Really long NYT Article about Non-Biological fathers getting stuck
Posted by bell_flower
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thom_c
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StudioFiftyFour
Of course I warn my fellow males and place great emphasis on the need to use condoms and to avoid single mothers who are quite possibly trying to get knocked up again to earn another meal ticket.
A dry bone supports nothing.
Thom,
This reminded me of something that occurred to me the other day ~
OK, Honey Boo Boo's Moo is called Mama June.
It came to me that June Cleaver - could also be called Mama June.
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Peace
...
I guess it all goes back to trust. If men took the time to get to know the woman, to feel they could trust her, to try to have a relationship first before the sex happened, rather than just fucking her after the 3rd date, then you'd have less problems. If men wore a condom every time they had sex, or were snipped, then there would be less problems. But I guess it's easier to call a woman a slut, a whore, and demand a free DNA test.
Nope, I'm not paying for it.
But..but..but this would require the guy to view the woman as ... you know..., a human being, instead of a piece of ass he is trying to nail. Where would it end?
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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"
Personally, I do think mandatory DNA tests are a good idea; if the guy refuses to take one, he can pay brat support until he decides to have the test done to prove whether or not he's the biological father of said child and either quit or continue paying support. I think the only people who would be vehemently against these are women who know they've been knocked up by another man and will be outed for their cheating. No guy should have to be on the line - legally and financially - for a kid that's not his against his will. Guys have a right to know if the kid they're raising and paying for is actually theirs, and if the guy finds out he's not the father of the child, he can decide if he wants to be the legal father or not.
Of course, it would help if some guys exercised some better judgment in regard to using protection and who they fuck. A lot of guys don't seem to care until the slutty chick they banged five years ago shows up on their doorstep and shoves a kid at them. Then the guys are all too ready to scream victim, like they were forced at gunpoint to impregnate the woman. It's not always all one gender's fault - sometimes men are the assholes, sometimes the women are.
It also doesn't help that when it comes to anything regarding sex and reproduction, a lot of people are either ignorant or are happy to lie to everyone, from their partners to their doctors. People will lie about having an STD just to get laid while others may have no idea they're infected. Women will either not know they're pregnant or will outright lie about it, which is why any woman between the ages of 11 and 90 has to have a piss test as part of any medical examination and can be refused certain types of treatment on the sole basis that she might be pregnant and might be lying about it. A lot of sexually active people are dishonest, so it has to be assumed that all of them are. Welcome to the human race.
Unfortunately, a lot of men will just up and quit caring about their kids if they find out said kids are not their own DNA replicants. This can be pretty damn upsetting to the kids involved. It's not the child's fault they were born or that their mother cheated and then lied, but the kid will have to suffer mentally and emotionally when the only man they've ever known as their dad all of a sudden hates them... not because they hate the kid, but usually it's the father projecting their anger over their wife's/girlfriend's infidelity onto the product of her affair.
But like jmc said, guys can't expect to play daddy to these kids and then not pay a cent toward their care. If you're not the bio-father but still want to be the legal father, you have to go all the way or not at all. There's no in-between; you can't be half a father.
It begs the question of what is better: "manning up" and continuing to raise and pay for a kid you now know isn't your biological child because you're the only father they know, or severing all ties because you never had any obligation to that child and shouldn't have to pay for someone else's mistake?
As with anything mandatory, some people will find ways around it. Leave it up to determined guys who regret breeding to figure out how to fudge DNA tests so they can abandon their brats that are their biological kids. I recall seeing something recently about a guy who was so intent on not raising his brat that he sent a look-alike to a paternity test to ensure a negative result.
Sharing DNA doesn't automatically make someone a good parent, but when people adopt or become step-parents, they enter into said choice knowing full-well the kids are someone else's. This is different, and I can understand why a non-biological father would want to abandon his family - deceit, lies, infidelity, and irrefutable proof of another man fucking your wife looking you in the eyes every day.
Christ, I gotta quit with these novel-length posts.
Of course, it would help if some guys exercised some better judgment in regard to using protection and who they fuck. A lot of guys don't seem to care until the slutty chick they banged five years ago shows up on their doorstep and shoves a kid at them. Then the guys are all too ready to scream victim, like they were forced at gunpoint to impregnate the woman. It's not always all one gender's fault - sometimes men are the assholes, sometimes the women are.
It also doesn't help that when it comes to anything regarding sex and reproduction, a lot of people are either ignorant or are happy to lie to everyone, from their partners to their doctors. People will lie about having an STD just to get laid while others may have no idea they're infected. Women will either not know they're pregnant or will outright lie about it, which is why any woman between the ages of 11 and 90 has to have a piss test as part of any medical examination and can be refused certain types of treatment on the sole basis that she might be pregnant and might be lying about it. A lot of sexually active people are dishonest, so it has to be assumed that all of them are. Welcome to the human race.
Unfortunately, a lot of men will just up and quit caring about their kids if they find out said kids are not their own DNA replicants. This can be pretty damn upsetting to the kids involved. It's not the child's fault they were born or that their mother cheated and then lied, but the kid will have to suffer mentally and emotionally when the only man they've ever known as their dad all of a sudden hates them... not because they hate the kid, but usually it's the father projecting their anger over their wife's/girlfriend's infidelity onto the product of her affair.
But like jmc said, guys can't expect to play daddy to these kids and then not pay a cent toward their care. If you're not the bio-father but still want to be the legal father, you have to go all the way or not at all. There's no in-between; you can't be half a father.
It begs the question of what is better: "manning up" and continuing to raise and pay for a kid you now know isn't your biological child because you're the only father they know, or severing all ties because you never had any obligation to that child and shouldn't have to pay for someone else's mistake?
As with anything mandatory, some people will find ways around it. Leave it up to determined guys who regret breeding to figure out how to fudge DNA tests so they can abandon their brats that are their biological kids. I recall seeing something recently about a guy who was so intent on not raising his brat that he sent a look-alike to a paternity test to ensure a negative result.
Sharing DNA doesn't automatically make someone a good parent, but when people adopt or become step-parents, they enter into said choice knowing full-well the kids are someone else's. This is different, and I can understand why a non-biological father would want to abandon his family - deceit, lies, infidelity, and irrefutable proof of another man fucking your wife looking you in the eyes every day.
Christ, I gotta quit with these novel-length posts.
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