Am I insensitive because I find this pitiful? (woman commits suicide because she isn't wed and bred by age 30)

This reminds me of the old fear tactic used that said if a woman wasn't married by 30, she had a higher chance of getting struck twice by lightning than ever tying the knot. Perhaps she heard this from her famblee and reacted in a horrible way?

I do feel some sympathy for her, even though I was into my mid forties before I ever wed. Of course, I knew I wasn't going to sluice brats, and so did my fiancé, so age didn't factor into it.

She needed therapy, not to commit suicide. I actually feel quite bad that she felt so desperate that she did this.

This is what societal and familial pressure will do to a person. It can cause an unstable person to go completely unhinged. I wouldn't doubt that there were some underlying mental issues with her.

I just hope that whatever took place that this woman was not CF being pestered by breeders. To some people being CF is a life choice but to some people being CF is just who they are. If she was CF but living and surrounded by breeders, that could have made it very difficult for her.

It makes me sad that many people in general can't be happy alone
They always have to have parents, siblings, friends bug especially a man around. This woman could have been quite talented, accomplished, smart and attractive but was giving off that clingy air of desperation and running men who might otherwise be interested off.

I personally suffer from various anxiety plus situational depression, and have in the past attempted suicide for reasonable reasons, but not for being unmarried and unslucid... good god.

I agree this unstable woman clearly needed help in some form of supporting network or counselling, but im kinda glad she died before she bred, because honestly she wouldn't have been a very stable wife, certainly not a stable mother, and yes as soon as she married and had kids, it would have clicked that its nothing special, and she would have probly killed herself then, widowing her husband and child.

I do get the feeling her family and friends look down on her and play up the im married with kids cards, to rub it in, without ever knowing how it made her feel.

now we view this as what it is, breeders putting non bred people down, causing one to actually belive there worth nothing and kill themselves. what the breeders and media seem to want to pander it as, is, see this proves everything we've been telling you about being sad and worthless without marriage and kids.

I do belive the ones that feel their not whole till they breed do tend to ruin their chances, one of my old friends was desperate to breed before she turned 30, less than two years ago she hired a match-maker then apparently started dating a guy, found out she was 5months pregnant barely a year later, got married the month after age 30, had a premature baby two weeks ago by age 31, I only found out all this with a random text after the kid was born two weeks ago, I was stunned. I've been with my partner less than two years, and couldn't imagen being married and pregnant to him after such a short time, *not that I would aloue the pregnancy part*

interestingly enough, I recently spoke to my brother who married last year, he said that married life is easier than people play it up to be.

I've always thought that marriage is no different to a relationship, just different titles, and those people who believe that everything changes once you've said I do, are just delusional, but supposedly there is a depression spike at the 6-7 month after a wedding, which is about the same point as the average divorce happens.

usually around this time, breeding couples tend to start producing baby's since the glow of marriage is wearing off.

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exile
I do belive the ones that feel their not whole till they breed do tend to ruin their chances, one of my old friends was desperate to breed before she turned 30, less than two years ago she hired a match-maker then apparently started dating a guy, found out she was 5months pregnant barely a year later, got married the month after age 30, had a premature baby two weeks ago by age 31, I only found out all this with a random text after the kid was born two weeks ago, I was stunned. I've been with my partner less than two years, and couldn't imagen being married and pregnant to him after such a short time, *not that I would aloue the pregnancy part*

Speaking of fucked up dating/marriage stories, here's one to make people cry. I have a friend who lives in another province. I may see her in person every 2 - 3 years or so. Last year I went to visit her and we got to talking about marriage and kids and she briefly spouted off the whole biological clock bullshit spiel :BS and I was like ok, whatever, not wanting to make a debate about it. A few months later, I went on vacation and when I got back I checked Fakebook and saw she was engaged, I was WTF, so I asked her about it. She tells me she met him of Plenty Of Shits and that they talked for over half a DAY and got engaged that same day. Suffice it say I'm speechless, then she tells me the wedding is in 6 weeks away. More brain crying at this. This was late last year. I suspected that there was a derp coming along relatively soon.

