Happy early Moo Day, courtesy of Smothering

It's not quite Moother's Day yet, but I wanted to get a jump-start on this sad excuse for a holiday with the help of the Commode.

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y It's totally okay to drink and tit-feed because "telling women that they can't drink while nursing is yet another way of undermining breastfeeding." The benefits of boobfeeding trump everything, including the precious miracles not getting spiked milk. It seems all you have to do is wait a bit after drinking before sticking a tit into the loaf's piehole, but that's much too long for some Moos. However, I'm sure if anyone suggested giving Loafley a few drops of whiskey to make him shut the fuck up, these Moos would be screeching left and right.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1352734/i-drink-and-breastfeed

down Heads up to Ohio folks - a case of diphtheria is floating around over there and who knows how many more people could be infected. The article seems to say the girl got sick despite being vaccinated, which of course means all the anti-vaxers are creaming their pants.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1401268/diphtheria-in-dayton-oh-despite-being-vaccinated

r I do good numbers! Moo feels her 14-year-old niece is not a teenager yet and takes issue with her attire, which is goth-type clothes, black nail polish and spiky jewelry. And the fact this kid is getting a SECOND set of holes in her ears or puts funky colors in her hair is just unheard of! Seems the girl isn't dressing like a slut and does well in school, so why does this Moo care so fuckin' much? Also Moo, skinny jeans are not "revealing." Idiot. At the very least, the other heifers are telling her she's a fucktard.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1400749/pre-teen-wild-child

Told from granny's POV. Moo has two ill-behaved monsters that can't read or write, Moo is a job hopper and has no intention of putting her brats in school. AKA unschooling. Granny asks if this is irresponsible. Seriously, when did it become okay to just let your kids sit at home, becoming dumber and falling far behind their educated peers? That was called "truancy" when I was a kid. Why is that not still a thing? I get that kids may learn at different paces, but it does them no favors to not enroll them in school at all.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1398472/unschooling-irresponsible

It's okay for the member Moos' kids to have "autism" but it becomes OMG serious bizness when someone else's little ADHD monster is biting one of their pweshuses. That's not allowed. The bitey tard is Moo's boyfriend's 12-year-old, and why Moo chooses to live in a house where her kids are abused by a tard is beyond me. The dickings must be damn good.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1401396/12-yo-friend-biting-my-9-yo-advice

:baybie1 Single Moo wonders what her future in dating will be like now that she's gone and turned her body into ground zero. A vast majority of unchilded men will want nothing to do with her because most guys like to actually feel something during sex. So her options will be single Duhs, desperate guys or pedophiles. It's cute that she thinks anyone will want damaged goods AND the glorious opportunity to raise some other guy's bastard, though.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1401469/dating-with-a-post-baby-body

:sx Moos who giggle about how they weren't NOT trying to be knocked up and using the pull-n-pray method. "Teehee I might be pregnant even though we can't afford a baby! LOL, DH forgot to pull out when I was ovulating, ain't that cute?" The reactions of the Duhs vary, but they don't seem to care enough to use a condom or their hand to avoid getting their women in-pig. This thread currently has 92 pages.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/882913/the-i-might-be-pregnant-but-i-wasnt-trying-thread

:fmbl Baby-rabid Moo (who already has a daughter and a son) wants another daughter, but Duh isn't totally board because the brats keep him from getting any sleep, which interferes with his ability to do his job while Moo sits on her ass at home playing house all day. I bet there will be an oops in his future because He'll Love It When It Gets Here^TM and he just has to be shown the light.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1399228/husband-not-100-on-board-try-for-a-girl-parents-of-3-please-respond-too

Boy, Cambion! What a fine choice of train wreks!

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Cambion
y It's totally okay to drink and tit-feed because "telling women that they can't drink while nursing is yet another way of undermining breastfeeding." The benefits of boobfeeding trump everything, including the precious miracles not getting spiked milk. It seems all you have to do is wait a bit after drinking before sticking a tit into the loaf's piehole, but that's much too long for some Moos. However, I'm sure if anyone suggested giving Loafley a few drops of whiskey to make him shut the fuck up, these Moos would be screeching left and right.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1352734/i-drink-and-breastfeed

Future alcoholic in the making, and it ain't like alcohol is worse than eroin for babbies... but you can't tell that to the lactating moos. Because, you know, you just can't tell them what to do!!1!

