Or 6 Reasons I won't invite breeders to anything...

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Miss_Hannigan
In my family there's been six babies born in the past 3 years. That's six birthday parties a year for kids of people I don't usually talk to otherwise. Guys, at what level of family do you cut off? I could see attending parties for nieces or nephews because those are kids of immediate family, but the kids of my cousins feel too far removed for me to spend time and money.

I cut off at immediate family. I've attended birthday parties for nieces and nephews. And sadly, because some of them view adult relatives as ATMs, my spouse and I have stopped giving gifts/money. We show up, spend time with them, play their favorite games, listen to their jokes, teach them important skills like belching for volume and bass, and are generally the cool aunt and uncle. Just no gifts.

My more distant relatives are conveniently located hundreds to thousands of miles away, so birthday parties are a non-issue. In fact, I've only met a couple of my cousins' kids, so they don't expect me to send gifts or anything.

I have cut off all gifting and free labour to everyone, including family.

Each person /cause is evaluated based on my criteria ( deservedness, reciprocity, quality of relationship, etc) and the amount of resources (time, energy, etc) that I can spare.

Accidents of genetics (ie family ) do not get a special pass to my wallet, time and talents.

Quote
Miss_Hannigan
In my family there's been six babies born in the past 3 years. That's six birthday parties a year for kids of people I don't usually talk to otherwise. Guys, at what level of family do you cut off? I could see attending parties for nieces or nephews because those are kids of immediate family, but the kids of my cousins feel too far removed for me to spend time and money.

We do secret Santa so the nonmarrieds are not stuck buying shitloads of gifts. Nieces and nephews get gifts. BFF kids get gifts on big holidays (they were sick on all of their birthdays so no events--their mom sticks to a 25 dollar max which is nice though). Peripheral minor relatives? No. Then again most of my cousins are forever single, gay or have grown kids.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Quote
Miss_Hannigan
In my family there's been six babies born in the past 3 years. That's six birthday parties a year for kids of people I don't usually talk to otherwise. Guys, at what level of family do you cut off? I could see attending parties for nieces or nephews because those are kids of immediate family, but the kids of my cousins feel too far removed for me to spend time and money.

I cut off at the Asshole level. That is to say, any famblee member who is an asshole, however close or otherwise, does not get my time of day. That rules out pretty much the entirety of my mum's famblee, who are bar one cousin (who is CF and now lives abroad) breeder-brained pricks. In OH's family we get on best with a cousin of his who lives a bit nearer to us - she is ten years older than we are but we get on well, she has two teenagers who are actually decent, polite human beings and I helped her 16 year old daughter and a group of her friends start a blog about teenage mental health. Cousin has the same issues with OH's family that we do, she is the daughter of the aunt who objected to my tattoos.

Holidays have caused a lot of stress due to my SIL.
Last Thanksgiving, SIL decided at the last minute they would visit then instead of Christmas. After much hassle, my family rearranged their eating times. Fine. Then life happened. Weather cancelled my husband's flight until TG morning. I would have had to be on the road at 6 am to pick him up and drive 2 hours to my parents, spend a few there, drive another 90 miles to his other sisters house where all were gathering, drive back to my parents to pick up the pup and then drive 2 hours home.
I would have no problem sucking it up if I wasn't an insomniac with seizures triggered by lack of sleep. I do most of my work in the afternoon, evenings and late nights. I can adjust my sleep schedule but need a few days to do so, not 12 hours. On top of tbat, she decided that she wanted their dinner to start 3 hours earlier.
I told my husband there was no way that I already tired, stressed and seeing auras was going along with that. His sister's response "tell her to take an ambien and sleep in the car." I assume this meant after I sat through traffic to get husband from the airport so add an extra 90 minutes to the trip there. My husband actually passed this along and I said hell no was I risking my health for his stupid sister who has the following record of showing up for Christmas day, which is their normal day since our marriage.
Year 1 actually showed up
Year 2 had a sinus infection and expected everyone to stay around 3 days while she "recovered"
Year 3 had car problem that they had been aware of for weeks. Did not fix, didn't get a rental, car wouldn't start
Year 4 blizzard - not her fault
Year 5 daughter had a cough
Year 6 claimed money problems
Year 7 changed the day at last minute
Even at non holiday events she is constantly changing times, places, arrangements, food, etc.
It has got to the point where this year we told her that the original plans would be followed barring a severe emergency.