How to deal with child-centric job when you hate kids

I posted more about this elsewhere on the site, but I wanted to put it here too, if that's okay. I recently got hired to do some part-time library assistant job at two separate elementary schools. I thought I'd be doing library duties, like checking books out, shelving books, that kinda thing. I found out today that this job involves acting as a librarian when the actual one decides to go fuck off and do something else. Not only that, but that I will have to watch and interact with entire fucking classes of kindergarteners and first graders, which, in my opinion, are the worst school-age groups of kids. And not only watch their asses, but read to them and do bullshit projects with them. I did not sign up for this shit. I wasn't told I'd be on daycare duty when the teachers don't want to do their jobs for an hour.

I do not know how to interact with brats because I avoid them at all costs in all situations. I have zero patience with kids, I hate/severely dislike kids, and when they start acting like monsters, my response is to walk the fuck away. When they start whining and crying, I want to smack them, and just because they're in a library doesn't mean they're going to be relatively quiet or behave. How the hell am I going to do this job? I've been sick all day just thinking about having to try and wrangle 30 fuckin' bastards, and my head is aching so much that I don't even want to keep my eyes open.

My only solution so far is to invest in a flask and some whiskey so I can duck in the bathroom now and then and take my "medication." Because my patience with brats is microscopic and I'm gonna be smacking somebody, no doubt in my mind.

My anxiety would be going full force... and I'd be out the door.

Cambion,

I'd be forthright with your employer and tell them that interacting with the brats on a more personal level was not part of the job description and that honestly you thought your job would involve more behind the scenes work, shelving books etc.

Also, library assistant doesn't mean you're the librarian when the other one is gone. Tell them that you are not comfortable working one on one with the brats and if you knew that then you wouldn't have taken the job in the first place.

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starlady
My anxiety would be going full force... and I'd be out the door.

Not everybody has that luxury. In fact, most people don't.

Cambion, I would read up on child development to learn what to expect from that age. Visit a local library with a children's program and ask if you can shadow/volunteer with the librarian who does children's program.

Mostly, keep in mind that you MUST have this job to move onto better things. Do not think of the job as an option but as something you are doing to survive. It isn't uncommon for adults to dislike their first job out of the gate but unless you want to live as a child in your mother's house you have to power through until something better shows up.

Why the fuck would I need to bother shadowing a kid event at a library when I'm already dealing with kids at a library? I'd rather just kill two birds with one stone and watch the librarian I have to share a library with.

The whole reason I applied for the library and secretary jobs is because I assumed they would have little actual interaction with kids (compared to classroom assistant jobs). I mean yeah, I figured I'd have to see kids, be in their general vicinity and check out materials for them. I didn't know I'd be getting this involved.

I figure they'll just tell me "too bad" if I say I wasn't expecting this kind of student interaction, so I'm kind of hoping I just get fired at this point. I'm looking at the giant list of bullshit job duties I was given and there is NOTHING on there that would suggest I have to brat-sit and do story hour every fucking day. There's the required duties, which are all library-related... and then there's the kinda-sorta duties, which are also library-related and include things like "go to meetings" and "assist teachers in finding materials" and all that.

Library work would be fine, but why the fuck is it my job to entertain the brats who come in? I suppose brat-work could fall under one of the reeeeally vague job duties like "do shit the librarian or teacher tells you," but there is nothing that specifically says "read to the kids" or "work WITH them." And about 95 percent of the other job duties are very specific.

On top of all that, I got to hear all about how everybody needs to be a team player in order to be a good fit. I hate that crap - out one side of their mouths, they tell you you need to be expected to handle doing shit with no supervision. Out the other side, they give you this whole "team player, no solo fliers allowed" crap. So which is it?

These fuckstains are really pissing me off. They didn't tell me I'd have to drive out into no man's land for half my job and waste gas, nor did they tell me I'd have to babysit. I would rather scrub the floor of a porn theater with a toothbrush than work with kids.

Is the teacher of the kids going to be present with them in the library?
Especially with the kindergarten kids, most of them require at least one teacher
and a teaching assistant or two and it may be a law. I can't imagine the school system being ok with leaving an entire group of little kids alone with you. Some kids that age aren't even able to behave yet and there will always be one or more who needs to go to the bathroom. I would guess you are strictly there to read stories to the kids and everything else would be another adult's responsibility.

I don't know about the culture of the school you're at but at the one I attended they expected kids of all ages to behave and punishment was doled out otherwise.

