Wahhh my adult son doesn't want me telling him how to live his life!

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Tracey Whitestone was visiting her 29-year-old son, Adam (names have been changed), in his new condo. Noticing that he didn't have curtains on the windows, she volunteered to sew some — and was disappointed when he declined her offer.

Then, when his girlfriend waltzed in an hour later with Bed Bath & Beyond shopping bags stuffed with drapes, Tracey almost burst into tears.

“I felt replaced,” she says. “It hurt that my son no longer valued my opinion. I thought he didn’t want me around.”

Read the rest here http://www.nextavenue.org/article/2013-11/what-do-when-your-adult-children-don%E2%80%99t-you

Why does it always surprise these women that their sons are going to grow up and have sex? That they will appreciate the company of the woman who is giving them poon over the woman who used to diaper them? That they will eventually build a life with said woman supplying poon that has nothing to do with momby? Don't they themselves remember when they were poon-woman instead of mommy??? The lack of personal insight always astounds me!

Okay... the bitch is getting all butthurt bc her son didn't want her to sew some curtains (probably bc why the fuck not let the gf, who probably offered, go and just get some at the BB&?

I just really don't see what there is to be so offended about. If I were in the moo's shoes, I'd have been glad not to have to put the effort in, but would've let the offer stand for other future things.

This woman needs to realize that she's not just Little Man's mother - that she was NEVER just Little Man's mother. She's like those crazy bitches whose identities begin and end with their husbands' lives and last names. NEWS FLASH: Children grow up (no thanks to modern "parents," and other people's lives don't revolve around you the way yours has around them.

Maybe he turned down her offer because he knew his girlfriend was out shopping for household items and was going to buy drapes. Or maybe he knows that his mother is a smothering nightmare who would try to take over the decorating of the entire condo if he accepted her offer.

For fuck's sake, a 29 year old who lives on his own does not need his mommy to decorate his condo. Any torment she is feeling as a result of this extremely minor incident is self-inflicted.

My mum sewed me some curtains when I moved into my place on my own after I split up with nutjob ex. I was flat broke so I appreciated it. But I don't think she'd have worried about it if I'd said no. It would have been quicker to buy some but the fact was, it was cheaper to get fabric for her to make them and I had lots of other stuff I needed so I saved money.

Today's moos are so spawn obsessed, I don't know what's wrong with them. Nothing wrong with offering help to your kids, but to get butthurt because they don't want curtains? That's not normal.

People still sew? That moo is way too sensitive. Baby boy can't get his own household goods without mooma, bleh. The guy is almost thirty years old for fucks sake.

Poon aside, baby boy will have actual relationships separate and apart from moomie. He will have private conversations, share things and have experiences with OTHER people. He will make choices and decisions about his own life. Deal with it Moos.

I'll bet the gf got stuff that the guy will actually like, whereas the moo would have made some retarded looking curtains to put up in baby boy's house, maybe something with pirate ships or spiderman. She could always buy him a race car bed.

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alana
Maybe he turned down her offer because he knew his girlfriend was out shopping for household items and was going to buy drapes. Or maybe he knows that his mother is a smothering nightmare who would try to take over the decorating of the entire condo if he accepted her offer.

Kind of like a dog peeing to mark its turf.

Baby Boy might leave home, he might take up a domicile with a poon-woman (:::dies::: larious ), but his Momma will still be in his life and a part of that new home. She'll be there in every loving stitch of those Sponge Bob Square Pants curtains.

When Poon-woman draws the drapes each day to let in the morning sun, SHE will know that Momma loves her Baby Boy in a way that is deeper and more steadfast than any way she can display with her nasty sex and all.

And, of course, those curtains will have attained the status of Heirloom, since so much loving craftsmanship went into them. Baby Boy must keep those curtains and hang them in a room of every home in which he decides to reside.

Tangent: Dh and I are downsizing our crap in view of becoming full-time RVers in a few years. I have a trunk of quilt tops and afghans, given to us by older women in the family. His mother, my mother and grandmother, some stuff from Dh's g-grandmother. Somehow that stuff ended up with us. I was nice (and weak-spined) early in our marriage, when this stuff was given to us as "things to set up in your new home."

