Have more chyldrens - that way they can bully each other.

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/sibling-bullying-more-common-schoolyard-torment-study-shows-n308446

Well, turns out that siblings torture each other more than school yard bullies. Imagine that.

NBC News Link

Ya don't say!

Quote

One criticism of the research comes from a surprising source. Ross Ellis, a real-estate agent who founded the non-profit advocacy group Stomp Out Bullying, said the friction is being overblown.

"This is sibling rivalry that started in ancient days and will continue in future days," she said. "Bullying is just the hot buzzword today."

I kinda see that. It can be seen as evolutionary behavior. Certainly, rivarly is promulgated in family relationships when it comes to inheritance and favoritism. Also, a sense of responsibility that the parents mandate to one sibling over the others can become skewed and abusive.

Personally, when one of my siblings picked on me, a swift and brutal smackdown usually settled things. It was way different than being bullied at school.

My brother and sister (3 years apart) fought like cat and dog. With the large age gap, they always kinda looked up to me, until they were at that horrid prepubescent stage, at which point they started to figure out the whole half sibling thing and would say stuff to me like "Daddy loves us more than you because he's married to our mummy and not yours". But mostly, they fought with each other. My sister always got the blame because bro is the baby, of course, and the Golden Penis.

Bullying is a form of social correction, unfortunately children are little savages who don't know any actual truths of the world so their input is hardly useful. Usually it's the one kid who "doesn't fit the mold" who it fucked with. And those are often the brightest, free thinking people. Bullying children should be smacked around a little, but bullying teens, that's different. That shit can lead to suicide a host of other issues.

I was bullied by older siblings too. Some of it physical, some mental, but in most cases, my parents did nothing to stop it and in some cases, even defended what the others did to me.

The part I find really strange is the mention that kids who bully at school are bullied at home. I was bullied a lot in school, and teachers always made that kind of excuse for the bullies--I guess I don't understand why someone who was subjected to bullying would do it to other people, since presumably they should know how much it sucks. (I never bullied people because, having dealt with a ton of it myself, I didn't want to put anyone else through it.) Some kids must just be completely lacking in empathy.
On a related note, I had a boss who, in his 50s, still bragged about how funny he thought he was for bullying other kids at school when he was a kid. Is it just me, or is that really fucked up? (I might add that I ended up quitting that job--he was really fucked up for a lot more reasons than just that.)

I have a cousin who was the biggest bully when we were little. He is just a bit younger than me and as the first boy baby of that side of the family's cousins, was enraged that he wasn't also the oldest. As a good misogynist mormon in training, he looked out for ways to "take me down a notch", since I was uppity enough to have presumed to be born first, he needed to "show me my place".
Naturally, I despised him for being shitty to me.

Strangely, after he got married, I overheard his wife having a pity party for him over how much he was bullied in high school, where they met.
I was a little glad he eventually got a taste of his own medicine. He's still a gross person.

I think the glossing over of sibling bullying is, SURPRISE!!!, to justify moo and duhs multi sprogging.
screw the younger kid if the oldest is a typical piece of shit. they just wanna breed.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Quote
twocents
I think the glossing over of sibling bullying is, SURPRISE!!!, to justify moo and duhs multi sprogging.
screw the younger kid if the oldest is a typical piece of shit. they just wanna breed.

I totally believe this. Moos and duhs use the excuse about how wonderful it is for their child to have siblings, but really, most of these moos and duhs have had siblings themselves and have likely experienced bullying from them, or they WERE the bullies themselves. It's just another excuse to serial breed.

It's definitely glossed over, and while it isn't ok I actually kind of get why it happens in some circumstances. I am the older sibling and I did bully my sister who is three years younger than me. Nothing incredibly horrible, but I did intentionally pick on her - though I definitely got in trouble for it. It wasn't ok of me. While I kind of feel bad about it and I know I should feel worse...I just kind of don't.

At the time, I did not want a younger sibling in any way shape or form. I remember, even though I was very young, being incredibly upset about this new wailing thing (my sister had a colic..fun) taking all my parents' attention. It didn't help that she was (and still is) obviously favored by my mom. My mom chalked it up to "oh, you're just so different" and used that as an excuse since it was easy to do - as people we are night and day.

My sister is a flaky creative artist type - she's actually really good at what she does but incredibly irresponsible in terms of managing necessary everyday things like budgets, being breaking three iPhones in three months/not borrowing my corporate blackberry without telling me and then accidentally taking it home with her several states away. My mom laughs it off as "just how she is". I am a perpetually punctual anxiety ridden worrywart attorney and she would have my hide if I pulled similar shit.

