"We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse"

A doctor has written a book about how shitty parents are letting their kids make too many choices, the extract is here: Your parenting is the problem: We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse.

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Here’s my diagnosis. Over the past three decades, there has been a massive transfer of authority from parents to kids. Along with that transfer of authority has come a change in the valuation of kids’ opinions and preferences. In many families, what kids think and what kids like and what kids want now matters as much, or more, than what their parents think and like and want. “Let kids decide” has become a mantra of good parenting. As I will show, these well-intentioned changes have been profoundly harmful to kids.

Of course we say pretty much the same thing at Bratfree, if anyone felt like listening.

Judging by my own observations, I can see what the author means. Houses littered with kindercrap with feral spawn running around demanding shit from their parents.

When I was being raised, all my toys were in my room, and that's where I was to play. I wasn't allowed to toss my shit all over the house. I was taught to respect authority, and when my moo told me to do something, I bloody well did it. Nowadays, when a parent so much as ASKS their kid to do something, the kid says "NO" or has a massive meltdown. That would NEVER have happened in my mother's house.

As an aside, when she took me shopping and there WAS a kid having a meltdown in the store, she would grab my hand and say, "Fucking kid!" loudly enough for both the parent and kid to hear. She would never have tolerated that BS from me, and she hated it in other kids. That was the seventies, when parents were starting to lose control of their crotchfruit.

Now, parents are completely miserable because they are at the mercy of their goddamned kids. If the kid says "Jump" the parent asks "How High?" and so on and so forth. I think it's because parents today are afraid of their spawn. They are afraid that the kid will hate them, call CPS on them, or will sneak into their bedroom at night and plunge a knife into their throat.

All I can say is, I'm glad it's them and not me. I would HATE to be hostage to some beast I birthed and feel it owns me. Then again, in some alternate universe where I may have had a kid, I would have NOT let it get away with half the shit parents let their kids get away with now.

Pretty interesting read, not that any parents would finish the book to find a solution. When I was a kid, our neighbour had just spawned a loaf, from day 1 that kid was in control. My family used to look on in disbelief as the mother would ask the later one year old to "please get out of the car and come inside". Four hours later the kid would still be straped in the car with the door open, playing with its toys. While the moo Gently begged for it to come inside, often coming over to lure it out with snacks and drinks, which didn't work so she's just leave them with the kid in case it was thirsty/hungry. When the duh finally came home, the kid was pulled from the car kicking and screaming, often put inside the house only to slam the door open and run back out to get in the car.

They clearly disagreed on parenting, so had a second kid. I've always wondered what kind of people those kids grew into. This was my first time witnessing reverse parenting, but even as a kid I still thought what those people were doing was stupid.

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Article
When I asked Tammy why she and her husband allowed their 8-year-old daughter to have the final say, Tammy answered, “I think good parenting means letting kids decide. That’s how kids learn, right? If I make all the decisions for her, how will she ever learn to decide on her own? And if I force her to go to a school that wasn’t her first choice, what can I say if she complains about the school later?”

Pa-yuke :::insert barf noise:::

You start your kids with small decisions, not major ones. And they need to learn that some decisions are strictly the province of parents until the child is old enough, has sufficient education, and is considered ready for responsibility.

I predict Tammy will become a teen mom, fer sure. She'll be watching the execrable reality show about the subject, decide that the boy she is currently seeing is The One, and have irresponsible sex. And she'd be quite right to have a fit if her parents object. After all, they've allowed her free reign in such decisions since she was a tyke, why stop her if she feels it's right.

Oy, what a future. These are the people raising the generation who they brag will be wiping our asses and running the world?

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Here’s what’s weird. We parents are spending more and more time and money on parenting, but when you look at the results, things are getting worse, not better. American kids are now much more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD or bipolar disorder or other psychiatric disorders than they were 25 years ago, and they are heavier and less fit than they were 25 years ago. Long-term outcome studies suggest that American kids are now less resilient and more fragile than they used to be.

Soft, sheep-like creatures. Easily lead by whatever strong arm or media creature appears most popular. In fact, I think it's already starting. Look at Donald Trump's poll numbers

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Dorisan


Soft, sheep-like creatures. Easily lead by whatever strong arm or media creature appears most popular. In fact, I think it's already starting. Look at Donald Trump's poll numbers

Trump is hardly my first choice, but look at what else is out there? This isn't like deciding between Kennedy and Nixon.

