I need some good ideas! Baby crap in common areas

Somehow it renews my faith in humankind that such a product as Liquid Ass exists.:GOMIIMOG That sounds like an excellent idea for the stroller menace!

It takes a child to raze a village.

Quote
cj
Somehow it renews my faith in humankind that such a product as Liquid Ass exists.

I thought the exact same thing when I found out about this wonderful product! The one I've ordered is called Tex-Ass, it starts off by smelling like a bbq but then the smell turns into that of putrid ass! :satan

These breeders are so fucking stupid it's beyond insane. So I asked them not to leave their kindercrap in the hallway, I contacted the building manager who then put up a notice regarding the matter and today there was a second notice in the middle of the hallway which I took off and tacked back on right above the breeder's assorted kyddie goodies because it only pertains to them, nobody else leaves their stuff outside. A second notice and they still don't get it? :drool

OMG, Liquid Ass. You know that because of this thread, "Liquid Ass" will be "trending" on Yahoo.

I've heard fox urine (hunters use it, supposedly you can get it at hunting/outdoors kinda places) is atrocious and the smell never goes away. I was tempted to perpetrate some evil using the stuff, but thought better of it.

Quote
the noodler
OMG, Liquid Ass. You know that because of this thread, "Liquid Ass" will be "trending" on Yahoo.

I've heard fox urine (hunters use it, supposedly you can get it at hunting/outdoors kinda places) is atrocious and the smell never goes away. I was tempted to perpetrate some evil using the stuff, but thought better of it.

I think our community is too 'nichey' to kick off a trend, but if it came to that I'd want shares in Liquid Ass! :GOMIIMOG

No-one will ever know since it's not forbidden to have a flatulence problem. Maybe I just enjoy farting in the hallway, maybe that's my hobby...:biggrin2

By all means please keep us updated on all of this.

And be sure to SOAK those strollers with LA.

Put some LA on their door area too, and the carpet in front of it.

Then you can complain to management that the breeder's strollers are not only still in the hallway, but that they are polluting it with their disgusting smell.

~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my little feather baby.

Yeah, keep us updated! I'd love to know what happens with the stupid Hugh Jass stroller.

My experience has been that property managers are slow to fine lazy parents for leaving their shit all over. They give tons of "warnings" before even doing something like leaving a written reprimand.

When the spouse and I had similar problems with downstairs neighbor kids leaving their scooters, bikes, and toys all over, we started just scooping up their stuff and either putting it wherever the hell we wanted (dumpster enclosure, far side of the parking lot, in the bushes, etc) or just throwing some of it the hell out. We'd spoken to the neighbors about it twice, management was too "nice" about it, so we took matters into our own hands.

Another tactic: list the stroller in the "free" section of your local Craigslist.

Please keep us updated, have a breeder that leaves the massive SMooV outside the building, so far I haven't seen it inside.

In my building the breeders think it's a great idea to flush diapers, and at least once a month I get an emergency call from the main office saying they're turning off the water for a plumbing emergency. Emergency plumber calls aren't cheap and shocker our condo fees are going up again. The property manager's solution is to put up signs telling people to only put toilet paper in the toilet. My suggestion that the property manager follow the HOA rules and charge the people who cause the plumbing emergency the cost of the emergency call. Can't do that they have kyds and can't afford it.

We're stuck here until Takeo retires. Putting away money to buy our future Childfree retirement compound.

I am evil. I'd be tempted to obtain some snot from the mid-western virus encrusted kids. Then spread it in the infant module of that stroller.:satan Fight fire with fire.

Quote
barren4ever
I am evil. I'd be tempted to obtain some snot from the mid-western virus encrusted kids. Then spread it in the infant module of that stroller.:satan Fight fire with fire.

Not a bad idea either. I am evil too so if I had free rein to do anything I wanted I would do many many outrageous things, believe me! In this situation however it's better to stay cool, calm and collected,
I am still waiting for my Tex-Ass delivery, so as soon as I get it I'll start spraying. Like I said, it's not forbidden to have a flatulence problem and like someone stated in a previous post, I can then complain that the reason for the bad smell is that people leave their stuff in the hallway....

Breeders are small-minded and superstitious, so I'd put an Ouija board in the seat to frighten them.

BTW, I found this grave site memorial stroller on eBay. Is this tacky or what?

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Gee, wouldn't it be a shame if a family of rats chewed through the seat of that stroller and made themselves a nest, complete with rat droppings and urine? Or how frightening for Moo to come out and find a giant spider web strung across the arms of her pweshus bay-bee stroller!

As funny as that would be; I suppose a pest problem in the building would affect the other tenants as well as the breeder. And that wouldn't be fair to punish them...

is there a staircase? shove that shit right down it. Make sure there's noone in the staircase (around 3am or so) and then just shove it. Although it probably wouldnt work now because they know you have asked them to put it away. Even though.. Liquid Ass fixes all social problems.. so I vote you put Liquid Ass all over that shit.