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Cambion
down Heads up to Ohio folks - a case of diphtheria is floating around over there and who knows how many more people could be infected. The article seems to say the girl got sick despite being vaccinated, which of course means all the anti-vaxers are creaming their pants.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1401268/diphtheria-in-dayton-oh-despite-being-vaccinated

Vaccination is not 100% effective. Still, unvaxed brats are a lot more likely to get it. Soon we shall see again children dying of diphtheria and diarrea like in the Good Old Time.

Do you know, btw, that we don't have a real cure for diphteria? The serum works only 50% of time. Huzzah for Darwin I guess.

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Cambion
Told from granny's POV. Moo has two ill-behaved monsters that can't read or write, Moo is a job hopper and has no intention of putting her brats in school. AKA unschooling. Granny asks if this is irresponsible. Seriously, when did it become okay to just let your kids sit at home, becoming dumber and falling far behind their educated peers? That was called "truancy" when I was a kid. Why is that not still a thing? I get that kids may learn at different paces, but it does them no favors to not enroll them in school at all.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1398472/unschooling-irresponsible

Cue to unchooling moooh going all lowing about "My kydz didn't learn to read until 43 but then they learnt the whole engineering curriculum in two months!"

The problem is that we ain't talking about fluid mechanic or rocket science here. We are talking about reading and writing. And to hell the idea that children will get "naturally interested" in something. That may work if you are awesome like the parents of Smarter Every Day (wonderful youtube chanel, btw) and show your kids all kind of stuff. Otherwise, they will just learn how to play around. Also, even if you are "naturally interested" in something, other subjects may be needed to understand it. Take Egypt History. Can kids get interested in it? Well yes. It is sort of cool. But they will be interested in the fancy stuff like mummification and pyramids, but I don't think that the fine point of how the burocracy of Egypt worked or their intricate system of chanels or their system of barter instead of money is going to interest the average child.
So you have children who know a smithering of cool but ultimately loose facts. Weee. So useful.

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Cambion
It's okay for the member Moos' kids to have "autism" but it becomes OMG serious bizness when someone else's little ADHD monster is biting one of their pweshuses. That's not allowed. The bitey tard is Moo's boyfriend's 12-year-old, and why Moo chooses to live in a house where her kids are abused by a tard is beyond me. The dickings must be damn good.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1401396/12-yo-friend-biting-my-9-yo-advice

The only good answers are the variations of "why the hell are you still there?"
But of course she doesn't answer that. She is essentially sacrificing her child in the altar of the Mighty Dick.
So much love here.

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Cambion
:baybie1 Single Moo wonders what her future in dating will be like now that she's gone and turned her body into ground zero. A vast majority of unchilded men will want nothing to do with her because most guys like to actually feel something during sex. So her options will be single Duhs, desperate guys or pedophiles. It's cute that she thinks anyone will want damaged goods AND the glorious opportunity to raise some other guy's bastard, though.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1401469/dating-with-a-post-baby-body

Oh boy. This is worth reading!

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Real Special Piece of Work
I am a single mother to a one year old. In the last amazing year, I have not even wanted to check my 'goods' out, in fact I have been terrified to. During that miraculous process of birth, I tore, obtained MULTIPLE sizable hemorrhoids, and incurred a lovely little hematoma. It has taken a full year for me to actually gain the courage to probe around. My body is a total mess. One year later and I might as well have the vagina of a stranger. It's stretched and is left with what feels like an uvula at the opening.

Miraculous process of birth. MIRACOLOUS PROCESS OF BIRTH. Who left her with her miracolous hemorroids, miracolous tears and miracolous hemathoma.
We don't have anymore the good ol'miracle of time past. What about a miracolous CS?

And lady, forget dating. Just forget it and raises your miracolous kid, won't you? Jeebus.

This bear watching. I can't wait for the answers!

