CF Reason #4543: holiday season bullshit

Background: I like the holiday season. I simply reject the way that our culture observes it: spending $$$$, packing in too many activities, forced time with people you don't like, materialism, and so on. I like winter, music, making things for the handful of important people in my life, spending time with loved ones, and helping others in need. I have managed to pretty much unplug myself from the Christmas Industrial Complex. My sibs don't have kids, either, so there's no "but Christmas is about the children" type of pressure, either.

I pretty much don't set foot in a store between Thanksgiving and New Year's, except to buy food. And I'm extra careful about making use of any off-peak times I can hit in the store. I don't buy stuff, period. All of this works great for both me and my husband. It's a peaceful time of year for us.

All of this is directly in opposition to what forces childed people seem to be up against. It looks like hell. Even the PNBs seem to hate this time of year for at least SOME of the time, even if their kids are older and not so easily overstimulated by the ridiculous materialism and hype. Mostly parents just seem even more miserable than usual. The Christmas Industrial Complex has got them, and the effort and pain involved in escaping its grasp is way worse than just gritting their teeth and being miserable bastards for six weeks or so.

They have no option of avoiding the material aspects of Christmas. They drag their asses to every kiddie holiday thing, wait in line for Santa, spend $$$$$$, travel during holiday time, put up eleventy billion decorations, childproof the Christmas tree, etc.

Ugh. So glad that will never be me!

Me too! I have some kyds in my famblee, such as great-nieces and nephews which I will be seeing for Xmess, but I won't be falling all over myself to buy them expensive gifts.

My aunt is having everyone over for the Holidays, and I only plan on buying her a box of chocolates. It's not because I'm cheap, it's just that I HATE the whole commercialized Xmess Hell that people have created. I don't want any part of it. The idea of stepping into a T0ys-R-U$ makes me sick to my stomach.

I have also noticed, when I go to the maul, how bedraggled and miserable all the parunts look. It's something I observe and think, "Thank God that isn't me."

I am sooo glad that I can enjoy a quiet Xmess with my new husband and relax. My aunt is having us over on Boxing Day, so we get the rest of the Holidays to ourselves.

Dh likes doing the Christmas lights, even though we live on an acre in a rural area and there aren't many people to see them. He just likes doing the twinkly stuff, adding more lights every year. I like the first night they are on, when we walk out to the end of our property and I gush over his work.

I guess we just do that for our own enjoyment. The rest of it - the shopping, the crowds, the increasingly snarly mood of folks as the countdown gets closer ... *yech* Other than making quick forays to the hardware store and shops to see if anything new and spiffy is available in the area of lights, we just stay hunkered down and wait for all that to be over.

Last year just after Christmas I was chatting online with someone I knew in college. She asked how my holidays were, and I answered honestly: that it was peaceful, that husband and I enjoyed some nice time together, and about a party we went to at a friend's house (nary a minor present). Her response was along the lines of "lol, we're not going to have a peaceful holiday around here for some time". I wasn't about to edit my response to her, though. It was true: we'd had a peaceful, enjoyable time. Not my fault she followed the herd, and I'm not about to downplay the positives in my life.

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randomcfchick
Her response was along the lines of "lol, we're not going to have a peaceful holiday around here for some time".

Later, she pukes with envy under the toilet paper roller in the bathroom over couples without kids having a peaceful holiday season, unwinds the whole roll of toilet paper on the pile, and nestles the Elf on the Shelf in it.

If breeders have a miserable holiday time, it's their own doing. No one is making them venture out into store stampedes to buy their kids mountains of shit to cram under a fake tree. Why can they not stick to two presents per kid? Or not do presents at all? A family I used to know that was very PNB would say to the kids, "Today is Jesus' birthday, and you don't get presents on someone else's birthday." They'd do decorations and visiting and stuff, but not gifting. I was a spoiled brat and used to give my mother a mile-long list of shit that I wanted every year and, for some damn reason, she'd buy most of it. Then she'd bitch about it if I wanted to donate some of it to the thrift store a decade later because OMG she spent money on it, which means I have to keep it forevar! Nothing was stopping her from saying, "I'll get you two or three things. Pick out what ones you want the most and I'll try to get those."

But X-mess is also a way for breeders to guilt their brats into behaving. You know, the whole, "If you're not good, Santa won't bring you any presents!" But you know even if the kid continues to be a rotten little shit, the parents will get it gifts anyway.

I'm glad this shit will never be me either. No having to spend money on an ungrateful little brat to shut them up for four seconds before they start screaming that their XBox is the wrong color or some shit. And I refuse to shop in stores. "Holiday cheer" seems to be synonymous with greed as people beat the fuck out of one another on Black Friday as they fight over toys and blenders. I don't have to buy for too many people, and any shopping that has to be done, I do online.

