Smothering: The April Fools

Let's see what goodies we've got this time around, and boy are there some doozies this month.

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:smn Moo asks if she should discuss her PPD with her kids (her oldest ones). Sure, let them know you're depressed because of them. Judging by her story, though, it sounds like just general depression with maybe a side of buyer's remorse. Duh is upset because their most recent mistake is a she-brat and then became very tight-fisted with the household funds. New loaf is "high energy" and doesn't sleep much and is allegedly sensitive to egg, soy and dairy (which I assume mean it screams bloody murder all the time), 4-year-old he-brat has ODD, home-schools them all, and two stepshits from Duh's former babymomma (both girls, which is most likely why he wanted a goldenpenis Of Our Own^TM). Duh also does not have his sow's back because he doesn't believe in PPD. Talk about a shitwreck in the middle of the Pashittic Ocean. I'd be considering suicide.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1398975/should-i-talk-to-my-kids-about-ppd/0_30


There is allegedly a condition called D-mer, which causes icky aversion feelings while boobfeeding toddlers or any child older than a baby. Most of these Moos talk about wanting to continue titfeeding their toddlers despite the fact it sickens them. Too bad more Moos didn't get this - we'd have far fewer kids sucking on the tit while getting their first periods or pubic hairs.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1396445/horrible-creepy-feeling-while-nursing/0_30


:gross 4-month-old loaf has allergic reactions to every fucking thing Moo eats and feeds to loaf via boob juice. Loaf is even allergic to infant probiotics. Won't suck on a bottle. I'm wondering if it would be more humane to just let nature take its course with this thing. What kind of a future does such a sickly child have?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1394152/multiple-and-many-food-protein-intolerances-in-an-exclusively-breastfed-baby/0_30


r Elimination communication Moo is "training" her loaf by doing things like holding her hand under loaf's ass while it pisses and Moo makes a "psssss" noise. Is frustrated over the fact the loaf does not provide the proper "signals" before it pisses or shits. I wonder what their house smells like.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1400119/frustrated/0_30


Moo seems to still live with her own parents, and does elimination communication with her six-month-old. Kept missing the kid's piss and shit and it proceeded to do so on the carpet, which made Meemaw not too happy. Ugh, can you imagine letting someone stay in your house out of the goodness of your heart and they thank you by letting their kids shit all over the carpet? But later on, Moo says they use cloth diapers. So why the fuck do they let their bastard shit and piss free-range like an animal? If Moo wants to shit up her own house or car (if she has her own), then fine. But at least put the little freak in a shitrag in other people's homes or when going out. No one has to see your cunt-dragon shitting in the sink.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1397883/starting-to-do-ec-while-out-about-tips-please/0_30


:sx Moo asks if cosleeping messes with fertility. I could only wish; it might stop some of these heifers from serial breeding. Several Moos discuss that subsequent loaves born after the first one were all conceived while cosleeping. One Moo has conceived SEVEN times while cosleeping with a loaf or toddler. Yum. Why is this not considered child abuse? I question the sanity of anyone who can get hard or wet and proceed to orgasm with their own child beside, on, or under them.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1399439/does-co-sleeping-affect-fertility/0_30


:dindin Stupid lazy teen brat lets food rot in her backpack when Mommy and Daddy don't give her lunch money and send her off with a packed lunch. Teen is also a type I diabetic, so her going all day long without eating because bawwwww she's too scawwed to let her fwiends see her horfing a ham sandwich and string cheese instead of fish sticks and mac-n-cheese can't be good for her health. Moo asks for "logical" consequences for this behavior. I say let the wasteful little cunt get sick, or deny her dinner for a night since she has such a problem with home food. Suddenly those moldy apples and sandwiches might seem awfully good. If she can't be arsed to be responsible for her own sick ass, then she needs a hard dose of reality and what happens when you don't learn to properly deal with your health.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1399825/logical-consequences-for-this-situation-help


:iws Dumbshit Moo fucks with immature moron and has his child, and Duh gets the daughter every weekend. He claims to be bipolar and tells his daughter things like her mother doesn't love her, and the girl doesn't gt bathed at all while with Duh. Duh's new pussy tells the daughter that she talks funny and the other kids will make fun of her in school,and has told Moo that the two of them (as in Moo and new girlfriend) should work on the daughter's speech impediment, which Moo claims is nonexistent. Duh is also a felon. I'd like to know what judge decided it would be a good idea for the Duh to have visitation rights.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1399436/father-of-child-acts-immature


:Violin Assload of single Moos whining about why single Moohood sucks. Well maybe if you chose your sperm donors with more than a fraction of a second of thought (or the choice to breed at all), you wouldn't be so fucking miserable. The most common complaints are being broke, no adult company, not being able to sleep in or have a break, and no one giving a fuck when you're sick and still have to wrangle your screaming bastard(s).
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/226606/things-that-suck-about-being-a-single-parent


What do you do when someone else's gently disciplined brat hits you? I say hit them back and when the Mama Bear Claws^TM come out, say you have Assburgers and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Not so cyoote when it's an adult, is it?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1399988/dealing-with-other-peoples-out-of-control-children

Oh my gooness, how stupid people are.

