Having a baybee does change you completely

Obvious statement for most of you but i've actually never noticed so closely smb's change after giving birth. It's about a former university colleague. We used to keep in touch over FB from time to time but things have gotten cold lately. She had a baby a while ago. That wasn't the problem but i noticed she changed completely.

She used to be a very open-minded, non-judgemental person, not really carying about healthy stuff, enjoying heavy metal a lot and being quite fond of politics and history. In the last time i noticed that everything she likes or she posts is about baybee stuff.

One of her mommy friends posted a link of the kind "x things non-parents should stop saying to parents". They got into the discussion and i happened to see the comments on my feed. This so-called friend got out so many bingoes like "they are just saying that but wait until they have kids" or "i know now why my childless friends are so bitter and defensive, they told me how bad it would be when the baybee arrives but it's not at all". Once she even told me that she totally understand the CF and parenthood shouldn't be put on a pedestal (before she had the baybee of course).

Besides that she posts all kinds of links against vaccines and everything that has to do with modern medicine is bad. She posted a link from the dickhead Matt Walsh, who describes the negative effects of BC pills with lots of links to pro-life sites. Note: i am well aware of the side effects of the pill but read the article to see why it upset me...do you smell some fundy matt walsh shit there?

I commented that the pills helped me to overcome very painful, heavy, irregular periods which sent me to hospital few times and other medicines have also bad side effects but are not so demonized as the pill. Oh my, a bunch of mombies jumped at my throat that the pill is a threat to feminity, that we are sex objects because of it blah blah. I said that they must have never had so bad periods otherwise they wouldn't be so fast to judge. Of course i was told about the natchural ways (including natchural family planning which for them worked wonderseyes2).
Natchural ways which for me were useless. Instead of the pill i had to take very strong painkillers in order to function. You know some of us have to keep a job to survive, not sit on their asses, read matt walsh articles and having a wallet for support.

Besides that she complains all the time that parents are so judgemental and she is judged so fiercely after having the kid. The irony here is that she turned into one of those judgemental, narrow-minded people.

Another one bites the dust

I always have extremely low expectations when it comes to someone who is CL. Once they have that kid it is all different and their CF firends are gone.

Yup, parenting makes you a different person, not a better one. Usually a more self-centered one.

Growing up, I had several female relatives who swore that they would not get married, have kids, all that. Well, one of these relatives, closest one to my age, she got knocked up at ripe age of 20. I carefully approached the subject and told her that since she claimed that she did not want to have kids, she should abort - now.

Ladies and gentlemen, you should have seen her flip a bitch. Holy flying fuck! I was ridiculed, was told I was out of my mind, was acused of making shit up, was told to shut the fuck up and that "nobody aborts the first chyld, because ya know, things could get damaged and having more chyldrens in the future will not be possible".

Yes, BlackPearl, I know EXACTLY what are you talking about. Having a baybee changes a person from a human being to a drone minded self centered bitch. My relative changed the second she announced her surprise and according to her, I have been an asshole ever since. Every time her kid would do something messed up and I tell my female relative to look after her kid, her response was: "And you, you shut your damn fucking trap altogether, nobody wants to hear any of your stupid crap". Yeah, need I add that she is a dedicated Cat-lick too? Some say she is just a "momma bear", but as for me, I keep my distance.

Yeah it makes them paranoid schizoids

I think it's time to pull out the pictures of exotic places you want to visit. Maybe post the itinerary for a cruise somewhere. And don't forget to put a countdown next to it.

You never SAID you were going

If the herd is as dumb as it is, it won't be long before she starts making passive-aggressive remarks about how the CF have all this money and blah blah.

Entertainment at the least.

Yeah, I hear ya. Watched a friend turn into a narrow-minded, diaper-huffing idiot. She now posts crap about kids and child development, etc. And about how we need to act NOW on climate change for the future. She's always believed in minimal impact life, being environmentally conscious, etc. Even works for a company that plugs alternative energy sources. But NOTHING she does will offset the carbon footprint of those two little consumers she produced. And she fucking WORSHIPS them. So sad to see someone vanish down the drain like that....

