"CF" men too "manly" to get snipped

http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-to-convince-your-husband-to-get-vasectomy-in-8-steps/

Another article from cracked. A female author is trying to convince her fiance to get snipped. Apparently he can't bring himself to do it due to some "chopping off his manhood" idea. Some commenters are telling her to think towards a tubal and that if he is uncomfortable with getting snipped then he probably wants kids down the road. She doesn't sound all that CF as she refers to adoption as "emotionally wrenching" and wouldn't want to have to face an abortion as Texas is so against it.

Mr. kittehpeoples came to me pre-snipped. He said it was one of the smartest things he ever did in his life.

The kind of guy who equates a vasectomy with "losing his manhood" strikes me as the same sort who won't neuter his male dog for the same reason (the dog is an extension of his own manhood). Bet they'd be happy to spay a female if they didn't want puppies, though, or let their girlfriends/wives undergo the much more invasive procedure of a tubal.

I have no respect for "men" like this, in case you couldn't tell.

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kittehpeoples
Mr. kittehpeoples came to me pre-snipped. He said it was one of the smartest things he ever did in his life.

The kind of guy who equates a vasectomy with "losing his manhood" strikes me as the same sort who won't neuter his male dog for the same reason (the dog is an extension of his own manhood). Bet they'd be happy to spay a female if they didn't want puppies, though, or let their girlfriends/wives undergo the much more invasive procedure of a tubal.

I have no respect for "men" like this, in case you couldn't tell.

My hubby had the V before I met him, and I was even more attracted to him when I found out. ITA that it's stupid of guys to think of having a procedure like that to prevent loaves is some kind of 'cutting off' of their manhood. Who really are the pussies, then?

Vasectomized men are sexxxy.

If a guy has problems with the snip affecting his "masculinity," then he's almost certainly not childfree. Guys who yammer on about how manly they are and all that horse shit are guys who want to prove their manliness via reproduction, regardless of what they might say. If a guy needs to be convinced to get the snip because he's worried that shooting blanks makes him less of a man, then odds are very good that he wants to breed at some point. Do you know how much hate this kind of article would get if it was a guy asking how to make his wife get a tubal?

I know some guys are scared of getting a vasectomy because they don't know what it entails. Some guys seem to think there's amputation involved when, in reality, it's become so minor of a procedure that it can be done in-office and no longer requires stitches. She could get a tubal or Essure, but it sounds like she doesn't want to because it's more invasive compared to a vasectomy. If she was determined to keep her uterus free of parasites, she'd "man" up (for lack of a better word) and get the fucking tubal, even if it is invasive.

I think a guy who does get snipped is far more manly than one who pusses out because of how it might affect his virility. Not just because of the whole thing of not wanting kids (automatic sexy points), but it involves sharp pointy things being stabbed into the guy's scrotum. Even with something to numb the pain and even if it's only the tiniest little puncture, I know a vast majority of men are great big babies about their nuts, so for a guy to overcome that fear and get his junk stabbed for the sake of sterility proves (to me, anyway) that he's actually manly.

A guy who is serious about not reproducing will want to get the snip so he doesn't have to worry about knocking anybody up. This whole "I won't be as manly without my seed" sounds like closet breeder-speak for "I want to keep my options open in case I want to put a baby in my wife."

And if the wife feels that giving up an unwanted child for adoption would be "emotionally wrenching," then it sounds like she's not very childfree either. In the end, she's trying to force her husband into something he absolutely does not want, and her doing shit like seducing him and then denying him sex until he agrees to get the snip is just a little fucked up. I think these are just two CF wannabes because both of them sound like they actually do want kids, but are just Childfree For Now^TM until a Happy Accident^TM occurs.

On the other hand, you can't dictate a person what to do with their body. A guy might not want a vasectomy for many reasons, for example, the manhood thing mentioned here (which is not necessarily related to not being CF) or because they are afraid of the procedure. I know because in my family men are horrified to even go to the doctor.
And if i really don't want kids, i want to be the one who gets fixed. I know it's more invasive for a woman but you never know what might happen in life so, basically, i'd like to be the one on the safe side. It also weeds out potential breeders.

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Cambion
If a guy has problems with the snip affecting his "masculinity," then he's almost certainly not childfree.

Or secure about his masculinity.

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kittehpeoples

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Cambion
If a guy has problems with the snip affecting his "masculinity," then he's almost certainly not childfree.

