She wants kids but you do not (Explicit)

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icyveinedcfguy
. This is why most men feel that they have to compromise on huge things such as this. There is no compromise. You either want it, or you don't. We aren't in a society that has arranged marriages.

Agreed. Compromise is when she wants a black car and he wants a white car, so they COMPROMISE and buy a gray car. How the hell can you compromise on a human life? A person who doesn't want a kid "compromising" and having one isn't a compromise at all; it's one spouse getting what they want and destroying the other spouse's life.
:headbrick

Presto: I was brought up in a very traditional, Catholic family. In my paternal grandparent's region, women had 25 kids and most of them survived. My mother had kids. My sister has several. I was pressured to breed, by men in college, and by my parents, including my father trying to find me a "good" man (read: European, well educated and rich). My mother questioned my reasons for getting married if I wasn't going to spawn. People at work harassed me non-stop to breed. When we bought this house a few years ago, the breeder bingoes about filling up this big house with kids were constant. One asshole at work started rumors about me, saying that I was pregnant. I had to go the admins to get that shit stopped pronto. So I know well the pressures you faced.

Techie: Most young women say they want kids because, "it's what you do." (quote from my sister 2 years ago). Most young people don't give it much thought when they're young. New data shows that about 20% of women in their 40's never had kids in the USA. That is few years younger than me. That says my generation DID give it thought, and 1 out of 5 are saying no to babies. In the 1970's it was 1 out of 10 women without babies.

With the worldwide economic crisis, people are thinking long and hard about kids. In the USA, I'm reading blogs and posts about young people who can't even pay off their student loans, much less consider breeding. If it's 20% now, think what it will be in 10 years from now, what with the internet showing alternative lifestyles, dissemination of information, etc. People will really realize that they have a CHOICE as to whether or not to have kids. That TIME cover showed that living without kids is a viable way of life.

There's also another thing to consider: studies show that the more educated a woman is, the less children she has. If you don't want kids, find an educated woman. Your chances are better that she won't want kids. You want to reduce world population births? Educate the women in that country.

And always, ALWAYS wear a condom if one of you isn't sterilized.

OP, a little too MRA-ish for my taste. If some “poor bastard” (as you call them) a creature that has “testicles” truly and sincerely doesn’t want to sperm-infect anybody, he will take the appropriate measures and cut the primary function of said testicles. Failing that, he could stick his pathetic dick up his own ass (perfectly doable; I’ve seen it countless of times in gay porn), or at least have the decency to religiously wear a condom each and every time. No triple thick rubber, no dice. If non of those pre-requisites are fulfilled, I’ve got zero fucks to give to the “poor” twat I’m afraid, and I hope he drowns in the putrid sea of soiled dippers, loaf vomit and leaky vassholes of his own freakin’ creation.

If he honestly doesn’t want to breed - as others already pointed out: he will get the fuck out of there and break up with the girl that is obviously not a good match for him instead of asking idiotic questions on a forum just to get his pecker stroked by his fellow penis-holders in Askmen.com

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lilin_unite
In some ways, men have it tougher being CF, not just because of the obvious reason (they don't have control over what happens with an "oops" pignasty), but also socially.
[...]
But men? Men don't get pushed as much, but they still get pressure, and they get it in a fairly insidious way.

Men are almost kind of expected to not like or want kids. In that way, CF men's feelings are given recognition. But at the exact same time, they're told that every woman wants kids, and they'll just have to suck it up and deal.

Because the pressure is so much more subtle, a lot more men occupy that "fencesitter/ambivalent" position, and wind up getting sucked into the baby trap before they've even realized what's going on.

Or... alternatively they could, you know, grow a sense of responsibility for their own actions instead of living in a conveniently insulated cloud of their own farts. Just sayin’...

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johnnybsterile
Why is it that most of the time it's the female who's baybee rabid? I know there are exceptions and sometimes it's a man who wants to spawn when the woman doesn't, but most times it's the woman who just has to "have a baybee!!!" [...]

Gender roles binary / hierarchy brainwashing. Society grooms women to be only 2 things: sex objects (elegantly addressed in the OP as: “head” and “pussy”) and brood mares + child minders (baby rabies). That’s it. Get rid of the gender roles BS and the pro-natalist indoctrination that go hand in hand with it and you’ll see a lot less women (and men) wanting to ruin their lives and bodies in the name of some retarded life-script.

