"Hey man, my kid hasta go pee"

So last weekend we went on a 90-minute boat guided boat trip with 6 other strangers. Now, I always sign up for group excursions thinking they're going to be fun, only to end up hating the mouth-breathing retards sharing my transportation. I've noticed my anger coincidentally rises when there's young children and their enablers on the tour and this time was no exception.

We were about 45 minutes into the middle of a lake when this asshole 20-something dad pipes up to the driver - and I am NOT exaggerating this loser's tone at all - with a slurry, "Hey man, my kid hasta go to the bathroom, he's all crying and stuff, can we pull over so he can go?"

The poor captain says, "Uh I'm sorry, but that's not possible right now."

"Uh, can he just like, go off the side of the boat or..." He points to his kindergartener wriggling in his seat like there's fire ants eating his raisin balls.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't"

"OK." Asshole turns to his son, lifts his sunglasses and says, "Sorry little dude, you're just gonna have to pee your pants."

The whole boat gets quiet for a few seconds, until the captain resumes his narration on moss or something. Nobody is paying attention, because everyone is fixated in the young boy in front, waiting for him to explode like Old Faithful, anticipating the shoe-soaking piss puddle spreading across the rocking floor. It added a whole new level of drama to the trip, actually. I kept watching the kid, knowing that if he peed I would probably start laughing uncontrollably and would then get a pounding from Fratboy Ass Dad.

Luckily the trip ended without incident, although we docked about ten minutes earlier than the posted end time. (I think if the captain was a mom we would likely have returned to port immediately.) The kid ran off the boat and probably laid waste to some bushes as Ass Dad checked his iPhone. And I resolved to check out the waiting passengers before I ever booked another group tour.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Well kudos to the captain for NOT bowing to the kyd and duhdy. Will teach said kyd to 'hold it' and that the whole world doesn't stop when he has to go pee. Good training.

Honestly tho I'd rather the kid pee over the ledge then in the boat creating a huge piss puddle

Well, they do make a toddler size Pampers that he will probably be wearing the next time they go out.

actually, I can sort of sympathize. I have never had much luck with my plumbing and, even as a child, for some reason I would have to pee about every 15 minutes or so: it wasn't a small amount, it was fairly sizable amount. They were bouts, it would last about 40 minutes to an hour and then end. Other times, I would have no problem whatsoever. I have never bothered to find out why.
I can understand if the kid refused to go before the trip.
I have spent many many miserable minutes, hours having to pee almost to bursting.
I just learned I cannot go and do things where a balloon bladder is necessary.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I think it's good that the tour wasn't brought to a stand-still so someone's brat could take a leak, and also good that he wasn't allowed to piss off the side of the boat to teach him that if you need to go, you go in a bathroom like a civilized person and not over the nearest railing. More kids need to be trained to hold it a little bit too, but I know some kids also have a habit of not saying they need to pee until they're already at DEFCON 1. Still, he must not have had to go that badly if he could go the length of the tour (I'm guessing it was an hour long) without pissing himself. Maybe this kid learned a thing or two about bathroom habits and that the world won't come grinding to a halt for his whims.

My guess is this kid's parents are divorced/broken up and that day was Duh's day to begrudgingly have the kid. Duh most likely isn't too keen on the whole fatherhood thing and isn't going to try really hard to accommodate said child when it's dumped in his lap (because, y'know, it's possible for men to "babysit" their own children).

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twocents
actually, I can sort of sympathize. I have never had much luck with my plumbing and, even as a child, for some reason I would have to pee about every 15 minutes or so: it wasn't a small amount, it was fairly sizable amount. They were bouts, it would last about 40 minutes to an hour and then end. Other times, I would have no problem whatsoever. I have never bothered to find out why.
I can understand if the kid refused to go before the trip.
I have spent many many miserable minutes, hours having to pee almost to bursting.
I just learned I cannot go and do things where a balloon bladder is necessary.

My situation is so bad I don't go anywhere where there isn't a bathroom.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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Cambion
My guess is this kid's parents are divorced/broken up and that day was Duh's day to begrudgingly have the kid. Duh most likely isn't too keen on the whole fatherhood thing and isn't going to try really hard to accommodate said child when it's dumped in his lap (because, y'know, it's possible for men to "babysit" their own children).

BINGO. Young divorced dads are too stupid to make sure Junior goes potty before embarking on a toilet-less boat. He's the kind looking for a girlfriend to handle the cuntwork, dude.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

A kindergarten-aged kid is still in the beginning stages of bladder control. It's only just learned how to use the toilet; the extent of bladder control is recognizing the need to pee and going to the toilet. And like Cambion said, you can't trust a kid that young when you ask them if they need to pee. If they're not at "GOTTA PEE NOW", they're going to say no. You as the parent have to take initiative and take the kid to the bathroom. Even if the kid protests that they don't need to go, make them go. 9 times out of 10, the kid needed to go.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan