Irrationally jealous mommies
Posted by randomcfchick
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Re: Irrationally jealous mommies November 28, 2016 |
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thundergirl85
People who assume that everything is about man-finding are just as annoying as people who assume everything is about having babies. Sometimes things are just about friendship, hobbies, professional networking, volunteering, learning new things, or other ends that having NOTHING to do with their narrow "find a may'nnn and have some babies" view of life.
I suspect the man-finders may mostly be the same womben who assume everything is about having babies. I've known plenty of women who hit puberty and only care about men and then babies. Come to think of it, plenty of younger women couldn't stop talking about men before they hit the baby stage.
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thundergirl85
Also, I think this site can sometimes get on a slippery slope with sexism. Not every case is a matter of "Moomie pokes a hole in the condom and then ignores and harps on the poor guy who would have been happy staying CF." Some men are the ones who pressure the women into having baybees, often out of an Og-dik-werks motivation, then they become deadbeats and force the women into taking on ALL the childcare, then expect the women to not resent them at all and be their little trophy wife alongside their domestic slave. Fuck that. Yes, we women have the uteruses and thus ultimately the final say. And yes, it's stupid to have kids with an obvious deadbeat. But not everyone is a genius, and I'm sick of this "always assume sympathy for the man and that the woman is the lunatic" thing. If a man harbors secretly sexist views, pressures a woman into having a baby under the promise that they'll do their 50% share, then bail, then the man is the one who should be getting his share of the blame. If a guy pressures a woman into having a kid, bails on his fair share, goes around knocking up other women like a stray cat and then hits on hot CF girls (who are smart enough to reject him, but still) at the gym, then I'm sorry but we need to be calling out the guy as an asshole. Not just assuming that everything is the woman's fault.
I agree and think for childfree women that date men it can be difficult for us to see the Og men unless we date them and eventually they reveal themselves. A man who tries to pressure women into having babies isn't going to get anywhere trying to date a childfree woman so his only choice is to hide this from her. And it is just as likely that there are jealous and insecure men running around acting the same way towards their wives (at grocery stores, the gym, etc.) but I wouldn't see this behavior.
I used to have sympathy for the men and women who are tricked or coerced into having babies but I'm now of the
mentality for both sexes. Unless either sex is prepared to potentially do 100% of the childrearing and financially and emotionally cover all necessary expenses then they shouldn't even consider parenting. Spouses die and it isn't always a conscious choice with one spouse or the other choosing to be a deadbeat or shirking responsibilities. And sometimes one of the spouses simply can't handle parenting or a special needs child.|
Re: Irrationally jealous mommies November 30, 2016 |
People do this for lots of reasons unrelated to breeding:
Projection is one of 'em. I've noticed this a few times from nymphos, and also from the kind of people who think that being single is the worst thing in the world and who would rather be in a bad relationship than try to "cope" on their own. They assume everyone else is as desperate as they are.
A now ex-friend of mine once got suspicious that her boyfriend was cheating on her with me- it turned out that he was cheating on her, but with a different friend (and two other women in addition). She had pointed the finger of blame at me because I was single at the time and therefore must have been desperately lonely and desperate for a man- obviously people in relationships never go after other people's partners(!).
Internalised sexism is another. I made up with the aforementioned ex-friend after she found out the truth about her boyfriend's cheating and broke up with him. She admitted that she was coping with the heartbreak by blaming it all on the friend who slept with him, calling her a "whore". I asked her "Well, if he's slept with you and three other women, what does that make him?" Inevitably she took him back and I just gave up trying to talk to her.
I've known several other women who have chosen to blame "the other woman" taken their cheating boyfriends back- when friends do this it makes me want to bang my head against a wall. The old sexist idea that men don't willingly cheat with women, they are seduced by temptresses and are powerless to resist is a deeply-ingrained one...
Internalised sexism, yes- it's so ingrained we even see it here, of all places!
As for reasons for irrational jealousy, I think some people actually get off on the idea that people are jealous of them and trying to steal their partner.
I used to post on a forum where a lot of people knew each other in real life and would meet up regularly. One of my acquaintances from this forum developed a crush on another and stupidly asked me "So, what do you think of him? Do you like him? Should I ask him out?" I thought "Oh fuck, what do I say?"- I didn't like this guy at all but I wanted to be polite, so I said something along the lines of "Oh yeah, he's nice, I like him, go for it". She immediately looked like she was going to scratch my eyes out and I tried to row back with "Oh no, I didn't mean I like him in that way" but it was too late, she already had me down as a jealous man-stealer. She asked him out, he said yes, and she developed a habit of crowing to anyone who'd listen that I was jealous of her and was after her maaaaayun.
