Parents with multiple children are the happiest of all family sizes, study concludes.

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/the-happiest-parents-just-might-surprise-you-126930422602.html

I'm not buying what this researcher is selling.

Sure, some people truly do love parenting, but far too many others are miserable.

How much of the aforementioned study was based on self-reporting? People are naturally biased, and it takes an intelligent, self-aware person to not be blinded by their biases.

Besides that, we live in a world in which it is taboo to admit that parenting blows. It is usually very difficult for parents to admit -- in public, no less -- that raising children is not "all worth it."

It can take a few drops of truth serum, AKA "alcohol", for buried feelings to come to the surface.

They will complain about the job for which they signed up but then do an obligatory backpedal so that they don't look like monsters; the need for acceptance is a powerful motivator.

It makes perfect sense in that when you've got 4+ kids, you can use the older siblings to take care of the younger siblings. And that's whether they like it or not.


However...

1. I'd like to know if this study took into account and controlled for all of the families' income. 4+ kids on any kind of a limited budget = major problems and subsequent unhappiness.

2. I'd like to know if the families' being surveyed had children who were at or approaching college age. People can't afford to put one kid through college, let alone four. That would be a major stressor for any family.

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StudioFiftyFour
It makes perfect sense in that when you've got 4+ kids, you can use the older siblings to take care of the younger siblings. And that's whether they like it or not.


However...

1. I'd like to know if this study took into account and controlled for all of the families' income. 4+ kids on any kind of a limited budget = major problems and subsequent unhappiness.

2. I'd like to know if the families' being surveyed had children who were at or approaching college age. People can't afford to put one kid through college, let alone four. That would be a major stressor for any family.

Ah! I didn't think of them using the older kids as free babysitters!

I also wonder about the noise level. One of my cousins has 3 kids, the youngest a baby who was born a month ago, and the second youngest still in diapers. I can't help but wonder about the noise level in that house. LOL!

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videogamesforeverkidsnever


Ah! I didn't think of them using the older kids as free babysitters!

Yeah. It happens more often then you think. It's kind of a cross between child labor and chattel slavery, when you think about it.

People don't admit it, or at least don't talk about it in polite company, but I think there's a huge amount of unspoken regret once a child is born. All of a sudden the udder rubs are gone. The pregnant parking spaces no longer apply. The baby showers are over. I think there's a great feeling of disappointment that must come with that.

After a couple of years the kid is up and walking and talking. If you've got an older child in the house who can provide basic care for it, well, why not? No need for your life to be burdened unnecessarily.

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StudioFiftyFour
It makes perfect sense in that when you've got 4+ kids, you can use the older siblings to take care of the younger siblings. And that's whether they like it or not.

Wondering how many childfree were forced into free babysitting? Maybe this is the perfect strategy, force your spawn to babysit the younger spawn and there is no need to be concerned about teenage parents, or the older spawn ever spawning! Because they are very aware of what spawning will entail (except for some of the physical aspects).

Not all spawn are as easily brainwashed into thinking babeez are the most amazing thing on the planet or are indoctrinated with the Duhhh gers mentality.

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freya

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StudioFiftyFour
It makes perfect sense in that when you've got 4+ kids, you can use the older siblings to take care of the younger siblings. And that's whether they like it or not.

Wondering how many childfree were forced into free babysitting? Maybe this is the perfect strategy, force your spawn to babysit the younger spawn and there is no need to be concerned about teenage parents, or the older spawn ever spawning! Because they are very aware of what spawning will entail (except for some of the physical aspects).

Not all spawn are as easily brainwashed into thinking babeez are the most amazing thing on the planet or are indoctrinated with the Duhhh gers mentality.

I bet the Duggar matriarch and patriarch use their older kids to babysit the younger ones, since there is no way 2 adults have the time and energy to give 20 people their undivided attention. I don't know if it's true but I read that Jim Bob and Michelle made/make their brood use a sign up sheet to schedule one-on-one time with them.

When we were younger, my eldest step-sister was kind of a free babysitter for her 3 other siblings, plus both me and my sister.

My dad and step-mom have always worked hard, so my step-sister was left in charge. She went on to have 2 kids and is thinking about having a 3rd.

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videogamesforeverkidsnever

My dad and step-mom have always worked hard, so my step-sister was left in charge. She went on to have 2 kids and is thinking about having a 3rd.

She may have really enjoyed babysitting, but there's no guarantee that her oldest child will. And if that's the case, I'll bet dollars to donuts that any kind of future argument will end with your step-sister saying, "Well when I was your age I had to babysit, so now you must babysit."

