Children are just so refreshingly honest!

Here's a little tale from this week you might enjoy.

I will say right up front that I DO hate kids, for the most part, and do everything I can to avoid them whenever I can. I don't apologize for this. I realize that the root of the problem is oftentimes the parents, but sometimes kids are just plain little shits, without any special help.

I live in a foreign country and do some private tutoring from time to time for a little extra pocket change. I WILL NOT teach kids, thanks to past experience in a school full of them, which leaves me with young or older adults who are often excited and motivated to learn English, and I really enjoy teaching and socializing with them. In this case, a close friend of the family asked me to teach her grandson. He's what you call in this country a "hikikomori", or a kid who suddenly drops out of school so he can hide in his room and play video games. Clearly he was either being bullied or doing something that made school uncomfortable enough for him to want to flee. He's 10 years old. Against my better judgement, and because I love my friend, I went ahead and said I'd teach him once a week. Welp, it didn't take until week 4 for this kid to become an obnoxious little turd during lessons, and let off with a fat comment. In fact, it's the only time he has ever addressed me by name. While pointing out that I'm fat. Hurray. Thanks for pointing out the obvious, genius. Aren't they just precious when they do that?

I took it in stride, as I do when I come across shitheads like this. This is a country known for its gratuitous fat-shaming, and though I don't make a habit of surrounding myself with people who are tactless enough to point out the fact that I'm not an anorexic stick like they are (the last person who DID do it was a psychotic manager about 3 years ago), it happens once in a blue moon. I almost laughed, after I finished the lesson and went home, thinking, GEE, I wonder how this little piglet would have felt had I pointed out to him what a cowardly loser he was for running away from school (all while giggling and thinking it was cute), and how he's just following the footsteps of his cowardly loser father who is in the midst of a nervous breakdown and running away from his job to hide at his MAMA's house. Would that honesty have been appreciated? I wonder how many parents would have found it refreshing had I pointed out that pure, innocent truth. If it's good for kyds to do, surely it must be good for adults to do, too, RIGHT?

Little fucker. I did tell my friend about it, and she was mortified. She's going to have a talk with her grandson and his mother (who's actually a really nice lady, and I'd be sad if I couldn't communicate with her anymore over this), and we'll see if I can stop teaching this kid as of next week. He's a nightmare besides, and spends our lessons playing with his 3DS or cutting up sticks of wood with a box cutter. Parents don't seem to care, so if all they want is a babysitter for an hour, hey, I guess I could just give up and play Candy Crush Saga while he fucks around. It's not my job to discipline someone else's kid, and since I live in a foreign country, where I could get into serious trouble for so much as daring to look at a native the wrong way, I don't dare.

OH MY GAWD I HATE THAT!

One time I was at the pool and after shaving my legs at home I missed a spot. A tiny spot. Like a "How would anyone even NOTICE that" spot. This little shit came up to me and laughed in THE shrillest voice that Ive ever heard that "BAWHAWHAW YUR LEGS UR HAIRY". It was a little girl too so I was like "Just wait until you're older, your legs will be hairy TOO!" She ran away crying. Little Cunt.

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catharsist
OH MY GAWD I HATE THAT!

One time I was at the pool and after shaving my legs at home I missed a spot. A tiny spot. Like a "How would anyone even NOTICE that" spot. This little shit came up to me and laughed in THE shrillest voice that Ive ever heard that "BAWHAWHAW YUR LEGS UR HAIRY". It was a little girl too so I was like "Just wait until you're older, your legs will be hairy TOO!" She ran away crying. Little Cunt.

YES, that's exactly the kind of feeling that came from this!! I'm not sure I understand what the irresistible urge is for some of these little shits to make comments like that. The best part is that I'm not overwhelmingly overweight. I can still fit into the regular range of clothing sizes, which tends toward a size to a size and a half smaller than US sizes, and I've even lost a little weight during summer, so I'm not feeling too horrible about it these days. Unfortunately, I just don't happen to fit the toothpick thin model it seems most women starve themselves to maintain here. God forbid I should have a little thigh meat or a soft belly. It immediately damns me to whale status, and thus worthy to be criticized by asshole little kids.

