From Smothering: "Dear horny neglected Duhs, shut the fuck up. No love, your wives."

http://www.mothering.com/articles/open-letter-sexually-frustrated-husbands/

The actual title of this "article" is An Open Letter to the Sexually Frustrated Husbands, and I just knew it was gonna be good.

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Moo
We were thinking… there might be some simple things we could try to keep our connection- maybe a weekly date night on the couch to watch a favorite tv show together? You could try that old yawning-arm-over-the-shoulder trick… and I could try relaxing and letting you put your arm around me.

Umm, this is what people might do on awkward first dates, not with someone they've fucked and bred with. Really, lady, this guy has been inside you at least twice, and you're suggesting that a way to keep the fire going is with flirting techniques employed by 14-year-olds?

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Moo
We adore you, respect you and are thrilled to share this amazing journey of parenthood with you.

Don't overshoot the runway there, Moo.

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Moo
Our hearts have the ability to give boundless love and as our family grows, our love multiplies.

No, when you breed, you love does not multiply. It divides. A much larger portion of that love goes to the brats than it does to the husband.

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Moo
There will be years of dating, flirting and rolling around in the sheets- just the two of us- in our future.

Oh yeah? When? In 20 years when Derpley and Paaay'dhennn-nn are in college and only call when they want money?

---

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that women have to perform "wifely duties" and satisfy their grunting Neanderthal husbands regardless of how they feel. But this just sounds like the typical list of bullshit excuses as to why Moo "can't" have sex. She could if she really wanted to, but I think after loaf #1, they only want to fuck their men when their loins begin itching for another brat.

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Comments
Do you know what goes through a mans mind when he is not getting physical affection from the woman he has chosen to live his life with, to raise his children with? It is complete and utter destruction to his self worth, down to his very soul. It is crushing. To know that not only have you taken a back seat to your children, you are not even in the car anymore.

Plus, I know this isn't just about sex. Once they breed, women tend to cut off ALL goddamn intimacy with their men, including the G-rated stuff, and they blame it on being too tired from brat-wrangling. Guys want to feel loved, and most of the time, the way to show them that is via physical means (not necessarily sex, but touching in general). I'm sure most of them understand that their wives are going to be too wiped out to fuck them for a while, but these women stop showing their husbands any and all affection once the loaf gets sluiced. It's gotta be fucking painful for guys to get shoved away by their wives all the time when they just want to snuggle, and I imagine many resent their kids and their wives because the husbands were there first, yet they get ignored in favor of the brat.

Is Moo really that exhausted than she can't manage a hug, kiss and an "I love you"? Funny how most Moos have the energy to give their widdle bastards loads of hugs, kisses and "I love you's," but no strength to spare just one of those to the men who helped them make said bastards. Because unless she's fuckin' comatose, she can, in fact, manage that much.

If she's lost total interest in the guy, she won't leave him because she wants to be a SAHM and needs him to financially support her ass, and then she moans about what a selfish man-whore he is when she finds out he's cheating on her. Also, does Moo not think that her man makes sacrifices for her and/or the brats? Why can she not make the occasional sacrifice for him too? Moos expect all the stops to be pulled out for them, but they won't go out of their way for anybody else, including their own partners. Moos seem to think that their needs outweigh everyone else's and that nobody else's needs matter.

This medea person nailed it:

"Yet you were perfectly happy to have sex when you were getting what you wanted – a baby. Bet you wanted a big family and was happy to have a husband who allowed you to do that, while he got nothing in return except to be brought in from the stud barn when necessary. Maybe instead of having five you could have bothered to use some birth control so you wouldn’t be dealing with five and ignoring your husband."


OK, then do your husbands a favor and divorce them. Jesus, so they go to work and provide, and you can’t even find 10 minutes to let them hold you? You got what you wanted from them – their sperm – and now you toss them aside. Why bother getting married at all? Oh right, for their income.

There’s having a low libido because you’re tired, and there’s not even bothering. You clearly fall into the second category. Talk about selfish. I have twins who are now three, work full time and yet still find time to be a wife. It’s because I care about my husband and realize he has needs too. He’s a human being, not something you yank out of the closet when you are ready.

Put down the kid for 10 minutes. It won’t turn them into unattached serial killers, honest.

One more proof that moos are delusional, selfish bitches.

It's strange that they recognize that children need love, but seem to think that adults don't.

Being lonely can lead to premature death. Most people feel lonely when they are lack love and appreciation.

I fully expect that the sort of moo who can't show even the slightest interest in her husband is also the sort who furiously prevents him from fulfilling these needs in other ways, such as by spending time with friends, parenting equally (with the risk that the children might be more attached to him than her), or engaging with his family.