Having said that, I do resent my own gender for being so disgustingly spineless and gullible, allowing themselves to be led by the nose like the fucking herd of cows they are, mooing all the way to barn instead of standing up for themselves and using their heads for something other than 'giving head' or heairdos.

I don’t do the “poor little women” or “poor little men” for that matter. Both genders need to grow the fuck up already and owe their own fucking shit.

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blondie
If a western man in 2013 doesn't know he can choose his own life, he must live in a bubble. I think they just prefer to fit in with the crowd than deal with the bingos and consequences of being different. If I can do it as a woman then I see no reason a man can't choose to be cf. It would be insulting to me if a guy assumed I was a breeder before even knowing me. This is speaking of men who grew up in a similar cultural environment, not the brainwashed who can't or won't acknowledge other lifestyles. If they have any connection to the outside world, news, television, and yes the internet, they know. If they are that disconnected, there is another problem there.

I agree men should speak out and talk about it more, but they will have to be in the mindset that women are not all the same with the same goals and motivations - gold diggers and moos. They will have to get out of the mindset of blindly following the pussy and use good sense. The best damn thing is to keep it real and if you are truly childfree, then live your truth and forget about all the rest of it. If regular pussy and a misperception of love trumps that, then fuck it all, just be miserable with your sham of a marriage and the vasshole you will be enjoying for years to come.

+1.
Thank you blondie
*Edit: and Peace! Loved that last one too!

It's quite simple men, use a damned spermicidal condom. Men need to own their balls and buy spermicidal condoms in the large box. Use them EVERY TIME you have sex. Forget about her telling you that she is on the pill. Use the damned spermicidal condom. The spermicides protect against STP and accidental sperm poisoning. There is no excuse for a man in 2013 (soon to be 2014) to not have the balls to own his own pair and take responsibility for them. Because if he thinks that birth control is a woman's responsibility, then tough luck if he's paying for it for 18+ years.

Choose your partner wisely! How many men go for the sweet young thing, only to find out she ain't so sweet? Make sure her philosophy of life meshes with your own. And for goodness sake, don't have sex right away! Make SURE you know what you're getting into (pun intended)! Quality is what matters here, not quantity. Problem is, men see a woman shake her tail at them, and they pounce, without thinking of the consequences. Think with your head atop your shoulders FIRST, not with the the "head" between your legs.

You can moan and groan about all the nasty things that a baby rabid woman will do to try to get your sperm, but the onus is on you to get out of the relationship if you don't want kids. You can stay with her and take her shit, or you can leave. It's your choice. As long as you're not married to her, you can technically get out of the relationship immediately. I once got out of a relationship with 2 emails that said bye-bye. I've had more breederific insults thrown my way than most of you can imagine, and yet here I still stand, childfree and happy. And, I'm female. In this day and age, there is no excuse to just stand there and put up with that shit.

If, as a CF man, you don't take ownership of your fertility, and assume that your baby-rabid woman will follow your wishes, then you're an idiot, and you deserve whatever happens. It's your problem then. Bed.Made.Lie

I was good with this for awhile, but I agree that is starting to turn into a quasi MRA style thread. I'm not a "pussy," I'm a woman. Vaginamony? Using vocabulary from Tom Leykis won't get sympathy from some of the women here. (I googled vaginamony to see its origins).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Leykis

I'm done with this thread.

I'm in agreement with Peace; I'm not entirely comfortable with this thread.

There are really only two things which I think a man needs to know, and they are the same two things that a woman needs to know.

1. You don't have to have children.

The importance of that cannot be underestimated. As long as people believe they have no choice, they will fall into parenthood with little thought. It can only make the world a better place if it is more widely articulated that it is a matter of choice and not mandatory. It needs to be heard, the more frequently the better.

2. You cannot 'compromise' on the subject of having children, or change someone's mind.

Some people seem to think that this topic can be a discussion, but it really can't, for any person who isn't on the fence. You should only get involved with people whose views are compatible with your own.