I actually just found out yesterday - turns out I'll likely be losing the gig. Oh well. It just means I can spend the time looking for adult students to tutor who will be more focused on what they're learning than on my appearance. It's a shame because the mother is a really nice lady, and I hate to part ways with her just as we were getting to know each other, but it's ultimately their decision, and life will go on either way.

BTW, I really love that your little she-beast ran off crying. HA! Serves her right. If this is the kind of thing that makes kids become aware that someday things WILL come around and bite them in the ass, I'm all for such little life lessons. If anything, you helped her out! She ought to be grateful to you!

Hell yeah, she best be grateful! No one gets crushed dreams at low, low prices these days! You'd think I was running damned charity!

And congrats on the expanding horizons! Maybe you'll have a student more appreciative next time.

If a nasty little fucker said something like that to me and either his Moo wasn't around OR she was standing there and didn't correct it immediately, I'd hone in on it's most obvious defect and respond, "Yeah, and your big ears make you look like a hound dog", or perhaps, "Yeah, and your hair makes you look like Howdy Doody", or maybe even, "Maybe so Pig Face, but with that huge nose of yours you should be careful when it rains and not look up or you might drown yourself with a snout like that".

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
If a nasty little fucker said something like that to me and either his Moo wasn't around OR she was standing there and didn't correct it immediately, I'd hone in on it's most obvious defect and respond, "Yeah, and your big ears make you look like a hound dog", or perhaps, "Yeah, and your hair makes you look like Howdy Doody", or maybe even, "Maybe so Pig Face, but with that huge nose of yours you should be careful when it rains and not look up or you might drown yourself with a snout like that".

LOLOL!!! This just made my evening! Thank you!!!
I thought about it. I was definitely in the room alone with the kid, but just thought to play it safe and be nice since I do still think his mother is a nice person, who I've also been tutoring at the same time. I didn't want it to turn into a big drama festival for my poor friend who referred me to them, either, just in case it turned out by some freak accident that he DID understand what I said, or that they had a camera in the room, watching and recording me teaching or something, you know what I mean? Stranger things seem to happen where foreigners are involved, even though I really think his mother just wanted the kid out of her hair. She'd told me several times through the weeks I was tutoring them both that he irritated the hell out of her on a daily basis...Can't imagine why....After all, she's only going to spend the rest of her waking days picking up after a useless adult manbaby who's cowering in his room playing Monster Hunter day after day. They're just SOOO worth it, though, right? :biggrin2

This is probably one of the biggest reasons why I can't stand kids (although there are another 1000 reasons as well). They waddle or walk up to you, say something rude and then everyone smiles because "they're little and don't know any better". It's a huge reason why I avoid them anywhere I go, because they stare and then blurt out something mean.

To this day when I'm standing in line somewhere and a kid is staring at me, I can feel my temperature rising. Even as a kid myself, I hated sitting in restaurants with babies or toddlers who wouldn't stop staring. (My mom would tell me I wouldn't notice their stares if I didn't look at them. Did she ever hear of peripheral vision?)

I hope you never see that little jackass again. If you do, tell him to crawl back into his little defective Pokemon ball and get back to hugging his anime girl pillow.

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I actually just found out yesterday - turns out I'll likely be losing the gig.

wait, is this because you dared to repeat Snotlieigh's inappropriate comment?

Sounds like another weak-willed Moo who can't properly handle a "teachable moment," as my parents used to call it. A real parent would have had him apologize for his remark and had her son endure some discomfort at what he said, but that's not modern parenting for sure.

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This is probably one of the biggest reasons why I can't stand kids (although there are another 1000 reasons as well). They waddle or walk up to you, say something rude and then everyone smiles because "they're little and don't know any better". It's a huge reason why I avoid them anywhere I go, because they stare and then blurt out something mean.

