Article: I Regret Eating My Placenta

(there isn't words for what this article could possibly trigger!)

I Regret Eating My Placenta

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Moo
It’s not as gross as it sounds, but then, it couldn’t possibly be, right? As a first-time pregnant lady living in crunchy Santa Monica, Calif., next to a raw food restaurant and a seemingly oxymoronic homeopathic pharmacy, hiring a so-called celebrity placenta processor seemed to make sense. Even the hospital birth class had suggested the practice of eating one’s own placenta as a natural way to ward off postpartum depression. It’s normal. It’s natural. Even January Jones is doing it.

Well hot diggity damn! Why monitor your diet and nutritional needs via a nutritionist when you can blindly follow the sage advice of a celebrity?

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Moo
Additional potential benefits of a placenta pill included the ability to improve breast milk supply, increase energy and even prevent aging. Talk about a miracle pill! Who wouldn’t sign up for placentophagia, the scientific word (usually referring to animals) for the practice of eating one’s own placenta?

Why pay for vitamins or food when you can get the same benefits and drop big words to impress other parunts for the next 10 years?

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Moo
After our son’s birth, I was meticulous about what went into my body. I declined all pain medication stronger than ibuprofen, and I even stopped using deodorant, fearing the rumors were true that aluminum might seep into my breast milk. I was a cheerful and healthy new mother. So why did I gobble placenta ground with what the processor mysteriously referred to as “cleansing herbs”? Somehow, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Meticulous? A placenta filters the waste from the fetus, so you're eating someone else's waste that you also extinguished. The twice baked potato of human waste.

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Moo
But in my case, it was a terrible idea. Shortly after my first dose of two pills, I felt jittery and weird. By the next day, after just eight placenta pills, I was in tabloid-worthy meltdown mode, a frightening phase filled with tears and rage. This lasted another couple of awful days before my husband suggested that it wasn’t postpartum mommy madness finally making its appearance, but the hormone-and-goodness-knows-what-else-filled placenta pills.

No, in any case it is a terrible idea unless you are literally starving to death and have no other alternative. And if you are starving to death having a kid is a really stupid idea.

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Moo
Part of the reason I wanted to eat my placenta in the first place is that I am fascinated by the human body and all that it can do. The placenta is an incredible organ that deserves celebration. But — as with the appendix and other organs that the body tends to deem unnecessary — once it comes out, maybe it should stay out.

I'm fascinated by lightning, forests, oceans, outer space, lots of books and too many things to list yet somehow never felt compelled to put these in my mouth. Except books as an infant. The oral stage ends for most people at 21 months of age. Guess you'll get to experience the oral stage with your baby. Watch out for those laundry pods!

I regret reading this article.

Really. If moos wants to go all natchural, then rip out the toilet and dishwasher while they're at it.

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the noodler
I regret reading this article.

Really. If moos wants to go all natchural, then rip out the toilet and dishwasher while they're at it.

I agree. They are full of so called great ideas but never follow any of them through to their logical conclusion.

An acquaintance of mine was trying to convince me that climate change would soon place all of us in immediate peril. He explained how he drove a car that was more fuel efficient than mine. He chastised my opposition to carbon taxes. He accused me of not caring about the environment, the planet, and future generations, and that the earth would be much better off with people like him as opposed to people like me. I calmly asked him what his two children's carbon footprint would be compared to mine. Needless to say he got very pissed off.

right on studio54. hahahhahahahahhaha
climate is changing, and let this guy and others go on about it. I personally don't know if it is, it isn't, if it is how much we have to do with it from everything to nothing at all.
however, the ones that are rooting for it are giving the powers that be the excuse to do what finally needs to be done: one child policy and sterilization. If they don't do this to address this real problem then I think it falls under gubmint trying to extort yet more money.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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twocents
right on studio54. hahahhahahahahhaha
climate is changing, and let this guy and others go on about it. I personally don't know if it is, it isn't, if it is how much we have to do with it from everything to nothing at all.
however, the ones that are rooting for it are giving the powers that be the excuse to do what finally needs to be done: one child policy and sterilization. If they don't do this to address this real problem then I think it falls under gubmint trying to extort yet more money.

Well this person is definitely a nanny-state supporter and busybody schoolmarm who spends most of the conversation telling you what to do. And most of his demands are, of course, "for the children."

Is climate change real? I don't know. I guess so. But the real question is this... what to do about it if in fact we can do anything at alll? Are people going to stop heating their homes? Stop flying on planes? Will the folks in the far flung Houston suburbs stop driving their cars to work? How about those in Los Angeles? Atlanta? Chicago? Who among us will be willing to give up consumer goods? Refrigerated food? Antibiotics? Any form of advanced medical care? I will not be relinquishing these elements of modernity. Will you? Remember, ALL of these make an enormous impact on the environment.

Will the parents be willing to give up their hospital stays to give birth? How about vaccinations? What about the endless supply of plastic kindercrap for their children, most of which ends up in a landfill within a year or two of purchase? I have great skepticism that most self proclaimed environmentalist parents will do so.

This guy is overall a good dude but his rants willfully ignore the pink elephant of overpopulation sitting right in the middle of the room. Conversing with him is like being lectured by Keith Richards on the dangers of drug use.

Why do I keep reading this topic as "I Regret Eating My Parents"?

And why would you need to be told you might regret eating something your body is trying to dispose of, probably for a damn good reason?

I regretted eating chicken salad that had been out too long over the weekend, but at least that was an actual food item!

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kittehpeoples
Why do I keep reading this topic as "I Regret Eating My Parents"?

And why would you need to be told you might regret eating something your body is trying to dispose of, probably for a damn good reason?

You too?

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khan

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kittehpeoples
Why do I keep reading this topic as "I Regret Eating My Parents"?

And why would you need to be told you might regret eating something your body is trying to dispose of, probably for a damn good reason?

You too?

Me, too.

But frankly, eating your parents makes about as much sense as eating your placenta....

One does not need to read the article to understand the title. In fact, it's probably more enjoyable that way.

I picture a drunken night out that ends not in kebabs and regretted sex, but digging in to a medical waste container at the local hospital and eating the contents. I mean, how exactly does someone end up doing something so obviously stupid and regrettable if not under the influence of mind-altering substances?

HOORAY! She's a cannibal. And now she's all sad she was a nutjob.

I never understood why anyone would want to do that of all things.

I avoided the pain of reading the article.So I regret nothing! Ahahahah

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Shrieking babbies are the most effective birth control on earth.

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Dingo8YourBaby
HOORAY! She's a cannibal.

And an auto-cannibal at that. She ate an organ expelled from her own body.

I will never understand the mindset of someone who wants to eat their own placenta. I think I would rather eat just about anything besides that.

If they want to eat it, they should have to eat it fresh out of the womb immediately after birth, the way a dog does. Drying it and putting it in capsules is not "natural". Barf. The attention-whoring knows no bounds.

The placenta's role is really just a big filter between moo and calf, and basically caries all the same microbes that what is in the mouth.

So essentially it's basically a used cigarette filter, which has been sharted out after the loaf has been sluiced. Also remember too that amniotic fluid can contain babby shit (which contains e coli), and also some Moos are known to shit themselves during labour. This means that the much worshipped Placenta, is literally full of shit, that's been marinated in shit on the way out (as well as everything else that's in their squishy bits)... Oh, and don't forget about moos that have episiotomies!

And these Moos are pleased as punch to be chowing down on it...