F* you Prudie, this isn't a Diane Keaton movie

And "screw you" again for adding to the misnomer that childfree people are heartless and baby haters.

1 - the dying sister is "begging" her elder sibling to adopt the child. If she has a "difficult" personality, as the LW states, I can just imagine the conversation that would occur if Older Sister turns her down but offers to help facilitate finding a new home.

2 - you decide to have a kid (apparently from a sperm donor or other means in which the father is not involved), it's up to you to develop a network of people you can turn to. Again, if you are a "difficult" person and keep people at arm's length, that's on you

3 - the mother was 42 and in the thrall of baby rabies. she decided to take the risk (like Elisabeth Edwards) and suffered the consequences. again, something she should have taken into account up front, and planned for the repercussions.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around what I would do if *I* was faced with the same thing - and I like my sisters. I absolutely, resolutely, 100% would not take the kid. I couldn't see how my sisters would think that a good idea. They'd be idiots to even consider handing their child over to someone who doesn't like kids. Yet, this dying woman would rather see her child go to someone like that rather than find a truly loving home for the kid?

And there's really nothing that the NY woman can do, that her sister can't at this point. A lawyer, social services, and a hospice - they are the ones who will best take the reigns in this matter, and are just a phone call away.

Yes, it would be wonderful if Older Sibling could step in and be a support person to the dying sister, but blood /= family. It appears that they aren't close, perhaps don't even get along; Older Sister clearly does not want to be involved. And that doesn't make her an evil person.

Quote

Dear Prudie
I’m a 56-year-old single professional woman in Manhattan who is childless by choice. I have a great job, travel a week or two a month, primarily to Europe, and love taking advantage of all the cultural opportunities New York offers. My 45-year-old sister, my only sibling, desperately wanted children. She took massive doses of hormones and has a daughter who is now 3 years old. They live in a small city in the Great Plains and I have seen my niece only twice: once at her christening and once for Christmas last year. Like Elizabeth Edwards and so many others who gave birth late (do these women truly understand the risks?), my sister developed breast cancer. She likely has only a few months to live. My sister is now begging me to adopt her child. She has a difficult personality and does not make friends easily, nor is she close to other relatives. I find children fairly irritating. Moving a 3-year-old who just lost her mother to New York and trying to fit her into my well-established life seems impossible. I think my sister should contact her church or local social services agency, maybe even the press. Once the word gets out that this (presumably) adorable little girl needs a good home, people will respond and my sister can help pick her daughter’s new parents. Do you have any other suggestions? I don’t want to seem insensitive but there’s just no way I can take on this responsibility.

—Not a Mother

Dear Not,
I’d rather not imagine what you sound like when you do want to seem insensitive. You’ve managed to blame your sister for her breast cancer, and even though you actually flew out for a second gander at your niece last winter, you’re not willing to go on the record that she’s adorable. How odd to think that the many strangers who read your letter will have a more powerful emotional response about this soon-to-be orphaned little girl than you do. I agree with you that it would be madness, and cruelty, for someone so lacking empathy to take in this child. I also believe that relatives who for whatever reason (age, health, professional commitments, financial stress) feel unequipped to raise a relative’s child should not be shamed into doing so. But surely, given the exigencies here, you can put your cultural activities on hold and find the time to help place your niece in a loving home. Dying takes up a great deal of bandwidth, so your sister desperately needs someone to oversee this agonizing process. You can start by reading this guide to private adoptions. Then you should contact a reputable adoption attorney or adoption agency in your sister’s state to get the process going. Take some vacation and fly out to help your dying sister vet the potential parents. If you open your heart even for this short time, you will feel a sense of satisfaction and comfort knowing that though your sister won’t be able to raise her little girl, you helped find your niece a home where she is loved and cherished.

—Prudie

Oh STFU Prudie, and cut the moral pontification from your cunt-y response. (And we know you read here.)

I do wonder if this letter is fake and whether its purpose was to get Prudie's goat. It certainly succeeded.

And nobody wants to admit it, but having large amounts of hormones in your body isn't good at any age, even worse in one's 40's. Now uber Breeder Joan London has breast cancer too.

This woman is 56 years old. Even if she were younger, she chose not to have kids for a reason.

Yes, she could try and place the child, but the Breeder should have had a backup plan prior to spawning. Social services and adoption agencies can pick up the slack.

