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11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids

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creativelycf
11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
So, I grabbed my coffee this morning and came in the office to check my facebook etc. This came up on my feed from a PNB friend of mine who had her first (and maybe only) child not too long ago. It seems so far that she hasn't let mommyhood go to her head. I will call and we can still have an intelligent adult conversation and voice our opinions on certain topics / debate with each other etc like we always have.

She also understands my choice to be child free. This friend didn't actually tell me she was having a baby. I was mad she didn't tell me as she has been a friend of mine since high school but more than anything I thought I was honestly loosing yet another friend to mommyhood. This is the one friend out of the group I thought wouldn't have kids either because she is so career driven.

Here's the article 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why MIllenials Don't Want Kids

Thoughts?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They are having children for selfish and narcissistic reasons, or are simply irresponsible. Funny... Those are the terms often used to describe the CF

~Live, Laugh, Love~
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mrs. chinaski
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
I liked all the reasons besides of the reason no 9 - career.
There are plenty of people who made career even with kydz.
All the other reasons are valid IMO.
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starbelly
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
I'm beginning to wonder if the unapologetic narcissism that Millennials get pinned with isn't going to turn out to be the independent 'I don't give a fuck what you think' streak that begets creative transformation and enlightenment. I'm smack in the middle of Gen-X myself and I still really feel like my generation is under the thumb of the fucking baby-boomers. You know, we can't quite break from the conservative religious background of our upbringing, but we are standing on the balcony wistfully witnessing the next generation usher in change like a hurricane while our parents scream at us to come inside and eat dinner.

Just a thought. I liked the article.
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paragon schnitzophonic
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
I like #11. Why should I have to justify my decision to not have children beyond "I don't want them," when "I want them" is a perfectly reasonable justification to have kids and nobody presses them on the whys. Quite frankly, people who want kids should be pressed to answer why they want them. They're the ones potentially fucking up a new generation.


I wonder if the rise in childfreedom has something to do with the kids born in the mid 1980s - on having the Internet available. My family got Internet when I was 9. Now we have access to people's thoughts that weren't spoken aloud before and if they were, very few people were privy to them. One can simply type in, "Do people regret have children?" in a search engine and get millions of hits. The information on all the shitty (literally and figuratively) parts of raising children is right at our fingertips and becoming less and less of a secret. And those that can use critical thinking will wonder if all that crap is worth the few Kodak moments.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan
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aes sedai
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
Quote
starbelly
I'm beginning to wonder if the unapologetic narcissism that Millennials get pinned with isn't going to turn out to be the independent 'I don't give a fuck what you think' streak that begets creative transformation and enlightenment.

I was born in '85 and I can tell you, reading this was like no shit, Sherlock. Like someone photocopied what was in my brain and those of a quite a few people I know. It's about time someone advocated for my age group and stopped calling us selfish cold-hearted bitches and Peter Pans and all sorts of derogatory things just because a significant number of us want nothing to do with raising the next generation. I look a lot younger than my age so I usually get away with murder avoiding all the nosy "when are you getting married already?!" questions from relatives I see once a year at Thanksgiving or Christmas--I still get asked when I'm graduating from college when I finished my master's before I turned 25. Meanwhile, some of my old high school and college classmates were--you guessed it--sprogging. I can tell you a lot of people in my generation are taking a stand for what they believe in and not what society has robotically done in the past just because "it's what you do". I have no qualms about answering with a "It's not for me", the end, when someone asks me if I want kids. I'm not exactly maternal-looking (think Death from Sandman) so I don't really get that question often except on the rare occasion I'm suffocated surrounded by a breederiffic crowd. The irony is, with all my hormonal issues I probably couldn't conceive if I was strapped down to a bed and turkey-basted to death by some right-wing extremist (and still, I'm paranoid to a fault when it comes to BC and condoms). If I lived in Medieval times I'd probably be that "freakish barren woman" burned for a witch.devil with smile Anyway, back to this era, I feel that essays like this are the first step in sparking a new type of equality--giving all people the respect they deserve regardless of parental status.
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Cambion
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
I personally like them all, including the career one. It's very, very difficult to breed and have a demanding job and be able to effectively deal with both. How's a surgeon going to be expected to properly do their job if a shrieking, colicky loaf keeps them from sleeping for weeks at a time? In the tug of war between breeding and working, one almost always gets neglected in favor of the other one; you wind up with a slacker parent who puts their brat above their work responsibilities, or a workaholic parent that neglects their kid for their job. I think the former is much more common than the latter, which is why breeders make such awful employees at nearly every professional level, and it honestly makes me want to punch them for hogging up jobs that dedicated unchilded people could fill and do better.

But it's nice to see an honest article. I mean, I'm sure plenty of people will blow this off as these individuals being immature man-babies (and whatever the female equivalent is) who refuse to grow up and accept their "adult responsibilities." I do like that final reason on the list a lot too. Breeders aren't expected to defend their choices, so why should we? Why spend time telling people all the reasons you don't want kids just for them to tell you that you'll change your mind? Nobody tells breeders they'll change their minds, and the funny thing is, I think a lot of them do, as evidenced by all the "I hate my kids, I regret having kids" stuff online.

Aside from the fertility one (I have no idea if I'm barren or not), every single one of those reasons applies to me and are among my own mile-long list of why I refuse to breed.
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blondie
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
I think if you need reasons you might not be cf. I worry that millennials who may not really be cf could put brats off for a host of good reasons but they all go in the toilet when the bio clock is about spent and desperation sets in, and then ivf. I'd rather just see it be organic and while the info is out there, no one needs reasons, no one needs to be a rebel, just keep it real and be cf if you are cf. " And you know in your soul if you are. Thoughts of Kodak moments with brats are not attractive to the cf. Kodak moments might be with friends, significant others, pets, nature, etc., anything but kyds.
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kittehpeoples
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
I like all of them, but #11 is best.
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exile
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
I think the next time someone asks why i dont want kids, I'll say:

when a woman says she wants a baby and you ask her why? and she reply's "because i want one" that is a good enough answer, but when you ask me why i dont want kids? and i reply "because i dont want them" this should be enough of a reason for you just the same.

See how that go's down, it has a nice simple ring to it.
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artemis
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
As a young millennial, I've noticed that many people my age are, if not childfree, at least not defaulting to sprogging as much as previous generations. I think it has to do with a desire for choice. We want choices for everything, from jam flavors, to clothing, to relationships. Almost all ability to choose is forfeit if you have kids. Suddenly you can't choose what to eat, what to wear, who to hang out with, how to act, when to get up, how to live.

Also this:
""Even in the 21st century, childbirth is a strenuous (not to mention potentially dangerous) physical ordeal. Plenty of women just aren't into the idea of using their uteruses as an "incubator," as one very honest respondent put it.
"I'm completely squicked out by pregnancy and labor. Full-on body horror."
"The physical changes my body would go through with the pain of birth is not appealing at all to me."
"The idea of carrying a child makes me nauseous." ""

Why anyone would want to go through pregnancy is a mystery to me. :crz Maybe Millennials don't want kids cause we have more information about this.
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gnarler
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
Quote
artemis
As a young millennial, I've noticed that many people my age are, if not childfree, at least not defaulting to sprogging as much as previous generations. I think it has to do with a desire for choice. We want choices for everything, from jam flavors, to clothing, to relationships. Almost all ability to choose is forfeit if you have kids. Suddenly you can't choose what to eat, what to wear, who to hang out with, how to act, when to get up, how to live.

It would be kind of hilarious if this was an unintended consequence of modern mombies' tendencies to give little sproggies choices about everything. You know, holding up the line at a food place asking "do you want the chicken nuggets, or the pizza, or the mac n cheese..." and on and on. When mombie should just pick something they know sproggie will like and get on with it.
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videogamesforeverkidsnever
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
3, 5, 7, 10.

It is hard to, in good conscience, congratulate someone for having a baby, due to overpopulation. However, I will do so to be polite.

My cousin's wifey just popped out her 4th brat today -- and their youngest is still in diapers!

She has many "likes" and tons of giddy comments and all I can do is roll my eyes. Not one of these people seem to care about the effect they have on this finite planet by adding more people to it.

There is simply no logical reason for one couple to have 4 little shits, though I still support their right to breed because I consider bodily autonomy one of the most important things we have.
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jmc
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
Quote
blondie
I think if you need reasons you might not be cf. I worry that millennials who may not really be cf could put brats off for a host of good reasons but they all go in the toilet when the bio clock is about spent and desperation sets in, and then ivf......
eh, I think having a reason is they way to ensure that you really are childfree. If the only thing that make you childfree is that you "don't feel like having kids" this is the exact reason why we get bingo ed with "oh, you'll change your mind". Because maybe one day you will have kids because one day you did feel like having kids.

While I don't feel any maternal instincts, that isn't what makes me childfree. I will NOT have children, no matter what. The reasons are many, some listed in this article; major clinical depression episode that robbed me of most of my twenties, the fact that I might suck at making parenting decisions, overpopulation, that fact that the world is a horrible place.

So even if one day I do have a biological clock kick in, I will refuse to give in, BECAUSE of reasons.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If you can't feed your baby, then don't have a baby. And don't think maybe, if you can't feed your baby."
- The wisdom of the late Michael Jackson
"The mother of the year should be a sterilized woman with two adopted children." - Paul Ehrlich
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deegee
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 04, 2015
As a man, many of these reasons did not really apply to me. But my favorites were #8, $9, #10, and #11. For me, now 52 years old, as it turned out, my top reason would be: "I want to retire at 45!"
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starbelly
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 05, 2015
Quote
aes sedai
Quote
starbelly
I'm beginning to wonder if the unapologetic narcissism that Millennials get pinned with isn't going to turn out to be the independent 'I don't give a fuck what you think' streak that begets creative transformation and enlightenment.

I was born in '85 and I can tell you, reading this was like no shit, Sherlock. Like someone photocopied what was in my brain and those of a quite a few people I know. It's about time someone advocated for my age group and stopped calling us selfish cold-hearted bitches and Peter Pans and all sorts of derogatory things just because a significant number of us want nothing to do with raising the next generation. I look a lot younger than my age so I usually get away with murder avoiding all the nosy "when are you getting married already?!" questions from relatives I see once a year at Thanksgiving or Christmas--I still get asked when I'm graduating from college when I finished my master's before I turned 25. Meanwhile, some of my old high school and college classmates were--you guessed it--sprogging. I can tell you a lot of people in my generation are taking a stand for what they believe in and not what society has robotically done in the past just because "it's what you do". I have no qualms about answering with a "It's not for me", the end, when someone asks me if I want kids. I'm not exactly maternal-looking (think Death from Sandman) so I don't really get that question often except on the rare occasion I'm suffocated surrounded by a breederiffic crowd. The irony is, with all my hormonal issues I probably couldn't conceive if I was strapped down to a bed and turkey-basted to death by some right-wing extremist (and still, I'm paranoid to a fault when it comes to BC and condoms). If I lived in Medieval times I'd probably be that "freakish barren woman" burned for a witch.devil with smile Anyway, back to this era, I feel that essays like this are the first step in sparking a new type of equality--giving all people the respect they deserve regardless of parental status.

Right?! Generation X got treated with a lot of the same disdain as Millennials did back in the day. When we turned out to be a bunch of nerdy tech types who would adopt a watered-down version of Republican anti-flair, well, it shut the baby-boomers up. Honestly, I think my generation's pendulum will swing the other way once the Baby Boomers are firmly on their death beds and we will embrace a more "Millennial" slant. As it is already, about half of my friends are unmarried and childfree while the other half married the rich guy and shat out some kyds like they were supposed to.

Like somebody else said, Millennials favor choice in everything. What I would like to see is widespread rejection by your generation of the current political climate in America. I'm not sure where you are, but I just can't stand either major party here in the U.S. I either have to abandon how I feel about social issues in favor of a President who will act competently on the world and economic stage, or I have to vote for somebody who hates the military but won't make being female a "pre-existing condition."

Sorry, rant over, but I love this list, it's just like I said, unapologetic! Love it!
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evilchildlessbitch
Re: 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 05, 2015
Wanting choice is fine. Thinking you are special and no rules ever apply to you is not.
People who think they are entitled to a choice in any and everything are a problem.
People should not have a choice to do their jobs. If they don't do them, they get fired.
People should not have a choice about following the rules in a business. They can leave but these are the people who throw fits when told to follow the rules or leave. No, the rules must not apply to them.
Breeding is of course a choice, but many things are not really choices unless one wants to go to jail like paying taxes, having car insurance, not committing any crime for that matter.
Paying the electric bill is not a choice unless they want to live in the dark without internet and cell phones.
I see far too many Gen Xers (and I am one) and Millenials who are just acting like overgrown brats as adults. This isn't creative, it is just carrying their special snowflake status into adulthood.
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M4P
Re: 11 Nrutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 05, 2015
Quote
starbelly
fucking baby-boomers. .

As a "fucking baby-boomer", I can tell you things were much different for me. It seemed like if you didn't have kids, you had a physical problem that you couldn't have them, and there was no other reason for not having them. There was no internet, so no one to share views with as much. Geez, now I'm feeling old.

Anyway, I know there's a point in here somewhere. I did like the article and definitely #11. I've never felt the need to explain why I didn't have kids. Just seemed like a tedious and boring way to live.

