Self-proclaimed mediocre working mahm bleets

That must be so hard for her, living up to the responsibilities she placed on herself. Work, bitch!

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"If you can't feed your baby, then don't have a baby. And don't think maybe, if you can't feed your baby."
- The wisdom of the late Michael Jackson
"The mother of the year should be a sterilized woman with two adopted children." - Paul Ehrlich

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jmc
That must be so hard for her, living up to the responsibilities she placed on herself. Work, bitch!

Precisely. No one in western society, generally speaking, is being forced to be a working mom, or anything else.

Is working and taking care of kydz stressful and shitty? It sure sounds like it, hence, why I choose to avoid that.

Not everyone has the energy or the temperment to "do it all" or "have it all". The modern world puts a lot of pressure on everyone to do it, but still people have a responsibility to think for themselves.

Part of my decision to be CF came from not wanting to "do it all". The biggest factor was I don't like or enjoy children; but also I knew even as a teenager that I am not the type who will do well with a frantically busy life.

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ondinette

Part of my decision to be CF came from not wanting to "do it all". The biggest factor was I don't like or enjoy children; but also I knew even as a teenager that I am not the type who will do well with a frantically busy life.

And that is precisely what I witness among most of the parents that I know. They spend their nights and weekends chauffeuring the children from activity, to activity, to activity...

Many of them play on multiple sports teams in addition to doing community theatre, instruments, martial arts, etc. etc. The parents either encourage this frantically busy schedule or do not have the nerve to simply tell their kids, "Sorry junior, my life is not centered around you playing sports. So you can play on one soccer team. Not four."

The parents' weekends are entirely booked with this stuff. And by "entirely booked" I mean 8am-8pm, carting them around in the minivan to these different events. Sorry, I just don't see the point in spending 12 hours on a Saturday watching a bunch of 6 year olds play soccer.

"Sorry junior, my life is not centered around you playing sports. So you can play on one soccer team. Not four."

So true. My DH played sports in high school. His parents never once came to a single practice. He often *gasp* rode his bike home from practice. His parents only came to the "important" games, as it should be, because supposedly kids are doing these activities for themselves and not because the parents are watching.

I did after school activities and got there myself or rode the late bus home.

Contrast that with parents today who go to every PRACTICE and hover, who argue with the coaches about their kids being allowed to play, and tote their kids everywhere. And it's not just during the regular season. One of my friend's kids participates in a horrid activity called "travel ball" where her son goes to games all over the state all weekend.

The rational for all of this is OMG MUST. HAVE. ACTIVITIES,. FOR. COLLEGE. or OMG MUST. GET. SPORTS. SCHOLARSHIP.

Let's be realistic, most of these kids aren't of the caliber to get a scholarship.

My parents made me choose two extracurricular activities, one which involved carpooling. Any other activities had to take place in the neighborhood so I could take care of my own transportation. When I quit ballet at 12 they flipped out and refused to pay for any other activities.
I was quickly getting to the point where it was join a company or quit, and joining a company with long practice schedules was out of the question because they barely tolerated taking me to lessons two days a week.
The favored younger sister was encouraged to participate in as many activities as possible. As a matter of fact, she participated in so many activities it bordered on maniac and she never had a free moment.

Fast forward, both of her kids are way over-encumbered in activities. Her son plays basketball, baseball, golf, karate, church crap, chorus, and either 3 or 4 instruments. And that is just a partial list! During summer he goes to various band and sport camps and church trips. Same with my niece. They never rest, any of them!

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bell_flower
... One of my friend's kids participates in a horrid activity called "travel ball" where her son goes to games all over the state all weekend.

The rational for all of this is OMG MUST. HAVE. ACTIVITIES,. FOR. COLLEGE. or OMG MUST. GET. SPORTS. SCHOLARSHIP.

Let's be realistic, most of these kids aren't of the caliber to get a scholarship.

Very, very, very, very few kids will earn an athletic scholarship to ANY college, let alone a Division One college. A tiny fraction will earn a Division I scholarship. Of that tiny fraction that go to a D1 college, an even tinier percentage will ever be drafted or signed by a professional team.

When I hear that parents are spending (literally) thousands of dollars on equipment, sports camps, league fees, travel, etc., I am really baffled as to why they do it. I can only presume that they are convinced that Johnny has a future in the NBA and Suzie is going to UCLA on a softball scholarship.

Don't get me wrong--I like sports as much as anyone else. I think they are good exercise and a good, clean competition is a part of the human experience. What these parents fail to realize is that sports provide absolutely no useful skills in any modern workplace. Throwing a fastball, shooting a 3 pointer, or acing a serve does not translate into anything even remotely useful in today's society. They are competitive advantages limited to their particular sports.

I can't help but feel sorry for a kyd whose spent all of his free time being dragged around to nothing but sports events for the first 18 years of his life. Compared to peers who chose a more balanced academic path, he'll be at a huge disadvantage no matter what he decides to do--college, trade school, or workforce.

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StudioFiftyFour

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bell_flower
Throwing a fastball, shooting a 3 pointer, or acing a serve does not translate into anything even remotely useful in today's society. They are competitive advantages limited to their particular sports.

This! People need to realize that activities are luxuries, not preparations for the real world.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

well, yeah moo you are mediocre. when you don't have the sense to operate within your means, and that includes energy, someone is gonna get short changed. and it usually is the kid you so piously simp you are doing it all for

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I'm so glad I don't have to shuttle my dog to multiple canine activities like Fetching, Swimming, Digging, and Competitive Butt Sniffing.

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ondinette
Not everyone has the energy or the temperment to "do it all" or "have it all". The modern world puts a lot of pressure on everyone to do it, but still people have a responsibility to think for themselves.

Part of my decision to be CF came from not wanting to "do it all". The biggest factor was I don't like or enjoy children; but also I knew even as a teenager that I am not the type who will do well with a frantically busy life.

That phrase, "having it all" has always bugged me a little. Why does it have to mean such things as getting married, having kids, living in a house, etc.? My version of "having it all" means being personally and financially independent. That is, I am single (but in a LTR), childfree, and I don't have to work because my investments generate more than enough money to live on. I own my apartment outright and I come and go as I please, as I have for the last 7 years when I was then 45. *I* have it all. Being a parent was NEVER part of the equation. In fact, it would have drastically worsened my life, preventing me from "having it all."

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deegee


That phrase, "having it all" has always bugged me a little.

It should, because no one can "have it all." The laws of scarcity and opportunity cost prevent it.

The only thing that the "having it all" phrase proves is that many (maybe most?) humans are capable of unlimited want.

However, those legitimately attempting to "have it all" ultimately end up burned out and disappointed. If they focused as much of their energy on working toward a long-term quality of life, they'd be much less stressed out and more satisfied with their lives, in my opinion.

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deegee

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ondinette
Not everyone has the energy or the temperment to "do it all" or "have it all". The modern world puts a lot of pressure on everyone to do it, but still people have a responsibility to think for themselves.

Part of my decision to be CF came from not wanting to "do it all". The biggest factor was I don't like or enjoy children; but also I knew even as a teenager that I am not the type who will do well with a frantically busy life.

That phrase, "having it all" has always bugged me a little. Why does it have to mean such things as getting married, having kids, living in a house, etc.? My version of "having it all" means being personally and financially independent. That is, I am single (but in a LTR), childfree, and I don't have to work because my investments generate more than enough money to live on. I own my apartment outright and I come and go as I please, as I have for the last 7 years when I was then 45. *I* have it all. Being a parent was NEVER part of the equation. In fact, it would have drastically worsened my life, preventing me from "having it all."

I agree; I was always told I couldn't have it all. Well, unbeknownst to them, kids had never been part of the plan; so yes, I had MORE of an opportunity to have what *I* thought was 'all.' I've accomplished most things I wanted to, got a few more to try with, hopefully, good health. Breeders really come undone when you inform them that you do indeed have it all. Because what they 'thought' was 'all' turns out to be too much of the wrong thing, and clearly I chose most of the right things.

*sad warbling*
"Didn't we almost have it alllllllllllllll......"

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That phrase, "having it all"

This phrase is always directed at women in my home country.
Men are not affected.
It describes a woman who has children, a meaningful career and great looks.

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bop
*sad warbling*
"Didn't we almost have it alllllllllllllll......"

"But then we screwed it up by breeding
Weekends spent at pee-wee football
Life is diapers and titfeeding"

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Miss_Hannigan

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bop
*sad warbling*
"Didn't we almost have it alllllllllllllll......"

"But then we screwed it up by breeding
Weekends spent at pee-wee football
Life is diapers and titfeeding"

The nights we were kept up 'til the morningggggg
You know you've never known true love...
'Til you've birthed a bowling ball