Wedding bullshit - more entitlemoo action

Oh good Lord, the date has been set for OH brother's wedding to entitlemoo-to-be, and gaaaah, OH will be best man.

All the pre-wedding shenanigans of meet SIL tobe's famblee, etc, will be going on prior and guess who isn't invited....yup, because we are not engaged or married, I get to come to the wedding and evening do, not the wedding breakfas, but have to sit in the "outer circle" and am not invited to any of the famblee events leading up to it because I am not family. OHs mum's partner is getting similar treatment after 7 years or so.

Never mind that BIL/SIL to be have been.living together unmarried for 9 years pre-loaf and she has never been excluded from any family events from OHs family side. All of a sudden now they are loafing all this tradition bullshit matters. OH sees no option but to go along with it, it's their wedding, so their wishes that count and not anybody else's, which I get, but I just don't understand why all of a sudden because there is a loaf due on the scene why I am suddenly being treated differently - they never cared whether people were married or not before, but supposedly "it's different when you have kids, you have to uphold traditions".

Bet your ass they will still be expecting me and OHs mum's partner to contribute to the wedding registry, well if we're not family then they won't mind a gift that's in keeping with our outsider status.

They have a right to conduct the ceremony and associated events in the manner they chose. You have the right to chose whether or not you want to put up with their crap and attend. Better check your calendar again, I thought you had a big trip planned for that week?

Life is too short to deal with family shit, fuck 'em....

Eh.. weddings do bring the 'bitch' out in people. My nephew's new wife (oh it hurt to type that) is still not speaking to us because we didn't come to the wedding 3 months ago. I don't like her and my dh had to work and the wedding was 2 hours away. I sent back the discount card (another tacky move) for the registry and they got nothing. I have been giving and giving to nephew and his f*** buddy for a year while they lived together. Decorated the house... gave them a piece of furntiture and all kinds of stuff for the kitchen. They didn't deserve anymore once she found out I refused to babbysit any future sprogs. She told my dh she can't associate with me because I hate kids. And she claims to be Xtian. yeppers... that's a real doGlike attitude.
Anyhow... yep... it was the wedding and the impending family gatherings that brought out the bitch in that bitch. We've been married for 38 years and I am still not included in things because we dont' have kids. If that's the way they think then... I don't need 'em.

Get her a book on etiquette and a box of condoms.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

I don't go to famblee weddings anymore. I was just invited to my cousin's in October. They expect me to drive 500+ miles each way, pay for a hotel, and provide a gift. Then, of course, I'm invited to the bridal shower, to a bride I've never even met; where they expect not only a traditional shower gift, but also some kind of lingerie thing they're doing. So, they're trying to hit me up for 3 gifts. Of course, I'm not going, and I'm not even sure I'm sending a gift, because no doubt they only invited me for that reason.

Prior to this, I've only seen my cousin once in last 10 years, as we live in different states. So, it's not like we're remotely close or anything. Also, this is his 4th attempt at a marriage, as the previous 3 times he's broken the engagement at the very last minute.

The only good thing I can say about them is that the bride has no interest in chyldren at all, so I won't be hit up for a baybee shower gift. My cousin does have 6 y.o. though from a previous one-night stand.

Seconded what CFA said. She is free to conduct the arrangements as she wants, but she sounds like a twunt of the highest order.

Does she not understand that someone could be married and be divorced six months later? And this is being done because she's gestating a loaf? The loaf isn't even out yet and it's not as if the loaf can read the marriage certificates.

It sounds like she just wants to be a twunt.

I vote you take a giant crap and send it to her in a box. Or if you really want to show appreciation of her kindness to and to OH mother's OH...do what I did to the guards here who decided to help themselves to candy I had in a locked desk in a locked and secured room. I bought the Haribo Satan's Little Helper Bears that were mentioned on here. I then took dipping chocolate and melted chocolate exlax in it. I coated the bears, left them in a baggie that had a note on it claiming they were a gift from a girl whose wedding I attended. Left them here over Easter weekend. Let's just say I've never had a problem since and the best part? They can tell no one or even cry about because then they would have to admit to stealing in a restricted space

I'm sure the "honeymoon" will be made of fond toilet memories after.