WTF is up with the staring? When I was a wee sprog, I was taught it's rude to stare.

An ex-friend who was a total Breeder brain was telling me about her little girl who was about 8 or 9. They were in a public place and they encountered someone with a tracheotomy. Breederilla proceeded to tell me how she felt sorry for "Poor Snotleigh" who just kept STARING at the man because she had never seen something like that before.

I wanted to hit my clueless friend. Poor Snotleigh, my ass. How about the man's feelings? He was just trying to go about his business without some shitling starting at him non-stop.

It's really poor parenting all around.

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bell_flower

WTF is up with the staring? When I was a wee sprog, I was taught it's rude to stare.

An ex-friend who was a total Breeder brain was telling me about her little girl who was about 8 or 9. They were in a public place and they encountered someone with a tracheotomy. Breederilla proceeded to tell me how she felt sorry for "Poor Snotleigh" who just kept STARING at the man because she had never seen something like that before.

I wanted to hit my clueless friend. Poor Snotleigh, my ass. How about the man's feelings? He was just trying to go about his business without some shitling starting at him non-stop.

It's really poor parenting all around.

The staring is downright freaky! Also, kyds love to hassle other people. I recall two episodes vividly, the first one happened when I was walking down the road with my then-boyfriend and these two pieces of crotchfruit (aged maybe 5 and 7, a boy and a girl), started following us and yelling at me that I looked good. We decided to cross the road but so did they and they kept following us, we had a real hard time shaking them off! Can you believe that, getting sexually harassed by widdle chyldrun?

The second episode occurred at the bus stop, I was waiting for my bus, minding my own business when this little girl started staring at me and yelling, 'Hey, your hair!' and 'Hey, your piercings!' at me. Her moo was standing right next to her and talking to someone but completely ignoring her sprog's stupid behavior. I popped my earbuds into my ears and drowned the brat's shrieks out with some rawwwk.

Oh yeah, kyds are so refreshing! eyes2

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bell_flower

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I actually just found out yesterday - turns out I'll likely be losing the gig.

wait, is this because you dared to repeat Snotlieigh's inappropriate comment?

Welllll, I just got an update about the whole situation yesterday. You'll love this. Breeders and Doting Grandma vs. Objective, Reasonable Person Who Can See Through the Kiddy Crap extraordinaire!

I met with my friend who I was doing the favor for yesterday. We had a long discussion about the whole thing, which basically began with a sitdown she had with her her grandson (this kid) and the parents (her son and daughter-in-law) the day before. Tl;dr is that the little shit lied about me to cover his ass on all fronts, and naturally, the parents and my friend believed him.

First, they addressed the fat comment. The poor little mite, his beloved grandma (the other one, not my friend), after all, could be mistaken for an ocean liner, you see, and by his singling me out as the example of FAT in our vocabulary list - welllll, it was a term of endearment, somehow relating to his warm fuzzies for his grandmama on his mother's side. It was just a simple misunderstanding the evil gaijin twisted yet again into an evil act!....If that weren't bad enough, my friend decided to add insult to injury by insisting that Japan is NOT a fat-phobic country in the least, and how could I possibly think such a thing?...Never mind that I've had this happen before, women here are known to starve and diet themselves to near death to be skinny, and oh yes - let's not forget the LAW that requires an employee's waistline to be below a certain width. I nearly laughed my ass off at that comment, but restrained myself so as not to hurt my friend's feelings. She does actually surround herself with polite people, and has been thin all her life, so she has no experience with that kind of discrimination. Ok, I understand it.

Then came the worst of it.