My favourite is the 12 years old diabetic kid. She is an amazing idiot. She is risking death or permanent damage because OMG what may people think of her?!!1!?
Idiot. I am glad not to have children, oh so glad!

_______________________

“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

WOW, what a wagon load of fuckery! :hs

I wonder if there is a condition called CF-mer that causes aversion to seeing boobfed toadlers? m

Great, we now have an excuse that breeders can understand to use when we don't wanna see them titfeeding. "Sorry, I have D-MER and I had to stop feeding Shitley when she was 5 years old!"

D-MER, also known as being fucking normal!

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aliceblue
WOW, what a wagon load of fuckery! :hs

I wonder if there is a condition called CF-mer that causes aversion to seeing boobfed toadlers? m

"Wagon load of fuckery" is my new favorite 'saying' ! wink

I can envision using this at least 3 -5 times at work tomorrow!

After hours, too!

wink

Cambion - I LOVE! your compilations of these!!! - I think you should get a Pulizer Prize for these! Not to mention that it all works as Public Service Announcements as well - so - Humanitarian Awards to you too! wink

And, Best of All - it's Good Readin' !!!

hankyou jerry :yr

Cambion, I love these compilations too ... And here I was on about going to bed at before midnight. Fuck that jerry

I am so happy after reading some of that hot mess. Why? Because that will never, ever be me!

"Elimination communication" haha what total bollocks.

The diabetic brat was one of the bigger WTFs on this list. Just goes to show how genuinely retarded teens are that they would rather go hungry all day long AND risk serious health problems (this brat is supposed to text her numbers to her nurse and her parents and routinely forgets to) just so no one will think less of her for not eating the hot meal the cafeteria serves.

You know, I bet if she just threw away her sandwiches at school, her idiot parents would be none the wiser. Sounds like she's not even smart enough to do that. Well I sure hope it'll be worth it if her sick ass winds up in the hospital. Moo says "for the most part she is extremely compliant (meaning she knows the importance of taking care of herself and does so willingly)." So not eating for 9 hours and not keeping track of your blood sugar when you're a diabetic is considered compliant? Usually it's old people who go "harumph" and decide they don't need to take medications and eat things that will keep them alive, though that's often out of stubbornness/age denial and not straight up stupidity.

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Cambion
So not eating for 9 hours and not keeping track of your blood sugar when you're a diabetic is considered compliant? Usually it's old people who go "harumph" and decide they don't need to take medications and eat things that will keep them alive, though that's often out of stubbornness/age denial and not straight up stupidity.

Yes. Denial is *not* just a river in Egypt. I have a friend who is five years older than my elderly ass, and he has recently been diagnosed diabetic. He utterly refuses to eat the recommended 6 to 8 small meals a day to keep his blood sugar on the level, instead opting to eat "only when I'm hungry," once or twice a day. I constantly nag him about this, so far to no avail. He's a science nerd (degree in chemistry), which makes it worse; he thinks he knows just as well as his doctor what he should and shouldn't do.

So chyldren aren't the only ones who defy medical orders, unfortunately.

The diabetic brat might learn when she's going blind/or losing both feet. Might is the operative word in that first sentence.

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skyeyes

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Cambion
So not eating for 9 hours and not keeping track of your blood sugar when you're a diabetic is considered compliant? Usually it's old people who go "harumph" and decide they don't need to take medications and eat things that will keep them alive, though that's often out of stubbornness/age denial and not straight up stupidity.

Yes. Denial is *not* just a river in Egypt. I have a friend who is five years older than my elderly ass, and he has recently been diagnosed diabetic. He utterly refuses to eat the recommended 6 to 8 small meals a day to keep his blood sugar on the level, instead opting to eat "only when I'm hungry," once or twice a day. I constantly nag him about this, so far to no avail. He's a science nerd (degree in chemistry), which makes it worse; he thinks he knows just as well as his doctor what he should and shouldn't do.

So chyldren aren't the only ones who defy medical orders, unfortunately.

One of the staff at my wife's work had a mother was a non-compliant diabetic. She also ate a lot of unhealthy food and didn't seem to care. She ended up in a coma and eventually died. It's very sad but some people just don't listen.