Most mombies practise double standards. They accuse people of judging them and their pahrunting styles, while they theselves engage in judging the ebil CF. :eyebrows
That guy matt walsh doesn't even know what feminism stands for! And unless you're biologically a woman, you can't write any shit for or against the use of BC.
My views.

as sad to say as it is, I think there is a good number of real child free people out there, and the problem is we find friends who are actually childless, but don't know the difference, one minute toting about how stupid breeders are, the next announcing their pregnancy's as if its a good thing.

I believe a lot of it lies with them thinking that the CF are actually CL like they are, thinking that its just a stage of frustration from not being able to have kids yet, trying to agree firmly with our beliefs as if it'll help us through this difficult time, together.

hoping that as soon as one of them has become pregnant, the whole surprise im not really child free, will return a surprise me neither, that their expecting to happen, of course when it doesn't, they start to think that were all childish, and need to grow up like they have, as if we're really just super jealous.

all this of course fuels the CL now breeders ideas that CF are really all just CL longing for children of there own, like they were. instead of considering that were not, never were or will be like them, and accepting us for it.

as for the bc pills, I use them myself, my mum has endometriosis, so she's on them till she finishes menopause, she had me checked out soon as I started my periods, no issues, said soon as I got a boyfriend, I had to go on the bc pills, this was no question, I was brought up to believe they were the norm and I couldn't have sex without them, till I got old enough to know that's not true, but I didn't want to risk getting pregnant, so on them I went.

I go off them when im single because I stay single for 3-4 years between partners, and go on them soon as I've got a date lined up. its a no brainer, I've had two scares from starting them late, while im good with the idea of getting an abortion if I needed one, I sure as shit don't want to have to go through getting one, which means prevent it from happening in the first place.

I also don't think that any guy really has a right to comment as in make blogs about the use of BC pils, because how da fuck would he know what's better than the ones using it.

I've been on like 4 different ones.

1. super testosterone, made me aggressive, and hostile, but men didn't even appear on my sexual radar, they just blended into the crowd.
2. super mood swings, one minute crying for no reason, the next wanting to break your arm off.
3. to weak, didn't cover my cycle strongly enough, kept getting break through or periods every 2 weeks, aside from the excessive blood loss, left me on the prowl constantly
4. finally, now were getting somewhere, generally good coverage, don't trust it enough to go condom-less but only real downside is I have two mood options for period time, ready to pick a fight, or bawling my eyes out hating everything, so its kinda like #2, but only for 1 week

anyone else see this blogger fail to stand up and offer to take the experimental male birth control pill instead, just so us @#$%& folk arnt "oppressed and liberated from our nature"

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sue_basu
Most mombies practise double standards. They accuse people of judging them and their pahrunting styles, while they theselves engage in judging the ebil CF. :eyebrows
That guy matt walsh doesn't even know what feminism stands for! And unless you're biologically a woman, you can't write any shit for or against the use of BC.
My views.

I somewhat disagree. I am not biologically a woman, but I fully support the availability of BC to women. I am also in favor of over-the-counter BC.

Now, men who speak out against BC for women - they should not have that right. Any "moral" grounds statements are not valid arguments and should not ever be given a time in a court of law.

I go one step further - NO MALE should have a right to speak out against abortions. NONE. To me, it isn't about just women's rights, it is about human rights in general. To me, when men speak against abortions, they sound dictator like, there is just something very oppressive about it. On the other hand, all men SHOULD support rights to abortions. The person who's life could be in danger could be a woman who is very important to them. I feel that when men speak out against abortions, they may as well wear a dark ages robe and start witch trials.

Urgh, she sounds like such a smug, self-centered idiot!

I absolutely hate all these fear mongering 'news' websites and the harm they do. Stupid gullible people actually believe all the crap that's written in the articles published by these sites and try to indoctrinate others around them. I really don't understand how it can be legal for an unqualified person to give what amounts to medical advice. Yeah, I know they always have a disclaimer stating that the site is actually a collection of fairy tales and shouldn't be taken seriously, but people never scroll down to that part.

Out of curiosity I clicked on that Matt Walsh article link and oh my Doberman! Did that dude actually read what he wrote? eyes2 The part about the kemikuls in the pill altering a woman's taste in men is especially ridiculous. It gets rehashed every now and then by men who can't get a woman and then find something, anything, to blame it on instead of looking at themselves in the mirror first.

Personally, I would unfriend this person. It's one thing to quietly and peacefully live in accordance with your own principles but an entirely different one if you start foisting these principles upon others. Who do these mombies think they are to plug natchurul kures whn they know nothing? If the pill works for you and makes you feel good, why should you stop taking it and why do they feel entitled to attack you? :headbrick It really does seem that having kyds makes people's brains rot.

The thing is that this friend was so cool before, i would have never guessed she can change so much. Ok, i don't mind that she is interested in baby stuff, it's normal once you have a baby but becoming so judgemental against people without kids (she didn't say CF, she just said childless friends) and a freak about contraception and modern medicine in general. And posting links to pro-life sites.

I am very well aware that the pill has downsides and that is written even on its prospect. The fact that it helped me with some symptoms and i had no immediate side effects doesn't make it completely safe. But the way these dangers were put made me angry and more by the fact that this idiot is not even a medical professional. If you read the article you will notice that Walsh says at one point the pill destroys marriages because sex shouldn't be taken as something recreational, women should embrace their reproductive powers and not become a commodity. To me that shounds that women should stay home and crap out kids because that is the real empowerment.

And about natchural family planning? It doesn't work for smb. who has irregular cycles like me. And i doubt it worked for this friend because she had plans to finish her masters and do some travelling but oops, all of a sudden she got knocked up. She did refer to her kid as "our little surprise".

And btw. she wasn't CF and never claimed she was. She did want kids and i never said anything to her about that because it was her choice. But she is entitled now to throw shit in all people without kids because she had a kid and that gives her that mystical universal knowledge.

I'm doing a PhD and work amongst scientists who lead interesting lives and do fascinating work. Quite a few have had baybees/become dads in the past couple of years and every single one of them has gone from talking science and being wonderfully nerdy to talking about baybees, nappies, feed times, bed times etc all the f***ing time.

A colleague is due to pop any minute now and the exact same thing is happening to her- no more talk of her fascinating work and amazing professional achievements, now it's all about antenatal yoga and trying to find a decent pram for under £400. It's like these people's sizeable brains get invaded and hijacked by a parasite- which isn't far from what actually happens when people decide to breed...

The fact that there are people out there (anti bc pill, anti vac, etc) who believe this crap and are old enough to vote scares the crap out of me.

Bc pills were the most important aspect of the feminist movement of the 60s. They give women power over their own body and lives. The feminist backlash b.s. that's been going on would have every woman grunting out a kid in the forest (no pain meds - women have to feel pain), three or four toadlers hanging off her tit 24/7, and barefoot and pregnant at home with no marketable job skills or current experience to be able to enter the workforce. Women are so fucking dumb for falling for this shit.

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blackpearl
But she is entitled now to throw shit in all people without kids because she had a kid and that gives her that mystical universal knowledge.

She doesn't sound very happy. Maybe being a moo isn't so much fun once reality set in. Especially seems upset with childfree people and wanting to take away their birth control too? supports pro-life? Yikes

You have my sympathies blackpearl. The vast majority of my friends who have had kids have turned into the dullest people on the planet. They don't want to talk about anything else, they ditch you for mombie friends, and they don't care when the shit in your life hits the fan.

BlackPearl, don't feel bad. I have encountered a number of people who claimed they did not want kids but went ahead and bred. What happened after that was a 180 degree flip and now they walk around and bingo others into doing the same.

What I have discovered is that number of people who are CF by choice is really small. Most people, outside of this and a very small number of other sites, when they say that they do not want to reproduce, they cannot be taken at their word. They will flip at some point. Even if they are CF, many will not find a CF partner and may breed just because their wanna breed partner wanted them to breed. The proof? Look at all of the CF sites and look women to men membership ratios. 10 women to every 1 men, maybe even 15 to 1, I never counted. Growing up, I heard both men and women talk big about staying CF. Numbers were about the same. Looking at CF communities today, I find very few men being truly CF. There are a couple of possibilities:

1) Men have no say so in breeding whatsoever and if an accident happens, they are done, because no matter what they do, they are no longer CF.
2) Men are scared to walk away when their wife/girlfriend pressures them to breed.
3) Men are irresponsible and cannot take care of their own birth control.
4) Men are allowing other people to brainwash them into thinking that if they do not breed, they will be living alone, because "all women want kids, doncha ya know".

Your friend is really a case of typical LifeScripter (r). It may surprise you, but more of such is coming.

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BlackPearl
And about natchural family planning?

Here in USA, they call people who practice natural planning Parents. I don't know of any CF person who relied on natural family planning alone. Here is a statistic:

http://americanpregnancy.org/preventing-pregnancy/natural-family-planning/

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From the link
Typical use, which refers to the average use, shows a failure rate of approximately 25%.

No CF person is going to find a failure rate of 25% acceptable.

And now, here is some REAL truth:

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From the link
Fertility awareness is also commonly used by couples who are trying to get pregnant. It helps you target your reproductive efforts at the best times to get pregnant.

That's right, for those who want to get knocked up. Truth could not be spoken better.

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I commented that the pills helped me to overcome very painful, heavy, irregular periods which sent me to hospital few times and other medicines have also bad side effects but are not so demonized as the pill. Oh my, a bunch of mombies jumped at my throat that the pill is a threat to feminity, that we are sex objects because of it blah blah. I said that they must have never had so bad periods otherwise they wouldn't be so fast to judge. Of course i was told about the natchural ways (including natchural family planning which for them worked wondersRoll-Eyes).
Natchural ways which for me were useless. Instead of the pill i had to take very strong painkillers in order to function. You know some of us have to keep a job to survive, not sit on their asses, read matt walsh articles and having a wallet for support.

Good god yes, and I feel the need to embark on a ranty tangent. My reproductive system was completely fucked up do to severe endometriosis and PCOS. Spare me the crunchy bitches who said I just needed nachural solutions to solve my problems. And I was occasionally told I needed to "accept my femininity" or some bullshit like that. I didn't hate being a woman; I simply hated my period and WHO WOULDN'T when you are on a 17 or 21 day cycle and bleeding like a murder victim every month, anemic and in pain? (Usually with a migraine tacked on the first or second day of my period.)

I came to the same conclusion: those crunchy bitches never bled the way I did.

This bitch really needs to shut up. I hope her uterus falls out.

We've had a couple of fertility awareness people come to this page and act like rabid, evangelical twits about the subject. (It was some time ago.) Some of them acted superior and berated others for not wanting to take their temperatures and keep an eye on the pan juices, aka cervical mucus.

If FAM works for someone, great, but some of us don't want to do the level or monitoring required and we want a permanent solution. I wanted permanent sterility first if not uterus removal since I have a family history of uterine and ovarian cancer. I finally had a total hysterectomy when I was in my 40's. Best thing ever.

I recently lost a friendship because my friend had a fucking brat.

She said she didn't think she could get inpig, even though she didn't use protection....WTF?

She claimed she was totally CF, but when she got inpig, she never went to the clinic to get rid of it. That right there should have been a huge red flag.

I knew our 2 year friendship would slowly fade after she had the fucking brat, but she insisted that "she woud be the same person".

I have heard that bullshit all before, from other so-called CF "friends" who "fell inpig" with brats.

Such idiots. All of them.

Oh, and she got so fucking WEIRD after she had the loaf. I tried to deal with it, but she got worse with each passing month.

We have nothing in common anymore. Maybe we never did.

