just out of professional curiosity

This is completely hypothetical, but if something happened to your childed adult siblings, would you take in your nieces and nephews? What would you do if your spouse insisted on taking in their niece/nephew because something happened to their parents.


If it were my nieces/nephews Id say no, if my spouse insisted on taking his nieces/nephews because something happened to the parents, well lets just say he would become a single dad.

Im not attached, but if i do this will be a stipulation in our prenup. Childfree means childfree, not only are we not having kids, we arent taking custody of anyone elses kids either should their parents die of become otherwise unable, he will agree to this before i walk down that isle. A childfree couple is prime targets for beibg put in the will for custody of loaves.

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ladybug2203
This is completely hypothetical, but if something happened to your childed adult siblings, would you take in your nieces and nephews? What would you do if your spouse insisted on taking in their niece/nephew because something happened to their parents.


If it were my nieces/nephews Id say no, if my spouse insisted on taking his nieces/nephews because something happened to the parents, well lets just say he would become a single dad.

Im not attached, but if i do this will be a stipulation in our prenup. Childfree means childfree, not only are we not having kids, we arent taking custody of anyone elses kids either should their parents die of become otherwise unable, he will agree to this before i walk down that isle. A childfree couple is prime targets for beibg put in the will for custody of loaves.

I'd say no. I'm not the godparents of any nieces or nephews anyways. I wasn't asked to be as my siblings asked other parents they knew to be godparents.
If married, it would mean a divorce if my spouse decided he is no longer childfree. And I'd be sure to move out before the kids moved in even if the divorce isn't finalized yet, a one bedroom apartment is fine with me.

To clarify: A mortgage here for an average house is going to be over $2500 a month at minimum, so if I were married and divorced due to kids then we'd refinance the house so I could cash out my equity and pseudo-husband could keep it along with the bedrooms needed for kids. Or just sell the house altogether if neither of us want it. I'd much rather not pay for an albatross while divorcing. It would be completely different if I lived in an area with a lower average house price. Pseudo-husband should just keep the darn house or upgrade and get used to spending all his money on his new famblee because he'll be bleed dry no matter his income.

no No NO NOOOOO!!!!

No. There are members of my extended family who'd be more than willing anyway. I'd likely send some financial help if needed, though.
Same goes for my SO's hypothetical nieces/nephews. If that ever happens and he gets any ideas, he's welcome to take them in, but I'll be out of the picture. Again, I'd understand if he wanted to fork over some money or be a part of their lives in other ways, but I want no part of childcare or any legal obligations to them - EVER.

I don't have low self-esteem. That's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.
-Daria

Nope.

I wouldn't take them in. I wouldn't fork over any money to help raise them either. I've already been approached by siblings in past years to fork over money, time, and talents to help with their kids, and it was a big NOPE each and every time.

It is the same with husband's nieces and nephews. If he was determined to take them, then he would have to leave. I wouldn't leave my house for some brat, he could move out and go live with them in that situation.

Luckily this won't ever happen to us. My sibling's kids are adults now, and husband's nephew, while young, is not a USA citizen and has no right to live here.

It depends on if it's a decent* teenager who basically just needs a room to stay in or a 5-year-old. Maybe to the decent teen, absolutely not to anything else.

*By "decent" I mean one that is not in trouble, self-sufficient and has plans to leave or pay rent right after high school graduation. A young adult.

You cannot be forced to take a relative's kyds regardless of what a will says. No one can legally force someone else's children on you. Even if you or a spouse agreed to do so some time ago, you can still always change your mind if the situation really arises.

We've discussed this in passing a time or two here, but it needs repeating.

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happyhiker
It depends on if it's a decent* teenager who basically just needs a room to stay in or a 5-year-old. Maybe to the decent teen, absolutely not to anything else.

*By "decent" I mean one that is not in trouble, self-sufficient and has plans to leave or pay rent right after high school graduation. A young adult.

I wouldnt, even the rare unicorn of a perfect teenager will still need some parental guidance, plus they'll cost $$, and with todays bleak job market failure to launch is a very likely scenario. Rarely are they out and independent by their 18th birthday.

