My husband isnt %100 CF

I wondered if anyone here has a partner not totally on board with your cf lifestyle. Fortunately, though my husband still talks about having kids he agrees with me that we shouldn't. I counter him for only suggesting parenthood for the sake of blood and family name and not genuine interest in actual children. Besides that, I've watched him when we visit his sister. She had a 3rd baby not long before and the whole time we were there all his attention went to their Dogo Argentino while everyone else gushed over the mini human. It's obvious he's dogs > kids. Anyone else get bingoed by their own spouse?

Nope. My husband loves me too much to bingo me. He knew I was a hundred percent CF when he married me, and he doesn't want any, either. It was a conversation we had before we got married. I would be verrryy careful with him, make sure he doesn't tamper with BC or anything else. Baby rabid wannabees are the absolute worst.

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mumofsixbirds
Nope. My husband loves me too much to bingo me. He knew I was a hundred percent CF when he married me, and he doesn't want any, either. It was a conversation we had before we got married. I would be verrryy careful with him, make sure he doesn't tamper with BC or anything else. Baby rabid wannabees are the absolute worst.

Oh don't worry. He knows we're not in a situation to be raising kids and he's not the clever or deceptive type. I'd know right away if something happened to my pills and he's so clumsy it would be impossible for him to sabotage the condoms.

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ihave3cats
I counter him for only suggesting parenthood for the sake of blood and family name and not genuine interest in actual children

If he wants kids for the name to go on or to pass on his genes, tell him that having kids does not guarantee either of those things will happen. If he had kids, there is no guarantee they would have kids. They could very well be CF. Then the line stops with one more generation, and the DNA and family name runs out. All the effort of kids without the payout of carrying on anything.

Of course, this is not the only reason I am personally against having kids. But if his desire is to carry on a family name or DNA, you could remind him that having kids doesn't guarantee either of those things.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

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contemplativeintrovert

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ihave3cats
I counter him for only suggesting parenthood for the sake of blood and family name and not genuine interest in actual children

If he wants kids for the name to go on or to pass on his genes, tell him that having kids does not guarantee either of those things will happen. If he had kids, there is no guarantee they would have kids. They could very well be CF. Then the line stops with one more generation, and the DNA and family name runs out. All the effort of kids without the payout of carrying on anything.

Of course, this is not the only reason I am personally against having kids. But if his desire is to carry on a family name or DNA, you could remind him that having kids doesn't guarantee either of those things.

He has 4 sisters. I think his family bloodline will be fine without his contribution. His father is a tad on the sexist side so it doesn't surprise me his comments are sometimes a little... dated. But he doesn't want to mimic his dad's actions. He just likes to tease me when he talks about it.

"All his attention went to their dogo argentino." This gives me hope. Hubby and I are CF and would have behaved the same way. I certainly wish this dogo keeps your sweetheart's attention for the longest time possible.

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barren4ever
"All his attention went to their dogo argentino." This gives me hope. Hubby and I are CF and would have behaved the same way. I certainly wish this dogo keeps your sweetheart's attention for the longest time possible.

We're going to visit again this month and no doubt she'll be sitting her big butt on him the whole time. I feel bad for her because it seems like she's underappreciated. There were no bones or dog toys on the floor and most on the interaction between her and her owners was "Nala! Get out of the way!" They plan to make some big bucks breeding her and selling her rare puppies.

I hate backyard breeders. They will never invest the money....just let two dogs fuck, hope the pups survive and try to attract suckers to buy them at high prices.

Unless they are dedicated to investing in perfect bloodlines like this (which cost a ton of money) breeding should never be done. Dogos are prone to deafness...are they willing to pay for the test? Are they artificially inseminating with the best breed stock available...and is Nala close to breed standard?

http://www.dreamdogos.com/our-breeding-program.html

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Any bingo or implication that my worth as a human is tied to my genitals would end a budding relationship. I don't even have time for friends with those attitudes, so I sure as hell wouldn't accept it from family.

I will get involved with guys who don't know if they want kids because they were never forced to think about it, provided they start thinking about it pretty damn hard after meeting me, and provided they don't make any apologies for breeders/brats we may observe.

I have no idea how far they'll go to insure the puppies will be of good health. I don't mind professional breeders preserving a good breed with health coming first but that's lost on many no matter how "pure" the bloodline or breed standards. We breed too many deformed dogs that suffer so we can gawk at them. Bulldogs are the best example. I think the only thing right they're doing is neglecting to crop their ears.

