Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 28, 2013 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 438 |
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icyveinedcfguy
. This is why most men feel that they have to compromise on huge things such as this. There is no compromise. You either want it, or you don't. We aren't in a society that has arranged marriages.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 28, 2013 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
Anonymous User
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 29, 2013 |
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lilin_unite
In some ways, men have it tougher being CF, not just because of the obvious reason (they don't have control over what happens with an "oops" pignasty), but also socially.
[...]
But men? Men don't get pushed as much, but they still get pressure, and they get it in a fairly insidious way.
Men are almost kind of expected to not like or want kids. In that way, CF men's feelings are given recognition. But at the exact same time, they're told that every woman wants kids, and they'll just have to suck it up and deal.
Because the pressure is so much more subtle, a lot more men occupy that "fencesitter/ambivalent" position, and wind up getting sucked into the baby trap before they've even realized what's going on.
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johnnybsterile
Why is it that most of the time it's the female who's baybee rabid? I know there are exceptions and sometimes it's a man who wants to spawn when the woman doesn't, but most times it's the woman who just has to "have a baybee!!!" [...]
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blondie
If a western man in 2013 doesn't know he can choose his own life, he must live in a bubble. I think they just prefer to fit in with the crowd than deal with the bingos and consequences of being different. If I can do it as a woman then I see no reason a man can't choose to be cf. It would be insulting to me if a guy assumed I was a breeder before even knowing me. This is speaking of men who grew up in a similar cultural environment, not the brainwashed who can't or won't acknowledge other lifestyles. If they have any connection to the outside world, news, television, and yes the internet, they know. If they are that disconnected, there is another problem there.
I agree men should speak out and talk about it more, but they will have to be in the mindset that women are not all the same with the same goals and motivations - gold diggers and moos. They will have to get out of the mindset of blindly following the pussy and use good sense. The best damn thing is to keep it real and if you are truly childfree, then live your truth and forget about all the rest of it. If regular pussy and a misperception of love trumps that, then fuck it all, just be miserable with your sham of a marriage and the vasshole you will be enjoying for years to come.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 29, 2013 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 29, 2013 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
Anonymous User
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 29, 2013 |
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icyveinedcfguy
Bottom bulletpoint:
* Look for the signs
* Don't stick your dick intoanything that movesa woman you don't trust if you want to avoid getting oopsed
* There ARE othervaginashuman beings out there; the loss of this one won't kill you
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Techie
Keep a bottle of the hottest sauce that you can buy in an area where you get rid of used condoms. Before throwing that condom into the trash, put about a tablespoon worth of hot sauce in it. That will kill any live sperm. If she tries to use it later with a turkey baster it will be ineffective and it will hurt her more than she can imagine.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 29, 2013 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,446 |
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yurble
1. You don't have to have children.
The importance of that cannot be underestimated. As long as people believe they have no choice, they will fall into parenthood with little thought. It can only make the world a better place if it is more widely articulated that it is a matter of choice and not mandatory. It needs to be heard, the more frequently the better.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 30, 2013 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,788 |
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3. You have to take responsibility for contraception.
I agree that it is unfair that there are more options for women than for men and that women have a backup (in abortion), but I also think it's unfair that more of the burden is placed on women, and female reproductive rights are under constant threat (from religious groups, and paternalistic doctors who won't sterilize). Let's just acknowledge that the situation is what it is, and your choices are limited if you're a man. That's no excuse for not being responsible. If you're a childfree man, the solution should be simple: vasectomy. It's not like you want to have children, someday, just not with the woman you're currently with, and need to retain your fertility.
If something is important to you, you don't leave it to other people to handle.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 30, 2013 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 1,227 |
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evilchildlessbitch
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3. You have to take responsibility for contraception.
I agree that it is unfair that there are more options for women than for men and that women have a backup (in abortion), but I also think it's unfair that more of the burden is placed on women, and female reproductive rights are under constant threat (from religious groups, and paternalistic doctors who won't sterilize). Let's just acknowledge that the situation is what it is, and your choices are limited if you're a man. That's no excuse for not being responsible. If you're a childfree man, the solution should be simple: vasectomy. It's not like you want to have children, someday, just not with the woman you're currently with, and need to retain your fertility.