Just because she is "fambilee," it doesn't mean she should be shamed into taking a child she doesn't want.

Fuck you indeed, Prudie.

She doesn't owe empathy to anyone. Besides, she only saw her niece twice, why would she have to engage with a kid she barely knows? Because she was shat out by LW's sibling, with whom LW doesn't even seem to get along?

I have a 9 y.o. sister. Should both of my parents die, one of my other relatives would have to be her legal guardian, although I would most likely send some money to help cover her expenses. I never signed up for caring for a crotch dumpling and my family knows that. Luckily, my family is fairly big and very breederific, so there's virtually no chance of her going to an orphanage/foster home.

I don't have low self-esteem. That's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.
-Daria

Quote
bell_flower
I do wonder if this letter is fake and whether its purpose was to get Prudie's goat. It certainly succeeded.

It's definitely *click* bait. One would wonder, seeing that Slate is starting up a pay option....

Prudie offers decent advice most of the time, but when it comes to issues with subjects like childfree, she turns into Dr. Phil.

Why is it never an option for family members with children to take in the children of their siblings/cousins/relatives? You would think that those with children, who are supposed to be more caring/understanding because they are parents, would not want to see their own family members going into foster care or non-family adoptive homes. I wonder if all the children in foster care in this country have absolutely no extended family that could take them?

My mom and her siblings grew up in a state home. They had many aunts and uncles that could have cared for them (like 16+ different family units). None of them tried to help because they all had their "own" kids they had to care for, and we all know having your "own" kids gets parents out of just about every type of responsibility, moral, financial, whatever.

Prudie is just another typical breeder cunt. Maybe Prudie should try to get in touch with this lady and see if she can adopt the sister's "adorable" child. But, no, that's not an option, because Prudie has kids of her own. CF people don't understand? Yeah, right.

There should be a name for this type of situation.

Maybe "The African Painted Dogs Syndrome" - Parents yell for help for their child or a child but are unwilling to do anything to aid the child themselves.

If I were in this woman's situation, I would NOT be writing to Prudie, who is obviously a breeder herself.

I definitely would not take in anyone's kyds myself. Why should a CF person be saddled with someone else's kyds? We have made a conscious, deliberate choice NOT to have kyds so it is unfair to expect us to care for them if something goes wrong. ITA that breeders should take in other breeders' kyds. Of course, we all know how self-centered breeders can be, as they only care for their own replicants. They don't give two fucks about anyone else's chyldruns.

Also, I believe it is this woman's fault that she is dying, because she had fertility treatments that are an obvious cause of cancer. She should have factored that in before undergoing this treatment. Now her kyd has to be adopted to someone else. This is why I believe IVF and all fertility treatments should be universally banned.

’d rather not imagine what you sound like when you do want to seem insensitive. Judgmental much? You’ve managed to blame your sister for her breast cancer, Well massive doses of hormones seem to have a pretty strong link. Look around at the uberbreeders. I don't know any CF who had breast cancer. and even though you actually flew out for a second gander at your niece last winter, you’re not willing to go on the record that she’s adorable. Flew out for Christmas is not necessarily to gander at the jizzdumpling How odd to think that the many strangers who read your letter will have a more powerful emotional response about this soon-to-be orphaned little girl than you do. I agree with you that it would be madness, and cruelty, for someone so lacking empathy to take in this child. I also believe that relatives who for whatever reason (age, health, professional commitments, financial stress) feel unequipped to raise a relative’s child should not be shamed into doing so. Ummm, you just tried to do precisely that in the last two sentences. But surely, given the exigencies here, you can put your cultural activities on hold and find the time to help place your niece in a loving home. So mommy shirks her responsibilities and the onus is on LW? Don't think so. Dying takes up a great deal of bandwidth, so your sister desperately needs someone to oversee this agonizing process. Hospice and a lawyer. Nuff said. You can start by reading this guide to private adoptions. Then you should contact a reputable adoption attorney or adoption agency in your sister’s state to get the process going. Once again, isn't that the parent's responsibility, dying or not? Take some vacation and fly out to help your dying sister vet the potential parents. If you open your heart even for this short time, you will feel a sense of satisfaction and comfort knowing that though your sister won’t be able to raise her little girl, you helped find your niece a home where she is loved and cherished.