Trump's meteoric rise is simply a result of people being completely disgusted, in general, with what both parties have to offer. This board is probably a microcosm of that, in some ways. Moderate republicans don't want to hear about any anti-abortion/social conservative crap from Ted Cruz. And moderate democrats aren't interested in spending $trillions so Bernie Sanders can provide a sociology or gender studies "education" for every C-student who doesn't belong in college, anyway.

I wonder if some of the "soft sheep" are existing because more people with medical and psychiatric problems are breeding than ever before. That is, more young people are prone to depression because their parents who may have suffered, and were once placed forever in mental hospitals, are out there and dating and marrying and having kids. I go to a group where many are on the autism spectrum. One thing that the leaders keep on wanting to talk about and pushing is dating. Not all of them want to actually do so, but it seems to be encouraged for some reason.

I think a lot goes into a breeder's decision to allow kids to rule the roost. It could be a simple lack of a spine, but it could also be people who were raised by very authoritarian parents that continue to harbor resentment over being forced to eat vegetables or getting grounded. It could also be straight-up laziness, or a major fear of not being their kids' best friends.

It can be okay to give a child choices sometimes (often when they're older), but a vast majority of the time, parents need to be the ones making choices for the kids... and telling them how shit's gonna be, not asking them to do things. Kids are morons and they can't be expected to make rational decisions about anything, which is why adults need to be the ones in charge. If the kids don't like what their parents choose, then too fuckin' bad. Mom and Dad pay the bills and pay for everything the brat has, and the brat is basically their property, so therefore, Mom and Dad need to be the ones who make choices.

In addition, parents will allow their kids to make major decisions that will impact the entire family, which is a horrible idea. Kids do have far too much control anymore, and when you combine that with the fact that today's kids are never ever told NO, they don't know how to handle it when they don't get their own way. The only time I think a kid should be given choices is when they're in the form of an ultimatum. "Either you can clean up the mess you just made, or I'll clean it up and you can't use your phone, computer or TV for a week."

The opinions of kids should not be valued very highly, if at all, because kids are not rational, mature human beings capable of thinking about things like consequences, long-term anything, costs and so forth. You don't have to raise your kids like a drill sergeant, but have actual expectations of your children. Hold them to standards. Parents now don't do that at all because they worship their brats just for existing, and when you grow up with that kind of treatment, you expect everybody else to lick your asshole like Mommy did. Kids don't tell parents what to do - parents tell their kids what to do because the parent is the adult and the kid is the child. Mommy doesn't need to be Sneauxphlake's BFF because the kid will make friends in school. At home, the kid needs someone to show them how shit works and to mold them into what will hopefully become a bearable human being... and yes, this will require real discipline, not discussions of feelings and hugs every time the kid acts like a monster. Expectations, discipline, firmness and structure - these are all things that a parent needs to exercise when it comes to raising kids. Don't give kids choices (until they reach an age when they can be semi-rational), don't give them room to argue because your decisions are not up for debate, and tell them what you expect of them. On the other hand, don't be cruel or abusive, don't force kids to do things that aren't completely necessary (like cleaning their plate when they're clearly full) and have some degree of patience because kids will often not learn how to do things the first time.

I do think it's good for kids to question things, but they must understand that their parents are in charge and make the rules. Parents now are so fucking scared of their kids hating them that they'll throw actual parenting to the wind all so their widdle dumplings won't ever have to have a sad. Then those same kids usually grow up to be out of control, narcissistic, violent or just overall fucked up because they had no structure and were not held to any standards. They don't know how to act, and once they hit a certain age, the damage becomes irreversible and that child will become a fully-grown blight on society.

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Cambion
I do think it's good for kids to question things, but they must understand that their parents are in charge and make the rules. Parents now are so fucking scared of their kids hating them that they'll throw actual parenting to the wind all so their widdle dumplings won't ever have to have a sad. Then those same kids usually grow up to be out of control, narcissistic, violent or just overall fucked up because they had no structure and were not held to any standards. They don't know how to act, and once they hit a certain age, the damage becomes irreversible and that child will become a fully-grown blight on society.