Kids being kids, they tend to love to lie and spin things to get out of trouble, and I wasn't surprised to have heard this one did the same thing when they asked him about his problem with paying attention during our lessons. This one was perfectly happy throwing me under the bus to look like the little innocent misunderstood - and the parents and grandma bought it hook, line and sinker. I think I mentioned before that last week was basically the last straw for me when the kid took a box cutter to a stick and started hacking it apart while I was trying to teach him. This went on for most of the lesson. He couldn't have been bothered to pay attention to anything I was saying. His excuse was that he thought we were on a break, because I had dared to press the home button ONCE on my phone when a text message came in from my husband. I proceeded to get reprimanded by my friend for "fiddling around on my phone" during a lesson, because this little shit kid made it sound like I had stopped in the middle of what we were doing, picked up my phone and started texting, thus providing him with plenty of time to run off and get his woodworking on. Lying little fuck. I could have been spared the lecture by my friend over this, and I was quick to tell her that her precious grandsprog was straight up lying about that. I remember having pushed that button, and I've got it set to where when you push the home button, the text appears on the screen without any further futzing with it. In the end, I'm sorry, but a possible emergency message from my husband trumps a babysitting session disguised as an English lesson for some spoiled little shit, anyway. I stood my ground on that one, and didn't apologize for having taken a second to check. Didn't even miss a beat, but, y'know...kyds are just lil' angels who neber EBER lie. Especially not HER grandson. Heavens, no!

It goes on...Now the issue of the constant playing of the 3DS during the lesson...

"Oh! He just wanted to show you his game!! He's just a sweet, adorable little boy who wanted to share his beloved toy with you, can't you see??"....No. No he didn't. At no time did he act as though he wanted to include me in his game playing. He sat across from me, opened it up and started minding his own business. Period. Now this shit has been going on since the first, and has gotten steadily worse, so yeah...utter bullshit, and she knows it, because I'd already told her about this.

My friend wasn't having any of it, because as we well know - grandmas and moos can't be fucking told. They are completely blind to the ill actions of the precious lil' sproglets. All it takes is watching any random episode of Dr. Phil for us to see how far some mawm will go to defend her murderous cunt of an adult child who's rotting on death row for his crimes. HE'S JUST AN INNOCENT CHYYYULLLLLD!!! HE'S INCAPABLE OF SUCH THINGS!...Only the evidence that's right in front of your face tells us all different. And this is how the conversation proceeded. I knew there was no way I would be able to get my friend to see that her grandson was being a typical kid, wanting to cover his ass after being put on the spot for misbehaving. She kept accusing me of saying he was "bad". I told her I didn't think he was bad - he was just being a typical kid, and I expected as much. Somehow that seemed to upset her more, though.

I ended the conversation with a little anecdote, which my friend conveniently pretended not to understand...I told her that when I was a kid, we didn't have a whole lot of money to just throw around, so when my mother got me lessons for one thing or other, she sat me down and said "Now, you pay attention. I'm paying good money for you to take these lessons, and if I find out from your teacher that you're horsing around or otherwise not making the best use of your lesson time, this will stop immediately." I got the message, and paid attention. And she DID follow up with the teacher to see if I was well behaved. I asked my friend, "What makes your grandson think it's ok to fuck around and act like a disrespectful turd to a teacher who has come all this way (from another city) to give him a private lesson? Who is it that isn't telling him how to behave?? The mother? Father? Why is this behavior acceptable at all? The 3DS shouldn't even be in the room while we're having our lesson. Who told him this behavior is ok? He's such a speshul snowflake that he's exempt from common courtesy and decorum that would be expected during a one-on-one private lesson?"...Like I said, I couldn't get her to see the sense in what I was saying, because she made it sound as though she didn't understand what I had said...This happens sometimes. I dropped it from there, since we'd been talking about this for 2 solid hours by that point.