And, as a bonus:

3. You have to take responsibility for contraception.

I agree that it is unfair that there are more options for women than for men and that women have a backup (in abortion), but I also think it's unfair that more of the burden is placed on women, and female reproductive rights are under constant threat (from religious groups, and paternalistic doctors who won't sterilize). Let's just acknowledge that the situation is what it is, and your choices are limited if you're a man. That's no excuse for not being responsible. If you're a childfree man, the solution should be simple: vasectomy. It's not like you want to have children, someday, just not with the woman you're currently with, and need to retain your fertility.

If something is important to you, you don't leave it to other people to handle.

4. You don't have to be 'with' someone.

Learn to handle being alone if you can't find someone compatible. Don't hook up with the nearest warm body just because you're afraid you'll never find someone else. If you aren't looking for flings but a relationship, it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. (If you're looking for quick flings, growing overly attached is rarely a problem.)

Just a couple of corrections (in red) and comments.

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icyveinedcfguy
Bottom bulletpoint:
* Look for the signs

* Don't stick your dick into anything that moves a woman you don't trust if you want to avoid getting oopsed

* There ARE other vaginas human beings out there; the loss of this one won't kill you

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Techie
Keep a bottle of the hottest sauce that you can buy in an area where you get rid of used condoms. Before throwing that condom into the trash, put about a tablespoon worth of hot sauce in it. That will kill any live sperm. If she tries to use it later with a turkey baster it will be ineffective and it will hurt her more than she can imagine.

Here is a friendly suggestion to any man who would even consider doing this: you could maybe-- just MAYBE--take the time to get to know the woman you want to be intimate with, so that you won't have to live in paranoia and do strange, vindictive things such as putting hot sauce in used condoms. That image makes me laugh and feel so depressed at the same time. Call me old-fashioned, but nobody should be sleeping with a partner he cannot even trust. Sex is a lot more pleasurable and meaningful when you trust your partner. Of course, that actually takes time and patience, so my humble advice wouldn't be popular with about 95% of humanity.

I guess it is just easier to "get pussy" from some "chick" (or "get head" from some "bitch") and sabotage used condoms, than to work on acheiving real closeness with another person.

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yurble

1. You don't have to have children.

The importance of that cannot be underestimated. As long as people believe they have no choice, they will fall into parenthood with little thought. It can only make the world a better place if it is more widely articulated that it is a matter of choice and not mandatory. It needs to be heard, the more frequently the better.

I agree with this. People are brainwashed into thinking that you are less of a person if you don't breed. This goes for men and women. Be very careful out there...that's all I can say. There are too many diseases out there....womb parasites are only one of the many STDs out there.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

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3. You have to take responsibility for contraception.

I agree that it is unfair that there are more options for women than for men and that women have a backup (in abortion), but I also think it's unfair that more of the burden is placed on women, and female reproductive rights are under constant threat (from religious groups, and paternalistic doctors who won't sterilize). Let's just acknowledge that the situation is what it is, and your choices are limited if you're a man. That's no excuse for not being responsible. If you're a childfree man, the solution should be simple: vasectomy. It's not like you want to have children, someday, just not with the woman you're currently with, and need to retain your fertility.

If something is important to you, you don't leave it to other people to handle.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I agree with you that it sucks men don't have as many options as women. However, one reason they don't is because many men don't see birth control as "their" responsibility. I get so sick of hearing men whine and complain about being "oopsed" when they haven't done shit to prevent it. Even IF a woman was lying about birth control (which is not OK at all but that is another topic) it is almost impossible to be oopsed if the guy has had a vasectomy and highly unlikely if he was using a condom. I also think pharmaceutical companies would be quicker about making a male version of the pill if there was more demand for it. I am so glad my husband felt like he had an equal part in preventing pregnancy.

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evilchildlessbitch

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3. You have to take responsibility for contraception.

I agree that it is unfair that there are more options for women than for men and that women have a backup (in abortion), but I also think it's unfair that more of the burden is placed on women, and female reproductive rights are under constant threat (from religious groups, and paternalistic doctors who won't sterilize). Let's just acknowledge that the situation is what it is, and your choices are limited if you're a man. That's no excuse for not being responsible. If you're a childfree man, the solution should be simple: vasectomy. It's not like you want to have children, someday, just not with the woman you're currently with, and need to retain your fertility.

