Coffeehouse owner's awesome take on German yuppy mooswink

An aquaintence of mine posted this article on facebook, its an excerpt from a book named: „Let me pass, I am a mother! About luxury parents and their decider spawn“. The article is an interview with a coffe house owner at Prenzlauer Berg, a neighborhood in Berlin infamous for the the gentrification of the place which once was more underground/gay &lesbian. Now it seems to be the headquarter of the entitle yuppy moos.

http://m.taz.de/!79576;m/

The article is in German and google translate will probably have a hard time with the dialect the coffeehouse owner speaks so I will translate the most hilarious parts (those are the coffeehouse owner's direct quotes, I will try my best to properly translate the dialect and humorous words she uses. My comments are in brackets):

“I have had it with those broads, here at Prenzlauer Berg. One in the buggy, one at the buggy and pregnant, waddling down the street. They really think they are something better because the got kiiiiids! Wow! Something totally new that you can procreate! Look outside, again 2 cattle!(thats I think the best thing about this article, she has a kid herself and probably never ever heard of CF but she can identify those moos for what they are)
Look at them! I could hurl, who would lay something like that? Hair dresser? They don't need one. Wearing anything different from the same old Jack-Wolfskin Jacket? Noo, no way. The old gaffer will pay anyways, they got him on the hook with their brat.

They enter the coffeehouse with their three buggies. But my coffeehouse has only 30 square meters space, then the house is full. I tell them to take one inside but leave the others outside. One of the old hags start mooing: “Thats discrimination!” Well if you all roll in here there is no space left for other guests. The cow starts whining: “I will tell everybody how children are discriminated here!” “Yes, tell them all “ I say to her, so your kind stays the hell away from here.

Just recently one showed up during lunch time. I have Salads, Baguettes and Bagels among other things. The moo complains: “Can I get the round beef soup without the meat?” I tell her that's not possible, she should order something else. Cow: “But my babbbby is highly allergic to beef, will you take responsibility if he gets a shock through my breast milk?”
I kicked her out, since its still my coffeehouse. And all the time the same lowing: “I gonna sue you! I live here and tell aaaaall my friends not to come here!” Do that, I tell them every time.

I really don't give a rat's ass if they come here or not. They don't consume anything anyways. They are all Swabians (The stereotype in Germany is that Swabians are really stingy) ,hence they will suffer greatly if they have to pay more than 1 buck.
Some just sit down, pull out their thermos flask with coffee, and cookies for the brat. “No, thanks, nothing for me.” Are they nuts? And IF they get coffee with milk then they will nip on it for 3 hours , block the walkways and blabber, blabber, blabber, since they don't have anything to do anyways.Then they insist on coffee without cow, but with soy. They don't get it from me. Sure I have soy milk but that's only for the good customers, not for the cattle.

Back then Prenzlauer Berg was much more underground, gay- lesbian, everything. And now they flock in here, whip out their udders and titfeed their kids. They don't bother with blanket covers, noooo, each and everybody should see that they can nurse their babies and that they can still do it with 40+ or whatever their age is. They are making a big deal out of it. The word nurse( stillen in German) comes from silence ( Stille in German, basically she says that they should stop being loud attention whores).
But they don't get it, those cows. I have gay regular customers, they see this and say:”I am sorry Tanja, but I am starting to feel sick, I can't visit your coffeehouse anymore if they keep having their hanging udders out.” I can totally understand that, I have kid myself which is 5 years now.

Also you wouldn't believe what goes on during the parent teacher conference at the kindergarden. All come waddling in with their kids and start the whining:” My son needs Spanish classes, my daughter had to play alone yesterday, why is there no organic food, last time the kindergarden teacher had a mean look on her face. The head of the kindergarden, I know her from my older daughter, she ran out crying.” They all then threaten to sue the kindergarden, since they are married with attorneys.

Those cows don't know that they hubby got a side dish, I meet them all in here. Those guys show up here in the evening with their secretary, make out with her when just this afternoon they went to the playground with their old hag and the brats. But the cows don't get it, they think that they got the old gaffer on the hook with the kids. But those guys are clever.
They married a pretty woman, put some babies in her and then the cultural sciences graduate mutates to a sanctimommy.( in those relationships often both have a degree but often the duh has a career since he studied something more practical like engineering or law, while the moo studied something like German language and literature studies or sociology so she has a hard time building a career and rather becomes a martyrmommy)

They are never satisfied with anything. Too much traffic, too many houses and not enough playgrounds. But its A-Ok for them to drive some fatass moovan, to prepare for the next kid. Are they nuts? The amount of playgrounds here is the highest ever in this quarter. Then the cows sit around there and are bored. Logical, I would be bored too. But I actually got something to do, I got the coffeehouse, I have kids, a boyfriend and I look good.

Now they want to transform the Gethsemaneplatz to a pedestrians walkway with greenery, so they want to take the last customer parking lots away from us businesses. They call that a “shared space” (from German it would translate to “encounter zone”). I mean, hello??
If I wanna “encounter” someone, I gonna call them. I don't want to be friends with every single person here and bake sandcakes. Seriously not. I don't get why they just can't move away if everything is sooo terrible here. Bla bla, whine while- thats what they do the whole day.