I understand that this is my friend's grandkid, and she's going to defend him no matter what, and as shitty as that is, I was the one who made the decision (after a sort of strange idea was proposed that my friend come with me to the lesson and...sit in the adjoining room to...I guess listen in while I was teaching...how is that supposed to be effective?) to just discontinue the lessons. They wanted me to continue on this week, and swore that he wouldn't act that way again, but I don't trust the kid at all now. Adults can swear up and down that their kid won't ever do something again. Doesn't mean a thing. I don't want to continue to teach a kid who is so willing to lie about me to get himself off the hook. I did the best I could, considering the circumstances, trying to do a favor for my friend. I told her right up front that I'm not good with kids, and given past experience trying to teach the little monsters, it's not something I'd ever volunteer to do again - but I'd try it because she asked me to. Well, I tried, it didn't work out, and that's the end of the story for me. I'm still irritated at my friend for siding with the little shit, but it comes with the territory. I guess my lesson here is just to be firm but gentle the next time someone I like hits me up for some chyuld related favor. I know for sure now that it's just never going to end well.

So that's the end of that!

you know what they say...... no good deed goes unpunished.....
but I'm sure that little bon mot would be lost in translation as well..... oh so conveniently i no understand

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I dropped it from there, since we'd been talking about this for 2 solid hours by that point.

Wow, this has turned into a cluster fuck of epic proportions and it just goes to show you that Breeders are not worth the drama they cause. Two solid hours of this bullshit over something they could have solved in three minutes with Snotleigh? Unbelievable.

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I understand that this is my friend's grandkid, and she's going to defend him no matter what

.

This is where I depart from modern parenting. She shouldn't defend him when he's in the wrong.

The ridiculousness of this can't be understated. I'm glad you stood your ground and wouldn't teach him again. It would have only got worse from here.

And I'm not so sure I would want to be associated with your friend anymore, but that's just me. Being 50+ myself, I thought I was immune to losing friends to parunthood, but unfortunately I'm finding when GrandSnots come along, formerly smart-thinking women can turn into assholes in a moment.

Side story: Some of you all will be familiar with my stories about GrandMoo. In retrospect the trouble started when her daughter had her first (ill-advised, on-shaky-ground-marriage) sprog. I bought her some kind of fancy sling to put the baybee in. It was really fashionable and it looked chic as opposed to baby-craptastic and it was PLENTY EXPENSIVE, but there was some issue with the sizing or something and it turned into a huge clusterfuck with Daughter sending e-mails to wherever I bought the thing. (online)

Daughter didn't get satisfaction from the retailer and I heard ALL ABOUT IT, so she went to the manufacturer and finally got what she wanted. After enduring numerous e-mails about it I thought, Christ, whatever happened to accepting a gift and saying thank you and being gracious and if you need to take it back, do so QUIETLY without burdening the giver?

I know, that would require some actual manners or class.

(It was reminiscent of Whorta and her red boots, but I digress.)

Of course I never got a thank you note, just grief.

TLDR: Grandmothers can be just as crazy and unreasonable as mothers, sometimes moreso. They are older, tired-er and they won't believe kids are little shits. Perhaps they don't have the energy to deal with it.

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bell_flower
[And I'm not so sure I would want to be associated with your friend anymore, but that's just me. Being 50+ myself, I thought I was immune to losing friends to parunthood, but unfortunately I'm finding when GrandSnots come along, formerly smart-thinking women can turn into assholes in a moment.

Side story: Some of you all will be familiar with my stories about GrandMoo. In retrospect the trouble started when her daughter had her first (ill-advised, on-shaky-ground-marriage) sprog. I bought her some kind of fancy sling to put the baybee in. It was really fashionable and it looked chic as opposed to baby-craptastic and it was PLENTY EXPENSIVE, but there was some issue with the sizing or something and it turned into a huge clusterfuck with Daughter sending e-mails to wherever I bought the thing. (online)

Daughter didn't get satisfaction from the retailer and I heard ALL ABOUT IT, so she went to the manufacturer and finally got what she wanted. After enduring numerous e-mails about it I thought, Christ, whatever happened to accepting a gift and saying thank you and being gracious and if you need to take it back, do so QUIETLY without burdening the giver?

I know, that would require some actual manners or class.