I have witnessed SO MANY rude things affiliated with weddings and loaf showers over the years I could create a book based on all the horse shit! Below are but a few that come to mind although there are no doubt countless more!



We Want Your Gifts and Help with The Showers and Catering, but Don't Bother Coming to the Wedding or Reception
I was once asked by my mother to be one of the hostesses(which means you pay, plan and attend)for a wedding shower for the daughter of one of her closest friends, along with two other family friends. I had known this family since I was 10, am the same age as the bride, and although we weren't close friends growing up we knew each other well and attended MANY a family function together. KNOWING I was one of the hostesses for her daughter's bridal showers, I wasn't invited to the fucking wedding or reception! The way I found out about it was one day when I stopped by my mother's house and the Moo of the bride was there, I casually asked her about the reception hall and if it was the one I was thinking about that was located on Main St. in Atlanta. She responded, "Oh, we aren't inviting any of our friends' children". In other words, you don't need to know where it is because you aren't invited!

It was a double whammy because my sister, who owned a catering company in Atlanta, had been asked by the mother of the bride to cater the reception and was doing so as a favor at COST. Therefore, that meant my sister wasn't going to be invited EITHER. I called the lady in charge of the shower and told her I was unable to attend, but sent a gift and some money for my share of the shower. The bride sent me a thank you note for the gift and said something like, "I was SO SURPRISED to get such a lovely gift from you since it's been so long since we saw each other! That was so unexpected and thoughtful!". SO, she hadn't even known her mother was allowing people to host showers, be invited to showers(I was ALSO invited to a lingerie shower!)do the fucking catering for 300 for free, but weren't invited to the wedding OR the reception. That was THE MOST rude thing I have ever experienced in my life involving showers. If someone is good enough to be invited to the shower then they should ALSO be invited to the fucking wedding!

You Aren't Invited Because You Aren't Married to the Best Man
My first husband and I had been living together for about a year and were social with his best friend and his live in girlfriend, "Prissy"(her real birth name). Our wedding was scheduled in November and their wedding was in August. My husband and his best friend were best men at each other's wedding. "Prissy" and I got along just fine, I had thought. I was invited to all FOUR of her showers, which I attended and brought gifts. When the invitation to her wedding arrived it was addressed to my then fiance' only, but I thought SURELY on the inside envelope it would say, "Skip and Kim". Instead it simply said, "Skip and guest" and I received NO invitation of my own, so it isn't like she was being "formal" or anything, cunt that she was certainly knew my fucking address! When my husband asked her husband why I hadn't been included he said, "Prissy said since ya'll aren't married it wouldn't be appropriate". Bitch PALEASE. I didn't attend and when people asked I said, "I wasn't invited, so I didn't go".

High Society Red Neck Cunt DECLINED My Offer to Host a Loaf Shower
I worked with this red neck cunt who was FAR below the caliber of people I was used to, but when the owner of the business asked me if I'd help with her loaf shower I said yes because I liked the woman I worked for and she was a friend of my mother's. People were always asking me to "help" because honestly, I can put together a great party, do spectacular things with catering, and I can do it within a moderate budget too. Anyway, I had already made arrangements to hold it at my mother's huge and beautiful home because I was living in a small apartment, which cunt Phyllis knew. Cunt Phyllis ASSUMED it was going to be held at my tiny off campus apartment, which of course wasn't good enough for her, so when I asked her for a guest list she said, "Thanks, but I thought we'd just have my work shower here at the office". In other words, she DECLINED my being a fucking hostess!!!!

I know for a FACT it was because she thought it would be held at my apartment because I overheard her in the owner's office being told, "Oh, we aren't having it at my house, KIM is planning it". Up until that morning she was all excited about it because she thought it was going to be held at our boss' mansion and she had been going on about it for several weeks, "I am SO excited you guys are throwing me a loaf shower!.