I would (gonna have fun here):

-Put a small box of condoms in the seat.
-Slather the thing in motor oil.
-Pour "just about to go sour" milk on it (noone would question it, theyre breeders!).
-Shit of any kind.
-Take a high grade bike lock and loop it through the spokes on the pram tires.
-Oil and flour and coffee to look like vomit.
-Make a hastily made wicker doll in the seat (scares stupid breeders every time).
-Take one tire off of it.
-Get em in some REAL trouble and pour cheap beer or alcohol all over the fabric.
-Glue doll heads on it.
-Ash tray. 'Nuff said.
-A copy of "A Modest Proposal" in the seat.
-If you REALLY want to be creepy, go with the horror trope of baby pictures with eyes cut out. Because that would make ME move out.
-Put a detergent pod on it to let them know you mean business.
-I once sewed a bike to the floor of my apartment building by using same color thread and the fabric of the carpet. This could forfeit their deposit if done well enough.
-Tape a calmly worded "notice" to their door saying that you are tired of their GODDAMNED BRAT WAGON being in the way.
-Skip the formalities and just stuff fibreglass into the seat.
-Learn their schedule and put superglue on the bottom of the seat and glue the brat into it or even on the grips so mommy will never leave baby alone again. LOL! But wait until winter when everyone is wearing gloves so noone gets really hurt.
-Cuff a pair of furry handcuffs with a VERY large dildo attached, like "Great American Challenge" size dildo.
-Glue dildos on it and paint "Baby's First Dickwagon" on the side as an added bonus.

I could do this all day.

Buy a Chucky doll and superglue it to the seat.
Cover a tampon or pad in red dye and leave it there.

I am excited to hear how the Liquid Ass works out.

sand in the wheel bearings or in the wheel axle meeting area.

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

A product called Liquid Ass exists? Seriously? Where can I get some of this liquid gold?!

Quote
yummynotmummy
A product called Liquid Ass exists? Seriously? Where can I get some of this liquid gold?!

http://www.liquidass.com/


RETAILER MAP: (interactive)
http://www.liquidass.com/retail.html

(Retailers marked on map with butt)

Quote
yummynotmummy
A product called Liquid Ass exists? Seriously? Where can I get some of this liquid gold?!

Ebay!

My dear friends! I am here to update!

So, I recall posting that building management put up notices by the elevators and in the hallway proper, they were all taken down by the breeders. I called the manager's office again and complained. I got a call back from them today saying they'd put up more notices. This time, I will do this: I will xerox each notice x100 so if the breeders take the notice down, I will put a new one up, and like this ad infinitum.

And lo and behold, I got my Liquid Ass today! :GOMIIMOG
I sprayed some in the hallway and fled into the apartment because the stink was just so gross! Even though I am suffering from a bit of a cold and a blocked nose I could still smell it. However i have the feeling it wears off pretty quickly so I'll need to keep spraying more often. So far the stroller is still there, but I'm not giving up. :biggrin2

Chocolate syrup looks like dried blood.

Mix burgundy craft paint with corn syrup, dump all over stroller and put some animal fur in it for good measure with candles surrounding it.

Get sidewalk chalk, draw arrows and write "ASSHOLE PARKING" towards the stroller.

Using the craft paint mix, slash the stroller, it'll look like Jack the Ripper was there. Put animal fur (brush your cat to get some of her fur) in it for good measure. Breeders will think it's a rabid animal.

As suggested use, use fox urine (doe estrus urine works too, that shit STINKS!!!!!) and pour cheap liquor/beer/alcohol (PBR, Boone's Farm, Olde English or Mad Dog 40/40) all over it.

If you have friends who smoke, get their ashtray contents and dump it all over the stroller.

Let bread/food go moldy/rotten and put that in it. Bonus points if it's rancid meat, it STINKS and attracts flies, which turns into maggots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

I can't believe how much suspense I'm in over a stranger's apartment building drama. smile

If they take down the notice again, I would throw like 100 copies under their door and leave another huge stack in the stroller.

Get a needle-less syringe (just in case, it's not the kyds fault the parunts are douches), let some red food dye dry in it and leave on seat.

Please do the condoms on the seat, I want to know what their reaction is.

I would like to know if my Pampers and dog doo idea works too. Remember, we people without the kids can afford to buy a few of those things and we don't need the thousands that breeders need so we will never experience "diaper need". I just saw another article about diaper need in today's Pgh paper.

Usually for cars but it would work here too.

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

I like the idea of making it look like a rat or mouse is building a nest in the thing. You can get chewed up pieces of paper and stuff, and something that looks like rodent pellets. When I was cleaning the oven and around the stove burners the grease balled up and looked rat crap. Once a rodent gets the idea of finding a good nesting spot, it doesn't give up.

Making copies of the notice is an excellent idea. Leave one in the stroller every time they leave the damn thing there. And call/e-mail/text management EVERY SINGLE TIME it's left there.

Other options: start emptying your pockets into the stroller every time you walk by. Trash, bits of paper, pocket lint, candy wrappers...as long as it's not identifable, it can go in the receptacle they so kindly left you.


If it's a baby jogger type: they want it in the hall? It can fucking stay in the hall for good! Thread some chain/cable through the big wheels and LOCK THAT MUTHA so that they can't use it.