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Goodamn Delusional MIL!
Posted by MerlynHerne
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Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 19, 2015 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,301 |
Anybody else run across this? My MIL struck out because neither of her children want brats. So, my trashy foster SIL who couldn't keep her legs closed had a couple of brats. They're not bad, I suppose, but to me all kyds are brats. Anyhow, every fucking time you turn around, all they can talk about is their "grandkids". Since WHEN do the children of a foster child qualify as grandkids?! It drives me nuts because she really doesn't give a shit about her own damn flesh-and-blood daughter.Other than her father, who cares some, I'm really the only one who cares if the Wolf lives or dies.
Just what is this shit with breeder-brains and their delusional shit of other people's kids' kids being "grandchildren"? My mother was somewhat breeder-brained but I don't remember her doing stuff this delusional--she used to show Christmas cards and that sort of stuff from her "kitty-grandbabies", but I really don't recall anything this nuts even after my mother had stroke-caused dementia set in.
Just what is this shit with breeder-brains and their delusional shit of other people's kids' kids being "grandchildren"? My mother was somewhat breeder-brained but I don't remember her doing stuff this delusional--she used to show Christmas cards and that sort of stuff from her "kitty-grandbabies", but I really don't recall anything this nuts even after my mother had stroke-caused dementia set in.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Two possibilites:
1. MIL does that only to spite you.
2. MIL is an old breeder who meets other old breeders.
Fellow old breeders always showed photos of grandchyldren
and she felt left out. Now she is happy as she has something
to present to the others.
MIL obviously considers the forster chyld her own chyld
but I think that's OK!
I used to have a friend who was adopted and the
parunts always made differences between her
and their bio-chyldren. They always showed her that
she didn't belong to a family as she wasn't their
"flesh and blood". Such a behaviour is nasty.
1. MIL does that only to spite you.
2. MIL is an old breeder who meets other old breeders.
Fellow old breeders always showed photos of grandchyldren
and she felt left out. Now she is happy as she has something
to present to the others.
MIL obviously considers the forster chyld her own chyld
but I think that's OK!
I used to have a friend who was adopted and the
parunts always made differences between her
and their bio-chyldren. They always showed her that
she didn't belong to a family as she wasn't their
"flesh and blood". Such a behaviour is nasty.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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Since WHEN do the children of a foster child qualify as grandkids?! It drives me nuts because she really doesn't give a shit about her own damn flesh-and-blood daughter.Other than her father, who cares some, I'm really the only one who cares if the Wolf lives or dies.
I'm sorry that you and your mate are in this hurtful situation. My siblings went through that kind of situation with our father. He married a second time after divorcing our mother (that part we had no issue with. we figured that if they didn't divorce, they'd end up killing one another). Second Wife had a passel of absolutely worthless kids that she expected Dad to support - which he did. Then those vermin began to spawn and all-of-a-sudden, Dad became a doting Grandpappy to them, showering them with attention that his own, older, biological grandchildren never received. And it's not like my siblings discouraged a grandfather relationship, he just chose to put these non-DNA kids ahead of his own biological family.
However, having said that, I don't see the wrong in making a family, kids and grandkids included, out of non-DNA related people. There are people who suffered shitty circumstances in their life who deserve to have family. The non-biological parent/grandparent just needs to make sure that the status of their biological family is in order, or there is an honest reason for the estrangement and creation of a new family. Don't go and create this new family as a way to "punish" your own bio-kids, it's filthy thing to do to your DNA connections as well as the non-DNA people who you are using as a club rather than actually caring for their welfare.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,198 |
I guess I think it's a somewhat admirable thing to raise a foster child. (If you aren't doing it for the money and do a decent job, etc.)
The rest of it just sounds like typical Breeder favoritism toward kids who've bred. I've seen all too many people IRL who are marginalized for their choices, given less (or no) inheritance or time because they don't have Kyds and aren't carrying the Fambilee NameTM.
