Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! April 30, 2016 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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Two months ago, my husband and I had our first baby. It’s exhausting and wonderful, but here’s the problem. I notice that sex doesn’t feel the same. I’ve gotten “looser,” and I practically had to force my husband to admit that he notices a difference, too. This is devastating. My entire life I never enjoyed sex, until I met my husband. Our sex life was amazing, and I finally felt what everyone was talking about. Now, it just feels like nothing. When I talk to my friends, they call him a jerk and say that he should “appreciate” that I made him a daughter. My doctors, too, seem to blame my husband for saying something so awful, but no one actually admits that childbirth does stretch you out. It’s not a matter of emotions or “understanding.” Friction is friction. 1) What do we do? I want our sex life back. 2) Why do no mothers/doctors talk about the effects of birth on the vagina? 3) Why does everyone blame the husband? Please help.
—Childbirth Ruined Sex
If you tell your doctor you have concerns about your sex life after childbirth and their response is to say your husband is a jerk, you should find a different doctor. I am not qualified to tell you the long- and short-term effects of childbirth on your body, or whether Kegels or various medical treatments would be more helpful. But your doctor(s) are. As long as you are making clear that this issue is important to you, not just him (you are, aren’t you?). Two months is not that long for your body to have recovered from something as physically traumatic as childbirth. What I am qualified to do is advise you to find a better gynecologist, one who listens to you and takes your concerns seriously.
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! April 30, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 556 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! April 30, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,039 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! April 30, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,003 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! April 30, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! April 30, 2016 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,364 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 01, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 01, 2016 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 01, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 221 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 01, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,629 |
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stretched-out moo
I notice that sex doesn’t feel the same. I’ve gotten “looser,” and I practically had to force my husband to admit that he notices a difference, too. This is devastating. My entire life I never enjoyed sex, until I met my husband. Our sex life was amazing, and I finally felt what everyone was talking about. Now, it just feels like nothing. When I talk to my friends, they call him a jerk and say that he should “appreciate” that I made him a daughter.
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 02, 2016 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,972 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 02, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
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Cambion
The idiot admits she forced her husband to say sex felt different and then she gets butthurt when he tells her what she wants to hear. It's like the women who badger their men with the question, "Do I look fat in this?" and any answer the guy gives them is the wrong one. Don't ask if you aren't prepared to hear the truth!
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 02, 2016 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 02, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 172 |
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Cambion
It's absolutely no fucking secret that sex feels different when a woman gives birth vaginally, and by "different," I mean neither party feels anything. If they wanted to maintain their sex life, they should have either not bred (because nobody's gonna be in the mood to fuck when the loaf is screaming and puking every 15 seconds) or Moo should have had a C-section so her vag would remain intact.
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 02, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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beezle
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Cambion
It's absolutely no fucking secret that sex feels different when a woman gives birth vaginally, and by "different," I mean neither party feels anything. If they wanted to maintain their sex life, they should have either not bred (because nobody's gonna be in the mood to fuck when the loaf is screaming and puking every 15 seconds) or Moo should have had a C-section so her vag would remain intact.
About the C-section part. I read a blog recently about a mother having a C-section so her vag would stay tight and intact for sex. After her stomach region was all healed, her and her hubby tried to have sex but it was very painful because he couldn't fit into her and she's all "WTF It feels like my vaginal canal shrank!" She cried a lot because she expected sex after healing from a C-section to be way more comfortable than what she imagined sex after healing from giving birth vaginally would be like.
Here's the blog: http://www.scarymommy.com/painful-sex-after-pregnancy/
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 03, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,231 |
Re: Dear Prudence:childbirth turned me into a saggy grocery bag. Why didn't someone tell me! May 03, 2016 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 380 |