Also, I worked as a library helper as a fifth grader in the computer lab. All fifth graders were eligible to do this at the time and the librarian chose the students who met their reading goals first. I actually enjoyed it because the little kids (it was one on one) were behaved and fascinated by the computer and being able to play on it. We were on our best behavior because it was much more fun to help out than sit in class! It was an hour or two a week, so it helped out the library and didn't impact the older kids ability to complete their schoolwork either.

Is it possible that you may have older children who help out? Or other help?

My first job (not including the one where I sold candy) was working at a department store. I was thrilled until I learned they had put me in the children's department. Not so happy to learn this!
I considered what I would do if I loathed every minute of it but a part-time job that worked around my high school schedule wasn't easy to find in the small town.

Turned out to be much better than I thought it would be because my co-worker and I would cope by taking turns with breaks if we happened to be around loud screaming kids. And all the drama queens worked in different departments, so we were able to avoid that scene. It was certainly way better than I anticipated.

Well excuse the hell out of me. I know if I had to work with age group I was uncomfortable with I would want to learn from several people who do it.
Why do you ask for advice when you clearly don't want it? What you seem to want is people to tell you life is unfair and encourage to storm out until that dream job or lottery check appear.
You shoot down every suggestion anybody has for improving you chances at a job or acquiring additional skills, transportation, getting insurance or paying off debt.
The only ideas you seem open to are a very narrow few jobs or begging for money on the internet.
Life doesn't always unfold into a fairy tale. I certainly had my share of struggles right out of school but I was always happy to have my independence, even if it met multiple jobs I didn't love.

Only once in a while will the teachers themselves be in the library with the kids (during which time they will supervise the fuckers). The teachers just dump the kids in the library when they need a break from them.

Same with the librarian - no clue where the fuck she's gonna be if not in the library. I was told that I would be in charge of the kids a lot of the time, by myself. I will have no other help - the other library assistant they hired will be covering the morning shift while I have the second shift, and I was told nothing about older kids coming in because their library time is in the morning. I'm stuck with the youngest brats.

Welp, maybe if I let the little shits trash the library a few times, they'll learn to not leave me alone with them. Or better yet, maybe they'll fire me. I can only hope. I would honestly rather clean up a whole shelf of books a brat repeatedly knocks down all day long than have to actually interact with them and prevent said mess from happening.

Cambion, take the job. Maybe, just maybe, there will not be as many brats as you think. You might be thinking the worst that may not happen. And please, do not get a flask and drink behind the scenes, you could end up an alcoholic and your life will have to revolve around AA meetings (that's at best, you also get involved with hospitals, jails, criminal justice system). Even if you get fired, at least you tried to make your life better, because some of us are right, it seems you don't really want to find out how to solve your situation after all.

I just don't see how not wanting to work with kids means my job outlook is too narrow. That's like saying someone who is afraid of elephants has a too narrow job outlook because they don't want to be an elephant trainer for the circus or shovel shit out of the elephant enclosure at the zoo. We've all got that one kind of job we simply cannot do, and for me, working with children is that job. If you couldn't deal with heights, would you take a job as a pilot, or a maintenance worker that has to climb a 30-story tower to change a light bulb?

There are plenty of jobs I'd be glad or willing to work: office/clerical, secretary, receptionist, any kind of hospital-related job that doesn't require a degree, pharmacy technician, anything computer-related, janitor, I'd be a bartender if I knew anything about booze, house cleaner, anything in mortuary science that does not require a degree, delivery person, cashier, non-brat library work, and plenty more that are eluding me at the moment. There really are not any jobs I feel are below me, but I need to think about jobs that I actually can do.

And evilchildlessbitch, I think maybe you misunderstood me. I simply think your suggestion wouldn't really be helpful simply because I will already be receiving training and being forced to deal with kids at the job I already have. There would be little point in going elsewhere to learn how to do the same job, especially when the librarian has already told me she's got a very specific way she wants shit done. Plus, I am not exactly going to be going above and beyond for this job anyway. It's the teachers' jobs to give a damn about the students, not mine. So thank you for making your suggestion (and this also goes to the other folks who offer their ), but I think child development is more the behaviorist's thing. We may have to agree to disagree again.

This topic is sort of 75 percent rant and 25 percent suggestions on just how to cope with a job you hate in general. I mostly just wanted to unload a little (or a lot) because I'm under a lot of stress right now and have no alcohol.

I know life is unfair already - believe me, I don't need a reminder. I've also been dealt some shitty cards and that really does not help me either. I'm fighting a very uphill battle that I would never ever wish on anyone who I didn't hate. And I only shoot down suggestions people make when there is absolutely no way they could work and/or if they are impractical. I really don't like having to say "no, that isn't happening" because people think I'm making excuses. But I know my situation better than anyone and can say with all certainty that if I turn an idea down, it's because there's a reason for it. Not because I'm being picky or bitchy or lazy, but because, for one reason or another, it cannot be done. And I'm sorry when I have to do that.

