More goodness from Abby's bounty: Moo gets accidentally pigged up knowing children strain her already rocky marriage

Saw this horse shit in the paper. As usual, my comments are in red.

Quote

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for seven years, and my husband and I have had our ups and downs. He never thought he would have kids until he met me, and now we have two. Translation: He didn't want kids, settled and she probably bitched and nagged for kids until he finally just gave in to shut her up. After our second child, we agreed that we were done having children. So why didn't one or both of you get sterilized? Why is a vasectomy or a tubal never something that crosses someone's mind when they claim they're done breeding? I was OK with it because it seemed after each child our relationship became strained. So then why in the fuck did you have a second kid? If the first one put such a strain on what seems to be an already strained marriage, why do it again when you know it's going to push you both to your limits?

Recently we reached the point of deciding whether we would either separate or work harder on our marriage I'm sorry, but if you need to put "work" into a relationship, it's probably because you're with someone who you're not compatible with in the first place. We decided to stick it out. The problem is, while we were in the process of getting back together, I became pregnant again. I'm afraid to tell him because I know how stressed he gets. I'm afraid it will be too much for him, and he will cut himself off emotionally from me and the kids.

This wasn't planned. We were using protection, but getting an abortion is something I could never do. So they separated, from the sounds of things. And she says they were using protection, but the question is were they using something that's actually effective? And were they using it correctly? "Protection" is usually breeder-speak for "pulling out" or "natural family planning." And why exactly can Moo not abort? Unless she lives in a country where abortion is severely restricted or full-on illegal, there is absolutely nothing stopping her from getting one. She's simply refusing to. I know this child will make things more difficult, but this child is a part of me and the man I love. "More difficult" is an understatement. She said herself earlier that she doesn't even want to tell Duh she's in-pig because he might not be able to handle the stress of more Blessed News^TM and it might be the straw that breaks the camel's back and drives him off for good. It seems like abortion is the most practical and sensible option in this case when their marriage is hanging by a thread and they've already got two little sperm-n-egg omelets making their lives hell. How do I tell my husband I am pregnant in a way that may make the news easier to take? Don't tell him, get an abortion and get your stupid ass sterilized. -- AT A LOSS FOR WORDS

And here's Abby's response:

Quote

DEAR AT A LOSS: You should have told your husband about this the day you thought you ''might'' be pregnant. You can announce the news by telling him that this baby is a symbol of your love and reconciliation, but whether he will accept this explanation is questionable. LOL yeah I'm sure that'll melt his heart. Sounds suspiciously like a new take on He'll Love It Once It Gets Here^TM. You already know the news will not be warmly received, so get it over with before your pregnancy starts to show. I wouldn't be surprised if she intentionally waited until she started showing to tell him so she "can't" abort. Then she'll be completely, utterly shocked when Duh leaves her for good.

---

If your marriage is already failing (unless the kids are infants, they will pick up on that tension) and you know having kids puts heavy strain on that marriage AND severely stresses your husband out AND you already decided you were done having brats, WHY do you even need to ask what to do in the event of a surprise pregnancy? Get that shit sucked out and decide if the marriage is worth trying to salvage because it really sounds to me like it's not. And "he never thought he would have kids" sounds a lot like "he didn't want kids," but in typical idiot fashion, they probably never discussed children before marriage and they just let the chips fall where they may fertility-wise, which is how someone who "never thought he would have kids" wound up with two of them and each one of them stressed him out more than the last.

I don't feel sorry for either of the parents since they're both voluntarily staying in a shitty situation. They simply aren't compatible with each other and rather than cutting their losses and going their own separate ways permanently, they sound like they're staying together for their kids and trying to force a marriage to work that simply won't. Absolutely no one in this situation is going to come out on top. The parents will both be miserable and probably are both having or will be having affairs and the kids are going to grow up in a dysfunctional home with parents who hate one another (and I'm sure there's plenty of verbal abuse for them to listen to and/or be involved in). And if the kids cause Duh so much stress just by existing, there's no doubt in my mind that he takes that stress out on them because it's their "fault" he's so wound up.

"Hey honey, the completely preventable accident symbol of our love and reconciliation just pulled a knife on his teacher because of his terrible home life. Also, the symbol will need braces, so let's talk about a second mortgage. Aren't you just glad the symbol has outgrown screaming, puking, shitting its pants and keeping us up all night? I get all choked up just thinking about our little symbol."