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Cambion
:sx Moos who giggle about how they weren't NOT trying to be knocked up and using the pull-n-pray method. "Teehee I might be pregnant even though we can't afford a baby! LOL, DH forgot to pull out when I was ovulating, ain't that cute?" The reactions of the Duhs vary, but they don't seem to care enough to use a condom or their hand to avoid getting their women in-pig. This thread currently has 92 pages.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/882913/the-i-might-be-pregnant-but-i-wasnt-trying-thread

"Oops! I accidentally on purpose got pregnant! WHO would have tought that having sex could lead to babbies? :sx -> :bayybee"

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Cambion
:fmbl Baby-rabid Moo (who already has a daughter and a son) wants another daughter, but Duh isn't totally board because the brats keep him from getting any sleep, which interferes with his ability to do his job while Moo sits on her ass at home playing house all day. I bet there will be an oops in his future because He'll Love It When It Gets Here^TM and he just has to be shown the light.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1399228/husband-not-100-on-board-try-for-a-girl-parents-of-3-please-respond-too

Before opening this post, I made a sort of bet with myself. I betted that younger child would be around 2 years old and the older one between 4 and 5. And lo and behold!

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What a Surprise!
DD will be 4 in June and DS will be two in June

Now why did I bet thusly? Well 2 years old is the age in which you can leave the babby in a daycare without much problems. They get indipendent at that age. They get a personality, too. So mommy doesn't anymore have the excuse of the baby not to work.
And casually she got baby rabies! Image THAT!


Cambion those topics are awesome. I bow to you Keep the (entartaining) idiocy coming!

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“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

Re: The Drinking and breastfeeding thread. Many of these moos are nonchalantly admitting to drinking 'to the point of drunkenness' once or twice a MONTH, and that's besides the daily or two-three times weekly glasses of wine or beer. And WE, the CF are the ones who get the reputation for being liquor-soaked party animals? What the fuck? I barely get drunk twice a year, let alone on a monthly basis! Telling you not to drink like a fish during breastfeeding isn't "Undermining" the practice. It's one of those little sacrifices that are aaaalll worth it, that you're always lowing about.

Sorry, that whole thread makes my blood boil.

Re: The moo bitching about her 14 year old niece. This one hit too close to home for me...I've had an aunt act this way towards me...and I was 29 at the time. She had a shit fit about my tattoos; how will I get a job, how will they look when I'm 40, blah blah blah. I told her to fuck off, and not worry about it; my body, my choice. I used to like talking to this aunt...until she started that bullshit. You don't like ink, fine, but don't be a cuntcake to me about it. And she still wonders why I've cut her (and the rest of them) out of my life... eyes2

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

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A little off topic here, so I was reading the thread about the aunt complaining about her niece’s choice of clothing, and I came across somebody called Spiderpig. I got curious and looked at her profile and some of the things she posted. Wow. Either she’s a troll or seriously delusional. You have to see it for yourself. She claims her foster parents are celebrities but won’t say who they are ‘cause they’re so well-known, claims Prince Harry came to visit her family and she flirted with him, and apparently she has a daughter Juniper who she had at 13. She also claims to have not attended public school, yet her writing is not what one would expect of an uneducated teen moo. Oh, and she’s totes rich because she inherited property from three dead famblee members. And her foster parents are celebrities, of course.
Sorry for the threadjack, but I do believe I’ve found somebody who lies as much as Horta, and seeing as everything Horta says is a lie that’s really saying something.

Me too, I was a teenager before the Goth era, so I considered myself to be punk, but same idea. At first my mother had a problem with it but eventually she just let me be who I wanted to be. I wasn't a bad kid, much like the kid in that post, but my grandfather told my mother that I was a "fire spitting devil" anyway and I wasn't welcome at his house. I loved my grandfather but it hurt me deeply that he said that about me and stayed in my mind for years, even after I didn't dress like a punk anymore. As far as I'm concerned, I was just being a normal kid who wanted to express herself with radical hair and clothes. .

I'm wondering why the aunt cares so much. I think the aunt only cares about controlling the girl. The kid in this case hasn't done anything wrong. IF the girl is fourteen and already in tenth grade that means she skipped two grades. It also means she's damn busy with homework and doesn't have time to get in trouble.

I hope moo gets smart and drop kicks Auntie out of the girl's life until she's older.

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I do good numbers! Moo feels her 14-year-old niece is not a teenager yet and takes issue with her attire, which is goth-type clothes, black nail polish and spiky jewelry. And the fact this kid is getting a SECOND set of holes in her ears or puts funky colors in her hair is just unheard of! Seems the girl isn't dressing like a slut and does well in school, so why does this Moo care so fuckin' much? Also Moo, skinny jeans are not "revealing." Idiot. At the very least, the other heifers are telling her she's a fucktard.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1400749/pre-teen-wild-child

Auntie needs to back the fuck off, or she is going to alienate her niece big time. My guess is niece hates her already. This is not the 1800s, girls don't need to be "elegant".