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freya

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StudioFiftyFour
It makes perfect sense in that when you've got 4+ kids, you can use the older siblings to take care of the younger siblings. And that's whether they like it or not.

Wondering how many childfree were forced into free babysitting? Maybe this is the perfect strategy, force your spawn to babysit the younger spawn and there is no need to be concerned about teenage parents, or the older spawn ever spawning! Because they are very aware of what spawning will entail (except for some of the physical aspects).

Not all spawn are as easily brainwashed into thinking babeez are the most amazing thing on the planet or are indoctrinated with the Duhhh gers mentality.

I am the youngest one of all siblings. Older siblings babysat me at times. All of my older siblings bred. I did not babysit my siblings but did babysit my siblings' kids - it sucked - bad. I was CF before and the tasks assigned to me only made me more CF.

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StudioFiftyFour

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videogamesforeverkidsnever

My dad and step-mom have always worked hard, so my step-sister was left in charge. She went on to have 2 kids and is thinking about having a 3rd.

She may have really enjoyed babysitting, but there's no guarantee that her oldest child will. And if that's the case, I'll bet dollars to donuts that any kind of future argument will end with your step-sister saying, "Well when I was your age I had to babysit, so now you must babysit."

I don't think she enjoyed it that much. LOL! She'd get mad at us for not eating the stuff she cooked, for example. It's just not fair to make a teen be responsible for 5 kids who are not even hers.

I was watching a show called "Smile", which chronicles people with the most awful teeth you'll ever see as they get help from the country's best dentists, free of charge.

One woman on the show had to practically raise her entire brood of over 8 siblings and, as a result, she greatly neglected her dental hygiene. She put her teeth low on the list of priorities because she was so busy cleaning up her mom's mess.

It's not an excuse, I know, but I'm trying to point out how unfair it is to make older siblings play house involuntarily.

http://www.tvguide.com/tvshows/smile/800363/

Her name is Brooke; it's the video titled "I'm a witch!"

People will delude themselves into anything. This flies in the face of the studies done on happiness factor after the loaf drops in.
they have to delude themselves: they would either kill the offspring and/or themselves.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I noticed that parents were getting VERY ANGRY about that article/study that came out recently saying that having children is worse than getting a divorce etc. I feel like this here is a direct response to that.

There there widdle parents and your fee fees...

This study "chyldren cause more unhappiness than divorce etc"
was published in my home country too.
The article had 500+ comments.
Most of them were pissed off parunts who insisted on being
soooooo extremely happy with their choices.
There was so much rage, hatred
and even personal attacs against the authors, it was unbelievable.
When parunts are sooooo happy and balanced with their precious chyldren,
why are they openly hostile towards people who have a different opinion???
I am sure they don't get emotional for nothing...

There were a few honest comments: one man posted that chyld is a stress
factor for his family life, one woman posted that their lives changed so much
after having two chyldren that it resulted in isolation, lack of me-time and money issues
but those posts ended "but we love our chyldren and will always take care of them as
good as we can".

Of course they are going to say this, because they want to encourage people to breed larger famblees. It's all propaganda, as far as I'm concerned. The truth is, that the majority of breeders are miserable. Only a few parunts are equipped mentally, physically and financially to handle that kind of responsibility.

Spawning multiple bastards in today's society is completely unethical, imo, because the world population is waaayyy tooo bloated. We need fewer people spawning, and spawning fewer brats at that. Our resources are finite and can't handle all these fucking humans.

Parents with multiple children are the happiest of all family sizes, study concludes.

ORlly? Anyone talked to anybody in the Duggar family lately? Wonder how 'happy' they are right now?

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barbur
Parents with multiple children are the happiest of all family sizes, study concludes.

ORlly? Anyone talked to anybody in the Duggar family lately? Wonder how 'happy' they are right now?

It's self-reported, so they'll certainly say they're happy. However, the gulf between reality and professed feelings/beliefs appears to be a pretty wide chasm for social conservatives.

I'll bet people like the Duggars claim to be happy and make actually be happy because they don't raise the spawn. They dump them on the older girls. Also, I'll bet the traditional female chores get dumped on the girls. I find the idea of being pregnant repugnant but clearly Ma Duggar loves it. The only thing she has to do is screw and gestate. She has a hoard of free live in nannies and maids.
I don't think it right to force older kids to babysit. People need to be responsible for their own children. I'm not talking about the occasional hour or so here and there but as a regular thing, no. People need to only have the kids they can afford to be with themselves or paid sitters.
I personally think that all the sexual abuse in the Duggar house wouldn't have gone on or at would have been stopped much sooner if the parents were actually parenting instead of humping and breeding all the time. What is sad is people idolized these idiots as wonder parents when they were really just parents who neglected their daughters by leaving the abuser in the home and neglected the molesting son by not sending him to intense inpatient counseling. CPS needs to pay a visit to both the elder Duggars and perv sons homes.