I left that forum a long time ago but the last time I looked she was still trying to smear me as some kind of desperate homewrecker- this was well over ten years after they first got together... and a few years after he left her for her so-called best mate he had been shagging behind her back, and then went on to marry. I laughed so hard when I heard that news- I hope the poor freak is enjoying imagining I'm jealous, I swear she got more enjoyment from that than she ever did from him. She must have been so gutted that it was her best friend, not me, who threw herself at him.
Oh Christ, yes!!! The two examples I mentioned above the boyfriends weren't only physically unattractive, they weren't nice people - both turned out to be total sleazebags for a start, and the one who later married the woman's best friend was a quite obvious sponging gold-digger. They also both had questionable personal hygiene and really didn't take good care of themselves... Again, it's projection- they settle for their partners out of desperation, and assume everyone else is as desperate as they are.
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yurble
Most people just aren't prepared to address their personal shortcomings and see jealousy as the issue. They'd rather project "man-stealing hussy" on you, and "thinks with his dick" on their partner, and view their jealousy as rational.
Projection is one of 'em. I've noticed this a few times from nymphos, and also from the kind of people who think that being single is the worst thing in the world and who would rather be in a bad relationship than try to "cope" on their own. They assume everyone else is as desperate as they are.
A now ex-friend of mine once got suspicious that her boyfriend was cheating on her with me- it turned out that he was cheating on her, but with a different friend (and two other women in addition). She had pointed the finger of blame at me because I was single at the time and therefore must have been desperately lonely and desperate for a man- obviously people in relationships never go after other people's partners(!).
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freya
Have definitely noticed this and most women are too dumb to realize if the situation calls for a dirty look or words it should be directed to their significant other, not the woman.
Internalised sexism is another. I made up with the aforementioned ex-friend after she found out the truth about her boyfriend's cheating and broke up with him. She admitted that she was coping with the heartbreak by blaming it all on the friend who slept with him, calling her a "whore". I asked her "Well, if he's slept with you and three other women, what does that make him?" Inevitably she took him back and I just gave up trying to talk to her.
I've known several other women who have chosen to blame "the other woman" taken their cheating boyfriends back- when friends do this it makes me want to bang my head against a wall. The old sexist idea that men don't willingly cheat with women, they are seduced by temptresses and are powerless to resist is a deeply-ingrained one...
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thundergirl85
Also, I think this site can sometimes get on a slippery slope with sexism.
Internalised sexism, yes- it's so ingrained we even see it here, of all places!
As for reasons for irrational jealousy, I think some people actually get off on the idea that people are jealous of them and trying to steal their partner.
I used to post on a forum where a lot of people knew each other in real life and would meet up regularly. One of my acquaintances from this forum developed a crush on another and stupidly asked me "So, what do you think of him? Do you like him? Should I ask him out?" I thought "Oh fuck, what do I say?"- I didn't like this guy at all but I wanted to be polite, so I said something along the lines of "Oh yeah, he's nice, I like him, go for it". She immediately looked like she was going to scratch my eyes out and I tried to row back with "Oh no, I didn't mean I like him in that way" but it was too late, she already had me down as a jealous man-stealer. She asked him out, he said yes, and she developed a habit of crowing to anyone who'd listen that I was jealous of her and was after her maaaaayun.
I left that forum a long time ago but the last time I looked she was still trying to smear me as some kind of desperate homewrecker- this was well over ten years after they first got together... and a few years after he left her for her so-called best mate he had been shagging behind her back, and then went on to marry. I laughed so hard when I heard that news- I hope the poor freak is enjoying imagining I'm jealous, I swear she got more enjoyment from that than she ever did from him. She must have been so gutted that it was her best friend, not me, who threw herself at him.
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ondinette
On a related note, I have always noticed women with the least attractive husbands or boyfriends are the most jealous. Has anyone else noticed this?
Oh Christ, yes!!! The two examples I mentioned above the boyfriends weren't only physically unattractive, they weren't nice people - both turned out to be total sleazebags for a start, and the one who later married the woman's best friend was a quite obvious sponging gold-digger. They also both had questionable personal hygiene and really didn't take good care of themselves... Again, it's projection- they settle for their partners out of desperation, and assume everyone else is as desperate as they are.
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