On the surface it makes no sense for anyone to stay in this situation, but if you look at it as emotional abuse, where the victim feels obligated and unworthy, it starts to make sense. Most of the eventual divorces are initated by women, not the men in these situations.

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Mommy Brain
Our hearts have the ability to give boundless love and as our family grows, our love multiplies. It’s true – you did have our total heart and soul when it was just us. But when that first baby took his first breath, his little soul crept into your body and took their portion back.

So she starts out saying that love is an infinite thing when it comes to kids. But in the next breath, she contradicts herself and shows her true colors: love is a zero-sum game for her. She only has so much love to go around, so husband gets the short straw. And I'm willing to bet that if one of her kids says "Do you love my brother more than me?" she will turn on the charm and talk about how love isn't like a cup of sugar that runs out. She'll say one thing to her kids, but model something entirely different with her relationship to their father. That's just dysfunctional.

She also mentions it at the end in the closing of her letter:

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Mommy Brain
With all our hearts (oh, minus the parts stolen by our offspring),

Your Loving Wives

And no, I don't think wives should be constantly available for their partners' sexual needs. Goodness knows there's dry spells and times during life when sex is off the menu. But the poor dude needs SOME type of physical affection, SOME type of acknowledgment that his wife still views him in a sexual way. And he needs some sign that his wife doesn't see this current sexual desert as the new normal.

Oh, and if she's ending sex for the time being, she doesn't get to be annoyed or shocked if she learns that her husband is taking care of matters himself.

ETA: and if he doesn't want a "family bed" like she mentions, she needs to respect that and have the kids sleep in their own beds. I've noticed that it's always the moms who're crowing about attachment parenting and bed-sharing. I've yet to read an article from a dad about how wholesome and great it is to share a bed with their kids.

In many posts I've read over there over the years, it really seems like a lot of the brats favor the dads. I think this is for a couple of reasons: they don't see their fathers constantly like they do their mothers, and the fathers tend to not take any crap from the kids whereas the mothers will let their kids slap them and spit on them while they employ gentle discipline. I see this in real life too, in the few families where there are two parents. I think this makes the Moos resent their husbands because they see it as they do all the work of raising the children and those kids turn around and clearly love Daddy more than Mommy. I think this could also be why Moos will cut off intimacy with their men: to passive-aggressively "punish" them for being the preferred parent. This increases ten-fold if the father in the kid's life isn't actually the biological father.

Moos also don't like letting their men have an active role in actually raising their kids because the average Moo is a micro-managing control freak, and she also wants to have an excuse to not show her man any form of affection. "I'm too tired because I spent all day taking care of your son." Plus, she also gets the added bonus of mooing to her heifer friends about what a worthless sack of shit her husband is because he "refuses" to help with child care. And I don't think most Moos could deal with it if their men proved that they can do just as well at raising kids as women. If men proved they could do a Moo's job, then Moos would no longer be special.

Also, yes, these would be the same kinds of women who screech if their husbands dare trying to find happiness in other ways, like going out with the boys, playing video games, or doing anything that isn't related to their kids. These men no longer feel loved by their wives and there's a big, depressing void in their lives as a result and they try to fill it in various ways. Sometimes those ways are pretty innocent, sometimes the void gets filled with mistresses and liquor. Once in a great while, the desire for happiness might turn to psychotic rage and Duh will murder Moo and calf. Moos object to their men seeking happiness to just get them through their days because the Moos themselves are not happy. If they do "let" their husbands go out and have fun, they bitch to their Moo friends about it.

There is just no winning. Guys used to try and get these things off their chests anonymously on True Dad Confessions, but I assume that hordes of shrieking Moos got the site shut down because they didn't want anyone knowing the truth. Moos like being seen as the overworked domestic princess goddess victims with deadbeat, sex-crazed husbands, and the last thing they want is people knowing their husbands' sides of the story.

This post reminds me to thank G-d again for being asexual. In my opinion, straight women have it rough, because they are always expected to be willing to frick frack if their significant other wants to.

@randomcfchick I agree. While I definately don't think anybody has to frick frack if they don't want to, I think if she's refusing hugs and the like, she's being unreasonable. Hugs aren't romantic, they're friendly (at least that's how I see them, someone more knowledgeable on etiquette might correct me). So I'm thinking that someone who has problem with hugs (a gesture that is friendly, not romantic) has a problem with contact in general. Not that she has to hug or cuddle or whatever if she doesn't want to, but I wonder why people like that, the kind that don't even like hugs and cuddling, even have relationships in the first place.

@contemplativeintrovert- I agree about hugs. I don't hug every single friend I have every single time I see them, but hugs, cuddling, etc are generally part of being a happy, healthy creature. They're how people express affection & strengthen bonds with others. She's totally being unreasonable. She can't just cut off the physical side of their marriage for the foreseeable future and expect him to say "okay, dear" and just take it.