Sure enough, a few weeks ago I got an FB saying that Derpley is due in summer.

Normally I'm usually supportive of my friends finding a mate and hopefully happiness, but in this case the circumstances just make it difficult for me to get onboard.

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Keeper of Traken
Last year I went to visit her and we got to talking about marriage and kids and she briefly spouted off the whole biological clock bullshit spiel...

I agree that a bio clock is BS, but, there are some people out there who get a hormone rush that causes them to want to breed at any and all costs. I know several women who went through that and they did some very insane things. Some paid a very steep price, but you know how our society is and how "it's all worth it" crap is being preached.

If I had to describe this in comparison to animal world, it would be like a buck chasing some doe around in the mating season. Buck will disregard an oncoming semi-truck just to chase the doe. With some women, it is very similar. They will stop at nothing just so they could breed.

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Techie

Hmm, looking at the name of BF, it sounds a touch Eastern European to me. If that is the case, it then explains a touch better what took place here. Women definitely have the "expired by the age of 30" stamped on their foreheads in some of those places. Maybe some of that was brought to UK. But, that is just an assumption as I have zero proof of that. Names don't always mean much and just because someone is from Eastern Europe, it does not mean they cannot be CF.

On the other hand, the article said that she and her BF had a long term relationship. I have to admit, I have seen people do crazy shit when it comes to wanting to breed. Maybe she simply blew a gasket and allowed her breeding hormones to take control.

Yup, you're spot on with regard to the bf's heritage, he could be either Russian or maybe even Bulgarian, his surname is definitely not a widespread one in Russia-unless they spelled it wrong. However, people can be half something without the other half showing up in their name, or they could be born in an entirely different country which doesn't correspond to their heritage etc etc. Because this article doesn't provide any background information we're unlikely to ever find out.

I can also confirm the 'expired by the age of 30' attitude, but on the other hand there are CF people in Eastern Europe as well. I think that when people are exposed to different countries and/or cultures and ways of thinking they inadvertently soak up certain things. I mean, my friend is dating a guy from Iraq who scoffs at religion and both he and his sister are CF. Not what anyone would really expect, but it does exist. Also, if the bf was indeed hell-bent on getting her to breed before 30 he would have married her and had a bebeh with her and she wouldn't have committed suicide. Or maybe she would have found something else.

I still think that the UK is pretty open-minded and tolerant of most things, but that might be more the case in large cities. Since I only ever lived in London I only know that side of things.

In a different article on this case I read she went through his texts which then led to an argument after which he decided to leave for the night to let things cool down. The next day he found her dead in their apartment.
It also said she was unhappy because she didn't have what her siblings had, e.g. her own house. Now, I have been bingoed more about not wanting to chain myself to a mortgage in the UK than about anything else, sometimes it felt like I was a heretic denouncing the deity Mortgage of the great Home Ownership religion. If she had parents who thought like that about owning a house and having kids I imagine she was thoroughly brainwashed from day one. In any case it seems as if this girl was very insecure and needy and would have benefited from professional help.

Ah yes, the great home ownership bingo.
I heard it many times in my single days. I looked around but didn't find anything that wouldn't drain my savings. On the other hand, I knew people who bought houses who needed to have at least 2 roommates to make the mortgage but didn't bother to note they were buying in areas zoned "single family" so when various roomies moved out, left the room trashed and broken the lease they had no recourse because renting out rooms was not legal. Then the housing crisis hit and they couldn't sell so they were out on their ass when forclosure hit and they couldn't sell.
So much for "rent is throwing money away."
So is buying shit you can't pay for.

I'd take this story with a pinch of salt. Metro is basically the free version of The Daily Fail and has the same agenda of making women look as shallow, stupid, vain and baby-obsessed as possible. It sounds like this woman had serious mental health issues, and with an unsupportive, judgemental family and partner on top of that she can't have been in a good place. What was her counsellor doing talking to a newspaper anyway? Poor woman, it's just a shame she wasn't surrounded with people who loved her and valued her regardless of the path she chose in life.

