"for a starting price of just £9.99 you too can screw up your life"

"this buggy signifies everything that ended my happy carefree low cost child free life", says the man who has put it on eBay. Buyer's Remorse and then some:

eBay link

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Here we have for sale the green monster that can only be Phil and Teds. I shall be glad to see it leave my premises and never return.

This was purchased against my wishes many years ago as I never wanted any children and a buggy signified my wife's intent to have children. We argued much and this buggy signifies everything that ended my happy carefree low cost child free life.

This buggy clearly meant she intended to have not just one but multiple children and the extortionate price of this buggy will stay imprinted on my brain till the day I die. I have bought cars that cost less than this buggy. My dad once bought a house that cost less than this buggy.

Anyway as you can tell I hate the buggy. I now have 3 children, and a Labrador and am forced to endure the school run where women I dont know try and discuss the price of centre parc holidays, and the benefits of the micro over the mini micro scooter. To summarize my life is over and this green albatross needs to go round some other poor sods neck.

On the positive none of my three children were stupidly fat, but its been driven by my wife a lot so not all good. During its lifetime its had pretty much every bodily fluid known to science, (and several that have yet to be discovered) chucked over it by my children, Its also absorbed its own weight in Ellas Kitchen meals, and mud.

The Q&As are worth checking out too:

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Q: Absolutely brilliant. You really have put a smile on my face.... Next steps for us I think...... Eeeeeeeeek! Is it really that bad?? Mike
A: Its far far worse. The most beautiful moment in the process of childbirth is the conception.

Currently at £156,505.00, so if he's not donating this to charity he'll still be rewarded for breeding in the end...

And this represents every single reason why you should never stay with a wannabreed and be talked round. Misery ensues.

But at least duh speaketh the truth.

Too bad, so sad, dude. You shoulda divorced your wife and / or had the snip. I have NO sympathy for people who don't take charge of their reproductive choices and just allow someone else to dictate it for them.

I'm surprised he managed to knock anyone up, since his wife carries his balls around in her purse for him.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/tired-dad-sells-buggy-ended-carefree-life-ebay-171321701.html#piWrQPJ


the yahoo article has some questions that were deleted. One was an obvious pissed off duh.

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

No sympathy for this dude. Especially since he had not one but THREE children. How seriously whipped is this guy??!

And he can't cry about how she oopsed him when there was a fucking Hugh Jass stroller in the house as a warning. Talk about telegraphing intent. This lady took out a billboard next to the Husband Highway. Jeez.

If he had any spine, he would have have rolled his eyes at the stroller and picked up the phone to call the urologist. Why do so many people have trouble enforcing the reproductive boundary like that?

This is freaking hilarious! larious I am really glad that this guy is able to carry on and still laugh about it. While the listing itself is funny, the Q&A's below make me laugh so hard, my eyes water.

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eBay
Q: Would you deliver? (Due to give birth next month) 21-Jan-15
A: I have quite large hands so maybe a trained midwife might be better (and less painful for your wife) when it come to your delivery.

Q: Hey Joel, You seem like an upstanding pillar in the community and a man who knows about life, I hope you mind if I ask you some life advice. I am a single man who's never been married, has no children, owns his own house and a Honda Magna 500cc V30 I ride regularly. Lately I have been living the life of ex-girlfriends, some with kids and one that wants kids. I have just had my house valued and it's worth more than I thought. My question to you is, should I sell up, travel to all the places I've always wanted to visit, live on a beach and generally not have a care in the world, or should I start a family with the said ex-girlfriend? Kind regards Lauro (onefortheroad) 21-Jan-15
A: I think you need to try before you buy. I suggest you move in with my family and I will take the bike and the beach for a while and see how you get on. After a short period of maybe 15 years we can swap back.If you can find me.....

Q: I wish I had met a man like you - I'd happily give up being free and single!.... 21-Jan-15
A: We could swap for a week and you could move in with my family while I adopt the free and single lifestyle. Do you have a xbox, and a decent local tandoori?

With all of the kidding aside, posts like these is what people in their teens and 20's need to read - before they decide to go on and have kids.

This eBay poster qualifies as a stand up comedian but what he is really talking about is one sad situation. I cannot sit here and tell that he was oopsed because by bringing home that stroller his wife could not have been anymore clear about her intentions. Where he failed is that he did not address the issue right then and there. In his eBay post, this guy is about as clear as he can be that he did not want kids. I have my set of suspicions on why he chose to go against his wishes.

In my personal life experience, when I was growing up, I was always told by women around me that men are the ones who want kids and that women are OK either way. I used to be a happy guy hearing that because in the back of my mind I used to think that some day I am going to have a great relationship and I knew even at age 6 that I did not want to be a parent. Well, when I started to date, I have learned quickly that personal experiences vary and that women around me would have been CF if they just stuck to what they wanted to stick to. I also learned from those women's mistakes that one should never ever have a kid just because a partner wants one. As I started to get further out into the world, I began to learn that there are other men that are like me but they are taking a different path because they have a desire to have a happy relationship with a woman but they are told that if they want to be with a woman, kids are a must.

While kids are a requirement for most women outside of this site, they are not a requirement for all women. While a happy relationship is very important to many men, having kids that they do not want is going to devalue any happiness that they may have had in their relationship. Just read this eBay post - how happy is this guy?