@Cambion, I do agree with you about moms being control freaks. Frankly, I think that sometimes they do the "family bed" thing because it can be a way of passively cockblocking.

That was just fucking depressing. Meanwhile, if husband doesn't go above and beyond for Moobrain on Christmas, birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day, she'll loudly bitch and moan to everybody within earshot.

And what if husband stops trying? She'll start crying that he doesn't find her attractive anymore. So he's supposed to continue to get shut down just so Moo feels like somebody still desires her.

Moo is going to get a rude awakening in a decade or so when the children have grown up. She'll then decide that it's time to focus on her husband again, but now he's either leaving her (if he hasn't already) or he's filled his life with his own thing and no longer needs (or wants) his wife's attention. And Moo will be boohooing about that, too.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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PS
Moo is going to get a rude awakening in a decade or so when the children have grown up. She'll then decide that it's time to focus on her husband again, but now he's either leaving her (if he hasn't already) or he's filled his life with his own thing and no longer needs (or wants) his wife's attention. And Moo will be boohooing about that, too.

I have two married men hitting on me right now. Well, maybe not exactly 'hitting on me' - but several suggestive remarks have been made.

And both are quite good looking, and interesting people. Both are older and have adult children. One is mid 50s which would not be out of 'my range', I am 40 and do like (somewhat) older men. The other is - into Senior Citizen Range. Ha. But he looks much younger and is very good looking.

I'm working long hours lately - which can be used as an excuse to avoid people. I certainly do still spend time day dreaming - and was thinking of The Senior Citizen the other day ~

He reminds me of maybe - Actor Michael Douglas, as he is now / older man, with that shaggy grey hair that I like so much ~
Or maybe (sports personality) Bob Uecker.

Who I thought to look at pictures of, while wool gathering the other day ~
And I found this ~
http://90feetofperfection.com/2012/02/09/george-bo-bob-uecker-kurt-suzuki-a-rod-and-cora-stan-musial/

See the second pic down.

God. DAMN.

He's 55 in that pic. Rrraarrr!
I can't be the only gal (or guy) who likes the Finely Aged here ~

I did not need to see this. I do not need to be lusting after old - and *married* men. I should not be thinking about 'that guy'. Who is even *better looking*. And has that 'vibe' too. Very attractive guy.

SIGH.

No, I'm not going to be doing any married men.
98% sure

I have to stay focused on work ~

I don't doubt t for 5 second that there are an large number of moos who neglect their men. I also don't doubt there are a large number of duhs who neglect their women. I do think in extreme cases on either side the women or men just silently stop any sort of sex.
I also know a great many working mother friends who get the kids up, dressed while dressing themselves for work. They drop the kids at school for work, coordinate schedules, run kids to practices, attend games, makes sure their husband is fed after all this because heaven forbid the penis spouse take responsibility for his own nutrition, the kids get helped with homework, put to bed, she checks the calendar for the next day while duh lays back in his louse chair watching sports or playing games. If moo interrupts to ask for help he pouts like a child and refuses. Then, when games or sports are over he expects a blow job or a two minute fuck without concern for her needs.
Then, when his mommy wife doesn't humor his every need he spends the family money his wife helps earn on a prostitute who strokes his dick and giant fragile ego and tells him what a bitch his wife is.
Not saying this is the case here, but I seriously doubt both parties don't play a role in the lack of sex.

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contemplativeintrovert
This post reminds me to thank G-d again for being asexual. In my opinion, straight women have it rough, because they are always expected to be willing to frick frack if their significant other wants to.

Err, no. Maybe in the 1800s, but we do recognize things like marital rape these days.

It's true that frustration and resentment can build up, leading to the sort of pressure you observe from the outside, if the libidos are horribly mismatched. The person with the lower libido tends to set the limit - and that person could be the man or the woman. It's an oversimplification to think that men are demanding sex while women would rather not; that may be the case in some relationships but it can easily be the reverse. Hence the importance of making sure you're roughly matched. I doubt an asexual person like you wants to be pestered for sex all the time, and a highly sexual person doesn't want to be turned down all the time, either.

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evilchildlessbitch
I don't doubt t for 5 second that there are an large number of moos who neglect their men. I also don't doubt there are a large number of duhs who neglect their women.

Do you think you need to defend women by pointing out that men can be just as bad? Because otherwise, your defense of moos is a really strange thing to read on a childfree rant board.

I doubt anybody here thinks that breeder men are superior to breeder women. It's just that the women (a) produce more online content to make fun of, and (b) choose sexist child-rearing options which make them more frequently responsible for the child. If both breeders are there when a child misbehaves, I'll blame both.