As for home ownership, us Brits seem to have a peculiar obsession with buying property when people in other EU countries have no problem with renting- "an Englishman's home is his castle" and "is it really your home if you don't own it?" are two common bingoes here. I've been bingoed for complaining about bad landlords, with people telling me that if I just worked harder I'd be able to buy my own place, like everyone who rents is lazy and deserves to be exploited, and like home ownership is a problem-free piece of cake which is always better than renting in every case.

I just remember what my mother used to say whenever I tried to discuss one of my problems with her and she couldn't be arsed to listen: "You don't have any real problems until you have kids and a mortgage". Needless to say I never found the whole mortgage + kids deal particularly appealing.

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Techie
I agree that a bio clock is BS, but, there are some people out there who get a hormone rush that causes them to want to breed at any and all costs. I know several women who went through that and they did some very insane things. Some paid a very steep price, but you know how our society is and how "it's all worth it" crap is being preached.

If I had to describe this in comparison to animal world, it would be like a buck chasing some doe around in the mating season. Buck will disregard an oncoming semi-truck just to chase the doe. With some women, it is very similar. They will stop at nothing just so they could breed.

Plenty of men too! I'm convinced a lot of men have a "marriage and baybees clock". Surely we've all known at least one of those men who spend 5-10 years in a relationship with a woman and who never propose despite her dropping hints about marriage, or who discuss the whole marriage and babies thing and proudly proclaim that it's not for them... and then three months after they break up they're announcing their engagement to someone they've known for two months, and within a few months of the wedding they're announcing the impending arrival of that baybee they never wanted...

Seriously, I've lost count of the men I've known who have done this, and they all seem to have been around 30 when they decided to ditch their long-term partner and then make a commitment to their whirlwind romance. What makes them do it? Do they realise they've been in a bad relationship and decide to "seize the day" by doing something rash? Is it a form of mid-life crisis? Is it a hormone rush? Is a wife a status symbol and is there a feeling that a man who hasn't found himself a wife is a failure?

It's impossible to know the real story from an article but from what i understood she already had some issues and if we take into account societal and family pressure which is worse for a woman then we have a recipe for disaster. Not everybody is strong enough to stand the pressure and if you have the bad luck to be in some uber breederific circles then it's really bad. Even people who can ignore the pressure and continuous messages about the big 30 - biological clock, get annoyed sometimes at this constant societal nagging.

I sympathize because i've been through a very rough period lately and i was almost on the point of starting taking anti-depressants again. One of my (young) work colleagues and friend died of cancer at the end of last year. She had it before but managed to fight it off, the disease came back and there was nothing that could be done anymore. It affected me very bad. Add to that two very annoying persons when upon finding out the first question was "did she have kids?"...she didn't and one person had this kind of attitude that "oh, it wasn't that tragic then" and the second said that she would have had time to have if she hurried up. That made me extremely angry.
Add to that my FIL who started showing his grandbrats rabies and MIL who ignored me for two days when upon seeing a childbirth scene i mentioned the damages done to the twat in the process. There goes the understanding parents in law. eyes2 Did i mention i am one year away from the big 30?

I imagine depression or another mental illness played a role. People rarely off themselves without it. What seems like a surmountable problem to a normal person can be all blown out of proportion to someone with depression. No telling how much flack she took for being childless and unwed either. People can be cruel as fuck. :scr

Yet another reason you shouldn't make things like marriage and childbearing by a certain age a goal. Those things are really out of your control. Do other things with your time in case those things fall through, at least. Go to school, build a career, travel, etc.

I cannot help but wonder, what is it that makes people think that marriage is a path to happiness? It is a coin toss at best being that divorce rate is 50/50.

In real life, I hear more people bitch about their breeder or wanna breeder SO than they do about being single. Comments towards me get really messed up too. People (mostly women) tell me that I am usually happy because I like being single. Of course, I enjoy what I have, why not? I am not against relationships but if I am not in one, I enjoy what I have. People seem to interpret it as I am a playa and I like being that way. What an old fashioned kind of a world that we live in.