It was a nice gesture, but we never used it and none of the other young folks in the family want it. But, because it was handmade by the women in the family, heaven forfend if we give it to Goodwill or yard sale the stuff.

It think we're going to see if one of the nursing homes in the area would like the articles

Scary. Some poor girl will have this woman as mother-in-law!
Alana's explanation is what I had in mind too. This woman made it all about herself.

A line I noticed in the article

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Tracey Whitestone was visiting her 29-year-old son, Adam (names have been changed), in his new condo

Dollars to donuts the woman just appeared on his doorstep. That's something else that parents (especially mothers) have a hard time dealing with: calling ahead to see if they can visit. It's a common complaint over on the DWIL Nation board made by wives. Their mother-in-law (or the mother of their SO if they aren't married) feels free to simply drop in, saying "oh, I was just in the neighborhood." If told that they have to make - you know - the polite gesture of calling ahead, they'll get butthurt and say "you mean I have to make an appointment to visit my own child?!"

It's too bad that humans didn't evolve like other mammals. Once the offspring is fledged and ready to make its own way in the world, they get booted from the nest or burrow and are more or less forgotten. Of course, in nature, this is to make room for next year's baby, but still .... Once someone becomes an adult, they don't need their parents anymore.

This thread reminds me of that terrifying picture book, LOVE YOU FOREVER...

I know someone who turned down her mom's "help" offers when she bought her own place because she knew that any such offers always came with strings attached. She'd found that out the hard way when she rented her first apartment. Her mom used the "help" as ways to keep her attached and as ways to shoehorn herself into her daughter's life. This guy may be turning down the curtains for that reason....if he accepts it, she'll have a foothold in his new place.

The mom needs to get some professional help so she can learn how to relate to her ADULT son without alienating him further.

I'm in a very long relationship and a long marriage. Believe me, Ive seen worse MILs but my MIL is definitiely is some competition w/ me even if she doesnt shove it down my throat every day. "you Look look thin" means Im not cooking for him in the 90s....um...he coulda stand to lose a couple pounds. When I went to grad school, and didnt have children and if we got into a fight, it was because we had 'nothing' in common....umm....we work in the same field and know all the same people....and do the exact same thing....and work 2 blocks from one another.....we enjoy the same stuff after work, except Im more active and my hub is more sedadentary. It is YOU and YOUR daughter he has nothing in common with except growing up in the same home and he married someone almost the polar opposite of his mommy and his sibs. She disagrees w/ every topic I say in front of her, to the point it doesnt make sense or I'm not even "debating" anything. I'm sorry you had a son at 19 and gave up college and I guess you feel stupid next to everyone w/ a degree, but I'm not talking like a professor at Harvard, I'm just talking about normal topics on the news and stuff. Your only job, and personal interest is mothering and shopping.....boring and one dimensional. She does have a close relationship w/ her daughters and g-kids but I think its because she buys their love w/ gifts.

And it angered her that I never accepted too many of her very generous gifts because as you guys said, there were large strings attached. My BIL is divorcing SIL and I know this is one thing he wont miss. He accepted the gifts, because only a fool like me would decline, but MIL was over by his house all the time and she still talked poorly about him. I have a life of my own w/ YOUR son. He only calls her outta guilt, not that he hates her, but when more people at his work say what they are doing w/ their aging moms, he will finally break down and call her. When he was sick, I think she wanted to be THE doting wife at the bedside...it was so desparate and pathetic. When he got sick a 2nd time, we didnt even tell her. Hubs wanted to tell her afterwards, I said, NO, the daily calls would start again, offers to cook, take him out to lunch would start again.....I said dont do it. He didnt and the hospital stay was almost a vacation w/ o her. Too bad moms are the ones who dont grow up. Love your kids but love them like the adults they are suppposed to become....w/ a spouse! Yes, you are replaced I guess. ongue2

Did she really think that the GF wouldnt help her man decorate HIS apt? Really? So, he is supposed to go to mommy first for opinions and any she doesnt cover, go to GF and then act. Of course, maybe the son in partial to the woman he now sleeps w/ and may be in love with? Does she wish the GF is just a fly by night? Because Momhood is forever, wifedom and GFs can be temporary? Get back to your own Identity moo. larious