(It was reminiscent of Whorta and her red boots, but I digress.)

Of course I never got a thank you note, just grief.

TLDR: Grandmothers can be just as crazy and unreasonable as mothers, sometimes moreso. They are older, tired-er and they won't believe kids are little shits. Perhaps they don't have the energy to deal with it.

My solution:
Take back gift with reassuring words such as "I' ll take care of this"
Spend the rest of your life having nothing to do with any petty ungrateful moos.
If confronted about the re-assumed former gift, say that it was donated to a deserving and grateful person.

seriously you spent two hours on the topic of this brat? I hope you charged accordingly.

This little shit is heading for a life in jail. All these emotionally challenged, undisciplined little snots end up there. And moo and grandmoo will be lowing about how it's not Bratley's faaauuullltt and the justice system is so meeeeaaaaann!

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My solution:
Take back gift with reassuring words such as "I' ll take care of this"
Spend the rest of your life having nothing to do with any petty ungrateful moos.
If confronted about the re-assumed former gift, say that it was donated to a deserving and grateful person.

It happened five or six years ago, but yeah.

Needless to say, I didn't give her daughter a present for the second and third ill-conceived loaf.

My friend was a wonderful friend....she really "got it" but it's all past tense now. She can't be there for anyone except her spoiled daughter and grandbrats. The sad thing is, she can't be there for herself either: She's the primary caretaker for her daughter's kidS (because you aren't a True Breeder unless you drag MULTIPLE CHILDREN through your shitty marriage and subsequent divorce) and, despite having an illness that will kill her, my friend can't refuse her daughter anything. I don't think she's noticed that I'm not around much anymore.

tldr: kids pretty much ruin everything: relationships, marriages, friendships.

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the noodler
seriously you spent two hours on the topic of this brat? I hope you charged accordingly.

Yeahhh, it took that long to sort out all the weird things she made out of what I was saying. There's a bit of a problem with language barrier, and when she gets flustered, she doesn't listen carefully and thinks I'm saying other things. After that, it was a million and one excuses why it was ok for her grandturd to act that way, and part of it was her trying to get me to persevere and go back and try again. I told her over and over again it made no sense to keep trying to teach a kid that wasn't interested in what I was trying to teach him, but I guess she just wanted to save face, or something. I didn't bother asking her why she wanted so badly to try again, because by that time I just wanted out of the conversation. I did actually get paid for the time, at least, because all of this crap interfered with a lesson she and I were supposed to be having. We're friends, but where language lessons are concerned, we definitely draw boundaries, and she did end up choosing to waste time going on and on about this, and admitted as much, so it was ok.

This was a freak incident, thankfully. She's normally a very reasonable and friendly person, and has otherwise been a good friend to me. My mistake was giving in and thinking This Time It Might Be Different. Nope. Not with kyds, OR grandkyds. I've learned my lesson now.

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bell_flower
TLDR: Grandmothers can be just as crazy and unreasonable as mothers, sometimes moreso. They are older, tired-er and they won't believe kids are little shits. Perhaps they don't have the energy to deal with it.

I can definitely see that now. What a horror story! Glad you weren't bothered when the next kids came along. Sounds like it saved you a whole lot of trouble and drama. It's a shame that the friendship isn't what it once was as a result, though. I'm willing to move past this with my friend, but I admit I still feel a little resentful over the idea that she pretty much decided I was a liar after taking what that little shit said about me for the absolute truth before even asking for my side. I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm just probably going to lie low and let it blow over for a while.

I forgot to mention, too, that she made sure to make a big deal out of the fact that he was her First Grandchyld! THE ALMIGHTY GOLDEN PENIS!!! Who can possibly compete with that?? They are incapable of wrongdoing of any kind! eyes2

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stillwaters
This little shit is heading for a life in jail. All these emotionally challenged, undisciplined little snots end up there. And moo and grandmoo will be lowing about how it's not Bratley's faaauuullltt and the justice system is so meeeeaaaaann!

