Smothering stories master list

Updated January 6, 2016: Added the handful of collections from 2015.

I hope I don't sound like I'm tooting my own horn by posting this, but I kind of thought it'd be fun to have all the Smothering topics rounded up into one little collection for convenient reading! Plus I know I'm not the only person who posts stuff from that hellhole, so it wouldn't all just be my shit. I'll include some of the highlights from non-self-explanatory topics too.

I'm sure I missed some, so by all means, add in any that are not listed!

Holyshit I never realized just how many of these were from me until I saw them all in one place. What can I say? Smothering provides us with THAT much entertainment. Also, fellow mods, please change if you feel this should not be a sticky topic.

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2008

Moo fretting over daughter's "giftedness"

What's an 'intactalactivist?'

upWow - this is a new one
- Stillbirth pics are for chumps. This Moo posts photos of her ruptured ectopic pregnancy (actual topic is members-only)

2010

Tales from the Smothering swamp
- Moo claims a child cannot be abusive to an adult
- Tween awwtard prefers to play in the bathroom over going to class and pretends to vomit when he has to take his Ritalin
- Moo decides that not parenting her children whatsoever is an effective strategy

The Commode still smells on Friday night
- Moo and Duh raise retarded nephew who doesn't know his own name
- Moo home-schools brat when he doesn't feel like going to real school
- Dry nursing

First Commode list of the month
- Moo adopts a kid with the high five to be a sibling to her tard bio-kid
- Anti-vaxers denied adoption rights
- "How dare my ex-husband marry someone else and not give MEEE child support?!"

Smothering.com is taking it to another level
- Moos discuss how they fuck their men while co-sleeping with their brats

Disgusting feral brats over at the Commode
- "Stop playing with the dog's poopy."
- "Please don't put your dinosaur in your butt. Thank you."
- "Stop chewing on the entertainment center."

Stupid MDC Moos tell it like it is... Sucks to be MOOOO

This brilyant Moo is homeskooling
- Moo no likey that someone who does a decent job of homeschooling her kids says that Moo's brats are fucking morons

Schadenfreude feast a la Smothering
- Moo hits Duh when he tries to leave with the kids, then he gets a restraining order against her
- Moo no likey that Duh tries to tell her how disgusting it is to tit-feed a 4-year-old
- Toddler strangles herself with a blind cord

upFriday evening MDC
- Gently-disciplined brat runs into other people's homes
- Crazy toadler throws atomic tantrums that include chewing her hands and hitting herself in the face
- GD heifer mad that daycare teacher uses a timeout on bratty kid after being told Moo doesn't do timeouts

upAnother disgusting MDC emoticon
- Gross tit-feeding icon

upWhat we're missing: MDC lifestyles
- Moo is tolerant of special needs kids... until her teenaged Downsling nephew takes her 4-year-old son into a bedroom to molest him.
- Moo gets a job while Duh minds the kids. Moo no likey Duh uses actual discipline on them
- In-laws tell Moo's kids they are brats to their faces. Moo no likey that her husband won't make them stop

upSome MDC fun
- Moo is jealous that she is as educated as her husband, but she doesn't get an excellence award and he does
- Co-sleeping twin loaves and toddler cause marriage problems
- Stories of shit kids have ruined; one toddler sawed the panel off Moo's SUV. They all think it's funny.

upSunday-evening WTFery
- Moo claims being disciplined as a child turned her into an overly angry adult, which is why she does GD
- The family cloth: wiping your ass with other people's waste
- Crazy gently-disciplined toddler likes to beat on her six-week-old sibling

upTonight's schaden-fare from Smothering
- Violent teen locks Moo in her room, super-glues the door shut, rips the phones out of the wall to prevent her from calling 911; also beats Moo and sets the house on fire. Moo is pregnant. Teen is deemed too violent for group home.
- Duh is in denial about his microcephalic brat
- Crazy brat makes herself vomit when she doesn't get her way and can do so without using her hands

up]Yet another twisted MDC twat
- Toddler self-weans, but Moo isn't ready for him to stop sucking her tits. Seems to think her stripping naked in front of him will change his mind.

upMoo madness, courtesy of Smothering
- Gently-disciplined brat runs head-first into edge of bed in an act of defiance, needs stitches
- Smart Duh gets kid vaxed behind anti-vax Moo's back. Board Moos suggest divorce
- Toddler horfs food at mach speed, doesn't chew, vomits i his mouth, then swallows the vomit
- Veteran member posts under a new name just to say she hates being a mother
- "Can I bring my daughter with me to a nut house?"