What I find really peculiar is how some kids seem naturally well behaved, and others, not so much. I'm pretty sure every parent expects their kid to just magically know better, and raise itself, because, duh, don't put your hand in the toaster, and duh, "behave." They're finding out it doesn't work like that, and have absolutely no back-up plan.

What I frequently see is people thinking they're a good parent just by having any amount of affection towards a child. "I'm a good mom, I love my kids. I just don't want to take care of them." Well, you're a bad mom, then.

I resent a lot of what my parents did, and after a lot of therapy and books about dysfunctional families I finally figured out why. It is because my parents were trying to mold me into the person they wanted me to be. Mom in particular wanted me to have all the same tastes, preferences and opinions as her.

I agree many parents today are way too permissive. It pisses me off to see a parent pleading with their nasty brat to behave instead of telling it. But teaching proper behavior is a different thing than not allowing your kid to be the person they are. It seems most parents can't find the middle ground.

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Cambion
It can be okay to give a child choices sometimes (often when they're older), but a vast majority of the time, parents need to be the ones making choices for the kids... and telling them how shit's gonna be, not asking them to do things.

I'm okay with giving kids choices before they have become fully rational, provided those choices will teach them about consequences and the consequences in question will affect the child and not others, and only in the short-term.

For example, when a kid wants a toy, you could tell them they either get that toy or a new pair of pants. Then when the kid chooses the toy, let it be embarassed by having to wear ragged, outgrown clothes or (if the pants are really ripped) something cheap and ugly from the second-hand shop. The result is the kid learns about delayed gratification and putting needs ahead of wants, but it's not as if the lesson causes any permanent damage, unlike for instance giving the kid the choice of not brushing its teeth and dealing with cavities.

Breeders don't appear to be thinking about the long-term at all, probably because they don't actually have an interest in raising functioning adults.

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ondinette
It pisses me off to see a parent pleading with their nasty brat to behave instead of telling it. But teaching proper behavior is a different thing than not allowing your kid to be the person they are. It seems most parents can't find the middle ground.

Same here. It is very possible to keep a kid in line without completely destroying their individuality, but it seems that almost all parents are either very lazy and don't parent whatsoever or they're soul-killing authoritarian types (who can also easily be abusive)... in other words, it's always either no expectations at all or impossibly high ones. No wonder so many kids are so fucked up. Nobody has normal goddamn parents!

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yurble
I'm okay with giving kids choices before they have become fully rational, provided those choices will teach them about consequences and the consequences in question will affect the child and not others, and only in the short-term.

I agree, though I think it's important to make sure the kid is old enough to understand the connection between consequences and why what they chose turned out the way it did. I think if a kid is too young, they may not understand how their choices are affecting them and will start to act like victims, and I'd say that any kids who are not yet school-aged need choices made for them. Once they hit the 7-8 year age range, they can start learning how to make choices and learn the natural consequences of both good and bad decisions.

Perhaps this method isn't used much now because the idiot parents of these kids usually can't think in a long-term sense themselves. Most of them probably conceived their kids by accident to begin with because they didn't have the foresight to use a fucking condom, and they can only think about 12 hours into the future, at best. Someone who doesn't comprehend the whole concept of consequences in both short-term and long-term ways is someone who will just live their life believing that they are a perpetual victim whom the world shits on constantly rather than figuring out that their shitty choices are what's causing all their damn problems. They will, in turn, impart these habits onto their kids. This is how the average breeder acts: nothing is ever their own fault. It's always someone or something else that's to blame.

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Dorisan

Oy, what a future. These are the people raising the generation who they brag will be wiping our asses and running the world?

Don't think so. I have been hearing some ideas from some teens and young adults about what to do with the elder population. One is to make assisted suicide available to anyone seventy five and older, and encourage it. Then there was the young man who said he did not want to live past fifty five, and the young woman who saw fifty five as an appropriate end of life as well. I do wonder what she thinks about the presidential candidates being so far beyond the end years. The young people certainly seem to like Sanders, the old codger of the race.

I was young once too but I never saw older people as less than, or wanting them to die. I can't help but think of the above people as sociopaths regardless of their age and immaturity. They present themselves as informed and educated otherwise, they just think older people are expendable and a waste.

