Why do modern parents suck so much?

I know we have more than plenty of proof of their ineptitude, but I honestly wonder why it is that the parents of today do every possible thing wrong in regard to raising their kids. Seems like within the last fifteen or twenty years, parents have gotten worse at being parents in a big hurry.

• Rather than going to a hospital to give birth safely and with painkillers, many will bring unlicensed and uninsured midwives into their homes so they can give birth in a pool on the living room floor... and then the hospital bills from the predictable and avoidable complications wind up being higher than if they just went to the hospital normally.
• Vaccinations used to be a normal part of growing up in order to keep kids healthy (and I think most schools required it for enrollment), but now parents are much more in favor of neglecting their kids' health and risking them catching awful, painful, disabling and sometimes fatal preventable illnesses. Normal parents that actually care about their kids don't want them to get sick if they can help it.
• Parents used to actually discipline their kids. Now they just give in to tantrums at every turn. They give up without even trying. Or worse, they make far more work for themselves by engaging in "gentle discipline," convincing themselves that discussing their 17.5-month-old's feelings with them is an effective form of punishment. Some of these numbskulls think that raising their voice to their kids is as bad as cracking them across the head with a tire iron. Now it's just easier/trendier to not do anything at all as far as discipline goes and get the kid diagnosed with autism.
• Teachers were God in their classrooms 20 short years ago. You got in trouble in school, your parents always believed the teacher over you, even if the teacher was wrong. Then you got punished again once you got home. Now, teachers have to walk on eggshells when they talk to students about misbehaving because angry mommies will storm into the school to scream at them for daring to tell Junior anything other than what he wanted to hear.
• Rather than setting boundaries, parents let their kids rule the roost, deciding what they'll be having for dinner and where they'll be going on vacation. This carries over into life outside the home too. Kids raised without rules will go out into public believing they can do whatever they want whenever they want and they can't deal with it when that turns out to not be true. Then angry mommies will scream at the poor saps who are trying to establish boundaries and how dare they say NO to her precious angel!
• No shame whatsoever. If Junior decides to hurl himself on the floor at WalMart and throw a kicking, screaming, red-faced, vein-popping tantrum for 45 minutes, Moo won't move a muscle to try and stop it or vacate the store. I get that not giving a kid attention when it's clearly trying to get it can sometimes be an effective means of dealing with bad behavior, but I think it's more that these parents simply don't care.
• Parents using elimination communication and believing it's genuinely a practical potty training method. Because I'm sure Mommy will be there to follow Junior around his entire life with a Tupperware container in her hands waiting for facial cues so she can stick a bucket under him and catch his turds. Most sane parents have shit to do and don't want to be wiping asses for longer than necessary. Modern parents are content to keep their brats in shitrags for years and years or will choose to be a mobile toilet service because potty training requires too much effort.
• Defending their brats no matter what they do. Breeders of today will always take their kids' side no matter what. Even if their kid killed someone, they will always go on about what a good girl/boy their brat is and how the victim must have provoked their dumpling. I know parents kind of have to do that to an extent, but there is a limit.

Why are the parents of today raising the most maladjusted, unstable and overly sensitive generation of future adults? Laziness? Apathy? Trying to prove something? What happened to make parents so awful at what they do all of a sudden? I know bad parents have always existed, but they seem to be getting worse and worse every year to the point where bad parents have become the new normal parents.

I think part of it is going overboard with compensating for past trauma from excessively strict authoritarian parents. Other culprits include special snowflake SJW culture & laziness. The social favoritism of breeders, the nuclear famblee, & the parasites, also plays a role.

Birth control.

Before birth control, having children was largely out of a person's control. Kids were seen as an unavoidable inevitability. People had better perspective and could see kids as the annoying, undisciplined shits they are. It was understood that kids were largely bothersome and parents would actually make a concerted effort to raise their brats with the manners they inherently lack.