My paternal grandfather was very into the "carry on the family name" thing. He'd openly talk about how my brother was the "last of the line" (which made my sister and me feel shitty, and I'm sure my three female cousins were annoyed, too) to carry on the name. Funny part: my sister and I both wound up keeping our names after marriage, and my brother is still not a parent at 45...from what I see, he's not interested in that lifestyle, either. But the dutiful cousins have dropped at least one kid each. I'm sure Granddad is spinning in his grave.

So yeah...the "carry on the family name" bullshit annoys me, too. I told my mom as much when I was younger, and she totally agreed with me. She also pointed out it wasn't worth debating the matter with Granddad, as he was a product of his generation and more than a little set in his ways. He tended to fixate on certain issues, and there was no shifting him. Mom and Dad, fortunately, have been pretty damn sane when it comes to the whole grandkids/family name issue. They just want their kids to be happy, healthy, and productive wherever they might end up.

I hope your husband is smart enough to realize that a life with a sure-deal good thing (you) is better than lighting off in search of another person (whom he may not find) to produce a child/lifestyle that he may or may not like.

I don't want to insult my own husband but he's not exactly a catch. Let's just say where most people are college smart, he's high school smart. Something to do with how he was born different. So the only woman he could run off with is his mother.

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ihave3cats
I don't want to insult my own husband but he's not exactly a catch. Let's just say where most people are college smart, he's high school smart. Something to do with how he was born different. So the only woman he could run off with is his mother.

Funny that...
My sister married a pharmacist and I married a journalist. But my father strongly suggested when we were young/single that we both should marry mechanics. He still made sure we could both change a tire before being allowed to drive. Not that EITHER of us has ever had to change one........

"They're called boobs, Ed." /ebrockovich

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ihave3cats
I don't want to insult my own husband but he's not exactly a catch. Let's just say where most people are college smart, he's high school smart. Something to do with how he was born different. So the only woman he could run off with is his mother.

That's too bad. My husband is smart, talented, very creative, a hard worker, faithful, loyal and loving to me. And, he's nice looking, too We have a good life together.
Why would you even consider marrying a man if you don't think he's a catch?
I feel sorry for your husband, because nobody deserves to marry a person who doesn't find them desirable.

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Peace

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ihave3cats
I don't want to insult my own husband but he's not exactly a catch. Let's just say where most people are college smart, he's high school smart. Something to do with how he was born different. So the only woman he could run off with is his mother.

That's too bad. My husband is smart, talented, very creative, a hard worker, faithful, loyal and loving to me. And, he's nice looking, too We have a good life together.
Why would you even consider marrying a man if you don't think he's a catch?
I feel sorry for your husband, because nobody deserves to marry a person who doesn't find them desirable.

Mine too. I don't understand for the LIFE of me why a person would settle for someone they consider to be unintelligent.

"Born different"? Was he born a tard or something?

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mumofsixbirds

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Peace

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ihave3cats
I don't want to insult my own husband but he's not exactly a catch. Let's just say where most people are college smart, he's high school smart. Something to do with how he was born different. So the only woman he could run off with is his mother.

That's too bad. My husband is smart, talented, very creative, a hard worker, faithful, loyal and loving to me. And, he's nice looking, too We have a good life together.
Why would you even consider marrying a man if you don't think he's a catch?
I feel sorry for your husband, because nobody deserves to marry a person who doesn't find them desirable.

Mine too. I don't understand for the LIFE of me why a person would settle for someone they consider to be unintelligent.

"Born different"? Was he born a tard or something?

I was with one guy on and off for 10 years, on and off, and he was cute and had dreamy blue eyes and was very/mostly sweet but in the end, I realized I couldn't be with someone whose only completed literary endeavor was the Dragonlance Chronicles/Trilogy.

My current dh LOL current, writes Hunter S. Thompson fan fiction. But he also can't change a tire. Or drive a stick. #myfirstworldproblems

I also hate the "carry on the family name" bullshit.

I am actually the last of my father's line. I have only sisters. After I was born, my mom asked my father if he wanted to try again for a boy. Much to his credit, he said he loved his girls and he was content with life. It was a good thing he said that because he died suddenly when I was eight and my mom would have had more kids to raise alone.


Although my father died way too young, I now realize what a gift he gave me: I never felt less than because I was female.

I've told more than a few people who insist on this stupidity: Go look on-line at the U.S. phone book and search on your last name. Unless your name is Dinklefoose, there will likely be hundreds if not thousands of people with your name.