In four years my lease agreement will run out. Maybe I have to move since the Hamburg honcho landlord wants a midwife clinic in here. But maybe I can stay. Do you know what I will do then? I will open an erotic store! With everything under the sun! Then they cattle has something to gawk at. And to learn. At least they won't show up in here then.

At that time a regular customer comes in and upon hearing about what was talked about he agrees and mentions that he will move to another neighborhood since the place where he lives faces a playground and he can't take the screaming anymore.

I worked part time as waitress and have to say the coffeehouse owner is my new hero! The moo smack-downs she gives are awesome!

I wish more places here in the States were like that. It always seems to make the national news when an owner of an eatery cracks down on kids. The moos low long and loud, threatening a boycott; someone puts up a poll; the cows are shocked! when most people agree with the owner; everything quiets down and in the next couple of years, the owner sees business and profits improve.

It happened with McDain's Almost three years after the owner instituted a ban on small children and this is how they have fared

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So in July 2011, Vuick banned anyone under six, citing it as the best decision he’s made. “I’ve gotten an overwhelming response from people all over the world, and it’s a thousand to one in favor of what we’ve done. Every day a customer seeks me out to thank me for the policy, or someone writes to tell me they wish a restaurant near them would institute this policy. Business is up and it’s even helped me get some staff I wouldn’t have otherwise attracted.”

I wish there were more followups about other businesses who instituted such policies, perhaps more eateries would realize that the initial screeching from cows will be worth it in the long run.

So, kudos to the German cafe owner. I hope they don't back down on their opinion and actions. It will be worth it, down the road.

ah, I had no clue that the situation is that bad at the Prenzlauer Berg. :O Maybe my girlfriend knew about that all along (since she lives in Berlin and knows the places there really well).

I really like the smackdown, high-time to see something like this!

That. Is. Hysterical!

I don’t know what these dumb cows think will happen when they use the “ZOMG I’ll tell all my friends never to come to this restaurant/store/cafe ever again!” whenever the establishment doesn’t kiss their asses.
Go ahead, Bessie. I’m sure business will go up now that you and your cunt biscuits are no longer stinking up the place. Yeah, go on and tell the rest of the herd not to come here anymore. People are sick of your unsupervised pants shitters screeching and making a mess of the place while you sit on your triple-wide asses and do sweet fuck all.
What’s that you say? You’re married to an attorney? Oooo, aren’t you so very special! Get the fuck out, you entitlement-minded cow. Oh by the way, I saw your attorney husband last night. He had a pretty blond on his arm. It’s not the first time he’s been in here with her either. I guess he got tired of your lard ass, cavern cooter and flapjack tits, which you really shouldn’t be whipping out in public by the way. It’s not in good taste.
Why do they need those monstrosities anyway? Shit, I could sit in one of those things, and there would still be enough room to fit another person.

OK, I'm re-reading my post and something struck me about the McDain's situation. The owner says:

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Business is up and it’s even helped me get some staff I wouldn’t have otherwise attracted.”

We always read about the reactions customers have to these kind of changes. The cows screech, but most people applaud and support the owner. I never thought that such changes might affect the kind of people willing to work there. I'm sure it doesn't take long for someone who works in food service to realize the hell that is working with parents and their brats. There have been enough long-suffering posts on the customers suck sites. I can imagine the enthusiasm those people might feel at job openings in a restaurant where young children are not allowed. McDain's was probably able to hire a number of experienced, deft servers who left the industry because of the burnout in having to deal with brats and their boorish handlers.

I love how "cow" terminology transcends language. CF people everywhere around the globe innately know what to call useless breeders!

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Dorisan

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Business is up and it’s even helped me get some staff I wouldn’t have otherwise attracted.”

We always read about the reactions customers have to these kind of changes. The cows screech, but most people applaud and support the owner. I never thought that such changes might affect the kind of people willing to work there. I'm sure it doesn't take long for someone who works in food service to realize the hell that is working with parents and their brats. There have been enough long-suffering posts on the customers suck sites. I can imagine the enthusiasm those people might feel at job openings in a restaurant where young children are not allowed. McDain's was probably able to hire a number of experienced, deft servers who left the industry because of the burnout in having to deal with brats and their boorish handlers.

I've come across quite a few restaurant employees who quit because they were sick of catering to breeders and their hell spawn. I've also known the ones that will barely lift a finger for the tables that have spawn. Not only are breeders the worst tippers on the planet they also run the staff ragged wanting countless substitutions and special consideration. Applying to work in a place where they don't have to do that makes sense to me.

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satansbitch
I've come across quite a few restaurant employees who quit because they were sick of catering to breeders and their hell spawn. I've also known the ones that will barely lift a finger for the tables that have spawn. Not only are breeders the worst tippers on the planet they also run the staff ragged wanting countless substitutions and special consideration. Applying to work in a place where they don't have to do that makes sense to me.

It is a rare family table at a restaurant that doesn't look like a bomb went off after they left.

It takes restaurant staff much longer periods of time, a strong stomach, and a superior work ethic to try to clean up properly after a family table.

The usual minimum at a family table is a pile of debris on the floor /rug that requires special equipment, sticky spills on table/tablecloth, wadded up paper/ placemats/ napkins, spilled or sucked on condiments and piles of assorted detritus.

You honestly do not ever want to know the worst case scenarios because they are so disgusting in the hazmat categories.