These trainwrecks only prove that if you weren't a decent person to begin with, you will be a horrible person once you sprog. The thread about oopsing is very concerning to me, and proves that men need to WRAP IT UP if they aren't interested in having any (more) kyds. Either that, or get a goddamned vasectomy.

As for the goth-hating aunt, she should've seen me in the eighties! Decked out in skin-tight leopard jeans, hair teased out, dyed platinum blonde and black, and makeup that could rival Cleopatra. I've toned my looks down considerably since then, but OMG I can't believe I walked around like that!

It sounds as if Auntie needs to back the hell down and leave her alone, especially if she does well in school. Clothing is just an individual expression, and nothing more. Most of the time, kyds outgrow that shit, anyways, like I did.

And how is telling drunk mooos not to titfeed while they're drinking UNDERMINING titfeeding? They could be slowly poisoning their loaves with alcohol. They should be ashamed of themselves IMO.

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mumofsixbirds
And how is telling drunk mooos not to titfeed while they're drinking UNDERMINING titfeeding? They could be slowly poisoning their loaves with alcohol. They should be ashamed of themselves IMO.

And if one of these AlkieMoos kill a loaf via spiked beef juice, she's going to do whatever she can to put the blame on somebody else and twist it around so she can't be held criminally responsible and that she's Suffered Enoughâ„¢ so any punishment would be cruel.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

I can also relate to the idiot aunt. My Bible-thumping aunt took issue with me shopping at Hot Topic when I was a teenager because she felt it was a devil worshipper store. Shockingly, my mother never had a problem with me wearing funky clothes or shitloads of makeup. I'm guessing the Smothering aunt is thinking, "No man will want to have babies with someone who looks trashy. You must be a proper lady so you can get married!" Maybe the girl will outgrow the goth thing, maybe she won't, but the bottom line is it's none of the aunt's fuckin' business.

And I can't say I feel sorry for guys who are so desperate for pussy that they'll go bareback. I think a lot of the women in the oops thread already have brats, so if I had to guess, Duh figures life can't possibly get any worse after the first mistake, so what difference will another one make? And since breeders have so little sex once the loaf comes down the chute, they figure birth control isn't worth it and take their chances. I mean it's not worth it to blow $10-$20 on a box of condoms if you use just one rubber each year and the rest expire. Plus even without a condom, they probably can't feel much of anything. But it doesn't stop either the Moos or the Duhs from complaining. Imagine that? Sex causes pregnancy! Who woulda thunk? eyes2

Calving is the most important and fulfilling job in the world, yet these women feel the need to get drunk on a monthly basis? And I have a sinking suspicion that's a generous time frame; I wouldn't be surprised if it was more like Mommy puts away a bottle of wine all by herself every other Friday night. Never mind that it's common knowledge that whatever the mother ingests goes right to the boobjuice, including drugs and allergens. Junior can't have none of that ebil formula! Who cares if he blows a 0.08, just as long as he gets it straight from the udder. Women can get charged with various things for doing drugs and proceeding to nurse their loaves, so I wonder what people would say about these Moos who openly admit to titfeeding while drinking. Maybe it's not enough to get Moo herself drunk, but a kid requires a lot less alcohol for it to have an effect.

I can't believe how nonchalant those cows are about maybe being knocked up. If it happens it happens? How about putting some fucking thought into it? Apparently, I deliberate more about what I'm going to make for dinner than these idiots do about whether to bring another life into the world. Repugnant.

I had to giggle when I read about the aunt I think every single person has gone through this phase....myself included. I had to often intervene on my cousin's behalf to my grandmother, telling her he would grow out of it etc, he went through his goth phase and my grandmother hated it lol. Not to the point of telling him to change his clothes or anything but she would cringe when we went out somewhere. As for the "you won't get a job with tattoo's" BS....there is a Godsend out called Dermablend. I will forever be indebted to the young man at Ulta who introduced me to this. With PCOS you grow hair like a man and no amount of shaving is going to hide it for long, he being a drag queen knew exactly how to fix my problem. When he was done you couldn't tell any hair was there, it was literally like putting on a second skin, I sat there and cried. This stuff covers EVERYTHING. You can have an entire body of tattoo's, scars, burns etc and it covers it to the point you don't know its there. So aunty can shove off with the excuse of "you won't get a job" because if need be they can be beautifully covered.