She's also the special snowflake type that must not only be unique and different , but give people incredible amounts of crap for doing anything she thinks is "conformist" like listening to popular music. I don't think I conveyed it well, but it is coupled with extensive nosey/judgey questions (i.e. "do you work to live or live to work...like do you really think its fulfilling to be a tax attorney?") and exhausting to deal with constantly. My mom encourages this - she allows her to lay into me for "giving up real dreams to join the grind" and other judgmental bullshit interrogation, but jumps to her defense should I turn the question back on her. For years I thought I was being too sensitive, but its apparently obvious to everyone - my friends, Mr. Bratty (my mom sits there while she takes "joking" jab after jab at him, the second Mr. Bratty jokes back at her expense its all mama bear), my stepmom, my dad, Mr. Bratty's parents, my assistant at work, my old school teachers, my mom's manicurist, our veterinarian...

My therapist thinks that since I was a well adjusted and conventionally attractive child and she was the brooding kid with behavioral problems that didn't fit in, this is my mom's way of overcompensating, with a touch of martyrdom thrown in. So my sister was the one doted on, and in the light of the obvious favoritism, bullying was my reaction. As the favoritism continues to the present, I don't feel incredibly bad about it as a result. I am not excusing sibling bullying, but I do think it happens in some cases because the kid simply does not want a younger sibling yet has no choice in the matter and acts out as a resort.

/end ramble. That was a very long way to say that obvious favortism + not wanting a sibling in the first place = trying to vaccum your younger sister's hair.

Quote
catharsist
Bullying is a form of social correction, unfortunately children are little savages who don't know any actual truths of the world so their input is hardly useful. Usually it's the one kid who "doesn't fit the mold" who it fucked with. And those are often the brightest, free thinking people. Bullying children should be smacked around a little, but bullying teens, that's different. That shit can lead to suicide a host of other issues.

I found it to be fun to bully the bully. In many cases, they act all tough but they do crack and when they do, it is fun.

I think that bullies, deep on the inside, they know that a kid who "doesn't fit the mold", that kid is going to do very well later in life. Jealousy eats bully up on the inside so they feel that they have to go and abuse someone to compensate for their inner misery.

Perhaps this sibling bullying is pat of something more messed up. Perhaps this could be sort of familial version of evolutionary 'strongest will thrive' with a secondary aspect of some bizarre strengthening/ negative reinforcement exercise. I know that lots of moos and duhs play favortism with their kids, even when strongly denying it. Perhaps the victor in bullying achieves higher standing with the parents. It's certainly the case in my family where my eldest was the prime bully, and mercilessly tormented both my sister and I, and yet he's a complete irresponsible flake and head case, he's never lost the parental crowning of golden penis (it also helps to be the firstborn heir too). Clickey, some parents are truly screwed.

Quote
Techie
I found it to be fun to bully the bully. In many cases, they act all tough but they do crack and when they do, it is fun.

Something ALL bullies have in common is an ability to dish it out but no ability to take it. Bullies get used to their power over others and they take pride in it so when a bully finds themselves squirming helplessly on on the receiving end they can't handle the shame and humiliation at all and have a complete meltdown. They're bad losers, pretty much.

I really hate hearing breeders say "It's cruel to have just one isn't it?" My younger sister was the worst "gift" my parents ever "gave" me. As the Golden Child desperate to keep her place at the top, she was a vicious and manipulative bully from the day she could talk and sucked up to our parents relentlessly while striving to make me look bad and keep me in their bad books. When I tried to tell them about her spiteful ways I'd always be cut off with "Your sister is the best friend you've got- and you'd better learn to appreciate that because one day you'll need her". It always sounded like a threat: "Put up with her shit- or else". Naturally, her spiteful behaviour got more dangerous and serious as we got older and when we reached adulthood it ended up being her who needed me and me being the one who told her to fuck off. Seriously, if I heard she'd died tomorrow I'd feel nothing but an enormous sense of relief.

I remember watching an interview with the late, great author Iain Banks where he was asked if he had ever felt sad about being an only child. His reply was something like "Oh no- siblings fight like cats and dogs!" He was CF too...

Bearing in mind that I'm not a psychologist I have noticed a few things about kids that bully siblings. From what I have seen there is almost always blatant favoritism by one or both of the parents. As a result it seems that either the favored child bullies the other because they know they can get away with it or the other bullies the golden child out of anger over being ignored. Either way it certainly seems to be the parent's fault. Not that the Moos and Duhs would admit to that.