Sorry, Prudie, you dropped the ball on this one. I have plans in my will for my PETS! This baby rabid woman did not plan on what to do with the desperately wanted kid she haaaad to haaaave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Quote
emmaj
Why is it never an option for family members with children to take in the children of their siblings/cousins/relatives? You would think that those with children, who are supposed to be more caring/understanding because they are parents, would not want to see their own family members going into foster care or non-family adoptive homes. I wonder if all the children in foster care in this country have absolutely no extended family that could take them?

They probably figure that the childfree or childless relatives have more money and can use all their thousands and thousands of extra income to ensure Junior has the best life and has everything s/he could ever want. Also because the child would be the center of attention, as opposed to going to a childed family where it will have to share attention with the other kids. And I guess there's the risk that dumping Junior on Aunt Darlene and her three brats would result in Darlene's bio-kids being treated better than Junior.

Still, it's fucking stupid to expect a CF woman to adopt a kid. It sucks the sister is dying, but I have a feeling the breast cancer was not a coincidence and it was her quest for a loaf that was the first, middle and final nails in her coffin. First of all, I don't think Manhattan is a great place for a child to live. Obviously this lady has a busy, fast-paced life and there's no room in her schedule for brat-wrangling. Also, she might be retiring soon. By the time the kid can leave home, the writer will be 71 or 72. If she wanted to have fuckin' kids, she'd have had fuckin' kids before.

Not wanting to take in your niece isn't heartless or mean. This woman knows that since she doesn't even like the kid and never wanted kids, she wouldn't make a good mother at all. So is it better for the little kid - who already has to deal with the death of her mother - to be shoved into a home with someone who doesn't want them, or for a little more effort to be spent finding the kid a home where she would be wanted? If Moo-sister has no one else to hand the kid over to, that's her fuckin' fault.

Yes, help her find a good home for the girl, but the CF sister is under no obligation to do shit she doesn't want to do because faaaaaaamily. I would never take in a kid if relatives or friends asked me to either, I don't care how close we are. Very little is worse than being raised by someone who obviously doesn't want you.

CFsister could find the lawyer/hospice/adoption agency for BreederSister if she was feeling charitable. All of that could be done by phone & laptop at whatever desk has Internet. However, CFsister is under NO obligation. Bratlet is NOT a CF problem.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

CF sister should just ignore the whole problem. It's not her problem. She wasn't the irresponsible and selfish one and whatever happens to the kid next is neither her fault nor her responsibility. There is no need for her to be involved at all. Let the mom sort out her own mess.

CF Lady would be SEVENTY-ONE by the time that Wittle Pwecious is off to college on CF Lady's dime**.

Then, entitled Wittle Pwecious would probably move back in when CF Lady is SEVENTY-FIVE and would proceed to sit around the house sucking CF Lady's retirement fund dry while whining that the only jobs available in NYC require actual hard work.

All-in-all CF Lady would probably be over EIGHTY by the time WP finds the sperm-donor who will give her the SAHM Lifestyle She DeservesTM.

Massive Gigantic All Around

Anyone who thinks that a seventy year old should be forced to care for a teenager is a sadist.

** If moo can't be bothered to include a clause in her will about who gets the kid when she kicks off, she undoubtedly isn't going to be leaving any cash for its fyooture either down

Anyone who breeds after age 35, especially via IVF or other artificial means, is a selfish cunt. Even if the cancer was not caused by the hormones, YOU'RE OLD AS FUCK (reproductively speaking) and at risk for all kinds of age-related diseases that could take you from your kid at any moment. The least you could do is have a sturdy plan in place in case that happens. Way to think of your toddler's future.

Maybe I missed something, but where is the father? (Or was the loaf a test tube baybeh?) It's not nice to try and outsmart Mother Nature by having kids well after age 40 by artificial means. Any doctor who engages in this damaging practice should be liable for whatever tragic outcome occurs.

If Dear Prudie is so outraged, maybe she should adopt the orphan loaf herself.

For the dying breeder sister, this seems to involve the following:

1. CF sis will simply love the loaf once she gets it. (That is, similar "reasoning" to oopsing a man who doesn't want children. He'll love it when it's here...)

2. CF sis has loads of money (at least by my standards), a great lifestyle, and lives in a cool place. She'll be able to raise the child well there.