Or secure about his masculinity.

This needs to be a bumper sticker.

I knew this was going to be on bratfree.

There have been cases where the vasectomy heals itself which is 1 in 4000. With essure you have to still use birth control for three more months. Only 9.6% of women had the essure procedure get pregnant in a ten year period versus less than 1% with tubal.

To better the odds of not having kids, why not both a vasectomy and a tubal.

Life itself is a numbers game.

I take that back that a tubal scar is only tiny because that's how it's performed on new mothers still in the hospital. I'm just going by my mom's experience. The truth is for somebody who is totally outpatient, you get two small incisions-one on each side. It kind of reminds me of swallow tattoos.

Edit: I forgot about something that you can get a tubal or vasectomy reversal which will cost a pretty penny. A tubal reversal is around five grand while a vasectomy reversal cost can be between 5 to 15 grand which is the same cost of IVF. You are better off to adopt if you have a change of heart.

Rember nothing in life is permanent no exceptions.

Sounds like big manly man is afwaid. Irrational male fear is just another version of the manflu. If you're scared of having a surgical procedure done to your junk, just fucking say so. Don't frame it as "not wanting to lose your manhood."

Vasectomy does not take away your manhood in ANY way, shape or form. Your ability to maintain an erection and ejaculate remains intact. If anything, it enhances your sex life because you can now have sex without the fear of making an unwanted child. What's unmanly about taking control of your reproductive future instead of depending on a woman to do it and then bitching when she "traps" you with an oopsie baby? Unmanly is asking your woman to have a tubal ligation she doesn't want, which is far more invasive and dangerous than a vasectomy.

No, you're fucking chicken and too chicken to admit you're chicken. Ba-gawk!

I can respect people who are afraid of surgery and admit it. We cannot always control our fears, even if we recognize they are irrational. But the argument that it is unmasculine is pure breeder mindset, and a massive turn-off. Any man who defines himself by his ability to hypothetically or actually impregnate is not someone I'd be with.

Man using the argument "not wanting to lose manhood" sounds to me like Og in the making.

I think I already proved that I am 100% CF - I am getting a divorce due to my CF.
I had to start from 0 in my mid thirties, move away for a new job after being housewife for x years.

That being said, I could never get a tubal because I am extremely afraid of any procedures.
Even a simple shot is a procedure for me.

I believe there's more to this than what is thought of. (please don't take it as my support for the dudes).

Warning : the following contains a lot of gender stereotypes and sexist content - again, please don't take it as my support for those featured in this - it's merely my observations.

I believe that there is this line of thinking with men, where getting their nuts snipped is taking away their sexual freedoms and tipping the power balance. See, being unsnipped is to them like a 'get out of jail free' card, where they still have the 'option' of knocking up another woman, if the current relationship sours.

Getting snipped, basically means that their babby making days are over, and their fatherhood is limited to the current relationship. A lot of male ego is bolstered by their perception of highly fertile men, being able to sow their wild oats with as many women as possible. Yes, they can still screw around, but for some, shooting blanks is somehow lesser than having real bullets.

Then there's the whole power imbalance thing, as if getting snipped is the female's decision, it's basically the woman whom is 'controlling the man'. In some dudes, a woman should never control a dude. For some blokes, their genitals is their primary focus, and ties extensively into their sense of identity. The line of thinking would therefore be; a man is not a man, if the woman has the say when it comes to his genitals. Thus the guy is perceived as powerless, as the woman calls the shots on his nuts. Some guys think it's a personal weakness to hand over all their power to women.

Sigh, unfortunately, there are plenty of guys with this unenlightened and archaic thinking.

Again this is just my observations, and I apologize if I have offended.

Even if a man doesn't want to have kids (or have them right now), a lot of them seem to attach manliness/masculinity to their fertility and their junk. Maybe they don't want to use their sperm intentionally (or accidentally), but they like knowing they still have the ability to impregnate someone. I assume it's because the power to impregnate a woman is something exclusive to the male gender and part of what makes them specifically male. It's like how some women will claim they feel less womanly after a hysterectomy or mastectomy because femininity is often directly attached to the female-exclusive reproductive organs.