I would agree with you! In the case of this family, though, they do seem to have a pattern of enabling this kind of behavior, so I'm guessing he'll be allowed to just live in his room and never leave the house until his parents finally die....Which is exactly what happened with my friend's sister, and it's been playing itself out within the last few months. The sister was allowed to be a shut-in all her life (due to some mysterious illness, apparently...most likely the vapors). Her mother just died a few weeks ago, and the father's currently failing in the hospital. They're going to have to stick the sister most likely in some type of facility because she was never taught how to live her own life and is going through a complete nervous breakdown now. It seems the father of this kid is now quitting his own company to go back and live with his mother (my friend) now, too....Who knows how that'll turn out. Between that little snot and the husband, the wife must be going nuts.

Not to break the Bed Made Lie code, but I mentioned before that the mom of this kid is actually a very nice lady, and during our long discussion my friend tried to blame HER for causing pweshus to drop out of school. Heaven forbid - she was too "harsh" on him, she said. What, I suppose by telling him he'd need to quit effing around and get his ass back to school like all the other kids? Someone should have warned her beforehand that she was marrying into a trainwreck of a tainted blood line.

It sounds like maybe your friend is a bit passive aggressive and using the language barrier to further squirm out of assigning any responsibility to the kid for his behavior. Hell I have famblee members like this and it's just classic they will do anything to not admit something but then of course someone else, usually the victim or the person who brought up the problem, must be wrong, mistaken, lying, etc., and yep get thrown under the bus in defense of bratleigh or whoever is the golden one which never does wrong. It's kind of sad in it's fantastical thinking, it's also immature and irresponsible. Under it all they know the truth so it's kind of desperate too.

Something is REALLY wrong with that family based on the other info even though they may be polite and get along nicely with others.

IMO this kind of thing does not define modern parenting, it is typical BAD parenting. There are just more BAD parents now than ever but a PNB would not do this. My sister used to bully teachers, the school administration, whoever held golden penis accountable for awful behavior and other parents tried to tell her she needed to just deal with the issues. She used all defensive tactics, including denying, crying, "forgetting", pretending not to get it, saying she is so bizzy, anything but taking responsibility. Of course they didn't understaaand. So she made him drop out of school so she would not have to hear she was wrong. And now true to form he's a loser h.s. dropout in the basement/and living off of friends, because everyone else is wrong and mean. This kind of upbringing is life-ruining, cruel and abusive.

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rockchick
Also, kyds love to hassle other people. I recall two episodes vividly, the first one happened when I was walking down the road with my then-boyfriend and these two pieces of crotchfruit (aged maybe 5 and 7, a boy and a girl), started following us and yelling at me that I looked good. We decided to cross the road but so did they and they kept following us, we had a real hard time shaking them off! Can you believe that, getting sexually harassed by widdle chyldrun?

In London a few years ago I heard a boy shout "Hey, sexy!" at me and ignored him only for him to pinch my bottom and run away laughing. I was nearly 30 at the time, the boy couldn't have been older than ten and he was clearly doing it knowing he could get away with it, because what are you supposed to do if you're groped by a child? You can't slap them or hit them, can you? It was still pretty depressing though, clearly he had never been taught anything about manners or respecting other people's boundaries.

I'm being reminded of this story which prompted loads of "awwww, he's just an innocent little boy with an innocent crush"-type comments on CNN. I never thought this little creep was cute and I still don't . Urrrggghh.

Back to the original post- cats_instead, I don't know how you did it, I teach undergrads and I find that stressful enough. I wouldn't be happy teaching anyone younger and who is in my class because they're required to be there by law, not because they want to be there and want to learn. I'm also lucky my students are all adults who are supposed to handle disagreements by themselves, not by dragging their parents in and getting them to threaten me for daring to give their little mirakul "only" 69% for their essay.

