Revenge of the Petunias

I currently live in breeder hell, which has only gotten worse since the weather turned nice. I rent a townhouse and the owners are nice enough to let us be a bit liberal with planting flowers and stuff. I love gardening and this was a big plus for me. I have a small flower bed out front and container garden out back with a small bed.

Last year I planted white petunias out front. Someone came and helped themselves to several of my plants. I'm guessing it was one of the area brats who's never been taught any boundaries or manners. I complained to management about my missing flowers, but they couldn't do anything about it because I didn't know who did it.

This year I was thinking of including some cacti in the middle of my blooms to deter a repeat, though I'm sure the cacti and flowers wouldn't get along well together. I can't think of any other way to "strike back" or ensure my stuff won't be messed with. Management won't do anything and I can't monitor my flower bed 24/7.

Something like nettles would be unpleasant to touch without gloves (but they make a healthy salad or tea, properly treated) but won't significantly harm the person touching them. Honestly I would just stick with the plants you can keep privately and let the company spend the time and money making the public areas look good.

I agree with Yurble about the nettles. That will deter the little bastards from raiding your garden. Either that, or poison ivy. But at least with nettles, you can make things out of it.

I don't think cacti would work well with petunias, because of the amount of water petunias require. It would kill off the cacti in no time.

If you hear the little fuckers scream from the nettles, you will know EXACTLY who is going after your plants, too! It's a great idea.

For about twenty years, I have had various flower and vegetable beds at my home.
I learned to never put flowers that I really treasured anywhere near the public sidewalk.
All precious flowers are at least 20-30 feet from the public street.
(Even then someone crept in 45 feet to steal seedling plants on a planting stand)
On average, I still had about 40-50 individual flowers stolen every year.
Twice, someone took every spring flower (tulip daffodil, etc) that I had bloomed (ie about 20).
I caught kids in the act of stealing flowers/plants about three times.
Once, I caught a parent teaching their kid how to steal my flowers.
Another time, I caught a neighbour stealing every single ripe tomato over several weeks.

How much are one of those deer cameras? May be worth installing it nearby.

For both flower theft and security. I'd like to get one to see what the little creatures are doing in my yard. Any time I peak out the window, they're out there being so cute! Today while watering one of the big trees two little birds were dipping their wings and heads in the streaming puddle held in a visible root. I think they would have done that all day. The squirrels and bunnies are also always doing cute things. Most fun is to peak through a curtain an hour after watering all the flora and fauna and watch all the creatures scurrying around and playing in the yard.

I can recommend Euonymus
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euonymus_fortunei

"Euonymus fortunei radicans" is poisonous, invasive
(basically, it has the same properties as poison ivy)
and it's only a plant with green leaves.
It's not as decorative as petunias so no one should steal it.

There are more decorative variaties of this plant:
f.e. "Emerald n Gold" and "Blondy" (both poisonous but non-invasive)
but thieves probably won't leave them alone.

Depending on the location (requirement: 3-4 hours of sun a day), you can also
plant creeping juniperus.
http://floridata.com/Plants/Cupressaceae/Juniperus%20horizontalis/624
f.e. Juniperus Green Carpet, Wiltonii, Greenmantle, Blue Star...
"Juniper foliage is often prickly and sometimes sticky to the touch."

You can also plant Sedum acre or Sedum album
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sedum_acre
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sedum_album

The problem with only gardening in the back is that the back is all shade. If I want to have sun-loving flowers, it has to be in front.

I might look into a small camera to catch the little beasts in the act. We used to have one at our old place when we suspected a bear was getting into the bird feeder (we just really wanted to see the bear ). Maybe just having a camera in an obvious position will deter the shitheads (and their children).

Ooh, I might go with the nettles, too. They have lots of good uses:
http://www.herbwisdom.com/herb-nettle.html

Plant some ghost peppers. It'll be the last time one of those bastards touches your garden. I do like the stinging nettle idea though.

Here are some plants that cause skin irritation: http://davesgarden.com/guides/articles/view/2414#b

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

Mousetraps? Land mines?

Too bad they don't have Venus Kid Traps. That would be something to have in your garden!

Quote
mumofsixbirds
Too bad they don't have Venus Kid Traps. That would be something to have in your garden!

Feed me Seymour, feed me more...

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

My personal favourite is the Gympie plant. death by stinging plant


It look so innocuous and pleasant, with a cluster of pretty violet flowers - which contain silica hypodermic hairs that inject poison, causing welts and intense pain for up to 2 years! The hairs can only be removed by hydrochloric acid or waxing strips. That'll teach the bastards if they decide to pick their flowers.

Is there anything in Australia that is not poisonous or wanting to hurt you?! This sounds like quite the garden protector!

ouch. remind me never to go there.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I'd love to try some of these ideas to keep the local feral brats out of our yard and flowers, but I don't want to hurt the local cat colony. The poor kitties have enough problems without me adding to them.

Our dog goes nose first through nettles taller than she is and doesn't appear to notice a thing, and neither do my two cats. I'd recommend the nettles, you can even use them for eating when they are young, but even very fresh sprouted nettles will sting you, so use gloves. If you find some along a road and want to transplant them into your garden, you have to pull them up and get some of the underground runners. Strip off the above ground parts and bury the root parts. You will never get rid of them unless you can pull up ALL of the roots, so this is a fairly permanent change to your garden. Permanent entertainment at wailing brats' expense!

My sister had a cactus that LOOKED fluffy/fuzzy, but each little hair of it was a razor sharp barb that imbedded in the skin and is difficult and very painful to remove...
I don't know what it is called, but if you put a few of those in there, not only would the theft not be repeated, but you'd be able to find out who stole the flowers by the screams of pain and horror (and possibly by the enraged moo complaining that your "garden" isn't safe for her brat to play in/steal from.

I say go for it.

Edit: Glochids! You want a Cactus with Glochids!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glochid

Edit Edit: Found the 2 I've been gotten by - I think they'll do the trick:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cumulopuntia - very temptingly fuzzy-looking
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maihueniopsis - fuzzy - with pretty flowers... you know, for flower thieves.