However, there are some aspects of X-mess I like. Some of the music, making cards (and sometimes gifts), and oddly enough, wrapping stuff. I don't know why, but wrapping stuff and making it look pretty is fun. Sometimes I'll fuck with my friends and wrap a gift ten times and draw stuff on each layer and watch them pick off each layer. It's a waste of paper, I know, but it's funny. Speaking of cards, I have to go stock up on paper, cardboard and glue if I'm gonna get them made and mailed in time.

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Cambion

However, there are some aspects of X-mess I like. Some of the music, making cards (and sometimes gifts), and oddly enough, wrapping stuff. I don't know why, but wrapping stuff and making it look pretty is fun. Sometimes I'll fuck with my friends and wrap a gift ten times and draw stuff on each layer and watch them pick off each layer. It's a waste of paper, I know, but it's funny. Speaking of cards, I have to go stock up on paper, cardboard and glue if I'm gonna get them made and mailed in time.

I actually find wrapping gifts quite satisfying, and I'm (not to brag) I'm really damn good at it.

I rarely buy supplies for cards...I save interesting paper, pages from magazines, and other odds and ends for them, over the course of months. The result is some really cool mosaic/collage cards. It's a lot of fun.

As for parents choosing to stay attached to the Christmas Industrial Complex...you're right, Cambion. Totally a choice. I know of a couple people who basically give the finger to the whole thing, but I think that even those parents take a lot of shit from everyone else about it.

There are no words for how I dread the last two months of the year. I love Hallowe'en, loathe Thanksgiving and Christmas. My first DH and I sometimes would go to relatives houses for holidays, but many years we'd just stay home and have a nice, quiet holiday , just us , our doggies, and a holiday meal. But DH 2 wants to go to his parent's house for every holiday on the calender including Arbor day and Groundhog day* , and for holidays where the out of towners don't come too, it's tolerable, but for the Big Two? A house full of famblee, including noisy kids, nowhere to sit down, tv blaring, me just wanting to go home and read....UGH!

Yeah, I know, but it's only The Four Bad Days each year, so it's not a hill to die upon.

*OK, OK, that's a slight exaggeration, sue me.

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ex lurker
There are no words for how I dread the last two months of the year. I love Hallowe'en, loathe Thanksgiving and Christmas. My first DH and I sometimes would go to relatives houses for holidays, but many years we'd just stay home and have a nice, quiet holiday , just us , our doggies, and a holiday meal. But DH 2 wants to go to his parent's house for every holiday on the calender including Arbor day and Groundhog day* , and for holidays where the out of towners don't come too, it's tolerable, but for the Big Two? A house full of famblee, including noisy kids, nowhere to sit down, tv blaring, me just wanting to go home and read....UGH!

Yeah, I know, but it's only The Four Bad Days each year, so it's not a hill to die upon.

*OK, OK, that's a slight exaggeration, sue me.

you will know it's bad if it comes to this

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

I already have presents picked out for my mother and brother. I just need to wait for reddit secret santa to finish Christmas shopping.

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randomcfchick
I actually find wrapping gifts quite satisfying, and I'm (not to brag) I'm really damn good at it.

I rarely buy supplies for cards...I save interesting paper, pages from magazines, and other odds and ends for them, over the course of months. The result is some really cool mosaic/collage cards. It's a lot of fun.

I'm hit and miss with wrapping. Sometimes I can get it to look perfect, while other times it looks like a retarded kid did it. It's still fun, though. I also do collage-style cards that I make out of wrapping paper, magazines, and other bits and pieces I can find (stickers, gift tags, glitter, ribbon, etc.) I like to send a buddy of mine pervy holiday cards, so I save my Roaman's books and cut out the images of underwear models for his cards. I'd like to try using holiday-themed fabric sometime too. The only shitty part is the edges of the cards sometimes come apart a little by the time I'm all done, so they have to be handled somewhat gently.