If something is important to you, you don't leave it to other people to handle.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I agree with you that it sucks men don't have as many options as women. However, one reason they don't is because many men don't see birth control as "their" responsibility. I get so sick of hearing men whine and complain about being "oopsed" when they haven't done shit to prevent it. Even IF a woman was lying about birth control (which is not OK at all but that is another topic) it is almost impossible to be oopsed if the guy has had a vasectomy and highly unlikely if he was using a condom. I also think pharmaceutical companies would be quicker about making a male version of the pill if there was more demand for it. I am so glad my husband felt like he had an equal part in preventing pregnancy.

I'm glad I have a partner who was willing to sit down and discuss the issues at hand, and not just blindly assume that I would take care of it. I'm glad that he trusts me and doesn't feel he has to put hot sauce in condoms or anything! I'm not particularly shy about being open about my views on breeding and chyyyldren though, so I guess my partner is confident that a birth control failure would not exactly have me dancing with joy.

Agree with nautilus that the preference is to have sex with someone you trust, but the reality is that people can, and do have one night stands, flings, whatever - in those cases, men should absolutely protect themselves against the possibility of unwanted pregnancy and STDs. Carry, and use, condoms, guys.

Many excellent comments from everyone. I think we were able to cover a very wide range of audience. In today's world, many different types or relationships can exist and many people find arrangements that are best suited for them. Some folks prefer long term committed relationships while others simply opt for the one night stand. Some folks have many different partners at all times. I am not here to teach any of them what is right and what is wrong, because frankly, I say they can do what works best for them. With all of that in mind I think one of the most important things that keep coming up is:

MEN HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN BIRTH CONTROL IN ALL INSTANCES.

Sure, there is nothing wrong if their partner is on a pill or had a depo shot or even sterilized, it is never a bad idea to use a condom. For the guys that want to maintain "one night stand" relationships, it is also a good idea to correctly dispose of such used condom.

For men who are in stable relationships, please remember, any relationship can end. Any relationship can go bad. Relationships are made of people and people change. If you are a guy who does not want to have kids and you are starting to feel that your partner does, question it. Find out what is it that gives you that impression. Accidents can happen to anyone at any time. But oopsing is usually planned and takes some time to execute.

How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.

For those folks who wonder, why do you need to test an oopser and what kind of relationship is that? I have no way of telling what kind of relationships people are in or are not, I am just here to share what I know so guys who do not want to be dads, do not create themselves a responsibility that makes them a dad. I do so without teaching abstinence.

At times, men ask, is that OK to get a vasectomy without telling your partner about it? You know, I think it is OK to get a vasectomy when your doctor says it is safe for you to get one. I do not know what kind of partner you have and what kind of relationship you are in, so trust and mistrust issues are really difficult to predict and discuss. I do know this, if you do not want kids, vasectomy is really helpful to insure that you do not end up with any kids. I can tell you, if your partner wants kids and you do get a vasectomy, if and when she finds out, you will have some issues to deal with. My advice: Get out now and save yourself from problems.

Yeah, this might be edging into a kind of MRA - ish range.

But, Techie, I don't think you're a bad guy. I do think that we can start to read certain things, and too much of it, and angry comments, and this can "begin to get to you".

I will make an example of something else - I have to keep up with biz and political news for work purposes. This Syria business - well you can imagine. My one partner is practically having a *stroke*.

So anyway yeah I read all sorts of news and I've been reading much about this. I saw some comment somewhere - the person said "I think this is all a "false flag" - those bodies don't even look real, they look like mannequins". eyes2 eyes2 eyes2

This is what happens when you read too many of the Tin Foil Hat sites. If you are surpassing Alex Jones himself in utter ridiculousness you might want to step back a bit.

And the same can happen with reading too much on any subject, that is slanted a certain way. It can get to you. Take it with a grain of salt. Step away at times. Read other stuff.

On the subject of women trying to trap men - sure they do. And so do men try to trap women. I have heard of this "used condom" idea - but I don't think I have ever heard of a single case of this *actually happening*. It sounds more like an Urban Legend to me.