How long have you been in Japan? I lived there for six months and was surprised at how polite and well-behaved children tended to be in public. The Japanese can be rude to gaijin but it's usually more subtle things like staring, being surprised that you can use chopsticks, etc, which is all very annoying but not as overtly rude as calling someone "fat". It sounds like this boy does not have typically Japanese manners because his parents are atypically bad at disciplining him and teaching him about respect.

I think you definitely did the right thing here- this boy is prepared to behave badly and then blame you to get himself off the hook, so if you carry on teaching him he'll continue to drive a wedge between you and your friends. You were damned if you did and damned if you didn't, frankly. I hope your friendship survives but I'm sure you'll come out of this with your sanity intact, at least!

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cats_instead
She'd told me several times through the weeks I was tutoring them both that he irritated the hell out of her on a daily basis...

She needs to teach that brat to respect adults instead of being a lazy parent.

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- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine

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screaming sausage

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rockchick
Also, kyds love to hassle other people. I recall two episodes vividly, the first one happened when I was walking down the road with my then-boyfriend and these two pieces of crotchfruit (aged maybe 5 and 7, a boy and a girl), started following us and yelling at me that I looked good. We decided to cross the road but so did they and they kept following us, we had a real hard time shaking them off! Can you believe that, getting sexually harassed by widdle chyldrun?

In London a few years ago I heard a boy shout "Hey, sexy!" at me and ignored him only for him to pinch my bottom and run away laughing. I was nearly 30 at the time, the boy couldn't have been older than ten and he was clearly doing it knowing he could get away with it, because what are you supposed to do if you're groped by a child? You can't slap them or hit them, can you? It was still pretty depressing though, clearly he had never been taught anything about manners or respecting other people's boundaries.

I'm being reminded of this story which prompted loads of "awwww, he's just an innocent little boy with an innocent crush"-type comments on CNN. I never thought this little creep was cute and I still don't . Urrrggghh.

Oh yes, I remember hearing about that incident where the boy got suspended. Like you I didn't find it cute or endearing because that chyld is a sex offender in the making as far as I'm concerned.

I know perfectly well how incredibly vulgar little chyldrun can be. My stupid parunts made me skip two grades in school because they couldn't help themselves, they just needed to prove to everyone how their genes were so superior they'd raised a genius. :headbrick
So I was eight and all my classmates were two years older and all they talked about was sex. Sex, at ten years old! And this was a 'good school' in a 'good neighborhood', mind you. The kyds were obsessed. I was really traumatized by their behavior and it got so far that I had to throw up every morning before school because I dreaded going there.

@cats_instead: Kudos to you for standing your ground. And thank dog she paid you for your time, it was her decision to talk about her grandkyd, she could've done something more useful with her time.

Just a quick update for anyone interested:

As it turns out, Grandmoo (I won't refer to her as "friend" anymore, since the other title is what she'd rather be known by, it seems) has decided to flounce on me after all. It dawned on me after nearly 3 weeks of minding my own business now that she's been giving me the silent treatment. What makes it more hilarious is that she's one of these awful passive-aggressive types who cannot stand even so much as being asked WHY she's giving the silent treatment, so she's hiding from me like a coward, and won't even pick up the phone to tell me what her issue is. Isn't that just lovely? 5 gold stars for top notch communication skills.

I've done what I can do to try to sort it out, so, since I can't force her to respond, I guess I officially declare this friendship sacrificed over yet another good-for-nothing kyd some naive breederbrained fool thinks is a saint. So much for being the "daughter she never had." I guess it makes sense that this would be how she treats family, since one of her sons won't even speak to her. OOOOPS!

Honestly, what a cunt.

Of course it hurts that she was so willing to just drop our friendship after all these years over the lie of some worthless little shit, but good riddance to bad rubbish. I refuse to enable the abuse of another hostile passive-aggressive victim martyr type (she's just the sort who will go off to everyone she knows and cry to them about what a horrible person I am for...whatever it was I did wrong. I'll never know. ) in my life anyway. Life will go on.