"He never thought he would have kids until he met me" means he didn't want kids and capitulated to your demands. How's that working out for you?

I would rather die alone than decide to stick out a relationship. The language she uses makes her situation sound horrible. I bet a baby will totally fix it.

Guarantee she will also act as if he is a terrible man for "leaving her because she was pregnant" or "making me choose between him and the baby". The guy never wanted kids, he did not really change his mind once the first two came since she admits it strained the marriage, and he sure as heck won't want this one.

If she keeps the baby, and he is on the hook for child support, he will at least serve as a cautionary tale for all CF that don't get vasectomies.

I agree that he probably didn't want kyds, then did the typical spineless thing and capitulated to Wifey's demands.

The only people I feel sorry for in this situation are the kids. They didn't ask to be born in the middle of two people who are not suited to each other.

WTF is wrong with these freaking Breeders and people who claim to be "CF" who get together and proceed to make each (and resultant womb products) miserable? MOVE ON AND FIND SOMEONE MORE COMPATIBLE. OR BE ALONE. Earth will not fall of its axis if you are alone, and it's better to be alone than to wish you were alone.

There are 7B+ people on Earth. Find someone who feels the way you do about kyds, instead of badgering your current partner. Sheesh.

This is why I keep saying, why don't more people get spayed and neutered and there should be a campaign for it. Drew Carey should say "have yourselves spayed or neutered!"

I will never understand people like her? How do you accidentally have a baby? You accidentally drop a plate, or accidentally get paint on a baseboard, but you don't accidentally have a baby.

"Getting an abortion is something I could never do,"

....because you are a brainwashed idiot that needs to retake high school bio or A&P. Saying you 'could never do,' something implies it is morally reprehensible. Getting rid of a sack of cells isn't morally reprehensible. But attempting a PNA is, and you /know/ moo won't want the kids if duh grows a brain and walks, as I suspect he might. Duh didn't want kids, never did. No, he didn't change his mind, he was just too scared to stay single or too much of a pansy to tell moo to shut the fuck up about kids.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

Cambion, don't forget the ever nauseating crap 'baby saves marriage'
gag me with a spoon on that one..

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Quote
bell_flower
WTF is wrong with these freaking Breeders and people who claim to be "CF" who get together and proceed to make each (and resultant womb products) miserable? MOVE ON AND FIND SOMEONE MORE COMPATIBLE. OR BE ALONE. Earth will not fall of its axis if you are alone, and it's better to be alone than to wish you were alone.

[Raises hand] Testify! Left husband in 1994 and never regretted it for a minute. The worst day being by yourself is better than a good day being married to someone you're incompatible with.

The likely end result is the husband decides it's better to just leave, will likely pay child support but will happily relinquish primary custody to her and barely show up to take the kids for his share of custody, she gets to be a single moo to three kids while he gets a new wife.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

and of course, the biggest losers will be the kids... because they are kids.. and may want their dad. (perhaps). some may well not. bring a kid into the world when you know the guy isn't gonna give a crap or wanna be involved...

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

"Accidents" in this day and age are nigh impossible, really. I don't think she necessarily "oopsed" the guy...but as I've said before, people's level of vigilance about birth control really correlates directly with how they view pregnancy. She does not view a third baby as unacceptable, so I am not surprised that they screwed up.

I, too, am wondering why people who know they're really done having kids don't get sterilized. I mean, I know some parents who were smart enough to snip after a kid or two. So it does happen. But why isn't it more common? I dunno. I think some people see it as cold, or anti-baby, or something. They don't want more kids, but they have it in their heads that sterilization is just too harsh. Personally I think it's smart and cost-effective. Plus nothing else says "done" like surgery. Easy way to find out where someone REALLY falls on the baby contiuum: "I'm booking a consultation with a doctor about gettings snipped".

Quote

They don't want more kids, but they have it in their heads that sterilization is just too harsh.

The most common "reasoning" I've seen among breeders refusing to get sterilized is that while they claim to be totally done having kids, they don't want to completely eliminate their ability to have more. In other words, they aren't done having kids and want to keep all possible doors open in case they decide on a whim to have another loaf in the future when the youngest one stops being cute and helpless. Maybe they will have one, maybe they won't. A lot of them also let Gawd decide their family size and see sterilization as being against Gawd's will.