Quote
starvingauthor
Bearing in mind that I'm not a psychologist I have noticed a few things about kids that bully siblings. From what I have seen there is almost always blatant favoritism by one or both of the parents. As a result it seems that either the favored child bullies the other because they know they can get away with it or the other bullies the golden child out of anger over being ignored. Either way it certainly seems to be the parent's fault. Not that the Moos and Duhs would admit to that.

Sometimes the bully is just a bully or a sociopath, they do it to other people too. The poor sibling of a natural sociopath has no chance, there isn't much of a way to fight back because their thinking is so evil and twisted. Parents usually ignore and/or defend the psycho because who wants to admit they bred and are raising a psycho.

Sometimes parents will play sibs against each other and it can trigger rivalry that results in bullying. Most of the time it seems there is one kid who is really good at it so that one wins because the other sib(s) get so beaten down. Good parenting there.

I wonder how many "accidental" child deaths are murders not by the parents but by a sibling enabled and protected by the parents.

Quote
blondie

Quote
starvingauthor
Bearing in mind that I'm not a psychologist I have noticed a few things about kids that bully siblings. From what I have seen there is almost always blatant favoritism by one or both of the parents. As a result it seems that either the favored child bullies the other because they know they can get away with it or the other bullies the golden child out of anger over being ignored. Either way it certainly seems to be the parent's fault. Not that the Moos and Duhs would admit to that.

Sometimes the bully is just a bully or a sociopath, they do it to other people too. The poor sibling of a natural sociopath has no chance, there isn't much of a way to fight back because their thinking is so evil and twisted. Parents usually ignore and/or defend the psycho because who wants to admit they bred and are raising a psycho.

Sometimes parents will play sibs against each other and it can trigger rivalry that results in bullying. Most of the time it seems there is one kid who is really good at it so that one wins because the other sib(s) get so beaten down. Good parenting there.

I wonder how many "accidental" child deaths are murders not by the parents but by a sibling enabled and protected by the parents.

This is a popular theory of JonBenet Ramsey's murder. Her brother was reported to have some serious psychological problems before she was killed. He was probably jealous of all the attention she was getting being a kiddie pageant winner and I have the thought that he might have been molesting her, too. He kills his sister, whether on accident or on purpose, and the parents cover it up.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

Quote
brattymcpants
She's also the special snowflake type that must not only be unique and different , but give people incredible amounts of crap for doing anything she thinks is "conformist" like listening to popular music. I don't think I conveyed it well, but it is coupled with extensive nosey/judgey questions (i.e. "do you work to live or live to work...like do you really think its fulfilling to be a tax attorney?") and exhausting to deal with constantly. My mom encourages this - she allows her to lay into me for "giving up real dreams to join the grind" and other judgmental bullshit interrogation, but jumps to her defense should I turn the question back on her. For years I thought I was being too sensitive, but its apparently obvious to everyone - my friends, Mr. Bratty (my mom sits there while she takes "joking" jab after jab at him, the second Mr. Bratty jokes back at her expense its all mama bear), my stepmom, my dad, Mr. Bratty's parents, my assistant at work, my old school teachers, my mom's manicurist, our veterinarian...

Your sister and mother sound incredibly jealous of you to me (and for your sister especially this could be expanded to include just about anyone who displays some degree of success) with this sour grape attitude. Jealous party of twooooo

If she was truly content with her life she wouldn't feel the need for such passive-aggression!

Has she done anything of value with her life? Improved the world with her special snowflake worthiness?

Quote
catharsist
Bullying is a form of social correction, unfortunately children are little savages who don't know any actual truths of the world so their input is hardly useful.

I recall the vast majority of children I grew up around were absolute assholes. The decent ones were few and far between. Reason number 50000000 I knew I'd never sprog. As a child I couldn't bear the thought of potentially bringing another asshole into the world!

Quote
saturnian catalina
The part I find really strange is the mention that kids who bully at school are bullied at home. I was bullied a lot in school, and teachers always made that kind of excuse for the bullies--I guess I don't understand why someone who was subjected to bullying would do it to other people, since presumably they should know how much it sucks. (I never bullied people because, having dealt with a ton of it myself, I didn't want to put anyone else through it.)

I was bullied at home and school. For the lucky days when I wasn't the target I would do whatever possible to blend into the background and stay far away from the bullies. When I was younger I would try to defend others who were being bullied but that only added a target to my back, so I stopped. And the idiot adults who said to just ignore the bullying were 100% wrong, those brats would jump on any/every chance they had to bully others any time an adult wasn't supervising.

Quote
freya

Quote
saturnian catalina
The part I find really strange is the mention that kids who bully at school are bullied at home. I was bullied a lot in school, and teachers always made that kind of excuse for the bullies--I guess I don't understand why someone who was subjected to bullying would do it to other people, since presumably they should know how much it sucks. (I never bullied people because, having dealt with a ton of it myself, I didn't want to put anyone else through it.)