Here's another take on this. My 29 (at the time) nephew had just gotten his first little house. Didn't have a GF at the time. and he asked ME to do some decorating for him (curtains, and such) His moo lives 1000 miles from him and I only live 100 miles from him. So moo gets allll buthurt because he asked ME to help him fix up his place. So they are jealous of aunts too. Now he's married so... I am totally out of the picture. LOL (no skin off my nose 'cause I prefer to stay away from all of them)

I have trouble understanding how so many Moos, who once set up households with their significant others, can't understand that their grown children are doing the same and take offense at the natural course of things? It boggles the mind. Of course my Moo used rage, name-calling, and threats to try to maintain control of us as adults. I guess because she couldn't sew.

Some parents just don't like their children having much of a life outside of them. They view others as competition and don't want that. It just goes to show how selfish some parents can really be.

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JohnDrake
Some parents just don't like their children having much of a life outside of them. They view others as competition and don't want that. It just goes to show how selfish some parents can really be.

all you guys are so right, it is selfishness, having no life outside of moohood probably b/c they gave up all their friends and only had PTA or soccermom friends which are temporary, the need for control even tho you would think they would be happy to move on to something different. I can't even imagine if I didnt live in the same state w/ someone that they would ask me to help w/ their apt or house, so why would a mom? This generation of moos is as bad as the SAHMs of yesteryear that werent allowed to work or have interests outside domestic life. So sad that after all these decades, somethings never change.

"poon-woman"

LMFAO. Sounds like a Native American term, or maybe a sci-fi term—"The Poon-Woman from Alpha Centauri". But it fits the type of person we're discussing so well.

Freaks me out how some women are over their sons.

Fucking hell, I call my own parents ahead to see if it's ok to drop by - I never just show up. Because it's, you know, polite, respectful etc. We are all adults and we have shit to do, our own lives etc.

Thankfully my inlaws are similar, with regard to respect for privacy etc. In fact I sometimes wish for OH sake they would take a.bit more interest in him and his life etc. Not that they don't love him, they just aren't very demonstrative, they don't really contact him, he has to contact them to catch up. He never bothers to tell them stuff, like when he got promoted, because he says it doesn't mean much to them. I don't tell my folks everything, but if I get published, promoted or whatever then I would tell them and they'd be pleased.

So, you can be too detached as a parent too I reckon. But better that way than Helicopter Moo. I am soooo glad I don't have a MIL or a mother like that.

Because once you're a moo, you're a moo forever!

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Miss_Hannigan
Because once you're a moo, you're a moo forever!

Yes. And they can't wait until the next generation comes along so they can do it all over again

Get outta the way, bitch! You're only the incubator!

My MIL doesnt care about what we do either, she'll talk about it just to make conversation, but she only gets really excited about SILs and g-kids because all their stuff revovles around kids and it is something she can relate to. Besides, if I get promoted or something, then it is a blow to her ego somehow because she is in some competiton w/ me in her head.

My P's were interested again to have a topic of conversation, and are glad I dont work at McDs for the rest of my life, but my dad only cares about things that affect him and how I can spend time stroking his ego as a father.

She should run away.
I suspect the son is a Mama's boy who gets off on watching his moo and his new GFS duke it out for supremacy. He doesn't care as long as somebody cleans his house and does his laundry.
He would prefer a GF cause he can fuck her but will take Mommy doing household chores as a back-up.
Run girl, run. He is a mommy's boy even if not an obvious one.GET OUT NOW!

Well the Moo doesnt say that he let her help all other times or anything like that. She just said he declined. GF came in later w/ curtains. Obviously the curtain situation was already taken care of. We cant hang him just yet. LOL

That's what happens when you give up your entire identity for your kyds. You feel disappointed and empty when they inevitably grow up and "replace" you. It's not like kids are individuals or anything...no. They're possessions. Reflections of yourself. A legacy wrapped in flesh.

Now moo will be forced to get a life/identity of her own. The horror.