Nope. The niece is a psycho and the nephew is being brought up by psycho's (if he lives long enough) I want nothing at all to do with either.

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"It is better not to look like what you are; it is better to look like a bourgeois woman because then all the doors are open for you and then you can just go and make hell." - Marjane Satrapi

No. My nieces {my brother's kids} are old enough to mostly take care of themselves, but even if they weren't I'd say no. I wouldn't want to ruin my life by raising kids I never wanted.

I also wouldn't raise my hypothetical SO's nieces. I probably wouldn't get divorced, because from what I understand it is a lot of paperwork and quite expensive*, but I would move out. If the brats didn't breed animosity, living together could continue after they have left, under the condition that they are not to stay over for any extended visits.

While it is not my entire philosophy of life, when it comes to kids, I am basing my life on the utilitarian principle of maximizing pleasure and avoiding pain.

*This is part of why I dislike marriage as an institution.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

Since the kids are all older I would take them in, knowing it would probably ruin my life. But I'd think of it like getting cancer- you can't plan for this shit, it just happens. Even if the kids were miserable being raised by me, it would be better than having them homeless. So that's my line.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Miss_Hannigan
Since the kids are all older I would take them in, knowing it would probably ruin my life. But I'd think of it like getting cancer- you can't plan for this shit, it just happens. Even if the kids were miserable being raised by me, it would be better than having them homeless. So that's my line.

Your answer makes me curious... are you in a position, vis a vis a friend or relative's living will, to take legal custody of children in the event that they are orphaned?

I wonder how many on this board would be willing to take them in at let's say age 15 as opposed to age 5, knowing that it wouldn't be too long until the child was out of the house.

Told my breeders if the golden parasite becomes an orphan, it's the state's problem not mine. Takeo's nephews are over 18 but I would leave him in a heartbeat if he took them in as minors. I was very upfront on what I meant when I said I am childfree. We agree that we will not take in any brats if his nephews breed. Later learned when Takeo announced he got a job in DC SiL called their cousin and made her guardian of the nephews if she and BiL died.

To answer StudioFiftyFour's question I refuse to take in any minor regardless of age. One of the reasons I'm CF is I don't want to deal with the schools. If one of Takeo's nephews (currently in the 21-35 range) moved to DC they could stay with us for a month until they found their own place or start paying rent and do 1/3 of the household chores. Can't see any of them moving to DC any time soon.

My nieces and nephews are older now, but if something happened and they wanted me to care for their kids, I'd just say no. I didn't make 'em, I'm childfree for many reasons and they have other relatives that could look after them. Also, my home isn't kid friendly, and my 2nd bedroom is my office.

Not my responsibility, not my problem. It doesn't mean I don't care for them, but I just don't want to look after anyone else's sprogs for ANY reason.

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ladybug2203
Im not attached, but if i do this will be a stipulation in our prenup.

I think this is wise. No way would I take any of my relatives for any reason, and Mr. kittehpeoples feels the same.

There's only ever been one child that we would entertain the notion of taking in if something happened to her mother, and it's because I dearly love her mother (my best friend); friend's ex/child's father is an untrustworthy asshole; and we don't like how friend's family raised/treats her and don't want them to mess up her daughter, too. Having said all that, the kid is almost 18 now so I'm pretty safe spouting off about it. It would be more like having a roommate than a child. If she were still an infant, it would be a totally different consideration.

If it was a child of a friend or relative that had demonstrated kindness toward me, I would say YES, I'd take care of the child, if and only if ALL of the following prerequisites were met...


1. The child was over the age of 10. This would ensure that he/she would only be around for a decade or so.
2. The child was the beneficiary of a substantial life insurance policy, thereby insuring that all financial obligations of taking care of the child would be met, including not only the daily costs but also the cost of higher education.
3. The child was not involved in substance abuse or juvenile delinquency, or at least did not appear to be on that track.