So many Breeders profess to WUV THEIR KYDS SO MUCH....but it all comes down to loving them only if they conform to their parunts' lifestyle. Do you think the Duggards would love a child of theirs if he/she were gay or trans or CF? Yeah, right.
The rest of it just sounds like typical Breeder favoritism toward kids who've bred. I've seen all too many people IRL who are marginalized for their choices, given less (or no) inheritance or time because they don't have Kyds and aren't carrying the Fambilee NameTM.
So many Breeders profess to WUV THEIR KYDS SO MUCH....but it all comes down to loving them only if they conform to their parunts' lifestyle. Do you think the Duggards would love a child of theirs if he/she were gay or trans or CF? Yeah, right.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
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Dorisan
However, having said that, I don't see the wrong in making a family, kids and grandkids included, out of non-DNA related people. There are people who suffered shitty circumstances in their life who deserve to have family. The non-biological parent/grandparent just needs to make sure that the status of their biological family is in order, or there is an honest reason for the estrangement and creation of a new family. Don't go and create this new family as a way to "punish" your own bio-kids, it's filthy thing to do to your DNA connections as well as the non-DNA people who you are using as a club rather than actually caring for their welfare.
-> 100% agreement, very well said
@ bell-flower: "So many Breeders profess to WUV THEIR KYDS SO MUCH....but it all comes down to loving them only if they conform to their parunts' lifestyle." -> YESSSS. So much for the real breeder's "unconditional" love - I love you but only when you do as I say.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 721 |
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mrs. chinaski
Two possibilites:
1. MIL does that only to spite you.
2. MIL is an old breeder who meets other old breeders.
Fellow old breeders always showed photos of grandchyldren
and she felt left out. Now she is happy as she has something
to present to the others.
MIL obviously considers the forster chyld her own chyld
but I think that's OK!
I used to have a friend who was adopted and the
parunts always made differences between her
and their bio-chyldren. They always showed her that
she didn't belong to a family as she wasn't their
"flesh and blood". Such a behaviour is nasty.
You bet that behavior is nasty. I'm an adopted child, and, while making no secret of that fact, my parents never made a big deal out it to other people.
When my brother (their natural child) grew up he married a breeder who already had 3 boys. My parents instantly became "Grandma and Grandpa" and never let anyone refer to those boys as "stepchildren." My parents wouldn't even use the term "in-law" to describe their children's spouses. They were simply refered to as "our son" or "our daughter." Nicely inclusive, and no one ever got their feelings hurt.
To this day it irks the living hell out of me when anyone asks me about my "real" parents. The people who adopted me *were* my "real" parents. Those other people were merely my egg- and sperm-donor.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Your parents are decent people, they do everything right.
Everything is as it's supposed to be.
Little story to the topic.
Last week, my FIL had birthday. MIL invited her sister to join us for lunch.
Her sister started talking about her friends D.
D. have two sons, both married.
The first son's wife couldn't get inpig so they adopted a chyld.
The second son's wife could have only one chyld, so they
adopted an another one.
Then MIL's sister said: "D.'s told me that all three chyldren are
their grandchyldren, they don't make any differences between them.
It must be so difficult to like strangers who are not your flesh and blood.
I look at the photos and the biological chyld looks a lot like grandfather,
those other two don't resemble to anyone as they are not related."
-> She is so fucking stupid that it hurts. People like this make me sick.
Everything is as it's supposed to be.
Little story to the topic.
Last week, my FIL had birthday. MIL invited her sister to join us for lunch.
Her sister started talking about her friends D.
D. have two sons, both married.
The first son's wife couldn't get inpig so they adopted a chyld.
The second son's wife could have only one chyld, so they
adopted an another one.
Then MIL's sister said: "D.'s told me that all three chyldren are
their grandchyldren, they don't make any differences between them.
It must be so difficult to like strangers who are not your flesh and blood.
I look at the photos and the biological chyld looks a lot like grandfather,
those other two don't resemble to anyone as they are not related."
-> She is so fucking stupid that it hurts. People like this make me sick.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,198 |
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I look at the photos and the biological chyld looks a lot like grandfather,
those other two don't resemble to anyone as they are not related."