upThursday night dumbassery from Smothering
- 9-year-old French kisses his brother, Moo thinks it's totally fine
- Home-birfin' Moo butthurt that her boyfriend's father wouldn't allow her to rent his cabin to sluice in
- Moo's abusive ex kidnaps their kid and runs off to England with him. Six months after the kid disappears, Moo is incubating twins

upSunday night in the Commode
- Kid strokes out and sustains brain damage from home birth. Other Moos talk about how they killed their loaves via homebirth
- GD Moo wonders if kid is such an angry, abusive monster because of her tonsils, not her bio-father's horrible anger issues
- Moo says GD doesn't work for her kid, other GD Moos suggest her and her kid might be mentally ill

upDiva's Bag of MDC Goodies
- Wretched brat won't sleep without an hours-long fight that includes both parents
- Moo wants a time-out from her brat
- Insanely angry 7-year-old has screaming meltdowns over smells, wants to cut off brother's nose


2011

Wonder what our birth control is doing
- Moo puts awwtard in karate class
- Moo wonders why her 10-month-old only weighs 13 pounds when he only gets titmilk
- Turd-fingering toadlers

Smothering - Dr. Amy looks at the homebirth deaths

Happy Smothering 5th
- Duh threatens to rape Moo if she tries to leave him
- No insurance, Moo and Duh opt for homebirth. Have a fit that a midwife wants $4K.
- 8-year-old unschooled brat still can't read

Sunday schadenfreude, courtesy of Smothering
- Brat attempts to discipline his parents
- Masochist child punishes himself when he misbehaves
- Home-birthed loaf has Down's syndrome

Smothering, now in travel-size
- Sex offender step-son molests Moo's bio-daughter; later on, marries a woman with two little girls
- Wanna-Moo decides her husband should reverse his vasectomy to give her children to help her cope with her own abusive childhood

Does this bitch over at the Commode have a kid or a dog?
- Kid only pisses in the backyard

Long overdue for another installment of Smothering's WTFery
- Moo's Assburger husband's trigger is screaming children
- 10-year-old she-pig shits her pants because she doesn't feel like getting up to use the toilet
- Moo worried she can't use the community birthing center because the whole family has recurrent MRSA


2012

January Smothering madness
- Mother of "4 walking and 9 flying children," Moo wants to conceive after tubal reversal
- Brat is too tired to wipe its shitty ass
- Moo is happy about birthing rape baby

Commode schadenfreude
- Moos bitching about not getting the homebirths they wanted
- Knocked-up Moo and a floor-pissing she-brat

Is it ok to let mt 3 year old cuddle with and "interact" with my breasts?

April Smothering smorgasbord
- 15-year-old still pisses himself and wears diapers
- Son tells Moo to stop fucking
- Homebirfer names dead loaf "Miracle"

Just a couple of gems from the Commode
- Moo wants disability insurance for maternity leave
- Brat that likes to piss on everything

Travel entitlement at the Commode
- Moo decides to bring her brats to a no-kids wedding in Europe

September Smothering failures
- Surrogate homebirth
- 11-year-old bed-pisser who likes when Moo diapers him
- "Potty trained" toadler smears shit across two bedrooms and a hallway

December tales from the Commode
- Duh is more active in mistress' and bastard's lives than wife's and bio-kids' lives
- Homemade lube recipes for broke-ass breeders

"Birth rape" - a.k.a. Moos not getting their fantasy childbirths
- Smothering story somewhere on the first page of comments

Turds from the Commode
- Angry Duh throws brat into wall
- Tard requires a standing ovation for each bite of food she eats
- Brats who prefer to remain in time-out

Commode tards, both young and old
- Saliva management solutions
- Asspie husbands


2013

Major titfeeding entitlement at the commode
- Beefing Moo no likey that she is stuck in a private room to titfeed when at family gatherings.

Creepy Smothering Moo Poll: "How old was your son when he started getting pubic hair?"

Moo wants to be lavished with praise, not criticism
- Moo no likey that people aren't licking her ass over her third pregnancy or question her ability to afford another loaf

Natural famblee planning (and success rates)

Mother's Day Smothering
- Duh rapes son and gets custody of him, Moo gets arrested
- Anti-vax Moo's child already had measles and chickenpox, still won't vaccinate

June stories from The Commode
- Step-son tries to molest/rape Moo's bio kids
- Teen brat assaults adoptive mother and runs back to bio-Moo
- Awwtard drowns in bathtub

Adventures in the Commode - September 2013
- Destructive toadler does shit like hurl paint cans out the window and has ruined the house's plumbing
- Teen Moo stays with teen Duh who beats her
- Six weeks of doing elimination communication and not a drop of piss or shit has made it into the toilet


2014

First Commode list of 2014
- Moo who lets her kids play naked in the yard is shocked to learn her pedo neighbor has been lifting the kids over the fence to take them in his garage for "playtime"
- Birth reclaiming ceremonies, for the Moo who mourns not getting her dream birth
- According to Moos, Duh telling a kid he's bad for not listening = playing mind games