I kind of get it, in a way. But the thing is you don't become less of a man or a woman if you take measures to control your fertility. I think it makes you more of a person regardless of gender because it's empowering to have such bodily autonomy instead of being a slave to your biology. You can still be manly shooting blanks, much like how you can still be womanly without a uterus. Being a man or a woman is about so much more than simply being fertile, but since we live in such a breederific world, we're conditioned to believe that we are somehow sub-human if we can't or won't reproduce, which is why people will lose their fucking minds and spend five or six or more figures on fertility treatments, IVF or sterilization reversals all in their quest to prove something to a world that won't even give a fuck.

Like kittehpeoples said, men who feel as though they're losing their masculinity from getting the snip are probably highly insecure about their masculinity to begin with. They need to breed in order to prove to themselves and the rest of the world that they are not only virile, but fertile and STRAIGHT. Because having someone think you're barren and/or gay is a bad thing, apparently.

On an uplifting note, the guy who wrote this article gets it. http://www.vox.com/first-person/2017/1/4/13981320/vasectomy-feminism-pessimism

I got it just before I get married and I think it was the smartest thing I'd ever done too. In fact, I wish I'd gotten it done sooner.

This thread shows just how far ahead my grandfather's thinking was.

He and his wife had three children in a row, one died, and birthing the third (I think) nearly killed my grandmother in the late 1930's. To save my grandmother's life, he had the snip. He walked to the doctors, had the snip, and walked back ignoring the discomfort and the risk of infection (This was before antibiotics).

This was a man who had no problems with his masculinity, and although he was a parent, he put the health of my grandmother first.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

My in-laws are from the Deep South. They married young and had four kids in five years, then stopped.

I once commented to DH that somebody must have found the birth control after the last one. I recently learned that my FIL had indeed had a vasectomy. It's possible that my MIL couldn't find anyone to tie her tubes, even though she had four kids and that was plenty. She didn't meet the "120 rule" which said a woman had to be 30 with four kids before she could get her tubes tied.

My opinion of my FIL rose after learning this. Good for him for stepping up and taking care of business.

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This was a man who had no problems with his masculinity, and although he was a parent, he put the health of my grandmother first.

What a concept, right? I get so disgusted when I see males in war-torn countries (hello Syria) or in poverty with too many kids and a pregnant wife. They may not know where they are living tomorrow, but Og just has to stick it in his wife's hole and knock her up again because Og has needs.

Not wanting a surgery can be understood. No surgery is without a possibility of side effects. Each person may have their own set of circumstances. Using an argument that vasectomy somehow affects the manhood is completely unfounded. If I was in a relationship and it was between me and the other half to get a snip, I would use the law of averages and get snipped myself. Today.

It is a well known fact that fewer things are likely to go wrong with a vasectomy than a tubal ligation. If I had to choose, I choose vasectomy due to lower risk of complications. There is also a "bonus". Based on sources known to me, tubal ligation fails 0.1% of the time. There is also a possibility of ectopic pregnancy. Not fun. Vasectomy fails 0.01% of the time. Difference does not seem large, but the math says that vasectomy has 10 times less the failure rate than that of a tubal ligation. Numbers are convincing enough for me.

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bell_flower
What a concept, right? I get so disgusted when I see males in war-torn countries (hello Syria) or in poverty with too many kids and a pregnant wife. They may not know where they are living tomorrow, but Og just has to stick it in his wife's hole and knock her up again because Og has needs.

Refugee families with pregnant women (and/or children who are young enough to be conceived during the war) should never be granted asylum, IMO. If your situation is so bad that you have to leave the country, you have no business bringing more unwilling human beings into it, at least not until it gets better. If you're morally capable of doing something that vile, take responsibility for it by yourself.

I'm saying this as someone who was conceived and born during a time of war and poverty. Despite all that, we lived in a very safe area and were financially stable enough to get by without sacrificing anything that wasn't a luxury. If that weren't the case, my parents wouldn't have had me.

I don't have low self-esteem. That's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.
-Daria

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awesominatrix
Refugee families with pregnant women (and/or children who are young enough to be conceived during the war) should never be granted asylum, IMO. If your situation is so bad that you have to leave the country, you have no business bringing more unwilling human beings into it, at least not until it gets better. If you're morally capable of doing something that vile, take responsibility for it by yourself.

You're assuming that the women have a choice in the matter, and quite often they don't have the option to use contraceptives or to refuse sex.

But I'd be quite okay with denying the father asylum in that scenario, since you can be sure he had a choice in the matter.