If something is important to you, you don't leave it to other people to handle.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I agree with you that it sucks men don't have as many options as women. However, one reason they don't is because many men don't see birth control as "their" responsibility. I get so sick of hearing men whine and complain about being "oopsed" when they haven't done shit to prevent it. Even IF a woman was lying about birth control (which is not OK at all but that is another topic) it is almost impossible to be oopsed if the guy has had a vasectomy and highly unlikely if he was using a condom. I also think pharmaceutical companies would be quicker about making a male version of the pill if there was more demand for it. I am so glad my husband felt like he had an equal part in preventing pregnancy.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 30, 2013 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) August 30, 2013 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 5,716 |
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 21, 2013 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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New York Times
You might not know when your baby-making days are up, but you can calculate what it’s worth to preserve them. Figures vary by woman and by clinic, but the formula involves the cost of extraction surgery and freezing ($5,000 to $13,000, generally speaking), the number of eggs you can expect to get, the number you’re advised to stash away, your clinic’s success rate and the number of children you want.
All of a sudden, fertility has been assigned a value. If the point of a divorce settlement is to take inventory of a couple’s joint life and divide the assets, then that commodity [freezing of eggs] belongs on the negotiating table — alongside vacation time-shares and projected earnings from his and her M.B.A.’s.
In the New Jersey couple’s case, they decided to divorce after undergoing several failed attempts at in vitro fertilization. Mr. Lieberman’s argument is that since fertility treatments were part of the marriage, they should be considered part of the marital lifestyle, which should be maintained as much as possible post-divorce. The only difference is, in the future, she’ll use another man’s sperm.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 21, 2013 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 106 |
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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 21, 2013 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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phoebe_e_brown
Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 21, 2013 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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phoebe_e_brown
Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.
Anonymous User
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 21, 2013 |
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phoebe_e_brown
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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.
Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.
Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 21, 2013 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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lilin_unite
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phoebe_e_brown
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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.
Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.
Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.
When I was on the pill and in a stable relationship, I still insisted on condoms. It wasn't until I got my tubes tied, and again was in a stable relationship, that I EVER had sex without a condom.
I don't think he sounds MRA-ish. Female oopers and wanna-breeds have a distinct profile, and he's nailing it.
We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.
And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.
This is not something about "women" or "men." It's about a particular kind of woman, or man. And all Techie's really doing here is laying out all the stuff that they actually DO.
If they didn't actually do it, then I'd be more critical. But there's links on Bratfree to articles and forums in which women are ADMITTING that they did all these things to their partners.
I've known guys who've been oopsed, and those kinds of women really do these things.
I have experience with would-be male oopers, and I can tell you they do these things as well.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 22, 2013 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 1,651 |
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lilin_unite
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phoebe_e_brown
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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.
Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.
Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.
When I was on the pill and in a stable relationship, I still insisted on condoms. It wasn't until I got my tubes tied, and again was in a stable relationship, that I EVER had sex without a condom.
I don't think he sounds MRA-ish. Female oopers and wanna-breeds have a distinct profile, and he's nailing it.
We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.
And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.
This is not something about "women" or "men." It's about a particular kind of woman, or man. And all Techie's really doing here is laying out all the stuff that they actually DO.
If they didn't actually do it, then I'd be more critical. But there's links on Bratfree to articles and forums in which women are ADMITTING that they did all these things to their partners.
I've known guys who've been oopsed, and those kinds of women really do these things.
I have experience with would-be male oopers, and I can tell you they do these things as well.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 22, 2013 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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strange aeons
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lilin_unite
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phoebe_e_brown
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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.
Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.
Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.
When I was on the pill and in a stable relationship, I still insisted on condoms. It wasn't until I got my tubes tied, and again was in a stable relationship, that I EVER had sex without a condom.
I don't think he sounds MRA-ish. Female oopers and wanna-breeds have a distinct profile, and he's nailing it.
We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.
And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.
This is not something about "women" or "men." It's about a particular kind of woman, or man. And all Techie's really doing here is laying out all the stuff that they actually DO.
If they didn't actually do it, then I'd be more critical. But there's links on Bratfree to articles and forums in which women are ADMITTING that they did all these things to their partners.
I've known guys who've been oopsed, and those kinds of women really do these things.
I have experience with would-be male oopers, and I can tell you they do these things as well.
Agreed. I don't see that anything Techie's said as misogynistic, and calling this thread "MRA-ish" is a considerable overreaction. I mean, I didn't see him advocate rape anywhere.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 22, 2013 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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lilin_unite
We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.
And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.
Re: She wants kids but you do not (Explicit) September 22, 2013 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 134 |