That Will Never Be My Life, part 324

On FB I have one person on my friend list that I keep around mostly for schadenfreude laffs. Some small part of me hopes that when her kids get older she'll be more like the cool, creative, fun person I know her to be...but I'm not holding my breath. I have her hidden from my main newsfeed, and just check her page every now and then if I'm in the mood.

Yesterday she posted about getting ready for Older Daughter's "super-fun pirate/fairy bday party tomorrow". She reeled off the list of activities and the "goodies" they're sending home.

I read that, and all I hear in my head is "stress, noise, plastic crap, mess, and a letdown, over-stimulated kid afterwards".

Yeah, sign me right up. Leave the sign-up sheet in hell. I'll go get my ice skates.

What "that will never be my life" moments have you guys had lately?

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randomcfchick
What "that will never be my life" moments have you guys had lately?

My younger sister's life.

One of her sons saved his money and bought his dream car. It was used and over 10 years old, but he got an excellent deal on it and was proud of it. Well, it was stolen and trashed. What he got from it via insurance, after the deductible, wasn't enough to buy a car of similar quality. Up steps his older sister, who had a car that my nephew could buy. However, it needed some repairs, which my sister paid for. Nephew makes several payments on it and, being that it was family, everyone just kind of shook hands on the deal; there was no formal paperwork.

Aaaand THAT car gets wrecked. Not even nephew's fault. The car was sitting empty in front of the house and a DWIer plowed into it and totalled it. My poor nephew can't get a break.

Was his sister sympathetic? Nope. To keep the insurance payments down, it was still under her name, but her brother paid the insurance premium amount to her. Again, this is family stuff. You should be able to trust your sibling/daughter, right? Nope. My niece reported the car as hers, took all the money for it, didn't pay her mother back for the cost of making the damned thing roadworthy or her brother for what he had given her in payments.

So, now two of my sister's kids are hating on each other, my sister is upset with her daughter and caught in the middle of two of her kids squabbling.

I listened to my sister, offered ambiguous sympathy (I'm a thousand miles away. I don't know all sides to this story), got off the phone and told Dh "damn, that kind of crap will never be my problem."

The worst I have at home is when two of my dogs squabble and try to fight. All I have to do with them is grab each by the scruff, say "bad dogs! stop that!" and make them stay away from each other until they forget what they were fighting about. That's all of about 5 minutes.

Dorisan,

That reminds me of kind of an 'opposite' story. That and your thread about the 'open houses' and I earlier passed a neighbor who seems to have a 'perpetual garage sale'.

So anyway, one time my Cousins had a garage sale and they were also selling an old pick up truck, which they had parked out in front too - and people were fighting over it!

This would be a 'plain old' Ford truck, probably at least 10 years old, they had put $1,200 on it. My Mom told me this story and I wanted to get in on the fight too - I said - they should've TOLD ME! Because I may move and I could USE something like that! BOO!

Well evidently plenty of the garage sale customers felt the same way and literally started fighting over it. And *offering more money*. That's who they sold it to - some guy said I'll give you $1,500 right now.

Another related sort of 'opposite' or it COULD be you - I saw a woman yesterday metal scrapping. Cue the Sanford and Son theme song ~

MANY people do this here - junk pickers of all types, often referred to as "Alley Creepers". Some focus only on scrap metal. Job Hunters here - you can *create your own job* of this. Do it right and the money's not bad either. I saw this tough looking blonde girl driving a beat up pick up truck full of scrap metal yesterday - YAY! Sistas be doin it for themselves!

I saw a woman working on an outdoor electrical (probably traffic signal) box yesterday too.

wink

It is hard for me to feel sorry for a guy committing insurance fraud although I do have pity for him losing his first car. I also feel sorry for your sister who didn't get paid back.
This is another reason I am glad not to have kids. I don't even know what I would say to two idiots who didn't want to go to the trouble of transferring a title or paying their own insurance. I'm sure it would be bad enough they would band together to hate me more than each other.

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evilchildlessbitch
It is hard for me to feel sorry for a guy committing insurance fraud although I do have pity for him losing his first car. I also feel sorry for your sister who didn't get paid back.
This is another reason I am glad not to have kids. I don't even know what I would say to two idiots who didn't want to go to the trouble of transferring a title or paying their own insurance. I'm sure it would be bad enough they would band together to hate me more than each other.

Oh, I think everyone started out with good intentions. The theft of nephew's car made the national news because the car thief ended up in a high speed police chase with the vehicle and hit a pedestrian (no serious injuries). Niece wanted to help out her little brother, offering up her car at a low price, initially, and making the deal with the insurance. But, she has a toddler who she spoils and is said to be having financial issues. Just speculation, but having the chance to collect a small windfall? I bet Niece worked it around in her head and found some sort of justification for keeping the entire boodle.

I'm glad and enormously thankful that my life is so much simpler. Just Dh, me, the dogs and all our stuff. Easy to keep track of and manage and much less drama.

My "that will never be my life" moment was today, in fact.

I had to go to an expo on fertility treatment and adoption and other ways to have kyds for the fertility challenged. A CF worst nightmare, but it was necessary for some articles I am writing for a client, and in the early stages of my freelance business I can't afford to be as picky as I'd like to be!

