Irate Moo Drop Kicks Birthday Cake

I never had one of those cakes. I think it would've been too cutesy even for me. But I remember when I turned 8 and I got a cake that had an honest ice cream cone on it (strawberry ice cream, natch), so there are pictures of me happily slurping away at the cone. My favorite cake that I got several times during childhood birthdays was a Costco (back when they were called Price Club) chocolate cake with a chocolate mousse filling and chocolate whipped cream frosting. I really liked it because it wasn't normal frosting (I don't like it, not even the kind I make as a professional baker) and I love chocolate mousse. I hope Costco still makes it because I want it for my 32nd birthday this year.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

There are only two birthday treats that stand out to me. The first was for my 17th birthday, my mom got me a Publix chocolate ganache cake. For those who live outside Fl / Georgia, Publix is a grocery store that is higher in price and quality than WalMart, but lower in price and quality than Target, or at least in my perception. The second was for my recent 21st birthday, when my mom got me a Publix cupcake. The cupcake was chocolate with raspberry filling and chocolate whipped frosting. It was delicious, very much like a black Forrest cake, only with raspberry in place of cherry. I loved it, as imo raspberries and their products taste better than cherries and theirs.

The other 19 birthdays of my life are mostly a blur. There are one or two presents that stick out, but other than that I can't remember much. So either I am getting very early onset Alzheimers, or kids care less than modern parents think they do.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

I got an unfrosted/undecorated homemade cake in the flavour of my choice. I don't remember being disappointed, as it was cake. My parents wanted us to have healthy food so sweets were not something I got very often. Plus I always thought my cake tasted better than those I got at other parties - they would have been grocery store cakes or box mixes and inevitably covered with too much frosting.