3. CF sis has the aforementioned great lifestyle. I wanna make sure I fuck it up.

4. I'm entitled and it's my way or the highway. (I'm "difficult", after all.)

So, CF sis, won't you adopt my kyd?

Quote
trance formation usa
Anyone who breeds after age 35, especially via IVF or other artificial means, is a selfish cunt. Even if the cancer was not caused by the hormones, YOU'RE OLD AS FUCK (reproductively speaking) and at risk for all kinds of age-related diseases that could take you from your kid at any moment. The least you could do is have a sturdy plan in place in case that happens. Way to think of your toddler's future.

Maybe I missed something, but where is the father? (Or was the loaf a test tube baybeh?) It's not nice to try and outsmart Mother Nature by having kids well after age 40 by artificial means. Any doctor who engages in this damaging practice should be liable for whatever tragic outcome occurs.

If Dear Prudie is so outraged, maybe she should adopt the orphan loaf herself.

THIS THIS THIS

It's a wonder the kid isn't a fucking tard frankenbaby.

~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my little feather baby.

Any responsible parent…especially at that woman's age…would have a plan in place in case something were to happen. This is EXACTLY the situation those types of plans are for!

I agree IF the sister was feeling generous she could contact a lawyer, though she is under no obligation to do so. She didn't choose for the kyd to be brought into the world; it's not her responsibility. Not to mention, she's 11 years older than the sister. Maybe she wants to retire before 80. Or maybe she doesn't want to upset her lifestyle for a kyd. Or maybe she just doesn't fucking love children. Whatever the case…it's not her kyd, not her responsibility.

Hey, give up your retirement and raise a child you don't want well into your elderly years. What a deal!

I hate the obvious guilt-tripping that somebody needs to clean up dying moo's mess, especially somebody that has been estranged. I'm sorry that cancer is making Moo too weak to handle business, but she has no choice. She was the one who decided to pump herself full of carcinogens to have a baby so she needs to take the steps to ensure that her child will end up in a home where she'll be safe and loved. Moo's entire plan is dump the toddler onto Older Sis and that's it. Like the child isn't going to grow to realize that she was completely unwanted by Older Sister and was just unceremoniously dumped onto her.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

Quote
"Not a mother"
I’m a 56-year-old single professional woman in Manhattan who is childless by choice. I have a great job, travel a week or two a month, primarily to Europe, and love taking advantage of all the cultural opportunities New York offers.

The writer's mistake (other than writing to Prudie in the first place) was offering up all this irrelevant information. The fact that she's single, professional, travels, and loves living in NYC has FUCK ALL to do with the situation, but I think that Prudie homed in on that and tried to paint her as a selfish CF person. fuck

The dying sister is obviously looking for the easiest way for HER to offload her kid before she dies. It's easy for us to say, but it is NOT her responsibility to take this child in OR even to help find a new home for her. The mother needs to get a social worker and lawyer involved, which her doctor's office should be able to help her do.

Prudie's response has me seeing red. How DARE she talk to the writer this way and pass judgment on her lifestyle and situation like this?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan

Agree with all the thoughts here.

Most of my relatives are older and their kids are 'grown'. So I feel I don't have to worry about someone trying to stick me with one.

Try this hypothetical: Someone wants to give me a dog, or is trying to pitch fostering dogs to me. And I *like dogs* and had them in the past.

But.

I only have a small yard here. And while say 70% of the time I keep pretty regular hours - other times my schedule goes wonky. I used to travel for biz alot in the past - not lately because I was hit with serious illness. So others did the traveling. But now I am well and this may resume.

I have forgotten how to care for dogs too. I also live in a quiet area and barking dogs - will piss off my neighbors.

Would anyone recommend I get a dog? And again - I LOVE DOGS! I *would* want one - but I don't feel I could take proper care - at this time.

I know there are plenty of pet people on here and I do read 'The Yard' too! Don't comment there much since I have no pets. I can see how much work it is, and remember from my past pets, and I will guess that the Pet People here would say - NO. Not a good time for you right now. I think the same.

And you know what the Pro People Breeding ilk would say - the polite ones would say - NO, don't get a dog or try to foster - let someone who can do a better job of it do it. The nasty ones would say - who cares about dogs? Why don't you have kids?

You KNOW that's what they'd say.