Straight from the cow's ass: Anti-vax Moos
- "How do I fake my kid's vaccination records?"
- 5-month-old has pneumonia and whooping cough, but at least they aren't vaccinated!
- Anti-vax breeders no likey when people say their disease vectors pose a threat to others

Smothering: The April Fools
- Does co-sleeping mess with fertility?
- Elimination communication at Grandma's house
- Diabetic teen refuses to eat brown-bag lunch and risks getting sick because it'll embarrass her to not order lunch with her friends

Happy early Moo Day, courtesy of Smothering
- It's fine to drink and breastfeed
- Too lazy to send illiterate kids to school, call it unschooling
- 92 pages of Moos who can't afford or don't want more loaves, but use no protection

Smothering Day, part II
- Child with kre8ive name and genetic skin mutation
- Various SAHMs griping about their sacrifices and lazy employed husbands
- Duh with 7 kids by 4 women; current wife has baby rabies

Turds in the Commode: August 2014
- "Birth abuse" and the Moos who survive pesky life-saving delivery procedures
- Gentle discipline Moo causes brat to bash head on floor
- "Should I make my kids hold my 20-week stillborn fetus?"

Smothering stories: November 2014
- Toddler that is allergic to nuts, meat, grains, eggs, seafood, dairy and some fruit
- Moo with 3 kids and herpes is worried no one will want to date her
- Breeder keeps dead fetus in saline bucket in fridge for 3 weeks


2015

Tales from the Commode: February 2015
- Smoking pot during pregnancy might benefit the fetus, says stoner cow
- Rape survivor Duh-to-be pissed about Moo's Blessed News^TM
- Moo feels students shouldn't get homework until teen years; second grade daughter suffers academically when Moo doesn't make her do her assignments.

C-Sections are a cruel form of birth control
- Article discusses that C-sections are horrible, awful things that could be so traumatizing to women that it discourages them from having more children in the future. According to one heifer, C-sections are "one of the unspoken tragedies and cruelties of modern birth."

Spawning again and post-partum rage
- When having five brats isn't enough to sate your child fetish
- Mentally stable mothers who fantasize about hurting their children

From Smothering: "Dear horny neglected Duhs, shut the fuck up. No love, your wives."
- An open letter to husbands about why they need to just shut the hell up about wanting any form of affection (not just sex) because their Moo-wives are too busy doing TMIJITW to treat their husbands (who are most likely financially supporting their lard asses) like human beings.

Happy early Smothers-giving
- Moo is butthurt that there are no support groups or resources for women like her: women who can't have children because their partners refuse to impregnate them.
- Loaves who can't figure out how to suck on a tit when said tits are right in their fucking pieholes.
- Delightful Duh who punches his toddler in the face and then threatens to murder Moo and calf.
- Moo who thinks her five-month-old is intentionally not cooperating with elimination communication out of spite.

An objection to adding a link to this thread to epic threads? I do think it adds some value to have them summarized like this (I've often thought of making a list of my favorite topics, because it gets hard to find them after a while) but I think there are already too many sticky topics - it takes up all the visible screen when I first load the living room. I'm hoping some more combining might be possible as well.

I like having the smothering threads in one place. It's fun to read the train wreck that is the commode.

Paranoia, paranoia, paranoia, paranoid. I'm not sick, but I'm not well. They're all out to get me they're all out to get me, so are you. So are you. (Sung to the tune of Frere Jaques.)

Nice! I try to read them all when I see them, but I know I've missed a few from time to time.
Thanks for putting them all in one spot, I know that was a bit of work to put them all together like that.

Love this idea! Smothering is one of my most favorite sites to snark about.

No objection to adding to the epic threads list. I also didn't notice until now that we were kinda thick with sticky topics. Sometimes the stickies don't show up at all for me when I log in. Does that happen to anyone else, or just me? It's weird.

Still cannot get over the 10-year-old pants-shitter story. That one is one of the absolute worst and most disgusting stories I've read there. Another good one is the novel-length chronicles of one Moo's poorly-medicated, extremely violent and severely autistic four-year-old.

Help! Severe aggressive/defiant behavior!
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1137864/help-severe-aggressive-defiant-behavior

This Moo just kind of fell off the face of the site in 2011. I wonder if her tard finally murdered her. The kid sounds like a real jewel: 8-hour-long tantrums, punched Moo hard enough to cause nose bleeds and split lips when he wasn't even 2 years old yet, and breaks shit. Moo also claims a daycare employee tore the skin off the kid's balls and that contributed to his horrible behavior, along with her attachment parenting.

It might be nice to see some other threads gathered as well, if anyone feels inspired to group some of the bloggers, for instance. I don't think Duhd Camp needs his own section like GFG, but it would be amusing to see the ongoing trainwreck.