However I can see my in-laws saying something stupid like this. Luckily my DH has multiple male siblings and they have some sons,not that it would have made any difference in my plans.

OOOH or if she asks why you don't have kids, say you don't want STIs. If she asks if your* partner is clean, look her square in the face and say "I was referring to the kids."

Edited to change grammatical error. In my haste to comment I messed up.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

I hate the carry on the family name bullshit. I got that from Takeo's family when we got married. I made it clear I'm Childfree and Takeo knew it when we started dating. If breeding was important to him, he would've married one of the many single moos or wannabreeds that threw themselves at him when he moved to DC.

There's a county named for his family, think they'll be remembered.

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mumofsixbirds

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Peace

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ihave3cats
I don't want to insult my own husband but he's not exactly a catch. Let's just say where most people are college smart, he's high school smart. Something to do with how he was born different. So the only woman he could run off with is his mother.

That's too bad. My husband is smart, talented, very creative, a hard worker, faithful, loyal and loving to me. And, he's nice looking, too We have a good life together.
Why would you even consider marrying a man if you don't think he's a catch?
I feel sorry for your husband, because nobody deserves to marry a person who doesn't find them desirable.

Mine too. I don't understand for the LIFE of me why a person would settle for someone they consider to be unintelligent.

"Born different"? Was he born a tard or something?

Let's say when you get married,
you are in love and see everything through rose-coloured glasses.
It is a point A.
When you live with someone for a long time, the reality sets in. It is a point B.

I am at the point B and I see DH in a different light.
He changed, f.e. he has expectations of me I don't want to meet.
This wasn't the case at the point A.

In addition to this, when you start living with someone, you'll see the negative traits of that person.
Over the course of time, those negative traits that weren't an issue at the beginning get more and more annoying.

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randomcfchick
My paternal grandfather was very into the "carry on the family name" thing. He'd openly talk about how my brother was the "last of the line" (which made my sister and me feel shitty, and I'm sure my three female cousins were annoyed, too) to carry on the name. Funny part: my sister and I both wound up keeping our names after marriage, and my brother is still not a parent at 45...from what I see, he's not interested in that lifestyle, either. But the dutiful cousins have dropped at least one kid each. I'm sure Granddad is spinning in his grave.

A while ago my boyfriend's aunt (his father's sister) gave him some bingos about that when he was telling his cousin (her son) that he didn't think he was interested in kids. She insisted that he has to carry on the family name, because between her brothers there are only two male children.

If she cared that strongly about carrying on her father's name, perhaps she should have given it to her own children instead of passing on her husband's name to them? I do not grasp why a woman would care about family names and at the same time accept a role as the vessel for passing on another name.

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mumofsixbirds

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Peace
Why would you even consider marrying a man if you don't think he's a catch?
I feel sorry for your husband, because nobody deserves to marry a person who doesn't find them desirable.

Mine too. I don't understand for the LIFE of me why a person would settle for someone they consider to be unintelligent.

Uh, I don't get this either. I'd be devastated if I found out my partner didn't respect my intelligence and consider us near equals. It's one thing to discover over time that someone has irritating qualities, but if I ever reached the point where I felt that my partner was damn lucky to have me but the inverse wasn't true, I'd consider that relationship expired.

I see no reason for a CF person not to have standards. It's not as if we have to worry about our reproductive expiry date. And we all have experience with ignoring social expectations. I find it rather pathetic and desperate when I see people who can't be alone, but bounce from relationship to relationship - why don't they seek help about their obvious self-esteem issues?

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I don't understand for the LIFE of me why a person would settle for someone they consider to be unintelligent.

I don't think that this is the case here. I think it is a disillusionment that sets in after years of marriage/partnership.

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ihave3cats
I don't want to insult my own husband but he's not exactly a catch. Let's just say where most people are college smart, he's high school smart. Something to do with how he was born different. So the only woman he could run off with is his mother.

You hardly need to be a catch to find a breeder. Pretty much anyone can do it.

Too many replies to my last post. To clear the air, when I said he's not a catch I meant that to most people he's not ideal. I married him because he completes me and I complete him. I have my own shortcomings that he excels at. For example I'll do our taxes but he leads us at social gatherings.
And what's different about him is he's not retarded but his doctors were sure he was. He wasn't expected to sit up much less become a contributing member of society. But there are still suttle reminders that he's a little hindered and he can't change that. But as far as I can tell it doesn't make our marriage that different from anyone else's.