Hearing the descriptions of the shit your body has to go through for these IVF procedures made me feel queasy. Nobody is sticking anything into my fucking ovaries! And the hormones! Time enough for that when I hit the menopause. And the couples there - mostly desperate-looking wannamoos and bored, embarrassed looking blokes. Oh, and don't forget the counselling services being offered especially for couples whose relationships have been ruined by having fertility treatment. Yep, even when the treatment is successful and they end up with a baybee or two, the strain on a marriage/relationship is often too huge to withstand. Oh yeah, and the famblee lawyers making a fast buck over surrogacy arrangements gone wrong, and couples splitting up because the hormones turned Moo psycho.

Thank Dog for being happily childfree. I made sure to wear my press badge very conspicuously and dress in such a way that I would be much less likely to be mistaken for a potential customer! That will nevernevernever be me!

I had a real life it will never be me moment and a second hand it will never be me moment. The one I experienced was at the supermarket (I was making pizza and didn't take the dough out of the freezer early enough) and there wa a fucking toadler screaming its pie hole off while moo in sweats was ignoring it. Well, I was with my boyfriend and I was wearing a thin summer dress and I have nipple piercings and I never wear a bra so one can imagine the results. The icky moo saw me and gave me the glare of death so I licked my lips and said "jealous much" and strutted away to get yogurt. It was glorious.

The second hand story involves a friend that I was eating dinner with. She was visiting a friend who had an infestation of loaves. Well apparently one of the loaves had shit running down the back of his sweatshirt and had no pants on. Over the course of her visit the loaf took the sweatshirt off and the family dog pissed on it. The moo apparently said that shit like that happens all the time and not to make a big deal of it. Fucking disgusting! So glad that I am me.

Edited to fix formatting fail.

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mistress rotwang
The second hand story involves a friend that I was eating dinner with. She was visiting a friend who had an infestation of loaves. Well apparently one of the loaves had shit running down the back of his sweatshirt and had no pants on. Over the course of her visit the loaf took the sweatshirt off and the family dog pissed on it. The moo apparently said that shit like that happens all the time and not to make a big deal of it. Fucking disgusting! So glad that I am me.

Gads!! People really live like that???

I'm on facebook now so I'm surrounded by pro-choicers, trans-people, and CF folks. I Have read a ton of stuff from other CFer's pages and I have been like: damn.

My TWNBM moments continue to be supplied by my fat, fucked out coworker who can't stand her kid but doesn't stop talking about her. Bingoes right and left, stretch marks and grey hair? She's all I ever wanted! That's vintage schadenfreude right there.

Recently my friend and I went to MagiQuest. She and I are huge nerds and this sounded like a ton of fun so we went to check it out. It WAS a ton of fun and we're going to do it again, we had a great time!

But in the middle were some chairs for people to relax (it involveD a lot of running around!) And those chairs were ALWAYS filled with moos that looked so bored or miserable and exhausted while their stupid kids ran around like Crack monkeys. They mostly looked miserable and despondent. Meanwhile my friend and I are having so much fun. So what's the option here...take the kids and be miserable the whole time, or be CF and do something bc you want to? No contest!

As we were running by to get to something with a time limit I was like shit, I am SO glad my life will never be those miserable mothers over there! Shenanigans ahoy!

I have a couple of old (formerly cf- lol) friends who just had to go and breed and ended up with tards who will need lifelong care. One of these friends gives up most of the care to the ex who doesn't seem to mind. The other one is just a shell of a person he used to be. I'm glad neither is my life but it still brings everyone down. The first one is shunning her responsibility and the second one is too depressing to be around. The tards are adults now and this is how it will be for the rest of their lives. I see both of these people around and while the one who is free is ok to deal with there is still obviously major damage and the other one is a walking talking corpse.

It's not my life, but I grew up with these people I cared about who had fantastic potential and possibilities, they are not bad people and I hate to see them like this. So it does affect me and other friends from that circle, because they bring everyone down. We can't kick them out, so their depressing lives ruin events and things that are supposed to be fun and conversations turn out to be sad even if they don't mean to be that way.

Then of course there are all the places ruined by kyds in general, the brats and baggage they bring cannot be avoided, so it kind of a big part of our lives to deal with their shit.

I'm actually getting a lot of these moments lately, in my office for 25+ yrs and many parents' kids are adults and outta college, but NOT much more, still live at home, no job whatsoever, no prospects even of the part time kind , no retail , no waitressing , no dating, no social life, just sit in basements day in and day out, and play on the net. You can tell the parents, who do allow this to happen, and will keep a stiff upper lip, are realizing this life is not what they pictured for bratley or themselves, after they spent dough on college and everything else.

The rumors are starting to go around, (many single CL/CF men even in support positions have retired at the early retirement age of 55 before me) that I plan to quit even before the early retirement age, waive some perks, and just wait to get my early retirement money down the line a few yrs as I have been vested forever anyway. I'm married and CF and even was in support position like half my life there, and I can still afford to do this, plus w/ an inheritance, there is no reason to stay somewhere that kinda sux. My parents could give me that money b/c they had good work ethic and only had one kid and saved their money.

These ppl, mostly men, are easily 10 yrs older and will be there a minimum of 5yrs after me and will likely get new jobs after that, I think ppl were meaner in the 90s about CF stuff such as this, but now, it isn't a new idea and altho you can see a little deflated enthusiasm for me, they do seem genuine when they say 'good for me', they realize now my CHOICEs panned out and their youthful enthusiasm to either have it all, or make choices that everyone else just does, in hindsight, they realized maybe they didn't HAVE to do that.

So I finally have been validated (by others I guess) I wonder what my ILs will say when they find out. My SIL is same age and broke and newly divorced, kids sorta grown, she's just starting out.....and I'm finishing.....ready for fun and relaxation of sorts.