You Are Invited to Bring A Gift and Attend a Fancy Loaf Shower, but Arrive At 1PM and Leave At 1:15PM
This cunt I grew up with bought a little girl from China after ALL other efforts had been exhausted to create a self replicant, so she and her mother held their OWN loaf shower, which in and of itself is inappropriate. They are wealthy so they rented out the fucking top floor of a country club, hired a band, high priced caterer, the whole nine yards. It was relayed to me her attitude was, "My mother and I have given and attended so many showers over the years so I am going to go back 20 years and invite any and ALL people we ever did business with, ever gave a gift to, all of our patients present and past, EVERYONE from our church, etc.....which amounted to over FIVE THOUSAND people, and, "They had ALL better send a fucking gift too!". So, since the country club room they rented would only hold about 800 people, they had invitations that read something like this:

"You are cordially invited to attend a loaf shower for our little paid for baby on July 24, 2000, between the hours of 4Pm-8pm, but due to limited seating and capacity of the ball room we request you arrive at (fill in the blank space and hand written in)1PM and plan on departing by(fill in the blank and hand written in) 1:15 PM."

Dress Code for Guests of the Wedding
On the invitation to the wedding of one of my cousins they listed a specific dress codes for guests. Women:Formal gown attire with white gloves. Men:Black and white Tuxedo. I am sorry, but WHO dictates what their wedding guests fucking wear to the church?


Among many many others. RARELY do I attend showers of any kind any more and IF I REALLY like the person I will send a gift. BTDT and have served my fucking time.
...down:bayybee:mrd

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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addiea raine
I vote you take a giant crap and send it to her in a box. Or if you really want to show appreciation of her kindness to and to OH mother's OH...do what I did to the guards here who decided to help themselves to candy I had in a locked desk in a locked and secured room. I bought the Haribo Satan's Little Helper Bears that were mentioned on here. I then took dipping chocolate and melted chocolate exlax in it. I coated the bears, left them in a baggie that had a note on it claiming they were a gift from a girl whose wedding I attended. Left them here over Easter weekend. Let's just say I've never had a problem since and the best part? They can tell no one or even cry about because then they would have to admit to stealing in a restricted space

I'm sure the "honeymoon" will be made of fond toilet memories after.

larious

That really is awesome. If they do get the chocolate fountain, I know what to slip in it!

Kim, I take my hat off to you, some truly entitled twuntery there. I can't believe the front of someone who would actually expect someone to host a shower and do all that work and then not invite them to the bloody wedding! :BS I wonder if I'll get the "guest" on the invite too, because I'm not married to the best man....seriously WTF is that?!

I had, pre-inpiggery, got on fairly well with BIL/SIL to be, but they seem to have had their normal personalities replaced by fucking morons with no common sense. That's what having a brat does to sane people? I could kinda understand their stance on things if they were religious traditionalists or something but they're not religious at all. If you.live together for 9 years without bothering with marriage, that says to me you don't attach that much significance to it, but all of a sudden, because she's baking a loaf, it matters?

On the upside though, seeing as I'm being put in my place in the pecking order, I can definitely not feel an ounce of obligation to spend any time with or put any effort into the new brat,.and if they dare complain about lack of homage being paid, then out will come yummy's big guns

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yummynotmummy


larious

That really is awesome. If they do get the chocolate fountain, I know what to slip in it!

Kim, I take my hat off to you, some truly entitled twuntery there. I can't believe the front of someone who would actually expect someone to host a shower and do all that work and then not invite them to the bloody wedding! :BS I wonder if I'll get the "guest" on the invite too, because I'm not married to the best man....seriously WTF is that?!

I had, pre-inpiggery, got on fairly well with BIL/SIL to be, but they seem to have had their normal personalities replaced by fucking morons with no common sense. That's what having a brat does to sane people? I could kinda understand their stance on things if they were religious traditionalists or something but they're not religious at all. If you.live together for 9 years without bothering with marriage, that says to me you don't attach that much significance to it, but all of a sudden, because she's baking a loaf, it matters?

On the upside though, seeing as I'm being put in my place in the pecking order, I can definitely not feel an ounce of obligation to spend any time with or put any effort into the new brat,.and if they dare complain about lack of homage being paid, then out will come yummy's big guns

Got along well with the golden cow and og pre-inpiggery and they turned into nasty entitled assholes when I refused to be a free nanny and meat based atm for their golden parasite. Your BiL and SiL will get worse as the pignancy progresses and the royal calving occurs. Best thing to do is sever all ties with them now. Even if it means distancing yourself from OH's family as well. Been there and distancing myself from beings with shared DNA is the smartest thing I've done. I'm severing all ties when my grandmother passes.