Those who said - trust your partner / find someone trust worthy - yes, this is it. I am single by choice right now because I spend much time working, and I was recovering from an illness.

I have had issues with men who tried to ooops me, and / or turn me into a Stepford Wife. More than one, my exH was the worst example because he gave no indication of his true plans until he got his hooks into me. Others were easier to spot.

I do not translate this to 'all men'. I don't really care at this point / other things on mind, and it probably wouldn't do me any good to go around with a chip on my shoulder either. At present, it is a non issue, regardless.

Oh and one could go around with said chip on the shoulder and alienate a potential partner.

I try to keep it off of my mind and if and when I'd meet someone I'd be interested in - evaluate them as an individual. Not looking at this point and most of the men I meet through biz things are high strung drunks.

I will worry about it later. It's on the back burner. Others might want to try this approach as well.

Out of so many good reasons to leave a relationship if a CF man is pressured to have a kid, there is another reason to why a CF man does not want to stick around:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/07/opinion/alimony-for-your-eggs.html?_r=0

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New York Times
You might not know when your baby-making days are up, but you can calculate what it’s worth to preserve them. Figures vary by woman and by clinic, but the formula involves the cost of extraction surgery and freezing ($5,000 to $13,000, generally speaking), the number of eggs you can expect to get, the number you’re advised to stash away, your clinic’s success rate and the number of children you want.

All of a sudden, fertility has been assigned a value. If the point of a divorce settlement is to take inventory of a couple’s joint life and divide the assets, then that commodity [freezing of eggs] belongs on the negotiating table — alongside vacation time-shares and projected earnings from his and her M.B.A.’s.

In the New Jersey couple’s case, they decided to divorce after undergoing several failed attempts at in vitro fertilization. Mr. Lieberman’s argument is that since fertility treatments were part of the marriage, they should be considered part of the marital lifestyle, which should be maintained as much as possible post-divorce. The only difference is, in the future, she’ll use another man’s sperm.

That's right. It is now a law yet, but the idea is out there and if you are a guy and you wait too long to leave, you may be paying for her eggs to get frozen and her future IVFs.

Still want to date a wanna moo?

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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.

Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.

Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.

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phoebe_e_brown
Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.

LOL. I did not know what an MRA was until relatively recently. I had to google it and read a little bit to figure out what it was.

Most of the stuff that I wrote here does not apply to CF women in any way. This was intended for wondering male lurkers, but, I appreciate all feedback from everyone.

Yes, the stuff that I have posted is explicit and will offend people. But, having been in a few situations myself as well as reading countless posts on this board, I cannot help but warn men out there who want to be CF, that they do have a choice and that they do not have to fall for any kind of kid directed manipulation. Ways to do that are listed above.

It really grinds my gears when people throw bingos and say: "Why don't you give it a try and have a kid and see how it goes?" What in the world are these people thinking? I can try a new shirt and if I don't like it, take it off. How can anyone "try" to have their own kid, really? There is no going back. That's not a try. How about they try jumping off a roof and see how it goes.

I am extreme, radical, insane and I do cross all kinds of lines. Having my CF choice attacked a number of times left me with a little bit of bitterness, to say the least. I guess I did not have the luck of having a decent CF surrounding for a little too long but when I think about it, it was what made me vocal about. If I help others who want to be CF, stay CF, I have then done something that I wanted to do. Fuck forceful breeders in every way possible, male and female ones.

To this day I read stories about someone who did not want kids but was manipulated into having them. It is a crying shame. Sometimes, fire has to be fought with fire. I think CF people have to do what they have to do to stay CF if that is what they want. CF people do not owe anyone anything. At the very least of it all, CF people do not owe ANYONE a kid.

My thinking is such. Even if someone did want kids at first, but, now time has come to "start trying" and they do not feel like they want to do it, they should not have to do it. They should not have a kid unless they really want one. "Honey, you promised we'd have a child" may be a broken promise but broken promises are better than broken lives. Oopsing to not have a kid may be unethical, but oopsing to get a kid is way worse. If someone who wanted to have a kid does not get one, they can go borrow one. If someone who did not want to have a kid but got manipulated into it, they cannot undo it.

