Dear Abby tells Aunt to suck it up in case her nephew needs caring for

While I don't paint adoptive parents with the same breederific brush as straight-up breeders, the thing this lady did really irks me. A woman in her late 50s adopted a baby boy and got pissed off when her sister told her that she was done raising kids and would not step in if something happened to raise the child. Abby, of course, cites the golden rule as a reason to do it anyway. Ugh. I just can't even. Nobody should have to be responsible for kids if they don't want to.

Here's the fail:
http://news.yahoo.com/aunt-weighs-responsibility-her-life-nephew-050904899.html

On the upside, Dear Abby is getting totally ripped in the comments. And the (very) few dopey commenters who agreed with are also getting ripped LOL!

That is seriously an OLD age for adopting a baby, SERIOUSLY

Nobody but the kid's parents (bio or otherwise) are under any obligation to care for their kids, and the writer is in no way wrong to refuse to want to raise her nephew in the event her sister shits the bed. It was her idiot sister's goddamn bright idea to adopt a brat when she was pushing 60 and that means it is her responsibility alone to figure out who will care for the kid if she dies. Blood relatives are not obligated to do this. Moo can find someone else to mind her spawn.

The kid is described as being high-maintenance. I wonder if that means he's an awtard.

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Abby
However, if she didn't, then in the event of her death or a serious illness that renders her unable to parent her son, you may have to decide what you are prepared to do.

Abby's attention span seems to have shortened. The aunt already said what she's prepared to do, which is NOT take over the care of her nephew if his mother becomes unable to raise him. It doesn't matter if he'll be 18 in a few years. Turning 18 is no guarantee that the fucker will move out - she could be stuck squandering her retirement on him well into his 30s. Like she said, she's already raised her kids, meaning she's done raising kids altogether. If the shoe was on the other foot, would the sister have taken in her nieces/nephews? Even if she wouldn't, agreeing to take care of someone's kid for them is a huge responsibility, and the odds of this kid falling into his aunt's care are quite high given his mother's age. Not to mention the writer hasn't met her nephew that many times, so she might not even actually like being around him.

Sounds to me like the Moo-sister is pissed that the letter author is able to enjoy a quiet retirement while she's raising a high-needs pre-teen. Boo-hoo, you should have thought about that shit before you bought a kid, Moo.

I'm not with Abby on this one. As others have said, it was 50 year old Moo-sis who decided to adopt at that age, so it's her responsibility to plan for who should take care of the kid if she kicks the bucket. The downside of being a geezer-breeder/adopter.

We have had the same shit with inlaws saying we should agree to be named in BIL and SIL's wills as carers for nephew if something happens to them. Neither we nor SIL's CF sister would agree - tough titties.

From the article:
"...high-maintenance 12-year-old son she has signed up for every extracurricular activity under the sun. I have seen him twice since the adoption."

Sounds legit. The elderly mother can't even stand to be around him, signs him up for shit to get away. Maybe she thinks he'll take care of her in her old age, and that's why she adopted him in the first place? I'd be pissed if I were kid that had the expectation of being a full-time nurse saddled on me. No way, I'd either run away, or become gradually more fucked up until the bitch finally died.
"Can't hit any milestones, my "mom" is sick all the time. Feeding time for "fake mom"... Maybe my real mom is out there somewhere, and she's young, and wants to play with me, and wants me back. I must find her."

If he doesn't have behavior issues, because there's no man around to straighten his ass out when he's being a little shit (as all kids are wont to do), he probably will soon.

How the hell was a 58 year old single woman approved for adoption in the first place? It sounds as if either the kid was an awtard they wanted to get rid of or she bought the kid on the black market.

Either way, the LW is right to stay out of it. It'll be at least 10 years (6+ 4 years of college) before the boy is self-supporting and the sister will be 80. Again, why was that allowed?

Adoption is a great thing but at age 50, absolutely NOT.

But it sounds like the sister adopted the kid for all of the wrong reasons, anyways.

This one made me want to hurl:

If the worst happens and you do need to let him in Abby was right but if he is a nightmare you need to decide what is best for you. You never know the child could fill a part of your life you did not know needed filing.

FUCK YOU. You know nothing about me.

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selidororous
Adoption is a great thing but at age 50, absolutely NOT.

But it sounds like the sister adopted the kid for all of the wrong reasons, anyways.

Meh if their adopting a teenager at 50 I think thats ok, but a baby or small child no way.


Even if they had a baby at a more appropriate age, I still will not agree to take on nieces or nephews. As ive told my family a million times, the whole point of being childfree is NOT so I can raise other ppls kids!

Thanks Abby for pushing a person to become a parent against her will. Every child dreams of having parents who begrudgingly accept responsibility for them because of being guilt-shamed into it by some obnoxious cunt.

Bullied a teenager, battered wife or single woman out of aborting a parasite today?

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JoJo
How the hell was a 58 year old single woman approved for adoption in the first place? It sounds as if either the kid was an awtard they wanted to get rid of or she bought the kid on the black market.

Either way, the LW is right to stay out of it. It'll be at least 10 years (6+ 4 years of college) before the boy is self-supporting and the sister will be 80. Again, why was that allowed?

My old neighbor was adopted by a geezer lady out of a Bombay orphanage when she was 8. And let me tell you, geezer-moo could not purge the trash out of this girl no matter how hard she tried. She was 20 and already incubating her second loaf with her second baby-daddy. And this guy was a real prize, let me tell you. Beat the shit out of her on the regular, drove around in a shitty gold El Camino, smoking cigarettes in his trucker hat and long, greasy curls. Oh but he was a chef at Chipotle, so he was going places. Answered to the name of Ricky, of course.

It just goes to show you that having kids is a young person's game, and frankly, a married person's game. They needed a fighting spirit to turn this girl around before she trashed her life.

Thank Godess I'm an only child.

But like Aunt Marge in "Harry Potter"--off the orphanage the brat(s) would go. I'm not ruining my life taking care of someone else's brats.

No. Fucking. Way.