We make fun of whatever content is available, so if you want to see more criticism of duhs, post content about them.

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yurble

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evilchildlessbitch
I don't doubt t for 5 second that there are an large number of moos who neglect their men. I also don't doubt there are a large number of duhs who neglect their women.

Do you think you need to defend women by pointing out that men can be just as bad? Because otherwise, your defense of moos is a really strange thing to read on a childfree rant board.

I doubt anybody here thinks that breeder men are superior to breeder women. It's just that the women (a) produce more online content to make fun of, and (b) choose sexist child-rearing options which make them more frequently responsible for the child. If both breeders are there when a child misbehaves, I'll blame both.

We make fun of whatever content is available, so if you want to see more criticism of duhs, post content about them.

You are right and not meaning to defend moos. I think it just bothers me that women always seem to be blamed for everything from lack of sex to badly behaved kids to accidental pregnancies when in fact it takes two. Women also get the lion's share of "keep your legs closed" but you have a valid point and I apologize.

In the moo's defense, though, if I had a bagged out vaj from sluicing, sex would probably squick me out too. Subjecting my husband to my post baby nastiness would be gross and denying him sex would be me acting with mercy for him. Of course most moos don't care who they make sick with visions of their ruined bodies, i.e., tit feeding in public without a cover. ::brbl

Its one thing to go into the marriage asexual, its another to start off having sex and then just stop completely, if thats the case something is amiss!

Actively patting herself on the back while being completely condescending to her husband in the letter. Typical. I smell another single moo in the making. eyes2

I think this is just another example that a marriage is not a guarantee or promise of anything. Whether someone wants love, companionship, sex, partnership or someone to breed with, all of that can be done without the need for marriage license.

There are some things that can only be accomplished with marriage license, but those don't even relate to anything that I have listed earlier.

If sex is what duh wanted, he needed to understand that marriage certificate does not promise any of that. People really need to understand that.

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ladybug2203
Its one thing to go into the marriage asexual, its another to start off having sex and then just stop completely, if thats the case something is amiss!

I think that escorts deserve way more pay than they get. Please take no offense to it, but escorts deliver what they promise and they cost way less than spouses do. If a person is looking for good time and occasional companionship, I think escorts are simply the way to go and cost WAY less than someone who demands breeding and an expensive contract with strings attached.

Marriage is not really a good deal for anyone. I have seen too many women and men get burned by it. Very useless and very outdated.

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evilchildlessbitch
You are right and not meaning to defend moos. I think it just bothers me that women always seem to be blamed for everything from lack of sex to badly behaved kids to accidental pregnancies when in fact it takes two. Women also get the lion's share of "keep your legs closed" but you have a valid point and I apologize.

I understand that view and hold it as well; I avoid gendered insults and generally speak up against the suggestion that women should be sexual gatekeepers.

Moos do get attacked more here than duhs, but I think that is due largely to their own choice not to demand equality in their personal lives and to instead take on the primary childcare role. If a child is being obnoxious in public and is with one parent, I'm going to blame the breeder it is with who is failing to deal with that situation. Most of the time, that's going to be the moo. Then, because they put themselves in this tedious role, they are more likely to insist on the worthiness of the work through articles and blogs than duhs are.

I know this whole thing can be slightly hostile territory because while I don't think it's unreasonable for married people to want sex/love/any form of physical contact from their spouses, they are certainly not entitled to sex. A man does not have a right to his wife's body, that's for sure, and this Moo who wrote this shit is making it sound like men only want sex.

Yes, there are guys who will start whimpering for sex before their wives even get out of the hospital after giving birth, but I think that, more often than not, the problem lies with the Moo-wives. It's a combination of ceasing any and all physical contact and shoving the men away when they try to reconnect. I think most of the time, it's not about sex. Husbands and boyfriends just want some kind of contact, and women will just assume that they only want sex if they do something like, say, hug their wives from behind. So there's probably a lack of communication going on as well.

If Moo is that sensitive that she is "touched out" from dealing with the brats, than she needs to just lay out on the table what she can and cannot deal with. If she doesn't want to fuck for a while, she has to say so (to her husband's face, not in an open letter) rather than treating the guy like an asshole for not being able to read her mind. And yeah, she talks down to her husband and all husbands in this bullshit letter. I imagine her patting her man on the hand and saying in a sing-songy voice, "Now honey-poo, I love you, but I don't want to have sex, okay? Mommy's tired." And then Moo will proceed to have a meltdown if she finds Duh watching porn and jacking off.

Not all guys are innocent victims, but a lot of them really get the shaft when they breed. I think they understand that their wives' attention will become divided (as will theirs), but I don't think a lot of them expect to be fully ignored in favor of the kids.