-> She is so fucking stupid that it hurts. People like this make me sick
Amen, Sister.
My DH doesn't have any adopted kids in his family, mostly because they come from a long line of uber-fertile, Hillbilly Breeding stock. DH's grandmother was one of FOURTEEN kids.
eyes2I could totally see them feeling this way, based on things they have said about other peoples' children.
I don't get the fascination with their own DNA. On average, in terms of DNA sequence, all humans are 99.5% similar to any other humans.
Breeders need to get over themselves, really. Their bloodline or DNA isn't all that special.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
@ bell_flower:
"uber-fertile, Hillbilly Breeding stock" - that's so funny :-)))
"Breeders need to get over themselves, really. Their bloodline or DNA isn't all that special."
--> THIS!
The MIL's sister is a grandmoo of 3. Those chyldren are NOT special in any way - they are
not exceptionally talented, they are not exceptionally intelligent, they are not exceptionally
pretty etc etc.* I also don't understand the fascination with bloodline.
*I don't mean it in any bad way. I am completely mediocre human being but I am AWARE of that.
"uber-fertile, Hillbilly Breeding stock" - that's so funny :-)))
"Breeders need to get over themselves, really. Their bloodline or DNA isn't all that special."
--> THIS!
The MIL's sister is a grandmoo of 3. Those chyldren are NOT special in any way - they are
not exceptionally talented, they are not exceptionally intelligent, they are not exceptionally
pretty etc etc.* I also don't understand the fascination with bloodline.
*I don't mean it in any bad way. I am completely mediocre human being but I am AWARE of that.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 20, 2015 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 180 |
I agree, its just more par for the course breeder selfishness, arrogance, & pretentious bullshit. Some abilities can't just be inherited by genetics anyway. Even if there is a genetic component, the abilities themselves are not inherited, just traits that help them. To top it off, genetics is a gamble, even if traits run in a family, there is still no guarantee those traits will be dominant & will come through, the odds are just higher. This is even the case with animals, which rely more on genetics than humans, because they are not sentient & don't have hands, or well articulated hands. There have been numerous thoroughbred racehorses with great pedigrees that didn't make the grade. Also, nothing spectacular ever came from royal interbreeding. If anything, there was only physical malformations & illness. Their power was in political connections. It had fuck all to do with genetics.There is no excuse for breeders to be so fixated with bloodlines. Its an antiquated, debunked, & as I said selfish, arrogant, & pretentious mentality.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 22, 2015 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 499 |
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mrs. chinaski
It must be so difficult to like strangers who are not your flesh and blood.
I look at the photos and the biological chyld looks a lot like grandfather,
those other two don't resemble to anyone as they are not related.
mob What a bitch. I wish people would stop perpetuating this idea that you are related by blood or you are not related at all. I am adopted and I had to deal with comments like that from my narcissistic niece. "You aren't /really/ Grandma's daughter." Screw that, and screw you, bitch. I hope the kids don't hear this, it can really hurt until they get old enough to grow out of giving a damn about other people's opinions. If you ever talk to them, you should pass along this saying: The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. I recently discovered it and it's a saying that I carry now, it takes away the pain I felt at being told I wasn't my mother's daughter.|
Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 22, 2015 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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bell_flower
I don't get the fascination with their own DNA. On average, in terms of DNA sequence, all humans are 99.5% similar to any other humans.
Breeders need to get over themselves, really. Their bloodline or DNA isn't all that special.
Coworker and I got into a discussion last week about genealogy. I've been at it for about 10 years and have .. lord, I've lost track ... umpteen thousand people in my tree, most related by blood. We started laughing over that because coworker stated "oh shit, let's just say we're all cousins."
Genetic research actually bears him out.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 22, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 216 |
You're not alone. My MIL, the SECOND she found out I was sterile, told DH to dump me and hated me henceforth. NOTHING I do is acceptable in her eyes as I've "seduced *dh* into a childless life." She refused to look at me, and after we got married, she cut off all affection from him.
Of course, when SIL bred a golden penis, she was lavished with affection and the ONLY contact we got from MIL was to come travel for 8+ hours to womb worship. When we did make the trip, we were treated like absolute garbage. SIL spawned a she-brat later and DH refuses to bother any more.
Of course, when SIL bred a golden penis, she was lavished with affection and the ONLY contact we got from MIL was to come travel for 8+ hours to womb worship. When we did make the trip, we were treated like absolute garbage. SIL spawned a she-brat later and DH refuses to bother any more.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 25, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
@ contemplative introvert:
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
-> that's great! # copy & paste
Fuck all those people...
@ bunny: What a bitch! I hope that karma will strike.
MIL should know that if someone takes care of the
elderly then it's the CF people. Breeders have no time
as they are busy "with the most important task ever".
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
-> that's great! # copy & paste
Fuck all those people...
@ bunny: What a bitch! I hope that karma will strike.
MIL should know that if someone takes care of the
elderly then it's the CF people. Breeders have no time
as they are busy "with the most important task ever".
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 25, 2015 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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contemplativeintrovert
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. I recently discovered it and it's a saying that I carry now, it takes away the pain I felt at being told I wasn't my mother's daughter.
YES
I come to a quick boil when people spout "blood is thicker than water." I don't know how that saying became so bastardized, but I feel like carrying small cards that read "dumbshit, ya gotta it alll wrong," on the front. On the back is the correct interpretation:
The bonds of those who are covenanted together by blood are considered to be stronger (thicker) than the bonds of those who share a mother's water from the womb.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 26, 2015 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 499 |
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Dorisan
YES
I come to a quick boil when people spout "blood is thicker than water." I don't know how that saying became so bastardized, but I feel like carrying small cards that read "dumbshit, ya gotta it alll wrong," on the front. On the back is the correct interpretation:
The bonds of those who are covenanted together by blood are considered to be stronger (thicker) than the bonds of those who share a mother's water from the womb.
Thank you! I am glad I found a site with intelligent like-minded people. Lately I've been dealing with a lot of attitude from my brother and it was implied I should just tolerate it anyway, because he's family. I have never believed in the sanctity of non-voluntary obligations, familiar obligations included. Of course, when I say that to the people in my life, I'm told again "but family is everything!" :headbrick Right. Because being happy doesn't hold a candle to the joy I feel at being treated rudely and being expected to be okay with it because it came from a relative
Anonymous User
Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 26, 2015 |
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contemplativeintrovert
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Dorisan
YES
Thank you! I am glad I found a site with intelligent like-minded people. Lately I've been dealing with a lot of attitude from my brother and it was implied I should just tolerate it anyway, because he's family. I have never believed in the sanctity of non-voluntary obligations, familiar obligations included. Of course, when I say that to the people in my life, I'm told again "but family is everything!" :headbrick Right. Because being happy doesn't hold a candle to the joy I feel at being treated rudely and being expected to be okay with it because it came from a relative
That's the typical Pollyanna, fairy tale mindset common in so many countries where people are told to tolerate garbage from parents and other relatives just because "they're Famileee." Irritates me to no end.
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Re: Goodamn Delusional MIL! August 26, 2015 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,629 |
Ugh. The kind of bullshit that OP and The Wolf are putting up with is why I don't define family as "the people you shared a home and/or DNA with". I have a good relationship with my own mom, dad, siblings, etc. but due to geography, growing up and moving away, etc. I now share more time with the family-of-choice section of my family tree--my spouse, people I met in college or at summer work, and so on. They're the ones I turn to for support lately because they're nearby and can help, and they're just as important to me as my nuclear family.
People shouldn't get away with mistreatment of others, and no one in my life gets a pass just because they share a home and/or DNA. If it's something I wouldn't put up with in a co-worker, buddy, or stranger...why should they get away with it?
People shouldn't get away with mistreatment of others, and no one in my life gets a pass just because they share a home and/or DNA. If it's something I wouldn't put up with in a co-worker, buddy, or stranger...why should they get away with it?
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