Dear Abby-April 20, 2014

One of the letters in the 4/20/14 column is from a grandmother who writes that every time her grandchildren come to visit her, a 15 year old girl who lives next door likes to come over and hang out with the little kiddies. She says that this girl overstays her welcome, even hanging out after the grandkids have gone to bed. She says that she knows the girl doesn't have a lot of friends and may be lonely, but she would like some privacy to spend time with her grandkids alone. She asks Abby for advice.

And what happens? Abby lays this guilt trip on her: "I feel sorry for your lonely neighbor, who not only doesn't have many friends, but may also not have a grandmother in her life. Your relationship with your granddaughters may be the only taste she has of what this special, loving bond is like." She goes on to suggest that she find a way to scale back on the girl's visits without cutting her off completely.

And on the site that I was reading, the comments were full of people laying on the guilt that "this poor girl has probably never known a good family life," and lays it on thick that the OP would be a monster is she doesn't willingly allow this girl to come over all the time. Everyone kept saying that if the OP told the girl that she couldn't come over, it would break her poor widdle heart and how rejected she would feel, and how the OP had the chance to "become the beacon" in this girl's life, etc.

If I had a child (and I never will, but if I did) I would parent it. But I would be damned if I would allow people to give me a guilt complex about not also parenting some random child that lives in my neighborhood as well!

There should be a system that matches wannabe grandparents to kids who need an older adult in their lives. Fully vetted and supervised, of course. As a kid, our neighbors behind had a stable and horses. A single older lady living with her parents. They were or seemed happy to have me visit them. I have fond memories of time spent there. I never asked them for candy, or stuff like it. Listening to their adult conversations was fascinating to this young girl with a boring newborn baby brother at home. I wish I could find her now to thank her properly. Sadly, she may not be alive.

Is it really that hard to say, "OK sweetie, time for you to go home! See you again later!"

JFC, how hard is it to tell a kid to go home? Is Meemaw here really that much of a weakling?

This is why I try to stay far, far away from kids in the neighborhood. If they randomly decide to latch onto you, even without any encouragement or interest shown on your part, society will see you as responsible for them and will villanise you when you try to get away.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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barren4ever
There should be a system that matches wannabe grandparents to kids who need an older adult in their lives. Fully vetted and supervised, of course. As a kid, our neighbors behind had a stable and horses. A single older lady living with her parents. They were or seemed happy to have me visit them. I have fond memories of time spent there. I never asked them for candy, or stuff like it. Listening to their adult conversations was fascinating to this young girl with a boring newborn baby brother at home. I wish I could find her now to thank her properly. Sadly, she may not be alive.

I think there is an organization like this, similar to Big Brothers and Big Sisters, but damned if I can think of the name of it.

Screw that, this isn't a six year old, it's a 15 year old teenager who needs to get a life.

No these days I would not befriend the neighborhood kids for the reason that they are not taught boundaries or respect for others' lives or needs. It wasn't always like that, as a kid we had neighbors we would visit but it was to bring them something or if we were invited. I remember my aunt and uncle had a neighbor girl who would not leave them alone after they had my cousin. She was a little wanna-moo and obsessed over the baby, it was kind of weird.

Grandmoo could always pretend to not be home and just not answer that door.

This reminds me of another post I saw on here once. Basically, there was a girl who would come over every day to play and one time, even knocked on someone's window at 6AM waking her up. Some kids just won't give you any space.