I wish there were laws against it. For example, a woman tells a man that they are going to have sex. He comes over her place and is ready to get it on. She changes her mind and no longer feels like having sex. It is her right and any man in a right state of mind should not attempt anything. The very same principle should apply to conceiving a kid. Sabotaging birth control to get a woman pregnant should be the same offense as using Spanish Fly to get sex.

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phoebe_e_brown
Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.

I may only SEEM ok, but, try to not let that thought be representative of any fact. LOL I will be the first one to admit, I don't have all my marbles upstairs.

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phoebe_e_brown

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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.

Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.

Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.

When I was on the pill and in a stable relationship, I still insisted on condoms. It wasn't until I got my tubes tied, and again was in a stable relationship, that I EVER had sex without a condom.

I don't think he sounds MRA-ish. Female oopers and wanna-breeds have a distinct profile, and he's nailing it.

We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.

And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.

This is not something about "women" or "men." It's about a particular kind of woman, or man. And all Techie's really doing here is laying out all the stuff that they actually DO.

If they didn't actually do it, then I'd be more critical. But there's links on Bratfree to articles and forums in which women are ADMITTING that they did all these things to their partners.

I've known guys who've been oopsed, and those kinds of women really do these things.

I have experience with would-be male oopers, and I can tell you they do these things as well.

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lilin_unite

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phoebe_e_brown

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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.

Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.

Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.

When I was on the pill and in a stable relationship, I still insisted on condoms. It wasn't until I got my tubes tied, and again was in a stable relationship, that I EVER had sex without a condom.

I don't think he sounds MRA-ish. Female oopers and wanna-breeds have a distinct profile, and he's nailing it.

We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.

And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.

This is not something about "women" or "men." It's about a particular kind of woman, or man. And all Techie's really doing here is laying out all the stuff that they actually DO.

If they didn't actually do it, then I'd be more critical. But there's links on Bratfree to articles and forums in which women are ADMITTING that they did all these things to their partners.

I've known guys who've been oopsed, and those kinds of women really do these things.

I have experience with would-be male oopers, and I can tell you they do these things as well.

hankyou SO much!!!

:yr

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lilin_unite

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phoebe_e_brown

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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.

Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.

Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.

When I was on the pill and in a stable relationship, I still insisted on condoms. It wasn't until I got my tubes tied, and again was in a stable relationship, that I EVER had sex without a condom.

I don't think he sounds MRA-ish. Female oopers and wanna-breeds have a distinct profile, and he's nailing it.

We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.

And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.

This is not something about "women" or "men." It's about a particular kind of woman, or man. And all Techie's really doing here is laying out all the stuff that they actually DO.

If they didn't actually do it, then I'd be more critical. But there's links on Bratfree to articles and forums in which women are ADMITTING that they did all these things to their partners.

I've known guys who've been oopsed, and those kinds of women really do these things.

I have experience with would-be male oopers, and I can tell you they do these things as well.

Agreed. I don't see that anything Techie's said as misogynistic, and calling this thread "MRA-ish" is a considerable overreaction. I mean, I didn't see him advocate rape anywhere.

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strange aeons

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lilin_unite

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phoebe_e_brown

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Techie
How do you test an oopser, you may ask? It is really simple. Start using a condom with her. If she genuinely does not want kids, she may ask why you need that and you can tell her that you just don't feel pill is safe at the moment. Again, if she is a CF woman, she will not mind an extra layer of protection. She will not mind extra birth control. If she is an oopser, she is going to flip out. She is going to give you all kinds of static. If you are in a what you think is a "stable relationship", you may want to think again, you relationship may be coming to end, soon.

Or, she's going to wonder where your dick has been, as the most rational explanation for a sudden switch to condoms is that you were cheating, picked up VD, and don't want to give it to her. Suddenly coming down with gonorrhea or something when you weren't unfaithful really is a dead giveaway. I would continue on to wondering why my partner don't seem to mind that I'm still taking the "unsafe" pill. Eventually, I would probably conclude, in this example erroneously, that he's been two-timing me and doesn't give a shit about my health. And then I'd dump him.

Techie, you do seem like an OK guy, but I think you've crossed the line from useful to destructive paranoia. Just please don't fall in with the MRAs.