Substitute kids for dogs? They'll throw their own advice right out the window and berate you for being ill equipped. Why? These are also the same people who are the first to shout about removing a child from a sitch where the parents denied them a candy bar or something. The HORROR! Call CPS RIGHT NOW!

Speaking of work - let me boil this down to the current economic paradigm. I mean - Exploitative Capitalism: FAMBLEE has to take the kid and support it - GOD FORBID! It goes on the welfare rolls which might increase the Fat Cat's taxes! Eg - Socialize Costs, Privatize Profits. Externalize the cost of the kid onto ANYBODY but US!

There is also hidden breeding Propaganda alluded to here - those with the means SHOULD support the future consumers. This is basically what it boils down to- If you have the money to support kids you SHOULD have them.

Prudie is a shill for the Fat Cats. There's money in Propagandizin!

She lectures others? She's a SELL OUT. Gotta grub for money like that? I will bet she's got plenty of un published novels lying around.

This would be like CF us taking writing assignments extolling the joys of fambllee life. I would never grub for money like that, how crass. If I couldn't get work for some reason - I'd go to scrubbing toilets before I'd compromise my principles. Some people DO have integrity and ethics! I do. I and mine (biz partners) *refuse* to do biz with anyone un ethical. No exploiters, no polluters, no gov entities. Period. No matter how much money is offered. We have principles and in fact this is one of our selling points - and yes indeed it does attract clients. Those with integrity, anyway.

Fuck this money grubbing Cow who's gone to shilling for the Fascist Overlords. Yeah, I hope you realize that they gain far more than the crumbs they throw you.

And how do you live with yourself? I can sleep at night. Can you? I can rest easy knowing that I don't harm others, even indirectly by feeding them BULL SHIT.

:BS :BS :BS :BS :BS

And this -

Quote
Bell Flower
Oh STFU Prudie, and cut the moral pontification from your cunt-y response. (And we know you read here.)

Oh, she reads this board does she?

Allow me to impart a short and sweet message to her (with no need to try to look smart by using words like 'exigencies'; nor try to be hip by using words like 'bandwith' to describe non electronic issues ~)

YOU ARE A SELLOUT WHO GRUBS FOR MONEY.

How does that ass taste? Kiss it some more and get back to me.

You're shilling for the very people who would have NO PROBLEM AT ALL wiping you out if it did not suit THEIR purposes.

And if you actually BELIEVE what you're spewing - how many kids have YOU taken in?

Quote
drake

Quote
trance formation usa
Anyone who breeds after age 35, especially via IVF or other artificial means, is a selfish cunt. Even if the cancer was not caused by the hormones, YOU'RE OLD AS FUCK (reproductively speaking) and at risk for all kinds of age-related diseases that could take you from your kid at any moment. The least you could do is have a sturdy plan in place in case that happens. Way to think of your toddler's future.

Maybe I missed something, but where is the father? (Or was the loaf a test tube baybeh?) It's not nice to try and outsmart Mother Nature by having kids well after age 40 by artificial means. Any doctor who engages in this damaging practice should be liable for whatever tragic outcome occurs.

If Dear Prudie is so outraged, maybe she should adopt the orphan loaf herself.

THIS THIS THIS

It's a wonder the kid isn't a fucking tard frankenbaby.

What'cha gonna bet on that? *snicker*

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I may be mistaken, but isn't that what godparents are for? My parents told me this when I was a kid. I then wondered why they chose mom's oldest sister for the role. At three years old, that child is still somewhat fresh enough to easily be adopted. It grates my mind how moo went on to have said girl without making any plans in case things went wrong. We, irresponsible CF pet owners, are more logical and pro-active than parents. Who would have thunk.

Quote
barren4ever
I may be mistaken, but isn't that what godparents are for? My parents told me this when I was a kid. I then wondered why they chose mom's oldest sister for the role. At three years old, that child is still somewhat fresh enough to easily be adopted. It grates my mind how moo went on to have said girl without making any plans in case things went wrong. We, irresponsible CF pet owners, are more logical and pro-active than parents. Who would have thunk.