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blondie

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Dorisan

Oy, what a future. These are the people raising the generation who they brag will be wiping our asses and running the world?

Don't think so. I have been hearing some ideas from some teens and young adults about what to do with the elder population. One is to make assisted suicide available to anyone seventy five and older, and encourage it. Then there was the young man who said he did not want to live past fifty five, and the young woman who saw fifty five as an appropriate end of life as well. I do wonder what she thinks about the presidential candidates being so far beyond the end years. The young people certainly seem to like Sanders, the old codger of the race.

I was young once too but I never saw older people as less than, or wanting them to die. I can't help but think of the above people as sociopaths regardless of their age and immaturity. They present themselves as informed and educated otherwise, they just think older people are expendable and a waste.

That reminds me of my incredibly creepy, narcissistic, eldest nephew. I have three of them, and he, by far, is the worst. He told my mother, his grandmother, that they will start to euthanize old people very soon...and that she would be one of them. She got very angry at him and told him off. He is a raging ageist, thinks that older people have no place in society. He's now in his forties. I wonder what he's thinking will happen when HE reaches his golden years? I told my mother not in her lifetime, but maybe in his...

It doesn't help that media nowadays keeps selling the idea of being your child's BFF and letting them rule the roost. Gilmore Girls was a big contributor to this with the grown-ass teen moo trying to act like a fellow kid to her teenage daughter. Or those Kraft Macaroni & Cheese commercials where the kids get all pissed off and vengeful when their parents eat the dish that the kid believes belongs to them and them alone (never mind who was the one who bought and cooked the shit).

It's also the fact that breeders procreated without a thought of what happens when the baby stage ends. They only thing the attention-whoring they can pull off while pregnant and the resulting infant to babystalk the world. They don't realize that the job of parenting actually starts to come into play when the kid reaches its first birthday. It's why breeders want to normalize public tantrums without being forced to give up their dinner out or shopping to tend to the screaming child, potty-training later and later to the point of the kid being school-age and still needing diapers, "gentle discipline," and generally being as passive as possible. Suddenly, parenting has become much more than cute baby clothes and demanding to beef anywhere they please.

So yes, more time and money is being spent on parenting because breeders are trying to weasel their way out of parenting.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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mumofsixbirds

That reminds me of my incredibly creepy, narcissistic, eldest nephew. I have three of them, and he, by far, is the worst. He told my mother, his grandmother, that they will start to euthanize old people very soon...and that she would be one of them. She got very angry at him and told him off. He is a raging ageist, thinks that older people have no place in society. He's now in his forties. I wonder what he's thinking will happen when HE reaches his golden years? I told my mother not in her lifetime, but maybe in his...

The government will take a bit of advice from the sixties and
Send them off to camps and psych 'em out on LSD.

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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blondie

Don't think so. I have been hearing some ideas from some teens and young adults about what to do with the elder population. One is to make assisted suicide available to anyone seventy five and older, and encourage it. Then there was the young man who said he did not want to live past fifty five, and the young woman who saw fifty five as an appropriate end of life as well. I do wonder what she thinks about the presidential candidates being so far beyond the end years. The young people certainly seem to like Sanders, the old codger of the race.

I was young once too but I never saw older people as less than, or wanting them to die. I can't help but think of the above people as sociopaths regardless of their age and immaturity. They present themselves as informed and educated otherwise, they just think older people are expendable and a waste.

FWIW...

Keep in mind you've got a fairly large percentage of people between 20-35 who are unemployed, underemployed, and in massive college debt. They feel like they've been sold a lie, the "American Dream" has not been fulfilled for them, and they see their aging Baby Boomer parents living a lifestyle that is far beyond what they will ever live.

They may or may not have positive feelings for their Baby Boomer parents. Maybe they never liked their helicopter parents, and feel trapped under their current burdensome financial circumstances. Sociopathic or not, they might view their parents kicking the bucket--and leaving them with a house and a small lump of cash--as a positive development.

I'm not saying it's right, I'm just sayin'...