If you need to vent feel free to PM me.

The stories here are making me feel better about this stuff with the nephew and.....the'pre-inpiggery cow' he just wed.
I was okay with her when he first brought her down here to meet us ... not long after they met. Had them over a few times and she asked me about weddings and gowns and stuff. I shared my opinion and we were getting along pretty well. I knew they didn't have much money and she wanted a small but nice wedding. She couldn't get married in her church because they already lived together (okay.. red flag.. she's borderline fundy) So she rented the good size social room at a big bed and breakfast.
That was when I offered my wedding gift to them. I would take care of the decorations, cake, and organize the food table (it was just kind of an appitizer thing) and do the flowers I have done this many times over the past 30 years and so it would be fun and easy. I offered to do it all for free.
BITCH TURNED IT DOWN!
this was a couple weeks AFTER she and nephew were at our house and talked about having 2 kids. I said 'well don't bring them here till they're house broken.. or in college"
They were serious when they said "Oh, I thought you would help us out an babysit sometimes"
I said 'Hell no!"
So I guess she turned me down because I ... and I quote what she said ...."hate kids and I don't want my little nephews and nieces to be hurt."
WTF????
So now she can't associate with me... or my dh... because we don't like kids.
Talk about a big turn around. She was never a bitch till he put that engagement ring on her finger and then... it was like he opened the floodgates. They moved the wedding up almost a year because.... her 'clock is ticking'.
They still don't have squat and they live in a run down tiny house that they have to share with another couple to make ends meet... and she's trying for the golden crotch nugget.
Yep... crazy breeders... distance yourself........

Oh.. and I didn't even tell you about the wedding invitation. Yes, we did get one after she basically told me that I would not like to come because her nieces and nephews (between 1 and 6) would be there and running around. It came with a registry for Kohls and Target. there was a discount card for Kohls in there and some other courtesy card or something for Target (her mom works at Kohls and her aunt works at Target.. so I guess they got perks) The invite itself was actually cute and tasteful but ... she HAND WROTE on the front of the printed invitation "we are registered at Kohls and Target for your convienience"
Is that tacky or what?
There was the usual little RSVP card in there... so I wrote on it. "I told you that we would not be attending. You already have our gifts... just look around your house" (I made them curtains, framed some pictures, shampooed the carpets and gave them a chair for the livingroom... and lots of pots, pans, utencils and such for their kitchen. They got them all over the past 6 months) And then....in order to be as tacky as them.... I returned the discount cards. LOL
So now she won't speak to either of us. Nephew talks to dh... but...that's it. Knowing that nephew was 'on the fence' about having kids only about a year ago....... we are now taking bets on the divorce date.

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addiea raine
I vote you take a giant crap and send it to her in a box. Or if you really want to show appreciation of her kindness to and to OH mother's OH...do what I did to the guards here who decided to help themselves to candy I had in a locked desk in a locked and secured room. I bought the Haribo Satan's Little Helper Bears that were mentioned on here. I then took dipping chocolate and melted chocolate exlax in it. I coated the bears, left them in a baggie that had a note on it claiming they were a gift from a girl whose wedding I attended. Left them here over Easter weekend. Let's just say I've never had a problem since and the best part? They can tell no one or even cry about because then they would have to admit to stealing in a restricted space

I'm sure the "honeymoon" will be made of fond toilet memories after.

I cannot stop laughing about this. Genius. :beer

You know, my theory is that these "bridezillas" and entitlemoos were bitches to begin with, and tried to be decent to make a good impression on their SO's family, but when an "important" event rolls around they're ready to stick their hand out for favors and accommodations and their true personalities come out when their demands aren't met. Fuck them; you don't need to waste your energy trying to be friends.

It seems I am not alone in this then.....every famblee seems to have its entitlefucks, it's just that marriage and sprogging is a legitimate reason to let it all hang out.

The one thing I will say is that OHs parents are not buying into it....MIL told them they were being excessive over the tradition thing. Her partner's son got married last year,and even though she isn't married to the guy's dad he included her in everything. She told me she thinks it's just an excuse to have fewer people at the events because they're tight with money!