That's exactly what godparents are for, b4e. I would think Moo would have had her girl christened by now, if only to announce her li'l miracle to the whole church. I still don't get why someone in their 40's suddenly has to get pregnant by any means necessary. It's just asking for trouble, but of course "it won't happen to me." Until it does. The chyld is truly in a bad situation here, but the onus is still on Moo to see that the girl is cared for. CF sister should not have to do the job. Good lord, too many parunts dislike dealing with their own offspring; why should an unchilded relative have to inherit the job if she has no interest in it? Sorry, Prudie, " Because!" is not a good reason.

It takes a child to raze a village.

Read some of the comments, like this poster:

Quote
bitch poster
she sounds like a monster, so I see no reason not to call her out on it so maybe she can at least pretend to be a little empathetic to her sister. She even blamed her for getting breast cancer!

Oh really? So a CF woman who has admittedly gets irritated around kids, and doesn't want one herself, is a MONSTER for refusing to saddle the rest of her life with a niece she doesn't even know?

Quote
follow the money trail
Is there anybody else in your family? Maybe your sister is thinking of you because you have the financial means and they do not. It's maybe you can chip in for the kid and be her distant (in so many ways) auntie.

Here you have it, folks! CF people must always be swimming in pools full of money, so of COURSE we'd want to part with a huge chunk of it to support some kid we don't care about.

Quote
another moron
I don't think it was about not wanting to raise the child. It was about the cold insensitive way she depicted her sister's cancer and prognosis.It sounds as if the younger sister desparately wanted a family and a contributing factor was the fact that she grew up with a self centered sister who seems to resent the fact that she ever had to share anything with another. Don't raise the child, acknowleging the fact that she lacks the requisite skills and empathy necessary to adequately provide a good home life and assist the sister. She can then think of all "I am a glorious person and martyr" stories that she can tell. Bolding is mine

Oh really? self centered, eh? Why? Is it because she is single, a professional with a good job in a dynamic city, who never wanted to spawn? Because she knew herself well, and made a good life for herself that didn't involve giving up her dreams, ambitions? Fuck off asshole.

Quote
????
What about the father of the child. I presume that the kid was made through sperm donor but maybe she can try to find him. We never know maybe if he sees that the child is motherless, he'll be interested in taking her.

CF guys, THIS is a reason why you shouldn't donate, you never know if it will come back to bite you in the ass in the future!

Quote
voice of reason
think Prudie has imbalanced hormones this morning and went off on the wrong letter writer. The woman is in Europe 1/4 of the time, plus, IS CHILDLESS BY CHOICE, why is NOT taking in a kid a bad thing?

Did people ever think that the most likely reason that this woman is in Europe so much is because of her job? That she has to travel all the time because of work? Yeah Prudie, your hormones are showing! larous

Quote
more common sense
Well, here this woman has worked hard all her life to get to a certain place and been pretty clear she does not want children there.
Now, her sister's choice is threatening to destroy *her* life too. I get the anger.

If you google a portion of the LW's letter, you can see that this is being discussed on a lot of other boards, from geek boards to other CF boards.

One of the common themes about this LW, whether on Slate or on other geek boards, is that the CF Manhattanite is a heartless bitch for not taking her sister's kid. One person even said that she should just move the kid to NYC, and hire a nanny to raise the kid. Do you know how much nannies cost here in NYC? Plus, I'll gather that CF lady has a one bedroom apartment. Do these morons posting comments from flyover states know the cost of living around here in NYC? "Opening your home to an orphaned child," (as so many posters across the boards say), is a HUGELY expensive proposition in NYC. It means getting a bigger apartment, 2 bedrooms can rent for $7k/month, depending on the location. Add in the cost of pre-k, the WAITING LISTS for decent pre-k, and other education costs here.

The LW is single, professional, 56 years old. Even if she weren't CF, who in their right mind would want to take in a relative's kid here, and pay all those costs? NYC is a great place to raise a kid (I have friends here with kids, the opportunities are endless), but that was their choice to breed. This woman is being asked to take in a toddler niece she doesn't know, doesn't want, feels nothing for. This kid would ruin her life as she knows it.

If I were the LW, I'd tell my sister the same thing: NO!

Here is the Slate link, and the hilarious comments:

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_i_fantasize_about_hurting_my_toddler_nephew.single.html

There's also some other Prudie letters in there.

Good grief....A moron on another board discussing this letter quite literally cited the aforementioned Diane Keaton movie as "proof" that the 56 year old should take the child.It was NOT a freaking documentary!