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Techie
I cannot help but wonder, what is it that makes people think that marriage is a path to happiness? It is a coin toss at best being that divorce rate is 50/50.

In real life, I hear more people bitch about their breeder or wanna breeder SO than they do about being single. Comments towards me get really messed up too. People (mostly women) tell me that I am usually happy because I like being single. Of course, I enjoy what I have, why not? I am not against relationships but if I am not in one, I enjoy what I have. People seem to interpret it as I am a playa and I like being that way. What an old fashioned kind of a world that we live in.

ITA, Techie. I was single for many years, and enjoyed it very much. Now that I'm married, I enjoy that too. I don't think that the answer to happiness is marriage, but then again, I never have.

I still struggle with my day-to-day shit, just like when I was single and living alone. That stuff doesn't change after marriage. It's nice to have someone to talk to about things when they get rough, but that's what partnership is about to me. Sharing struggles and having companionship with someone you love, who holds the same values. If you can't find those in another person, you are just as well off being alone and enjoying your life as it is.

Actually most if not all the men I know, get close to 30, and suddenly rush into marriage and babies, or yes break off years of claiming not to want marrage or babies in committed relationships for a new female whome they instainly marry and breed with.

Supposedly they reckon they were more able to tell who they wanted to settle down with around 30.

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screaming sausage
As for home ownership, us Brits seem to have a peculiar obsession with buying property when people in other EU countries have no problem with renting- "an Englishman's home is his castle" and "is it really your home if you don't own it?" are two common bingoes here. I've been bingoed for complaining about bad landlords, with people telling me that if I just worked harder I'd be able to buy my own place, like everyone who rents is lazy and deserves to be exploited, and like home ownership is a problem-free piece of cake which is always better than renting in every case.

I can speak for both, having both a home and an apartment in Big City, where my job is. I enjoy being able to simply go out to a web page and fill out a work order when my garbage disposal cacked, the ceiling fan lights need to be changed or the smoke alarm went on the fritz. It's also pretty damned nice that my balcony is painted regularly and the nice landscaping is attended to. However, my home is where I have my own self-controlled environment, which is absolutely imperative for many of us. Living in a rural area, on acreage, we probably have a lot more control than people in the 'burbs, but that was another factor in the choice.

We know that home ownership isn't really an economically favorable condition for most, unless you live in an area where the value rises. Even then, there is usally a downside of being in a higher cost-of-living area. But, again, the keyword is control. I can have my 5 dogs, 1 cat and a bird. I can sand down my kitchen cabinets and repaint them when I get tired of the current finish, I can tear out the execrable carpet that came with the place and put down laminate, I can redo my bathrooms in a more up-to-date style when a new design comes on the market.

The fact that the US housing market blew up in 2008 and fouled the economy like a backed up toilet is due to the idiotic choices people made, that banks supported. It impacted those of us who made wise choices about home ownership as well (we paid off our house in 5 years because of what we chose and and how we managed our money).

To me, the choice between renting and owning comes down to freedom and control. Renters have the freedom to pull up stakes whenever the neighborhood starts to go downhill or they get tired of their place. Owners are able to shape their immediate environment to suit their needs/tastes. It is analogous to being introverted or extroverted. People make the choice to rent or own (well, some would like to own, but can't) based on their own character design and neither way is wrong.

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Dorisan
To me, the choice between renting and owning comes down to freedom and control. Renters have the freedom to pull up stakes whenever the neighborhood starts to go downhill or they get tired of their place. Owners are able to shape their immediate environment to suit their needs/tastes. It is analogous to being introverted or extroverted. People make the choice to rent or own (well, some would like to own, but can't) based on their own character design and neither way is wrong.

I would like to rent but can't because of breeders and howling brats. Been there and could not take it now. Unless CF buildings are allowed - lol- I will not be able to rent until I get a room in the nursing home. Retirement communities don't count because of grandbrats and "exceptions" for screw-up adult kids and their spawn.

Having to live with breeders and brats is one of the few things that could make me suicidal at this point in my life.