Every now and then, I get people who like to make unfounded remarks and attempt to tell me that while life with kids is difficult, living alone is something that they could never do and that they feel really sorry for those who are living alone. Really? I think I am going to print this eBay post out, laminate it and put it into my quick-to-access file. Next time someone begins to tell me that living alone sucks, I will pull that out and show them that living alone is way better than having to live a life with kids that one never wanted. In fact, this eBay post is an example of how many childed people really feel. Many would trade their parenting lifestyle for living alone in a New York minute.

Another whiny Duh. His fault and his fault alone. He should have not married or divorced the woman who wanted to breed. He should have wrapped it up or got the snip. He made these kids, and his bed, and he needs to lie in it. Now go tend your brats whiny duh, instead of being an Internet toddler.

Ok, something is going on with the eBay listing or was it all a hoax? Earlier today I saw it over there at the eBay link for about 1000 Pounds. Now it is down to 375 Pounds. Then, the Yahoo news link that was posted higher in the thread claims that viral bids went up to 150000 Pounds. Am I missing something over here? Is the stroller not special enough anymore? Was 150000 Pound bid even legit? To me, that piece of crap is worth 1/2 the price of the scrap metal at a local scrap yard, but then again, they will probably treat is as hazardous waste, so even then it may not all be worth it.

Fake eBay bids- nope, I don't understand why people do fake bidding either...

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mumofsixbirds
I'm surprised he managed to knock anyone up, since his wife carries his balls around in her purse for him.

Bwahahahaaaaa! larious

More on the story here:

Daily Fail link, sorry

It turns out his wife is a crunchy vet and she has her own practice offering animal acupuncture, which aint cheap. He has a job with a charity which sounds like a sales-type role, so his wife is almost certainly the main breadwinner here. Maybe he expected her maternal instincts to take over and assumed she'd be the one taking leave and going through most of the drudgery of parenting only to find he was sorely mistaken:

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Anyway as you can tell I hate the buggy. I now have three children, and a Labrador and am forced to endure the school run where women I don't know try and discuss the price of Center Parcs holidays, and the benefits of the micro over the mini micro scooter. To summarise my life is over and this green albatross needs to go round some other poor sod's neck.

He sounds a bit like a bored housewife here, but I still can't think how he made the mistake of sprogging not once but three times. Did he learn nothing the first time?

It sounds like he wasn't properly CF but on the fence and plans regarding children weren't the deal-breaker they are to us. Maybe he thought Babies Will Make Everything Better or I'll Manage Somehow- or his rich wife would leave him if he didn't impregnate her.

I find it hard to drum up any sympathy for men who are "oopsied", especially when thousands more women become pregnant by rapists and don't even get the chance to use contraception and are then denied abortions. Unless someone is forcing all of these "oopsied" men to have unprotected sex at gunpoint then I can't see why they feel like anyone owe them sympathy.

Really more people should be honest about their feelings on sprogging. While I feel very lucky for having found a man who is averse to having children as I am, I also mentioned my aversion to sprogging early on. I needed him to know how I felt- and I felt he deserved to know how I felt as I didn't want to be one of those people who strings along someone who desperately wants to sprog. It's a deal-breaker for me, maybe breeders just don't take the issue as seriously but I wish more people would think before they sprog and avoid ending up like Whiny Duh with his green buggy here.

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Screaming Sausage
I find it hard to drum up any sympathy for men who are "oopsied", especially when thousands more women become pregnant by rapists and don't even get the chance to use contraception and are then denied abortions. Unless someone is forcing all of these "oopsied" men to have unprotected sex at gunpoint then I can't see why they feel like anyone owe them sympathy.

The guy in this post, he was not oopsed. No way. He had an ample warning of what was to come. Bay-bee strollers show up at a house for only 2 reasons. One is to be taken apart for scrap metal and plastic or to be used for its intended purpose. The one at his house, it did not show up to be taken apart.

My only sympathy in this case goes to all people who don't want to breed but do it because they feel that everyone must do it. Some do not bother to look online until it is too late. Others are stuck in a relationship with a wanna breeder and they come here looking for answers to see what all can be done. Unfortunately, separation is usually the only "fix" because person who wants to breed needs to spend about a year without a person who does not want to breed. At that point, the person who wants to breed can make a better decision about what is more important, the relationship or the breeding.

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Screaming Sausage
Really more people should be honest about their feelings on sprogging.

I agree more than 100%. Seriously, if there is a lurker out there, reading this and this lurker does not want kids but their partner does, just come out and say it. The sooner one addresses this issue the less pain it will be.

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Screaming Sausage
...I feel very lucky for having found a man who is averse to having children as I am...

And if by some odd chance you did not, I am very certain that you would not be falling for "that's what all normal people do" malarkey.

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Screaming Sausage
It's a deal-breaker for me, maybe breeders just don't take the issue as seriously but I wish more people would think before they sprog and avoid ending up like Whiny Duh with his green buggy here.

You have spoken the truth and truth is what sets people free. By being open about you being CF, you pushed away wanna breeders and you attracted a person of your own kind. Job well done. up

regarding all the Bratfree wisdom spoken in this thread....

ILL BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR !!!

... internet points to the person who points out the movie nod

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the noodler
regarding all the Bratfree wisdom spoken in this thread....

ILL BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR !!!

... internet points to the person who points out the movie nod

Robocop

(cassia holds out her virtual piggy bank)