______________

- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine
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yurble
Re: 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 05, 2015
I don't see what good it does to engage in inter-generational warfare. I don't have much in common with most of my generation (they're breeders) and I doubt I have much in common with most of the baby boomers or gen X either. However, I'm happy to spend time with individuals of any generation with whom I'm simpatico. The problem is not one generation or the other...the problem is people, who largely suck.
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Anonymous User
Re: 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 07, 2015
I agree w/ so many of you here of all ages on this topic. I truly think millennials are avoiding kyds because they seem to avoid all adult decisions. I don't want to offend any of you here and obviously everyone is not the same, but that is what I see. Avoiding relationships, even dating of any sort, real full time jobs or even part time jobs, moving out of parents house, getting a car or insurance, apartments, anything and everything other than the latest iPhone. I too think there will be a sudden shift and then a bunch of IVF treatments and it will be better than ever and they can push it off till 50, that is my predictions.
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Techie
Re: 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 07, 2015
Quote
cf uter
I agree w/ so many of you here of all ages on this topic. I truly think millennials are avoiding kyds because they seem to avoid all adult decisions. I don't want to offend any of you here and obviously everyone is not the same, but that is what I see. Avoiding relationships, even dating of any sort, real full time jobs or even part time jobs, moving out of parents house, getting a car or insurance, apartments, anything and everything other than the latest iPhone. I too think there will be a sudden shift and then a bunch of IVF treatments and it will be better than ever and they can push it off till 50, that is my predictions.

I think many millennials came into to the working world when economy was in really bad shape. They were not able to find decent income so many things were put on hold. The millennials that did luck out with income and were able to buy homes, they bred about as quickly as the generation before them. If in doubt, take a look at Fakebook - they are all over the place. Given the financial opportunity, millennials are not much different than anyone else. There maybe slightly more of them who are CF, but, like you said, that may all just be very temporary. Give them the funds and a decent place to live and there will be bay-bees all over the place. Birth rate is not really down. Marriages would not really be down either if people actually had the means to get married and start a life.
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blackpearl
Re: 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 08, 2015
Quote
Techie
I think many millennials came into to the working world when economy was in really bad shape. They were not able to find decent income so many things were put on hold. The millennials that did luck out with income and were able to buy homes, they bred about as quickly as the generation before them. If in doubt, take a look at Fakebook - they are all over the place. Given the financial opportunity, millennials are not much different than anyone else. There maybe slightly more of them who are CF, but, like you said, that may all just be very temporary. Give them the funds and a decent place to live and there will be bay-bees all over the place. Birth rate is not really down. Marriages would not really be down either if people actually had the means to get married and start a life.

That's the same thing i notice. I'm 29 and have few friends my age and even younger who already got stable jobs and have their own apartments/houses and at least 2 of them are planning a second kid.

Most of the people think i'm avoinding kids because of my financial situation, the rest think i'm infertile.smile rolling left righteyes2
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Techie
Re: 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 08, 2015
Quote
BlackPearl
That's the same thing i notice. I'm 29 and have few friends my age and even younger who already got stable jobs and have their own apartments/houses and at least 2 of them are planning a second kid.

Most of the people think i'm avoinding kids because of my financial situation, the rest think i'm infertile.

They say that people are better than monkeys. I agree. 90% of people are better than monkeys at performing very repetitive tasks without having a reason to do so. Millennials do have access to more information than previous generations did, but most millennials won't utilize such information to submerse themselves in the world of free thinking. Most use information to figure out ways to breed. Fewer millennials are having kids, yes, but that is only circumstantial. Give them all a place to live and some extra money and they will be breeding the same exact way that previous generations were. Heck, most of them will get married too and have the same exact lifestyle as previous generations if given the same exact circumstances as previous generations. You are spot on BlackPearl.
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blondie
Re: 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 08, 2015
I know several people who have "generational" households with the kid and their babymama/duh and the grandsprogs living there, usually in the basement since almost all homes here have basements and lots of them are finished. Then they go and have have more kids.... Usually grandmoo looks after the whole batch. So that lack of jobs or money does not stop the breeder itch. I'm so surprised to see this happening in middle class famblees, and usually it's a matter of those kids having been raised quite spoiled and wanting for nothing, but now as adults they are good with living in a basement with their own famblees.
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creativelycf
Re: 11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids
August 10, 2015
Sorry for the lack of response everyone, it's been a busy week / weekend, this whole month is going to be really crazy for me. I will also apologize if something here doesn't quite make sense and I will come back and clarify - I'm still pretty tired from lack of sleep.

I agree that now the millennials have access to more information about pregnancy and childbirth that they decide not to do it. They are also putting that part of their life on hold as more choose to go to school and have a career and enjoy life first before settling down and having a famblee.
But a lot of millennials are also choosing to have kyds as well, they, like other generations were brainwashed into believing that you have to grow up and breed kyds of your own. So really it goes both ways.

I see people in my family and friends, the same age or younger than myself, who are putting off having kyds but who are in a long term relationship. These people have also taken into consideration their current situation or have just wanted to travel the world, which they have done.

To me, this article gives very good reasons but I also believe that we shouldn't have to justify our reasons for not wanting children. I was asked over the weekend and I said I just don't for medical and health reasons, I believe it would be too dangerous. 'Just because' is a good enough reason to have them, so why isn't it a good enough reason not to? We need more people standing up for the CF and articles like this are a start.
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