I feel like I was lied to and betrayed during our 2 year friendship.


And the clincher is that she and her husband have had a very unstable marriage for years, but they went ahead and had the brat anyway.

I think she did it to try to "save the marriage", although she would never admit that to me.

Now, since having the brat, her marriage is WORSE.

Huh......wonder why that might be.....


I lost respect for her when she kept not going to the clinic, but kept telling me that she would "get rid of it soon", and never would do it.

I get to take naps and watch movies and do whatever I want, and she has to change shitty diapers, and endure all the crying and screaming.

BED. MADE. LIE.

~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my little feather baby.

Honestly, I can't wait to see how my co-irker changes when (or if) she comes back with her loaf. She seemed bitter and fucked up before she went out to calve, so I'm waiting with bells on to see the changes. I wonder if it will be a soul-breaking experience, neutering her, making her become more agreeable, or if it will only serve to enrage the snarling mutt further. Either way, I assure you, the things she said to me won't go unpunished, and she'll be the one to do the job. Why should I have to take vengeance when her suffering (in the light of my salient happiness) is all I need?

Being nice and cheery and happy to someone who despises you is tantamount to rubbing salt in their daddy stitch. It's good to be on top.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

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bell_flower
Good god yes, and I feel the need to embark on a ranty tangent. My reproductive system was completely fucked up do to severe endometriosis and PCOS. Spare me the crunchy bitches who said I just needed nachural solutions to solve my problems. And I was occasionally told I needed to "accept my femininity" or some bullshit like that. I didn't hate being a woman; I simply hated my period and WHO WOULDN'T when you are on a 17 or 21 day cycle and bleeding like a murder victim every month, anemic and in pain? (Usually with a migraine tacked on the first or second day of my period.)

I came to the same conclusion: those crunchy bitches never bled the way I did.

I'm sure they never had these kind of problems because if they had, they would STFU. I also don't hate being a woman but that damned period took over my life in a bad way. If it isn't the pill then it is painkillers which also have nasty side effects...ibuprofen gave me so bad stomach pains i couldn't take it anymore. I'm not a fan of the pharmaceutical industry and some doctors are really bad and totally uninterested in doing their jobs but i can't throw shit in ALL medical professionals just because some are superficial and greedy.

Besides natural planning for persons with crazy periods does not work or at least i wouldn't take my chances.

And is it just me but nowadays there is this weird trend of pretending that being a SHAM is empowerment? Some people make it seem that letting women in the workforce and allowing them to take control over their bodies is in fact a tool of patriarchy and it is used to turn women into economical commodities, deprive them of their "real" feminity which boils down to the reproductive role. It is quite shocking to see a person who used to be nerdy and smart and had interesting hobbies fall for this "ideology".

One of my good friends whom i meet regularly is pregnant, i hope she won't turn into the sort of person this FB friend is. She hasn't talked much about her pregnancy and when she did it was because i asked her. I still keep some hope but when i saw what huge turn took this FB friend...i'm a bit skeptical.

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blackpearl
It is quite shocking to see a person who used to be nerdy and smart and had interesting hobbies fall for this "ideology".

I think the thing is their is no room for those hobbies or thoughts, there should be a saying like, once you go loaf you never comeback.

Just think, how well is a 2-4yr old, gunna register a geeky joke or throw technical banter back, and hold an intelligent conversation? As they say, if you don't use it, you loose it, I image by the time its old enough to form a sentace, the moos intelligence has long since left the building.

Gee.

Guess I am rather thankful for not suffering from this mental disorder known as "fertility awareness."

Because that is exactly what it is - a mental disorder, in a nation with 318 million people and some people breeding like rabbits.

As Groucho Marx once said:

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I think it's an evolutionary thing. Once a woman sluices, we all know that fetal cells roost in her brain. If they weren't stupid they wouldn't want to take care of the kid. For example, people call me smart and I couldn't imagine using my time to change diapers. If all of their other skills are gone, then breeding and caretaking are all they're good for.