Now it's a choice to have children, so children have become the latest accessory. Children are touted as precious angels that can do no wrong. We are all supposed to feel blessed to be in their snotty, grubby presence.

I also think the rise of narcissism in society has a lot to do with this attitude. It may still be seen as tasteless to place yourself in the middle of the universe, but it's acceptable and encouraged to do so with your child. Society (as yet, largely) won't accept narcissistic individuals, so people get their narcissistic supply through their kids. "My kid is perfect." "My kid is special." "My kid can do no wrong." "My kid is the center of the universe - of course he can ruin everyone's public experience by being a loud, shrieking pest!"

Double post.

Sorry to all the good boomers out there, but I'm going to say that a significant majority of blame has to be placed on the ridiculous nonsense that came out of the flower-power age. Yes, there have been further generations that have been raised with this nonsense, and they have continued the idiotic parenting styles... Again apologies to the decent boomers here and elsewhere, and let's focus on the 'thought bubbles' of the crunchy granola set;

(Sorry Camb, not criticizing - just mimicking their stupid idiocy)

• Natural birfing without, you know, professionals trained to save babbies when complications occur... But oh, no can't kill the deluded idea of birfing with bambi and cartoon disney tweety birds!
• Anti-Vax - well, you know Big Pharma is the new 'the man'... and then why put Evil Pharma chemicals in your brat's veins when, Nachural substances are better... even if Cyanide, Anthrax and Ricin can kill thousands, but it's still better than Big Farma
• Can't discipline kids - lest they become conformists, and we can't have that!...After all it's far better to have a free range sociopathic pet torturer, than a dreaded conformist!
• Teachers - Bah, just another minion of a fascist state, indoctrinating them into Nazi conformity. An un-learned kid is far better equipped to handle the real world - even if they're functionally illiterate and innumerate.
• Boundaries - bah Conformity!
• Shame - that's Not Shame - it's junior expressing himself - we should praise and encourage their creativity and expressiveness.
• Why conform them to society - it's nachural for a kid to crap on the floor... again - it's them expressing their individuality and rights.
• Brat's are pure - therefore are capable of no harm at all. Everything they do is purity, even when they cut the tails off the neighbour's pets!

I would guess some of these behaviors are manifestations of narcissism / cognitive dissonance.

• The home birthing is an example of the former, I think. Home birthers want either to boast to the herd about having the most difficult labor, or want everything to be their way. There are always moos trying to induce labor earlier or otherwise alter things, because being just a moo isn't good enough for them.
• The anti-vaxxers are one of two breeds, either lazy or having cognitive dissonance. They are either too lazy to parent their kids i.e. force them to get vaccinated despite their screaming fits,or they are having cognitive dissonance. The idea that they haven't accomplished anything makes them uncomfortable, so they try to puff themselves up and get high on the idea that they know better than not only their doctor, but also the CDC and all of western medicine.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

Also entitled upper middle class first world syndrome. These cows have no worries and need to do something to make themselves more interesting and/or accomplish something.

My grandmother was an immigrant and the first in her family to give birth in a hospital, her mother and brother died in a homebirth. She was damn proud to give birth in a clean hospital with an actual real life doctor delivering her children. Under no circumstances did she ever question a doctor, teacher, or nun. If she was alive today she would tell the stupid cows that they should get on their knees and thank doG that they can give birth in a US hospital.

"Why do modern parents suck so much?"

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stillwaters
Birth control.

Before birth control, having children was largely out of a person's control. Kids were seen as an unavoidable inevitability. People had better perspective and could see kids as the annoying, undisciplined shits they are. It was understood that kids were largely bothersome and parents would actually make a concerted effort to raise their brats with the manners they inherently lack.

Now it's a choice to have children, so children have become the latest accessory. Children are touted as precious angels that can do no wrong. We are all supposed to feel blessed to be in their snotty, grubby presence.