When I was a kid (an only child) we had a pretty good sized famly. EVERYONE came over on Xmess or we did the usual rounds of the homes of the aunts, uncles and cousins allll on Xmess day. My mother stressed herself out, my father beotched about the money. I loved the holidays when I was young...and then... one by one... the holidays became meaningless. First it was Labor Day and Memorial Day.. and 4th of July.. Easter... Halloween,, Thanksgiving... and now even Xmess. My mother has been gone for 25 years.. and my father for 18. Aunts and uncles are all gone and the last of my cousins have moved away and have no contact with me. My dh's parents have no contact with him either..and haven't for many years now. Dh works retail so we are never together for any holiday except T'giving and Xmess. So, though this was my favorite time of year when I was a kid and all the way into my 30's ... it's been slowly going down hill. I have tried to replace all the fun with friends who I would invite over..but it was never the same. I would cry when I knew it would just be me and hubby for Xmess.. but now.. I am finally resigned to it. In recent years I have had the party for my social group here at the house and would decorate like crazy. I am not even doing that this year. So I will not decorate. I will have a small tree.. probably on a table in the corner... and a wreath on the door. Hubby and I will spend a quiet day together (he won't be able to do any work from home so I'll have him for the day) and I will just bide my time till the first of a new year. Then I'll put the tree and wreath back in the closet and get on with it. No shopping, no cooking big meals, no making cookies. I have just lost interest in all of it...for this year anyway. I'm in my 60's, no kids or grandkyds, and I am soo happy when I hear all these moos, duhs grandparunts complaining about everything they have to do and buy and how tiiirrred they are..... NOT ME!

It's been quite a few holiday seasons since Mr and I bought each other anything. And we aren't fambly people - we do get to spend lots of intimate time with each other though (not that we don't during the rest of the year...)

Since I'm an atheist I don't really have any particular need to celebrate Christmas. I have some fond memories from my childhood but there's no sense trying to recreate them, it wouldn't be possible. Once in a while I spend the holidays with my parents and indulge in some nostalgia.

Other years I have hosted a Christmas dinner for friends, mosty those from other countries who neither celebrate the holiday nor have family to visit. It can get pretty boring and lonely with most people away and everything closed.

I'm also fond of taking long walks through the city, which is more quiet on Christmas day than any other time. You can really feel like you're alone for a change. My SO and I have done this several times. We bring a thermos of cocoa and just walk for hours, then go home and bake cinnamon rolls or something else indulgent.

My other option is to go on holiday, ideally to a non-Christian country. Living in Europe I'm reasonably close to north Africa and Turkey. But I've also had a pleasant Christmas in rural France (which let me combine being somewhere else with a long peaceful walk).

No matter what I choose, I don't find the holidays especially stressful. I like selecting gifts for a small number of people and then having some time off, which I can spend relaxing or doing something interesting, depending on how stressed I was in the weeks leading up to the holiday. I don't bother with decorations. I do usually do some extra baking, but I enjoy baking so it isn't a burden but one of the pleasures of having enough time to do it and enough people to foist the baked goods off on. This year I'm trying to decide between a holiday and a festive dinner.

Hubby & I treat and surprise each other year round & are always intimate.

Hubby is of the belief that we don't need a holiday for surprises - and he's right. I'll hang a wreath on the door, put out some holiday kitchen towels, and change the table-scape in the dining room. That's pretty much it. We have a very small circle of people to buy for and I stick to online for holiday shopping.

People are surprised to learn that we don't put up a tree. I always respond and say that our kitties and cockatiel are spoiled enough - they don't need their own tree (and I don't have to worry about what may be in the paint and decorations that could be dangerous). I enjoy post-holiday shopping and pride myself on finding good deals after others have paid full price for items such as tin foil with snowflakes on the box.

Enjoy the season everyone...the peace, tranquility, and simplicity.

Enjoy the season everyone...the peace, tranquility, and simplicity.

OH.. you have just given me an idea. I have a garden flag holder by my front door with a little spot light on it...all year. I could make my own Christmas flag with this message on it. So I would have that and the wreath on my door while my neighbor has his carnival of blow up crap all over his lawn. LOL

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thom_c


you will know it's bad if it comes to this

I'm not gonna give them any ideas...

Yeah, when I was a kid I used be quite excited for Christmas. But like some of the people here, as the years went by it doesn't really do anything for me anymore. I'll visit my Mom, but that's it. Nowadays I see Christmas as just a business. For some odd reason I actually like Thanksgiving and New Year better..

I'm actually enjoying Thanksgiving and Christmas again. It was stressful for many years because we were always the ones expected to travel to someone else's house. Now, that made sense when my parents were alive and niether were in very good health. Mom's passive/aggressiveness about everything under the sun made it an obligation, not a joy, though, and I would always think at the end of the day, "I am so, so tired." It was just mentally and emotionally exhausting and caused a lot of unresolved anger.

So, the parents pass on, but my brother still will not budge out of his little podunk Texas town. Oh, they'll drive up to Colorado to visit SIL'S family, but not spend four hours on the road to come to our house. Whatever. We moved to the Pacific Northwest three years ago and while I know SIL would actually like to come out here, brother will never go for it. I do love him very much, but that selfishness on his part has really hurt. It's a lot better now since I made the decision a few years ago to let a lot of shit go.

