"I don't think I want to be a dad" January 23, 2017 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,196 |
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loser Dud, who obviously gave no thought to having a kid
I know how you feel! There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way.
I just had a baby Orly? I believe she shat the kid out, not you six days ago and have discovered in that short time that I'm going to be the kind of father that doesnt care much about their children. I've never had the fatherly instinct and having a baby hasn't changed that.If you never had any fatherly instinct, why did you have a kid?
The constant noise in the house, the increasing child clutter, the constant laundry running, the money spent, not to mention that when I look at him I don't feel anything at all. The upending of my life is intolerable.This dude is bitching about the money, and his loaf is only SIX days old? Just wait, you will be hemorrhaging money for the next 18 years
My wife and I have already had several arguments and the thing that nearly fell out of her is only six days old. I don't want this in my life in the least and it doesn't bother me.
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 24, 2017 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 804 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 24, 2017 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 25, 2017 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,965 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 25, 2017 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,363 |
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Cambion
he already said he'll lose everything and gain nothing by getting divorced
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 26, 2017 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 441 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 26, 2017 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,965 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 27, 2017 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,196 |
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Oh, and getting it over so they're flown the nest when they retire.
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 30, 2017 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,622 |
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kittehpeoples
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Cambion
he already said he'll lose everything and gain nothing by getting divorced
He'd gain not having to raise a kid. I know the financial responsibility would still be there, but both he and the kid would benefit. As Cambion points out, he's not doing the child any favors by sticking around.
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Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 31, 2017 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 31, 2017 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,363 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 31, 2017 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 31, 2017 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,978 |
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twocents
somewhere I heard someone say (and this was one of those mind changer assholes) who told the cf other 'we'll have one child and then we can go childfree'.
gah
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" January 31, 2017 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,965 |
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somewhere I heard someone say (and this was one of those mind changer assholes) who told the cf other 'we'll have one child and then we can go childfree'.
gah
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" February 01, 2017 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 344 |
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Cambion
Sounds like my ex's logic. "Duhhhhh, well since you want no kids and I want lots of kids, we'll have just one and call it even!" Didn't seem to quite sink in that one brat was one too many for me and it wasn't really a compromise.
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" February 01, 2017 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 282 |
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" February 04, 2017 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,622 |
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trance formation usa
The cycle of unhappiness > poor communication with your partner > resentment > self-pity will get you nowhere. And it's really hard to fucking sympathize with an adult person who wallows in his misery but does nothing to change it. I'd bet dollars to dog turds he's never sat down with his babymomma and told her how he's feeling, which is unacceptable. I'll never understand how people get to be married to someone but can't communicate how they feel. I tell my partner EVERYthing I'm feeling, even if I know it sounds irrational or is embarrassing. And she does the same. None of this keeping our darkest feelings and resentments from each other and spilling them on a public forum. Jeez.
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" February 05, 2017 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 172 |
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lurker-derp
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Cambion
Sounds like my ex's logic. "Duhhhhh, well since you want no kids and I want lots of kids, we'll have just one and call it even!" Didn't seem to quite sink in that one brat was one too many for me and it wasn't really a compromise.
When people say stuff like that I just laugh - I mean, we're not talking about how many donuts to buy, we're talking about a living, breathing, screaming, crying ball-and-chain here!
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" February 05, 2017 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,003 |
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randomcfchick
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trance formation usa
The cycle of unhappiness > poor communication with your partner > resentment > self-pity will get you nowhere. And it's really hard to fucking sympathize with an adult person who wallows in his misery but does nothing to change it. I'd bet dollars to dog turds he's never sat down with his babymomma and told her how he's feeling, which is unacceptable. I'll never understand how people get to be married to someone but can't communicate how they feel. I tell my partner EVERYthing I'm feeling, even if I know it sounds irrational or is embarrassing. And she does the same. None of this keeping our darkest feelings and resentments from each other and spilling them on a public forum. Jeez.
I see similar things when in a group of women of prime breeding years...they don't just bitch on public forums, they bitch to other women. They'll sit there and tear the husbands down, call them immature, lazy, hopeless, etc and expect me to nod in sympathy and understanding. They say these things with an air of "we're all women here, so we'll all get this because it's just how men are", and it just fucking floors me. Bitching about spouses is NOT an interesting or mature way to interact with your peers. Sure, sometimes I need to vent to my best friend about something that's bugging me. But that's what's going on. They are expecting that all the women in the group will swap lame/awful husband stories and bond over it or some shit. I just stand there thinking "Why are you telling ME? I barely know you!" and/or "Why aren't you talking to your husband directly about this?" Just because I have the same chromosomes doesn't mean I have such low standards for behavior and communication. And I don't badmouth my husband as social discourse.
I would LOVE to take a bunch of parents and have them fill out a survey about locus of control and examine the results. I bet a lot of the regretful, blame-shifting ones, as well as those who have no life outside of parenthood, tend to be heavily external locus of control.
Re: "I don't think I want to be a dad" February 11, 2017 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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Cambion
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somewhere I heard someone say (and this was one of those mind changer assholes) who told the cf other 'we'll have one child and then we can go childfree'.
gah
Sounds like my ex's logic. "Duhhhhh, well since you want no kids and I want lots of kids, we'll have just one and call it even!" Didn't seem to quite sink in that one brat was one too many for me and it wasn't really a compromise, though in an attempt to coax me into a mind change, he swore he'd make his parents raise said child for us so we could still have our own normal lives while still getting to brag about how we're parents. Apparently that was supposed to sound like such an attractive deal that I would have collapsed spread eagle and told him to knock me up right then and there.
I really don't know what the fuck he was trying to accomplish. What the fuck's the point of having kids that only one parent wants and that neither of you intend to actually raise?