I would like to find out who paid for this "study". Was it some kids products retailer? Was it some private child care investment group? If there was money at stake, I can be certain that "study" has begun with a certain outcome in mind.

Parents, in general, are also restricted in their free speech. They can't say that kids are difficult and expect their kids to not get pissed off. They can't say that their lives were better without kids and expect to go on without raising an eyebrow and be labeled as a child abuser.

Parenthood can be viewed as prison. If a prisoner speaks of free times they had before the prison, they may get labeled as a potential escapee. The best way that prisoners deal with prison, they try to find one tiny thing that they like about being in prison and put their attention towards that. That makes the prison sentence seem shorter and easier to handle. Humans are designed to block out the bad for mental self preservation. Parenting is probably not very different.

we have the studies, we have ann landers famous questionnaire, tons of stuff on our side.
lemmings over the cliff they are

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

If I remember correctly, they talked to a lesbian who has 4 brats, and claims to be happy -- that right there is self-reporting and doesn't count.

Edit: Ah, forget what I typed above! They did talk to LGBTQ families who claimed to be happy but not a specific one with 4 children.

The self-reporting aspect still applies, though.

A friend of mine's mother went to great lengths to have her, experiencing a great number of miscarriages first.
She was a great mother and her daughter also turned out great. Despite the fact that both had to overcome huge obstacles in their lives. The happiest famblees I've witnessed limit it to one kid. Even if the parents have good intentions those with multiples tend to be too busy to be a truly attentive parent and may not realize one of their kids is being sought after by a perv, etc.

Sadly, they are exceptions. Most people are poorly equipped to handle one child, let alone multiple. I think most children who think their 'runts show overt favoritism to another sibling are probably correct. I've seen more obvious examples of this happening than great parenting. To top it off, once the kids are grown the 'runts tend to treat their golden sprogs kids with overt favoritism as well. It is sad for a kid to have to compete for affection with another sibling.

If you are a parent, you CAN'T say you are unhappy. That would be perceived as one of the most politically incorrect, insensitive positions one could take, even if it were 100% true.

There are certain things people don't say, and "parenthood sucks and I wish I'd never done it," is one of them.

So instead we hear....

"My life was miserable without kids."
"My child is my life."
"I can't imagine not being a father."
"My child might cure cancer..."

... on and on and on...

No, no, NO, No, No, NO! I am the oldest in a family of 5 kids. My middle sister was mean to me when I had a psychological diagnosis as a teen. I am still uncomfortable around her even though she has not been mean to me as an adult. There is 12 years between me and my younger brother. There are times I had to shower him and feed him because my mother was working because my parents were Catholic and 5 kids was too many in 1970. We were by no means poor at all, but having so many meant we ended up living in a community with a poor school system (Breed Hills) because houses in good school systems cost much more. Sometimes I wish we were 2 families so as to not have so many. I had to do a lot of "Home economics" because my sisters had more friends than I did and could get out of the house more. I helped to raise my brother (even when he was studying electrical engineering with his college homework) and what do I get for it? He is now a severe, raging alcoholic who has to go into detox/rehab again and a 90-year-old mother who is all into denial (maybe has to in order to cope at her age).

One think she did after having my brother, it was such a hard pregnancy that she asked the priest in confession if it was ok for her to take the relatively new birth control pills. He said OK, but why would anyone ask a priest for anything at all?

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Techie
Parenthood can be viewed as prison. If a prisoner speaks of free times they had before the prison, they may get labeled as a potential escapee. The best way that prisoners deal with prison, they try to find one tiny thing that they like about being in prison and put their attention towards that. That makes the prison sentence seem shorter and easier to handle. Humans are designed to block out the bad for mental self preservation. Parenting is probably not very different.

This is a good analogy and seems very spot on to me.

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freya

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Techie
Parenthood can be viewed as prison. If a prisoner speaks of free times they had before the prison, they may get labeled as a potential escapee. The best way that prisoners deal with prison, they try to find one tiny thing that they like about being in prison and put their attention towards that. That makes the prison sentence seem shorter and easier to handle. Humans are designed to block out the bad for mental self preservation. Parenting is probably not very different.

This is a good analogy and seems very spot on to me.

I agree.