When I was on the pill and in a stable relationship, I still insisted on condoms. It wasn't until I got my tubes tied, and again was in a stable relationship, that I EVER had sex without a condom.

I don't think he sounds MRA-ish. Female oopers and wanna-breeds have a distinct profile, and he's nailing it.

We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.

And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.

This is not something about "women" or "men." It's about a particular kind of woman, or man. And all Techie's really doing here is laying out all the stuff that they actually DO.

If they didn't actually do it, then I'd be more critical. But there's links on Bratfree to articles and forums in which women are ADMITTING that they did all these things to their partners.

I've known guys who've been oopsed, and those kinds of women really do these things.

I have experience with would-be male oopers, and I can tell you they do these things as well.

Agreed. I don't see that anything Techie's said as misogynistic, and calling this thread "MRA-ish" is a considerable overreaction. I mean, I didn't see him advocate rape anywhere.

Thank you for the support. Being Child-Free is not a walk in a park by any means. Often, such lifestyle gets attacked from every direction.

Folks on this board come from a wide variety of very different walks of life. We all have one main thing in common, we are all CF. How we got there and how we keep it going will vary greatly from person to person.

To me, being CF is not about really about any of the benefits that CF folks enjoy. I am CF because having kids is something that I have never wanted and still do not want. It does not really matter to me if I am better off than a parent or not. Me, not wanting to have kids is more important than just about anything else. If someone came to me and offered me a few millions of dollars just so I do have a kid, I would refuse the money and would refuse to have a kid.

The "fallacy" of many of my posts is that they contain, and, at times even advocate, ways to not have a kid, while, not suggesting a practice of abstinence. Depending on a person's age, background, upbringing and beliefs, such approach may send shivers down their spine. Likewise, some folks may find my posts boring and mellow.

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lilin_unite

We talk about the male counterparts all the time, with the same level of veracity. That doesn't make the women here misandrists.

And Techie giving the same treatment to female variants doesn't make him misogynist.

I would love to write a nice long thread about the male oopsers, their controlling and oppressive tricks along with their style of manipulation. Being a guy myself, unfortunately, I do not hear enough details from such men. They usually keep their wanna duh agenda on a down low, because not just CF men, but many PNB dads will do some damages to them. Male oopsers are often "behind closed doors" operatives. They will do their dark nasty agenda in private but will come out smiling to the public. We are not talking about a gangster rappin "pump and dump the hoe" type of men here. We are talking about the "button down white shirt", "proper" type of a boy. The true, nasty son of a bitch mother fucker inside of them is not often detected by an unwary public. Such proper boy probably has a backing of his immediate family to stick to "traditional values".

Male oopsers play a slightly different game. I think it is nastier in a way that it includes possessiveness, control and is often followed by physical and emotional abuse. Correct me if I am wrong, but, what starts out as a male oopser usually continues on as a manipulator, cheater, abuser, and, at times, a whole lot worse. In almost all cases, a male oopser succeeds at ruining a woman's life.

There is one other trend I have noticed. "Bible belt", where the presence of "proper men" is prevalent, has more strip joints around than most other places. And, such joints are always full. For those who may take offense, please do not continue to read. But, here is my take of strip joints. They are a biggest waste of money ever invented. These idiots, who go to strip joints, they throw away some good money and they are not even getting laid!

Here's a little fact to suck the wind out of the sails of all those turkey-baster happy moos and almighty sperm-worshipping duhs out there:

Causing a partner to get pregnant or to impregnate you using deception is called "reproductive coercion", and it is a documented and researched form of DOMESTIC ABUSE.

It's been proven that reproductive coercion is a way for a person to gain control over their partner and make them more dependent on the abuser. It has been studied. There are papers on it. It is recognized by counsellors and domestic violence shelters. Google "reproductive coercion" if you don't believe me.

IF YOU DO THIS TO YOUR PARTNER, YOU ARE AN ABUSER. PERIOD. FULL STOP. NO NEGOTIATION ABOUT IT. Yes, that includes you, weepy wanna-moo spitting sperm into your hand, just like it includes the husband who flushes his wife's birth control down the toilet before raping her.

Stick that in your pipe and fucking choke on it.