Yeah, the Bridezilla I had to deal with always had this princess streak, but it was ramped up to 11 once that engagement ring was on her finger. She's now finding herself not invited to group gatherings because she would center it around herself and never contribute, instead expecting everybody to cater to her.

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kidlesskim
Dress Code for Guests of the Wedding
On the invitation to the wedding of one of my cousins they listed a specific dress codes for guests. Women:Formal gown attire with white gloves. Men:Black and white Tuxedo. I am sorry, but WHO dictates what their wedding guests fucking wear to the church?

Dress codes are pretty common here in the UK, but only as a guide so people don't end up overdressed or underdressed and feel stupid when they arrive. The last one I went to had "glamorous and colourful, like the hosts" as the dress code and that was perfect, but "formal gown and tuxedo"? they may as well have written "EXPENSIVE". I remember reading about David and Victoria Beckham hosting a party where the dress code was Gucci and I think every guest also had to wear at least one diamond somewhere. When dress codes are like this they seem like a way of pricing poorer guests out, and both snobbish AND tacky at the same time.

The weirdest wedding thing for me is people who get desperate to go to weddings despite not knowing either the bride or groom. When one of my best and oldest friends got married about five years ago a now-ex friend said "Ooooh, we can buy our dresses together!" When I asked her "Do you have an invite?" she said "Well no, but surely you've got a plus-one?" When I told her no, it's a wedding, not a club night, she said "But surely he's expecting you to bring a partner? We could pretend I'm your girlfriend!" I told her that I wasn't prepared to pretend to a good friend that I'd gone lesbian just so someone he didn't know could get some free food and drink at his expense. She asked if I could ask him for an extra invite and I told her that was the very height of bad manners, but that still didn't get the message through- every time I saw her after that she'd say "...so, have you asked him about that extra invite yet?" In the end I just stopped hanging out with her. She didn't even know any of the other guests, she would have been bored stiff! What is it with these people?

Well, I just recently got married, and my guests could wear whatever they wanted. Everyone dressed very appropriately, and looked very nice.

I also told my guests that they needn't give us a thing, as we had everything we needed. We ended up receiving money, and I sent everyone a thank you card and phoned them personally to thank them too.

I would have never wanted to be a bridezilla, because I would have dreaded my guests hating my guts.

The only thing I got a bit bridezilla about was that there were NO kyds invited, only a few close ADULT famblee members.

Everything went perfectly, and it was a great time for all.

I don't understand these people who are rude about weddings. I just don't get how people can turn a nice occasion into an absolute nightmare for their guests. Who the fuck thinks they're so goddamned special, to leave key people off the guest list, or expect the guests to wear fucking GUCCI? That's asking waaayyy too much, and had I been invited to a wedding like that, I would have definitely declined.

To be fair the party I mentioned above wasn't a wedding, but asking people to wear Gucci and only Gucci is still trashy as hell.

I don't mind reasonable dress codes- the last wedding I went to was a gay wedding, of two very fun and glamorous men, and with everyone wearing bright colours it looked amazing- and with all the glamour the drag queen fitted right in. Gift lists are another thing though- I find the idea a bit tacky by being so damn cheeky. The wedding I mentioned above had a gift list and I was happy to buy an expensive gift as they spent a fortune on ensuring everyone had a great time, plus they were careful to include a range of gifts including some cheap and cheerful things, knowing that not everyone there would be able to afford anything pricier. Before that there was another one where the do was for about ten guests- just close family, the bridesmaids and best man- and everyone else was just invited to the reception, and we were all still expected to get a gift from a list of very expensive things. The day before I logged in to the gift list site to see what other people had bought and was relieved to see hardly anyone had bothered.

I couldn't imagine writing a gift list myself, I would feel a bit too cheeky- then again I don't like the idea of getting married either, planning a wedding sounds like a nightmare, especially when so many family, friends and hangers-on try so hard to throw a spanner in the works.

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screaming sausage
To be fair the party I mentioned above wasn't a wedding, but asking people to wear Gucci and only Gucci is still trashy as hell.

.

Sorry, I misread that little bit. :redface

Agreed, still trashy!