I also think the rise of narcissism in society has a lot to do with this attitude. It may still be seen as tasteless to place yourself in the middle of the universe, but it's acceptable and encouraged to do so with your child. Society (as yet, largely) won't accept narcissistic individuals, so people get their narcissistic supply through their kids. "My kid is perfect." "My kid is special." "My kid can do no wrong." "My kid is the center of the universe - of course he can ruin everyone's public experience by being a loud, shrieking pest!"

These are some of the most insightful observations I've ever seen on Bratfree, especially the ones in bold. Hats off to Stillwaters. Maybe the mods could "sticky" this thread.

and I repeat, the near hysteria of these parents and parenting styles stillwaters mention, this seems to have escalated along with the increase in the effectiveness of birth control. because women can and do say 'no' to kids the advertising, and every other pressure to breed has increased almost exponentially.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I recently bought a (second hand) John Rosemond book about parenting. I read a lot of different topics.

John Rosemond is a licensed psychologist in the state of North Carolina. He is controversial and I wanted to read what HE himself wrote, not how he has been quoted. He is a religious person and I am not, but I have to say his book made a lot of sense and it was thought provoking.

His main reasons for why things are so fucked up with child rearing and adult products of "modern" child rearing: 1. modern psychology; 2. the pharmaceutical approach to child raising, i.e. don't discipline your kids, just drug them; and 3. the idea that children are now viewed as inherently good and the child-raising theories of the day coddle them, prolong their problems, and lead to self-centered adults who don't respect anybody or anything.

I totally get #3. I'm not a follower of the Bible, but you don't have to be to believe that humans are not naturally good--they have to be taught to be good. Small children are uncivilized, selfish, self-centered creatures. They are a wellspring of need, greed and ME ME ME. Unabated, they will grow into selfish little shits. (Depending on personality of course.) It makes sense that you need to teach them they are not the center of the universe, or regret it later.

This is totally contrary to psychology today: attachment parunting, gentle discipline, the dreaded "self esteem" bullshit where kids are praised simply for existing.

I want to make an addition to the modern psychology mention.

I have two psych degrees. There are a lot of disorders we just can't do shit about but you're not allowed to say that. You have to say no one is hopeless and lie about helping people's kids. I think this gives people false hope and doesn't help anyone. People get to use, the kid is in therapy, even if it never help, to excuse everything.

So what it boils down to is that in 2017, we're generations removed from when parenting actually required effort and there were hard and fast rules that could not be deviated against. Now people have too many choices and freedoms in how to raise kids and demand to have those recognized, no matter how those choices may negatively affect those around them, including their own children. Starlady regaled us with a saga of a dipshit who put her desires for a stunt birth above the wellbeing of her own child, which resulted in her child's disability and premature death. We have anti-vax assholes who have infected babies too young to be vaccinated and those with compromised immune systems and destroyed the herd immunity that protected the vulnerable. Breeders no longer have to put in an effort to even cook a meal; there are prepackaged convenience items that can be thrown into an oven or prepped on the stove in under ten minutes and can do a load of laundry in the same amount of time.

Basically, the majority problems and issues of yore have been removed thanks to medical, technological, and sociological progress, so breeders have to create problems to continue to justify their breeder tax breaks and special treatment in the workplace and society.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

There may also be factors such as society never doing anything in moderation, but rather the extremes. Child-rearing prior to the last 1/2 century was about the immediate family ruthlessly beating (metaphorically and literally) the brat out of the kid. There was then a social paradigm shift, and it's flipped to the extreme opposite of indigo neglectful child rearing where it's now the assumed responsible of state and society, instead of the lazy parents.

I would say that after a time, society will get sick of these undisciplined brats turning into sociopathic adults, and will flip it back to what it was, albeit a more less ruthless type.

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Birth control.

Before birth control, having children was largely out of a person's control. Kids were seen as an unavoidable inevitability. People had better perspective and could see kids as the annoying, undisciplined shits they are. It was understood that kids were largely bothersome and parents would actually make a concerted effort to raise their brats with the manners they inherently lack.

Now it's a choice to have children, so children have become the latest accessory. Children are touted as precious angels that can do no wrong. We are all supposed to feel blessed to be in their snotty, grubby presence.

In spite of all the birth control options available today (well, for women at least) and considerable proof that children are not a necessity, there are still a LOT of people out there who honestly don't realize that children are optional. Many men and women still seem to think that having kids is "just what you do" when you become an adult (or that you "have to" have the kid if you get knocked up), so the mindset you mentioned does still exist... just maybe not as much as it did a few decades ago.

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I think part of it is going overboard with compensating for past trauma from excessively strict authoritarian parents.

I think this is what comprises the roots of the gentle discipline movement, though not even necessarily due to strict parents. I think the current generation of young (20s-30s) parents are mentally disturbed and have held grudges against their own totally normal parents for not giving them their own way all the time or for spanking them as kids. So the GDers want to prove to their parents and to the world that you can raise a child without "violence" (without spanking, time-outs, grounding, or any type of effective tried-and-true discipline). If the kid happens to behave itself after they utilize one of their gentle "methods," they sing gentle discipline's praises as a successful, non-violent means of child rearing. More commonly, if their gentle methods fail miserably, they're all too ready to shrug and say their child is very highly spirited or autistic. One huge factor today's parents are guilty of is total blamelessness - NOTHING is ever their fault. If their kid is a fuck-up, an asshole or a douchebag, it's someone else's fault... but never the parents' faults. Obviously parents from a couple generations ago were full of shit too, but it seems that each subsequent generation has been much more full of shit than the last.

It also doesn't help that people have come to generally accept shitty child and breeder behavior, though I have seen the tide slowly beginning to turn against heifer and calf alike as people become less inclined to take their shit. Breeders have no incentive to make their kids behave anymore because there are no more expectations or "rules" in regard to proper child behavior. Why make the effort to ensure your kid isn't a total asshole when you don't have to?

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My grandmother was an immigrant and the first in her family to give birth in a hospital, her mother and brother died in a homebirth. She was damn proud to give birth in a clean hospital with an actual real life doctor delivering her children. Under no circumstances did she ever question a doctor, teacher, or nun. If she was alive today she would tell the stupid cows that they should get on their knees and thank doG that they can give birth in a US hospital.

This definitely factors into the increased desire for "natural" births and anti-vaccination. Today's bizzy mommies never found themselves in situations where they didn't have access to a hospital and had no choice but to give birth the old-fashioned way and risk dying from any of half a million possible complications, nor have they ever had to see the devastating effects (temporary or permanent) of illnesses that we can now prevent with vaccines. No Moo of today has ever had to see her kid in an iron lung, or see her kid crippled by polio, so they think that shirking these things that have been saving the lives of breeders and kids alike for decades makes them edgy and hip.

I swear it's like society is devolving in regard to parenting and expectations about parenting. But eventually, I think we're going to hit a wall and start going forward again and expecting parents to actually do their jobs because people can only be so tolerant for so long.

Another possible factor is that people tend to overcompensate in reverse for the mistakes of their own parents.

For example, many Generation X kids felt ignored and neglected by their parents. They were the first generation with a lot of "latchkey" kids who had working mothers and/or divorced parents. They felt Mom and Dad were much more interested in their own adult lives than the kids. So now a lot of them overcompensate by being too interested and involved in their own kids' lives. That is why we have "helicopter" parents who won't let their kids grow up and people who insist on dragging their brats with them everywhere.

I am from Generation X, but my parents were the opposite of most. They were overly involved and overprotective. Their attention felt intrusive and critical, not loving. So if I had kids I might overcompensate by being too permissive and letting them do shit they shouldn't. Maybe this is what is going on with Millennial parents, who were much more likely to grow up overprotected.