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blondie
I would like to rent but can't because of breeders and howling brats. Been there and could not take it now. Unless CF buildings are allowed - lol- I will not be able to rent until I get a room in the nursing home. Retirement communities don't count because of grandbrats and "exceptions" for screw-up adult kids and their spawn.

Having to live with breeders and brats is one of the few things that could make me suicidal at this point in my life.

No brats in my apartment block, but I seem to be stuck with neighbors (young folks in their mid-late 20s) who grew up without anyone telling them "no." As in "no, you can't play loud music at 3am. no you can't work on your latest installation art project past quiet hours (it involves a lot of drilling and hammering)." My complaints about the noise have been addressed, but the fact that I have to complain boggles me. I knew going in what behavior would bother other people, apparently those younger folks did not, or they don't care.

There's a block of apartments near mine that are age restricted (over 55). I give them yearning looks when I go on walks in warm weather. From scanning the balconies and parking, I've not seen much evidence of brats, even on weekends. No mini-vans, no toys on the balconies, no kids going in or out. It looks like they are firmly managed. Maybe that's why there's a long ass waiting list to get in. I turn 55 in a few weeks and would be eligible, so I checked, just out of curiosity. The fact that I hope to stop working in the next year or so and be permanently home is what cools my persistance.

I am sort of lucky. I live in a luxury apartment complex in the middle of gangsta city. The city where I live is totally fucked up in that there is no economic class divisions whatsoever with regards to city organization. So no breeders because they are afraid of the gangbangers, who don't really bother anyone except for each other.

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mistress rotwang
I am sort of lucky. I live in a luxury apartment complex in the middle of gangsta city. The city where I live is totally fucked up in that there is no economic class divisions whatsoever with regards to city organization. So no breeders because they are afraid of the gangbangers, who don't really bother anyone except for each other.

I have lived in a big city among people who did not have perfect record, to say the least. It was on the West Coast, in my case. In my experience, I have found out that gang bangers breed too and they let their kids roam the street at any time. Stuff gets damaged, stolen, so on. Their mom usually does not give 2 shits and their dad, if he is around, he is too busy doing his own thing.

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exile
Actually most if not all the men I know, get close to 30, and suddenly rush into marriage and babies, or yes break off years of claiming not to want marrage or babies in committed relationships for a new female whome they instainly marry and breed with.

Supposedly they reckon they were more able to tell who they wanted to settle down with around 30.

Hormonal rush, desire to breed, family pressures, age awareness, so on...

Many men, many different reasons. 30 is not the "magic number" but some men feel that once they hit 30, they are running out of time to breed. Because by the time their kid is 20, they will be 50. I think that is their thinking.

All that "not wanting marriage/committed relationship", there is an explanation for that too. Some men are so high on their horse that any woman that they come across who gives them her time, they feel they need to shut her down because "there are better ones out there". Their mommy has been treating them like a precious snowflake for so long, they self elevate their value to the point that no woman can match it. By the time they hit 30, they take what is there at that moment because breeding can no longer wait or they simply realize that all this time they have been pricing themselves out of the market and drove away some good women.

This does not really apply to CF men because they don't care about breeding and that removes the "deadline". On the other hand, CF men have to be a little more careful or the relationship that they end up with could be with wanna breeder - not fun.

I think that wanna breeder men have it backwards. They think that if they find that "better" woman, their life will be better. What they do not understand is that they are making a mistake. No woman is responsible for making their life better. If they cannot enjoy life alone, there will be very little that their partner can do for them.

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Techie

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mistress rotwang
I am sort of lucky. I live in a luxury apartment complex in the middle of gangsta city. The city where I live is totally fucked up in that there is no economic class divisions whatsoever with regards to city organization. So no breeders because they are afraid of the gangbangers, who don't really bother anyone except for each other.

I have lived in a big city among people who did not have perfect record, to say the least. It was on the West Coast, in my case. In my experience, I have found out that gang bangers breed too and they let their kids roam the street at any time. Stuff gets damaged, stolen, so on. Their mom usually does not give 2 shits and their dad, if he is around, he is too busy doing his own thing.

The apartment complex is gated so they can't get in.