This will be the second year in a row that we've gone to Victoria, BC for Christmas, and I think we're going to make it a yearly tradition from now on. The Inn we stay at puts on this really huge, epic Christmas dinner that's out of this world; and it's so much fun to just wander around the city. It's been a rough, rocky road to peace around the holidays. I swear the stress I used to feel has taken a couple of years off my life.

I am done buy gifts for my family. I just bought my brother's new laptop on ebay's special 10% back on ebay bucks. :GOMIIMOG

I still need to pay off my mom's gift on layaway. Two nice gifts for two people. The best part is they know that they are getting, so no need for stress and bad gifts. I love being single and childfree!

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mumofsixbirds

I have also noticed, when I go to the maul, how bedraggled and miserable all the parunts look. It's something I observe and think, "Thank God that isn't me."

I am sooo glad that I can enjoy a quiet Xmess with my new husband and relax. My aunt is having us over on Boxing Day, so we get the rest of the Holidays to ourselves.

I've not been to a 'maul' (soo stealing that!) in years! If I need to buy something, be it a gift or something for myself, I buy it online. The prices are better, and you don't have to deal with the bullshit, the noise, and the free range brats. You also have legions of stores at your fingertips, thanks to programs that sniff out the best prices of items.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

BF and I are going away to a cottage for the week with the hound, and we will spend the week going for nice walks, spoiling the dog, and cooking nice food/drinking, in a quiet rural location where there are no shops! We do our Xmess shopping online, we visit famblee before and/or after Xmas, guilt tripping be damned. Of course, with OH's nephew due to arrive imminently, we were expected not to do our usual disappearing act over the festive week, and to go down and pay homage to the baybee. But we spoke to OH's brother (who is a reasonable sort, despite his batshit crazy fiancee) and just said, you guys will be inundated with family visits, we'll come down and see you in the new year when everyone else has been so you guys get some space and time to yourselves with the baby. He seemed fine with it - even slightly grateful to have one less visit to entertain over the festive period. Of course, MIL thinks this is appalling of us not to go (mainly because she wanted us to drive her down there) and blames me and my "baby hatred" for OH not rushing down to see his new nephew at the first possible opportunity eyes2. My dad always whinges too, that we don't do famblee Christmas, but the more they whinge about it, the more determined it tends to make us not to give into it. Both sets of parents are separated/remarried/repartnered, and they don't live near each other, so if we felt we had to do the famblee visits over the bank holidays, we'd be forever on the road. With my dad and OHs mum also having their spouses' families to consider as well, it also gets complicated co-ordinating visits etc. OH's stepdad is a grandfather, and while we don't have any particular objection to his grandchildren, they are ok as kids go and his son and DIL seem to be PNB, we also don't want to go out of our way to spend our holidays with them, especially as even the most normally well-behaved kids usually get overexcited and hyped up during the festive nonsense.

As for the rampant commercialism, well I stick two fingers up at that, too. I make a lot of presents - chutneys from some of the veggies I get from work (I work at an outdoor education/conservation centre) I knit/crochet things, and I've made some bunting from fabric offcuts and ends for my best friend, who has done her kitchen up 1950s style. I have also bought a few things from the woodcraft students at work, who are mostly learning disabled, which helps support those classes to continue - mostly they make planters for the garden, which I know my mum will like.

I used to love this time of year and am slowly coming back into it. I do appreciate the change in seasons and some of the social things but I grow less and less "Famblee -Oriented" as the time goes by and I would rather watch paint peel than be forced to spend time with them.

Yes, Christmas is a big business and it gets worse each year. I don't exchange gifts with anyone and until recently, I have had to deal with the additional fun of losing my job in Dec (Dec 2008 and 2013 respectively). Nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like a pink slip. So this time of year in terms of holidays is really something I endure until it is over and we're in the clear with a New Year.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has no use for Xmess anymore.

I used to loath Christmas because my options were either to fly across the country to see my family (which became apparent the last time I did so that it's pretty much impossible. I give up traveling for the holidays), or go to my hideous in-law's for three days of bullshit and bad cooking. Finally I put my damn foot down and my husband and I stay home on Christmas. We open a couple of presents and make an awesome dinner. It's a nice quiet day and I try to get my husband a new board game or something for us to spend time doing together.
The holiday I can't stand now is new years because I hate fireworks and some jackass has to be out there setting them off every year :gun1

You know, the more I hear about it, the more I am convinced that holiday buyfests and materialism is part of the Lifescript.

So good to not be a part of that Lifescript and do my own thinking.