Never. I don't speak to my family and probably wont after the last of my loved relatives die or I die. Psh, even just saying that proves I wouldn't want them even if I weren't keeping myself afloat in life. I got kicked off a facebook group for even daring to suggest that someone who already had done that very thing probably wasn't childfree anymore, as they had adoptive kids. Group was run by steps, left shortly after people started shoving kid pictures on there- they always find a way to 'try and make it relevant' to the page don't they?

benevolent Anti-natalist, pro-abortion, pro-smut, anti-sleeze, eat the rich, fuck childbirth. pro-black, lgbtqia? Cool. *thumbs up*

I've never even bothered to meet my siblings' sprogs, in the decade+ they've existed. Anyone who expects me to take them in is delusional. I'm willing to meet them when they're adults, if for some reason they want to meet me.

There is no way I'm taking anyone's brats, including nieces or nephews brats. My house just isn't made to house kids, and even if it was loaf proofed, I only have two bedrooms and one is small and currently being used as an office. No room at the inn, and since I'm living in my forever home, there's no chance of it EVER.

Even if I were to live in a ten bedroom house, I still wouldn't want to take on the responsibility. That's why I'm CF. My husband wouldn't want that kind of shit going on either, and he would never even ask me.

People can call us selfish, I just call us smart. There are plenty of other family members who can take on someone else's kids if they shouldn't be able to care for them. Let them handle that shit, since they're breeders anyway, and would know how to deal with it.

Hmm. Probably no, but there are a couple variables.

1. If the kid is under ten, no. I don't want that length of commitment. I also want them to arrive with some level of coping and adaptive skills. I don't wanna deal with diapers, training wheels, wiping noses, or tying shoes.

2. If the kid has tendency toward delinquency, behavioral issues, or character issues...no.

3. Mr. Random would have to be on board if I was approached for this, and vice versa. Kids need to be wanted by BOTH parental people, or it will fuck them up.

4. If the kid is autistic or otherwise massively delayed...no.

5. If the kid doesn't arrive with a trust fund, life insurance benefit, or some other massive infusion of cash...no. I don't make much money, and neither does the spouse. We simply couldn't afford a kid.

A lot of my nieces and nephews are already young adults...so it's a non-starter. But if I rewound time a bit, there is maybe ONE niece that we would have met the above conditions. The rest...too messed up by poor parenting.

There is maybe ONE friend whose kids I'd consider raising (young- to mid-teens, very neat young ladies), but the friend is smart enough to know that I would not be the number one choice for the job. I would definitely still be around for those two as an adult mentor/adopted auntie, though; they're well-raised and are going to be great adults.

There was one friend who hinted around when she and her husband were getting their wills squared away, but ultimately she chose someone else, so we didn't have to have that conversation. I don't know her kids, and I would parent them very differently from how she does, so it would have been a recipe for disaster.

Overall...no. I am not the one for the job. There's a reason I'm not already raising any kids.

No.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

Hell No.

My breeder sibling is the most irresponsible, narcissistic and self-absorbed twat that has walked the Earth, and his spawn are mini-version on him. His entire life is one train-wreck after another, and 2x oopsies are a testament to his irresponsibility - which still has not stopped well into his middle age.

There is no way on this planet or any other that would make me take care of them, as well as the fact that these brats are in their late teens and are more than capable of looking after themselves.

Long story short, they're the kids of the family's firstborn Golden Penis , and would be given a leg up with everything by my parents, as they and him have been (which both my sister and I have continually missed out on).

I cannot, even if I wanted, take in a child or a teen.

I live in specialized housing for people of indifferent health. I can't even have a gold fish.

Fortunately, my niece & nephew are as childfree as any denizen on Bratfree.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Hell no, because, Not my circus, Not my monkeys.

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StudioFiftyFour

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Miss_Hannigan
Since the kids are all older I would take them in, knowing it would probably ruin my life. But I'd think of it like getting cancer- you can't plan for this shit, it just happens. Even if the kids were miserable being raised by me, it would be better than having them homeless. So that's my line.

Your answer makes me curious... are you in a position, vis a vis a friend or relative's living will, to take legal custody of children in the event that they are orphaned?

I wonder how many on this board would be willing to take them in at let's say age 15 as opposed to age 5, knowing that it wouldn't be too long until the child was out of the house.

I don t believe there's anything official, but we were asked if we'd be willing parents, god forbid something happen. HOWEVER, this is for ONE relative only, whose kids are older and genuinely respectful. Any other friend or relative? No. Fucking. Way.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny