Bizee Mawm is a potluck nazi

http://www.seriouseats.com/2016/07/how-to-throw-a-potluck-party.html

Since having a baby, this writer is too tired to throw proper parties, so she relies on holding potluck gatherings to get fed. The problem is your food does not meet her lofty standards, so she wrote a book on how to appease her. The entitlement attitude is on par with the legendary Gluten-Free Girl.

Unless you've recently had a baby or endured some equally huge, stressful life change, bringing a bottle of wine to a potluck doesn't count as bringing a dish. Sorry...

Premade vegetable trays have their place (kids' softball games, for instance), but now that most of us have access to a wide array of beautiful seasonal vegetables, crudités deserve as much love as any cooked dish...

Look, I understand. Life happens. There may be times when you can't make something from scratch for a party. But please, for the love of all things delicious, can we all agree to stop buying the oversize trays of crappy cookies, cakes, and pies from the supermarket?

I wish I knew her personally so I could bring an anonymous Jell-O salad with candied bits of laxative. Oops, I mean craft an artisanal quinoa-kale salad topped with first-lactation goat cheese...and bits of laxative.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Sounds like she'd make good friends with that cunt who wanted everyone to bring her black panties and olives after breeding, or the one who expected everyone to sign up to do chores for her post-loaf (were they the same person? I forget).

Bitch, some people like to munch on carrots and dip at parties. Some people don't have all the time in the world to play house like mommies do to make shit from scratch; I know Moos like to believe they're the ones who are too bizzy to make real food, but they ought to try having real careers instead of sitting on their stretch-pantsed asses microwaving chicken nuggets for dinner and insisting they deserve a six-figure income for doing far less work than anyone with an actual job.

If her greedy, entitled ass doesn't want a store-bought tray of cookies or vegetables from me, then I'm just not going to attend her fucking potluck and be guilted over not providing "real" food. I've got far better shit to spend my money on.

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Unless you've recently had a baby or endured some equally huge, stressful life change, bringing a bottle of wine to a potluck doesn't count as bringing a dish. Sorry. But do just a little bit more, like adding an infused syrup and some citrus juice to your wine, and you've got yourself something that's potluck-worthy.

Oh, but of course, NO life event will EVER be as huge or stressful as breeding, so obviously nothing will ever compare to how stressful and bizzy a Moo's life is, which means that your lazy ass has no excuse for not "properly" feeding her. Even if you did shit a loaf recently, her life will still be harder that yours is. Be goddamn grateful that someone brought a bottle of wine over at all.

I'm surprised she doesn't go on to say how much food guests should be "allowed" to have based on what they contribute to the potluck. If you just brought over some pop, well then you're only allowed to have a salad. If you copped out and brought a tray of store-bought cookies, all you get to have is cookies for dinner.

I know, she's the asshole who brings an esoteric dish to Thanksgiving to show her sophistication and it sits untouched as guests pound Brownberry stuffing, marshmallowed sweet potatoes and the ultimate outrage: pie from Bakers Square. Then she fumes on the ride home about how her in-laws are savages and next Thanksgiving they're going out to a restaurant instead.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

I would think the bizzy mawm would be overjoyed if someone brought a bottle of wine.

She is exhausting, has her husband attempted suicide yet? I wouldn't be the least surprised if she talks big but pitches a fit if someone shows up with a dish which upstages her dish.

And let's be honest, with all the food allergies and preferences most food sensitive people are best off bringing something to a potluck they can actually eat, else they may only be able to drink wine.

If she cares about the food more than the guests then invite foodies only. Of course, that would negate the need for her useless book.

I think a bottle of wine is especially thoughtful because the host can either open the bottle or keep it for another night. This isn't necessarily true for a bunch of leftover food, the host may not have the storage room or ability to eat all the food.

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Miss_Hannigan
Look, I understand. Life happens. There may be times when you can't make something from scratch for a party. But please, for the love of all things delicious, can we all agree to stop buying the oversize trays of crappy cookies, cakes, and pies from the supermarket?[/color] .

This bitch throws potluck parties because 'she doesn't have time to cook,' but then criticizes people for not having time to cook? Okay then.

I never understood these 'busy mawms.' What are they busy doing? Babies sleep a lot, or so I've heard, school aged kids are gone for 6 hours a day, and kids older than 12 or so shouldn't really need help with basic tasks. Breeding isn't rocket science.

To lurking moos, who may think 'if it's so easy, you do it.' I don't have kids because I don't want them. My not wanting kids doesn't make having them difficult, it just means I don't want kids. Setting my kitchen on fire wouldn't be difficult either, that doesn't mean I should do it to prove its ease.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

I love it when people bring store-bought shit to a potluck. I know it's been professionally prepared in clean facilities. It's the homemade weird-ass shit like quinoa salad that nobody wants to fucking eat and gets the serious side-eye from me as to whether it's been prepared hygienically.
#TeamVeggieTray

Breeder entitlement knows no bounds. I wonder if anyone will ever show at one of her "parties" again now that she's told them all they're not feeding her correctly? I sure as hell wouldn't.

When I go to potlucks, I am serving food on a tight disability budget and cycling on an adaptive trike 5-10 km each way in summer heat.

In order to accommodate people with food allergies and vegetarians, as well as my own multiple disabilities and have the stuff as fresh and hygienic as possible, I usually bring plain whole raw fruit or vegetables (in a thick cooler bag with ice packs) that I cut up just before they will be eaten. They are prepared in a proper professional kitchen hygienic manner on large platters.

I almost never had leftovers to take home as all of the fresh fruit /veggie platter contents are completely consumed.
I will take that result as my guide over the judgment of that stupid moo.

So only SHE is allowed to be too busy to cook? Lots of other people have kids, why would they be any less busy than her? What about people with demanding careers, chronic illnesses, or just no talent for cooking?

Fuck this entitled bitch. I would not do a damn thing for her.

"Unless you've recently had a baby or endured some equally huge, stressful life change, bringing a bottle of wine to a potluck doesn't count as bringing a dish. Sorry..."
Okay then, I'll bring a bottle of vodka. I'm going to need something to help me endure your dull as fuck potluck party anyway.

Watch other people stop coming to her shitty potlucks (aka, "Too cheap to cater her own parties") and have their own parties to which she's not invited.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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In order to accommodate people with food allergies and vegetarians, as well as my own multiple disabilities and have the stuff as fresh and hygienic as possible, I usually bring plain whole raw fruit or vegetables (in a thick cooler bag with ice packs) that I cut up just before they will be eaten. They are prepared in a proper professional kitchen hygienic manner on large platters.

I almost never had leftovers to take home as all of the fresh fruit /veggie platter contents are completely consumed.
I will take that result as my guide over the judgment of that stupid moo.

That's another thing. Between the bizarre food allergies people (or their spawn) have these days and the stupid shit people will bring to potlucks in attempts to seem cultured, some people just want the basics. I'll even side with the brats on this one because some may not want to eat things like baked beans or macaroni salad and will go eat fruit instead.

When I go to a potluck or a picnic of some kind, I don't expect weird food - in fact, I'm probably not going to touch yuppie slop made with things I've never heard of. Nope, I'm going to head toward the burgers, veggies and dip and various mayonnaise-based salads. Most people have their own recipes for these kinds of things, so I know it's not going to be boring. The potato salad I have at a fourth of July picnic is going to be different from the potato salad I had at the graduation party a month before then.

Fruit/veggie trays are simple and refreshing, especially in summer. Fruits tend to be juicy and vegetables are crunchy - both welcome culinary sensations in 90-degree heat.

I can understand asking someone to bring a specific dish to pass, especially if they happen to be good at making it (I tend to get people asking me to bring desserts when I go to parties where everyone brings a dish). But sitting there and basically making a whole book telling everyone you know that their classic potluck foods are crap is just spitting in the face of every single person who wants to bring Great Aunt Mabel's world-famous baked beans instead of dandelion greens and catnip salad with flamingo saliva vinaigrette for her Moo-ness.

You want people to actually eat what you make, so you have to make stuff that's going to appeal to more than one palate. The only one at the party who's going to eat something fucked up like Snickers-edamame glazed scorpion kebabs is the foodie who thinks they're shit doesn't stink and sits there with their fucking kombucha because they're too good for Coke.

"Look, I understand. Life happens."

Ah, no, I don't think you understand jackshit about anybody's life happening except yours. Writing a WHOLE BOOK about how everybody's doing the party food thing wrong would indicate that there's likely a lot about life about which you are clueless and not in the least 'understanding.'

She's one of the rich, connected people who doesn't have to worry about how to make the next mortgage payment, so she has to FIND problems, like the crisis of people bringing cheap foods to potlucks. I have zero sympathy for these silver-spoon princesses who grew up with wealthy parents. Be kind and don't flaunt your privilege, OK?

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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stillwaters
I love it when people bring store-bought shit to a potluck. I know it's been professionally prepared in clean facilities. It's the homemade weird-ass shit like quinoa salad that nobody wants to fucking eat and gets the serious side-eye from me as to whether it's been prepared hygienically.
#TeamVeggieTray

If I was going to a pot luck and the host had access to a microwave, the party would be getting something out of my crock pot. I do mean casseroles and soups. The ingredients are cheaper than store bought.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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Miss_Hannigan
She's one of the rich, connected people who doesn't have to worry about how to make the next mortgage payment, so she has to FIND problems, like the crisis of people bringing cheap foods to potlucks. I have zero sympathy for these silver-spoon princesses who grew up with wealthy parents. Be kind and don't flaunt your privilege, OK?

Is there a more elitist/entitled version of "first world problems"? Maybe there should be. "Privileged breeder problems," maybe?

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kittehpeoples

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Miss_Hannigan
She's one of the rich, connected people who doesn't have to worry about how to make the next mortgage payment, so she has to FIND problems, like the crisis of people bringing cheap foods to potlucks. I have zero sympathy for these silver-spoon princesses who grew up with wealthy parents. Be kind and don't flaunt your privilege, OK?

Is there a more elitist/entitled version of "first world problems"? Maybe there should be. "Privileged breeder problems," maybe?

My thoughts exactly. This lady sounds exhausting. She is looking for things to complain about.

I can see making arrangements to insure that the food doesn't consist entirely of bags of chips. I don't mind if someone tells me that entrees are squared away, so please bring a salad. No prob.

But don't tell me what type of salad or pooh-pooh my contriburion just because it's from a store. Maybe I had a fucking long day at work and am looking forward to an evening with others to pick me up.

I imagine the author is a high-maintenance control freak who doesn't have anything better to do than boss people about how they cook or if they cook or what they cook.

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stillwaters
I love it when people bring store-bought shit to a potluck. I know it's been professionally prepared in clean facilities. It's the homemade weird-ass shit like quinoa salad that nobody wants to fucking eat and gets the serious side-eye from me as to whether it's been prepared hygienically.
#TeamVeggieTray

I'm still trying to figure out the appeal of potato salad.