However, no one is making anybody read my ranting, so if you don't want to hear it, you're more than welcome to mosey along, complain to the mods, and so forth.

Trust me, I do want to find a way out. But some ways are dead ends.

I don't know if that's gonna help but here is my POV:
I don't like chyldren.
However, I once had to go to a camp as a instructor.
In the end, the chyldren voted for me as the best instructor
of the camp.
I simply talked to them and dealt with them as if they were adults.
No kiddy kiddy shit.

Cambion, I still think you should take the job. It is very possible you could get a more behind-the-scenes role once you are there. The that can happen is you quit. At least you would get some work experience, which from what I read here, you don't have much of.

Are you trying to be like "I Love Lucy" where she cries and says something like "Waaaaaaa I lost my penny" and then Ricki goes and says something like "ahhhhh poor Lucy"? By the way, in that scene, a cop came by and said "If you stop crying, I'll give you a dime!"

Cambion, I still think you should take the job. It is very possible you could get a more behind-the-scenes role once you are there. The that can happen is you quit. At least you would get some work experience, which from what I read here, you don't have much of.

Are you trying to be like "I Love Lucy" where she cries and says something like "Waaaaaaa I lost my penny" and then Ricki goes and says something like "ahhhhh poor Lucy"? By the way, in that scene, a cop came by and said "If you stop crying, I'll give you a dime!"

They way I see it, Cambion is just frustrated.
Cambion doesn't like chyldren and would like to work.
Out of many, many jobs out there - what does Cambion get?
A job with chyldren of course!

I can relate to it on some level.
When I was studying, I worked as a waitress.
I hated that job. I was desperate to find something else,
I didn't find anything for years. It sucked big time :-(

Many times it is better to keep the job because it is easier to find a job when you already have a job. That being said it is possible to hate a job to the point where it can affect your health and you end up screwing up at work and getting fired, no reference that way. Only you can decide. If you were to quit I would find something else ASAP or see a career counseller for direction. If libraries are the way you want to go, they will be going the way of the do-do bird in the future. Where I live there are 9 libraries in a 30 mile radius. They have kids programs going on constantly to convince taxpayers not to shut them down in the world of Kindles. The days of libraries as quiet places are gone and they are semi-daycares now. It is up to you either way

Most kids are fascinated when story time comes along. Instead of reading Curios George, why not read something from Mythology to them? This is an opportunity to do something they will remember since I'm sure no one else will read to them the story of Arachne or why we have winter. As much as you hate kids, it's still a job...why not have a little bit of fun with it while you are doing it? You could even illustrate some of the fairy tales that don't have pictures with your own idea of what is going on in the story. You may even get some comissions for your work.

Cambion, I did misunderstand the point of your post.
I thought you were asking for advice not primarily just bitching.
I know it is frustrating to not be able to find a job you want and I have no doubt being dependent on your mother with a lot of debt is overwhelming.
At the end of the day though, we all have to be the captain of our own ships. There are very few adults who haven't had jobs they hated but sucked it up and went until they found something better. In this economy with almost every having some sort of debt, it is unlikely a magic fairy is waiting on the other end of the internet to give you money to pay off the loans.
You dismiss almost every idea people give you. Certainly that is your choice but why rule out every idea without trying?

Cambion

As another person who had to eat shit for the first 19 months of my job before moving into the department for which I was qualified, I just have to say "you do it or resign yourself to the alternative." I had a computer degree and was stuck in the mail room/microfiche (!) area toting 50 lb boxes and dealing with neanderthal men. Sexual harassment - REAL PHYSICAL MOVES - was not yet recognized as something that had consequences for the offenders in 1981.

The alternative for me was a batshit crazy grandmother who passive-aggressively alluded that my independence in an apartment meant that I was no doubt having orgies every night. I kept the hell memories of living with her in front of me when dealing with those louts ("I didn't touch your butt, I just brushed your hip. why are you being such a bitch.") Thank BOB I met my future husband when I finally escaped to the computer room. I would have sworn off men for life after putting up with those fuckers had I not met the truly kind and decent man I later married.

I'm sure that that those of us who have read your posts on other sections cheered when you said you have a job. It's not turning out to be what you want, but if you leave or do something to make them get rid of you, it's going to be a black mark on your resume.

You've had the fucked up life with your mother and her POS boyfriend, that should gird you for this; probably more than you know if you stick to it. Do a year, get your work experience and references; maybe network. I know that is a buzzword; personally I don't have much faith in it, but ya never know. At least show them your skills. Who knows what opportunities you might have, once in the door. The kid duties might be passed to the next rookie who won't loath them.

You have got to give this a chance. And we'll be here to be your vent outlet. We have been for awhile. We want you to get out and make an independent life.

I work in a school, and I'm on Bratfree, too. There are a number of teachers and other school employees posting here. That should tell you something.

You're a paraprofessional. You have to do what they tell you. Because you're the new person on the totem pole, you got the crappier assignment. Such is life. right now, I'm assigned to a place in which I'd much rather transfer out of, but seeing as they won't let me, I suck it up and do the best job I can do. I work with kids too, all ages. You can do this, Cambion. It's not about liking or disliking kids. it's about discipline and control. Right off the bat, set boundaries, rules, and expectations for library behavior, and stick to it. See what discipline system the school uses, or the librarian prefers. If they're not using anything, then I recommend assertive discipline. Read up on it, because it works. You'll also want to work collaboratively with the librarian to define your daily duties when he/she is there with the students. I know what the district told you, but things change a lot when classes come and go and the librarian is busy getting students seated, organized, etc. Unless you're fully certified, you cannot be left alone with a group of students. By law there must be a certified teacher with them at all times. Check the laws in your state, because they CANNOT make you act as a librarian on days she is't there, unless you're certified, or substitute certified. If they do, then they're violating state law, which can get the principal and the district into a lot of trouble with the state.

You're not required to write lesson plans. If the teachers try to force that on you, then go to your supervisor and let them know what is going on.

Take, and keep this job, Cambion. As others have said, this is your ticket to better jobs in the future, and eventual independence from your mother. I worked shit jobs when I first finished university for very low pay and no health benefits. We all went through this. But I was able to work those jobs into better opportunities for the future. If i was in your position, I'd be THRILLED to get a job, ANY JOB, so as to have eventual independence from family. Hell, I WAS in your position, and that's why I worked crap jobs 20 years ago. Sometimes we don't get to pick and choose the perfect job we want. Sometimes we have to earn that spot, or create that job ourselves.

There are enough teachers on this board that if you need help, just make a new thread about it, or PM one of us, and we can give you advice. I know I'll try to help you out. But you have to try your best at this position, and make it work.

Peace already said a lot of the things that came to my mind when I was reading your post, so I'll try not to repeat.

As an assistant you aren't even allowed to act as librarian in his/her absence...if the librarian is gone, she/he should have arranged for a certified sub, and that sub should then carry out lesson plans (I've been that sub, and every time I was there, the assistant pretty much did her usual routines). Don't let them pass that off to you; it's not legal.

Talk to experienced teachers and other paraprofessionals for suggestions on discipline. Every school has school-wide behavior expectations, so get to know those so that you can work within that system & get support from other adults/administrators as needed. View the kids as part of the job...liking them is not required. In fact, a lot of inexperienced teachers waste energy getting kids to like them. Respect is required on both sides, but they don't have to like you and vice versa.

Teachers can't send their entire class to the library just because they want a break. They should have scheduled times for their classes to be there. I've never seen a teacher try that, but if they do then send 'em the hell back because their whims don't trump your schedule. You may get a handful of kids here and there who come down on a library pass because they want to turn in a finished book, or do some research, or something. But that's different.

Keep this job, and while you have it keep reminding yourself that it's your first step toward something greater. Establish rapport with some other folks in the school, because they can be professional references when you apply for a different job. And as Peace said, there are several school professionals on this board...we can be a good resource for you.

There is no fun to be had in this job. I was counting the minutes until I could clock out the moment I clocked in. I was late and I did not give a single fuck (no, it wasn't on purpose - two dogs chased my car when I left this morning and I was trying to not hit them).

And yes, I am 100 percent sure that I will be alone most days - no teacher, no sub, no other assistants, nothing. The teachers drop their classes off and then collect them 40 or so minutes later. Out of every seven work days, the librarian will be with me ONCE. I'm alone at one of the schools the other six days, and no, I am not certified in anything. There is some kinda thing where older kids will come in and entertain the younger kids, but that won't be for a while. The librarian will be with me for the next several days for training, I guess, but after that, I'm manning the library at one school while she's working the library at the other one.

I don't think I can do this. I don't know how to interact with kids, I do not have an assertive voice, I don't know how to deal with them when they act like shits, I have no patience with them, I've already forgotten all the crap the librarian requires them to do in order to find and take out books (she's got this whole system) and everything in regard to the whole checkout and shelving nonsense still doesn't make any sense. I took forever sorting out student library cards today and wasn't told until later on they had to be sorted by classroom (they were all just in a big heap), so that took even longer.

I think I'll just let the little shits do whatever they damn well please. If they want to scream and dance, fine. No skin off my nose. If I wanted to be a fuckin' librarian or a teacher, I'd have been a fuckin' librarian or a teacher. I was NOT told I would be left by myself in charge of one (sometimes two) whole class(es). I have no behind-the-scenes role - I pretty much am the librarian for days at a time. I have no idea if someone needs to escort the kids to the bathroom, I don't know if I can leave them alone for a few minutes if I have to go pee. There's this bullshit where you use a time card and fill out hours on a sheet too (why the fuck do you need both?).

And the system this school uses is to send down the whole fucking class at one time. Not just the ones who genuinely want to read or work on something - everybody has to come down and everybody has to borrow a book. And when you've got 25 or so kids in a single class, that's a lot of fuckin' people.

This job is just stressing me out more and more and I haven't even really officially started. All yesterday and last night, I was terribly sick, I slept most of the day after work and would just start crying randomly. I wouldn't even feel it come on - my eyes would just start watering. Like I said, this isn't because I have a new job - it's because I have to deal with a group of people who I not only HATE, but who I have no idea how to deal with. I can't get fired soon enough from this horse shit.

My advice echoes that of Peace and randomcfchick.

Keep this job, but look for something else A.S.A.P.

Does the librarian have rules and procedures ironed out? If you are alone with the kids, be very exact about everything they do in your class. I give my students assigned seats. If they complain, too fucking bad; my class is a benevolent dicatorship. Assigning seats also helps you learn their names. No one gets out of their seats without my permission. One girl and one boy at a time may use the restroom. I do not let them go for drinks. I speak loudly, but not shouting, and give simple, short directions. Also, I believe in "less talk, more rock". Kids start to tune out if you talk at them too much. I hate being strict, but this is the only way to survive.

You live in the same state as I do, if I remember correctly from your posts. It is totally illegal for a non-certified person to be alone with a group of students. Sometimes, my principal has to cancel my music classes and make me cover the emotional support or autistic classes when the teachers are out because not many subs want to come to my building (grrr). The special ed. aides have everything under control, but they need a certified body in the room.

I understand a library or classroom aide covering a class for a few minutes in a pinch, like in an emergency, but anything else is not in compliance. The library aides in my building shelve books, check out books for students, put labels on things, hang up decorations, etc. The libararian plans the lessons, teaches, orders books, and puts together the book fairs. She HAS to be in the library at all times when she is scheduled to teach.

Is this school public or private? I know the private schools can get away with more nonsense of this variety.

Feel free to PM me if you need any advice, as I've been a teacher for six years.

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Also, about your bathroom breaks: you cannot leave the room. I have trained myself to use the bathroom during lunch and on a 15-minute prep I get later in the day. If you have an emergency, like the time I had a nosebleed during orchestra class, you have to call the office and see if someone can cover you.

Kindergarteners and first graders should be able to walk to the bathroom alone. Make sure you know where the bathrooms are in relation to the library. At that age, they can't really fill out a sign-out sheet, so you might want to just keep track of that yourself. Oh yeah, and when one kid asks to "go pee", about seven more hands will shoot up. I am not allowed to say "no", but I only let one girl and one boy go at at time. It's so annoying.

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I'm happy you at least got this job, but I can't expect you to eat the chyuld shit sandwich with a smile either. I'd be pissed too, since I don't know how to interact with kiddies. I mean, I'll be nice to them, but I interact with them as adults. I don't know how to brat talk and worship moo ass. I wonder if they lied because no one around wants to work with brats? Real shitty what they did there, and I understand why you're freaking out.

On the bright side, maybe this is a chance to teach the kids to not suck, since you're already in that hellhole. Maybe share some cool books or hobbies. Don't lower yourself to tard talk. Maybe it will be refreshing to them to be talked to on a different level? At least they're not toadlers. Of course, take all this with a grain of salt. I've never worked with brats and I'm basing this on how I was as a brat.

If you can't afford to quit, still put out applications in the meantime so you can get the fuck out of there ASAP.

I would feel a tiny bit more at ease if I had some other bag of meat in the library with me - dealing with kids is shitty enough, but doing it alone is freaking me out. And this is a public school district. Who should I speak to about being by myself? The principal? Administration?

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The library aides in my building shelve books, check out books for students, put labels on things, hang up decorations, etc.

This is what I thought I'd be doing... assisting, not running the library on my own. It's not assisting when the librarian is 20 miles away. And it seems that I would also be responsible for hashing out lesson plans with teachers if I need to. This is a lot to deal with at one time, especially for someone with no prior library or student experience.