I was bullied at home and school. For the lucky days when I wasn't the target I would do whatever possible to blend into the background and stay far away from the bullies. When I was younger I would try to defend others who were being bullied but that only added a target to my back, so I stopped. And the idiot adults who said to just ignore the bullying were 100% wrong, those brats would jump on any/every chance they had to bully others any time an adult wasn't supervising.

I too stuck up for "underdogs" when they got bullied. I did not make friends with bullies like that, but, it made me feel good on the inside. There is one that I remember that turned out really well.

Back in junior high, there was this unattractive girl who a bully used to pick on. I eventually told the bully to knock it off and they did, for the most part but bully did continue to hide her stuff every now and then. Well, I'd watch the bully and see what they did and would later return the stuff to that girl.

About 15 years later, I was out of high school and out of college, I had a problem with my eye. I went from one doctor to another to another to no avail. I eventually went to a high end clinic to get it looked at by the very best of the eye doctors. As I was sitting in the room not suspecting a thing, a doctor walks into a room. She looked familiar but I did not exactly remember who she was. Well, she remembered me. It was that one girl who I looked out for in junior high. She was now a top notch eye doctor. She personally followed thru with my treatment and my eye has been healthy ever since.

Take that you bully fucks! Look, I stuck up for a "geek" who later saved my eye sight. What exactly do you bully fucks get out of bulling other kids? Instant gratification? I am a living proof that what goes around, comes around.

Quote

This is a popular theory of JonBenet Ramsey's murder. Her brother was reported to have some serious psychological problems before she was killed. He was probably jealous of all the attention she was getting being a kiddie pageant winner and I have the thought that he might have been molesting her, too. He kills his sister, whether on accident or on purpose, and the parents cover it up.

I've always thought that was the case. The ransom note was written in Patsy's handwriting on her note pad using her pen, John Ramsey invited all those people into the house to tramp around the crime scene, the garrotte was made from materials in the home, and there were fresh pineapple chunks in JonBenet's stomach and the bowl of pineapple in the refridgerator had her brother's fingerprints. How anyone could look at those facts and think a stranger broke in (without leaving any sign!) is beyond me.

Quote
starvingauthor
Bearing in mind that I'm not a psychologist I have noticed a few things about kids that bully siblings. From what I have seen there is almost always blatant favoritism by one or both of the parents. As a result it seems that either the favored child bullies the other because they know they can get away with it or the other bullies the golden child out of anger over being ignored. Either way it certainly seems to be the parent's fault. Not that the Moos and Duhs would admit to that.

I've read a few articles on narcissistic parenting which suggest that the Golden Child bullies the Scapegoat as a way of clinging onto their position as the favourite- because a Narcissist's "love" is conditional and has to be earned. The Golden Child may attack the Scapegoat just to stay on their parents' "side", and to keep the Scapegoat in their place so they can avoid being made the Scapegoat themselves. Also narcissists are often careful to avoid physical abuse that might leave proof such as bruises or scars, so the Golden Child may physically attack the Scapegoat, knowing that they'll get the approval of their parents for doing their dirty work for them. Basically it's all about being compliant, because narcissistic parents tend to favour the most compliant child and ostracise any who dare to defy them. The articles I read certainly explained a lot about my sister's behaviour, even if they didn't excuse it.

Quote
Techie
Back in junior high, there was this unattractive girl who a bully used to pick on. I eventually told the bully to knock it off and they did, for the most part but bully did continue to hide her stuff every now and then. Well, I'd watch the bully and see what they did and would later return the stuff to that girl.

About 15 years later, I was out of high school and out of college, I had a problem with my eye. I went from one doctor to another to another to no avail. I eventually went to a high end clinic to get it looked at by the very best of the eye doctors. As I was sitting in the room not suspecting a thing, a doctor walks into a room. She looked familiar but I did not exactly remember who she was. Well, she remembered me. It was that one girl who I looked out for in junior high. She was now a top notch eye doctor. She personally followed thru with my treatment and my eye has been healthy ever since.

Take that you bully fucks! Look, I stuck up for a "geek" who later saved my eye sight. What exactly do you bully fucks get out of bulling other kids? Instant gratification? I am a living proof that what goes around, comes around.

Hehehe, nice... Here's a story you'll like, Techie:

Be careful who you swear at on the train

Screaming Sausage, story was awesome, I loved it. Here is the thing. People who get bullied are often the ones who have more brains. They learn a lot, they study hard and they get into places and they often hold high positions. If these bullies knew who they are messing with, maybe they would think twice.