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StudioFiftyFour
Keep in mind you've got a fairly large percentage of people between 20-35 who are unemployed, underemployed, and in massive college debt. They feel like they've been sold a lie, the "American Dream" has not been fulfilled for them, and they see their aging Baby Boomer parents living a lifestyle that is far beyond what they will ever live.

Plus the media is really pushing intergenerational conflict. There are an enormous number of articles about how lazy and entitled Gen Y is. It's all good for selling papers to their target demographic (older people with money to buy what their advertisers sell). All is well and good until the next Hitler is elected and starts implementing policies based on some of the us versus them narratives they've been peddling.

I'm Gen X. I see a lot of people in their early 20s at work. Some are spoiled brats, some are serious about their studies. Not so different from what I remember. A lot of them get on my nerves but the same could be said for most people over 30. If there's more learned helplessness I'd place that fault on their breeders, at least while they're still under 25 (after a certain point it's up to individuals to address the shortcomings of their upbringing).

I do think there's some justifiable frustration about the world that they're getting stuck with, the world that they didn't create. But I also think only those who are intellectually lazy or stupid will jump to the idea of killing off their parents in revenge. If they feel helpless and unable to control events can they really imagine the average older person actively chose the policies that brought us where we are today? The people who brought us here will never be the ones to suffer.

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yurble

I do think there's some justifiable frustration about the world that they're getting stuck with, the world that they didn't create. But I also think only those who are intellectually lazy or stupid will jump to the idea of killing off their parents in revenge. If they feel helpless and unable to control events can they really imagine the average older person actively chose the policies that brought us where we are today? The people who brought us here will never be the ones to suffer.

Only in extreme cases do I see a young person killing his/her parents. What I do envision is a dystopian future for western society at large. As automation takes over jobs, the college debt bubble inflates even more, and wealth disparity becomes more pronounced, there is going to be a lot of grievance among younger people toward the generation that raised them.

The prospect of parents dying, perhaps of natural causes, and leaving them with a home and small lump sum of cash, may be welcomed among some younger people.

@ yurble "Plus the media is really pushing intergenerational conflict."

-> That's true. Here in GER, there are articles in magazines how rich the pensioners are,
how they could retire "early" and this generation can't, how the health care for them is oh so expensive...etc.
Nasty.

"I do think there's some justifiable frustration about the world that they're getting stuck with, the world that they didn't create."
-> One doesn't need to be young to be frustrated :-(. When I see how the do-gooders opened the gates...

Where's all this money that is falling from the sky for older generations? I'd love some. Lol. There are *some* well off boomers, many are not able to retire and don't have much in savings, have to downsize, etc. Then their kids are breeding and they end up raising grandbrats while dealing with their own health problems.

To those just waiting for their parents to die so they can get stuff, one can only hope the parents are aware and either spend it all before they go, or leave everything to a nice charity.

The observations of the book do seem to match with what I've observed, both at work and with friends: the PNBs that are actually fucking parenting their kids are not spending $$$ on every doodad their kid wants, or spending $$$ on eleventy billion after school sports programs, birthday parties, clubs, etc. They focus on relationships and habits within the family, but their kids are just part of the family and not its centerpiece.

$$$ can't buy you discipline, respect, and critical thought. Those have to be taught.

I think parents are just lazy.
I will try and avoid lines in stores that contain a sow and crotchturd.
I was in my local Petsmart on line, I was leaning on the belt on the edge because I am overweight and it helps take my weight off my feet. I don't stand well. Some sow in front of me was almost done, had some small male bugger.
At one point something really started shoving on my legs; I look down and the crotch turd is trying to shove past me and the goods belt. I just wouldn't move but the fucker wouldn't quit shoving so I started saying 'no'. Said it several times. Sow starts mooing 'some people are just rude', fucker looks up and says 'why?'. I said 'I don't owe you an explanation'. I am actually in a rather amused frame of mind. Moo continues on in veain and says 'he's only 2 1/2', whereupon the bugger actually said something I thought was funny..."No, I'm three". I simply stated the prisons are full of people who did not understand the meaning of the word 'no'. I think this really pissed her off because I was grinning by this time. Finally exits, no one else says a word. She drove past in a brand new volkswagon beetle convertible and blows horn, so I just flipped her off.
I just hope I don't have to look over my shoulder.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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twocents
I think parents are just lazy.
I will try and avoid lines in stores that contain a sow and crotchturd.
I was in my local Petsmart on line, I was leaning on the belt on the edge because I am overweight and it helps take my weight off my feet. I don't stand well. Some sow in front of me was almost done, had some small male bugger.
At one point something really started shoving on my legs; I look down and the crotch turd is trying to shove past me and the goods belt. I just wouldn't move but the fucker wouldn't quit shoving so I started saying 'no'. Said it several times. Sow starts mooing 'some people are just rude', fucker looks up and says 'why?'. I said 'I don't owe you an explanation'. I am actually in a rather amused frame of mind. Moo continues on in veain and says 'he's only 2 1/2', whereupon the bugger actually said something I thought was funny..."No, I'm three". I simply stated the prisons are full of people who did not understand the meaning of the word 'no'. I think this really pissed her off because I was grinning by this time. Finally exits, no one else says a word. She drove past in a brand new volkswagon beetle convertible and blows horn, so I just flipped her off.
I just hope I don't have to look over my shoulder.

Why was the small male bugger trying to move backwards in a line? I see this happen all too often and the DNA donators never correct it.
Sow should've corrected the bugger and told him the line moves one way only. Since he is old enough to walk and ask why he is old enough to grasp the fact that lines move one way only. I don't ever move for the shits who try to move backwards in a store line, I avert my eyes and refuse to acknowledge them and their stupid behavior. There is no excuse for physically shoving your legs and still sow ignores this. I doubt she has ever told the bugger to not touch others. Sow is acting like a teenage sister who doesn't give a shit, not a mom.

Cambion,
I have noticed the same thing. Parents have either impossibly high expectations or no expectations whatsoever. The latter is much more popular now, but both produce messed up adults.

I am from generation X , and I feel royally screwed by the system, so it's not just young people. Growing up I was told the American dream would be mine if I got good grades, stayed out of trouble, and went to college. I did all that, but when it was time for the rest of the world to deliver suddenly the rules were different and nothing I had done was good enough. I picked a "sensible" major and have never been the partying type,but it didn't matter. I still had tons of trouble getting and staying employed. I don't think intergenerational warfare will solve anything, but more than one generation has been lied to about the future. Or am I unusual? Have other gen-xers had the same problem?

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ondinette
Cambion,
I have noticed the same thing. Parents have either impossibly high expectations or no expectations whatsoever. The latter is much more popular now, but both produce messed up adults.

I am from generation X , and I feel royally screwed by the system, so it's not just young people. Growing up I was told the American dream would be mine if I got good grades, stayed out of trouble, and went to college. I did all that, but when it was time for the rest of the world to deliver suddenly the rules were different and nothing I had done was good enough. I picked a "sensible" major and have never been the partying type,but it didn't matter. I still had tons of trouble getting and staying employed. I don't think intergenerational warfare will solve anything, but more than one generation has been lied to about the future. Or am I unusual? Have other gen-xers had the same problem?

Realistically, most of the people I know in Generation X struggled with the exception of a small group of people with a specific focus-IT, medical, finance.

I had to be in the workforce for years before I was able to stop working two jobs just to pay basic bills. Think this is fairly common for most of us. Really happy I never wanted kids because there was no way it could have happened for me financially during the prime years (before 27 years of age).

If I had it to do over again, I would have learned a practical occupation in high school vocational training to support myself with while attending college. Probably as a hair stylist or similar---while it doesn't really pique my interest it would have been a more firm foundation---paid the bills while earning more than minimum wage. Great to have to supplement the unpaid internship plus it could be a part-time income while still entry level in the early career stages.

My first job out of college was for minimum wage so when I hear twenty somethings whining about their salaries I feel no pity, most of us have been there. Graduated during a recession. You're young, work two or three jobs.

At least Generation Y has the opportunity to research online for their careers and make informed choices. And there are tons of free online schools now, including open courseware from MIT and Stanford. There is a website that offers numerous software development courses in various topics for a lifetime fee of $200. If a high schooler was interested he/she could take this route, and start gaining practical experience at the same age that others are attending college. A beginning software developer might not always earn a six figure income but the dev will make more than minimum wage and some would prefer it to working retail or spending $60,000 or more for a degree in social work!