If Moo fails to flush out the clump, Duh will probably have a meltdown and then leave. Or he'll continue being a pussy and just take all his stress and frustration out on Wifey and the kids because some people honestly think it's better to be miserably married than it is to be alone. If these two were really serious about not having more kids (yet refusing to get sterilized), then they should have been using shitloads of birth control faithfully. If I had to guess, Duh left it up to Moo to handle the birth control because bawwwww condoms don't feeeeeel goooooood and she probably took the pill half-assedly (forgot it all the time, never took it at the same time two days in a row, etc.)

She'd best put on her thinking cap and decide what matters more to her: her potential kid or her husband. This unplanned "symbol of their love" (which sounds like it was conceived during a separation) is going to most likely be the final nail in the marital coffin. Her husband will not react positively to the Blessed News^TM and with their marriage already on thin ice, this new loaf will probably put too much stress on the guy on top of his other two unwanted brats. She can either stick it out in her shitty, minimally-functional marriage and get an abortion or keep her "symbol," risk driving her husband off and wind up a single mother of three. I get it - protection fails, shit happens, but a contraceptive failure doesn't mean that the product of said failure absolutely has to be born. We have abortion for a reason - fucking USE IT. The last thing these two idiots need is another kid.

Let's face it, though. Moo wrote to Abby in the hopes of having Abby tell her some magic miracle way to break the news to her husband and not have him leave her. We already know precisely what's going to happen: she'll announce her pignancy, refuse to abort, Duh will leave or stay and treat her and the kids like shit and then she'll wonder why.

By refusing to abort, she's choosing a potential baby over her actual husband. That alone would infuriate and hurt me beyond words. He should dump her ass so fast her head spins, and sign away all rights to the baybee. AND THEN GET A FUCKING VASECTOMY AND TAKE CONTROL OF HIS REPRODUCTIVE FUTURE. If these two stay together and are miserable, that will only make life hellish for the innocent kids.

He's made his wishes clear and she agreed to stop having kids, yet she hasn't held up her end of the bargain. Therefore, she's in the wrong. Kick her to the curb, baby and all.

Quote
trance formation usa
By refusing to abort, she's choosing a potential baby over her actual husband. That alone would infuriate and hurt me beyond words. He should dump her ass so fast her head spins, and sign away all rights to the baybee. AND THEN GET A FUCKING VASECTOMY AND TAKE CONTROL OF HIS REPRODUCTIVE FUTURE. If these two stay together and are miserable, that will only make life hellish for the innocent kids.

He's made his wishes clear and she agreed to stop having kids, yet she hasn't held up her end of the bargain. Therefore, she's in the wrong. Kick her to the curb, baby and all.

I agree that choosing a potential stranger over a real, live, here-and-now spouse is harsh and speaks volumes about that person's character. If she keeps this baby, she's torpedoing her marriage.

The guy can't just "sign away all rights to the baby" unless there's another parents who wants to adopt it. He is on the hook for child support, and even if he just pays every month and never sees the kid again, that kid could show up on his doorstep if something happens to the mom.

Agree that the guy needs to man up and get a vasectomy for sure.

Quote

By refusing to abort, she's choosing a potential baby over her actual husband. That alone would infuriate and hurt me beyond words.

I agree too, and it sucks even more because that is an insanely common thing that both male and female breeders and wanna-breeders will do. Consider the retards who get pregnant and find out they have cancer and choose to forego chemotherapy/radiation so they can sluice, and by the time they have the kid, their cancer has metastasized to every organ in their bodies and all their partner can do is watch them die... all because Moo put an unborn loaf over their partner's desire to continue having a partner. Or consider two people who have been together for a really long time and one of them up and decides they want kids and the other doesn't. I can only imagine how much it hurts for someone to say that kids that don't even exist mean more to them than ten, fifteen, twenty or more years spent with their significant other.

I know women get the final say in whether or not a kid is going to be born, but I think if they're in a committed relationship, they should at least take their partner's feelings into consideration in regard to said kid. Who exactly is it going to benefit for a kid to be born into a home where only half of their family wants them to exist? And when the unwilling parent expresses resentment, detachment and disinterest in that child, it could lead to the willing parent also resenting the kid for driving the other parent away emotionally (not that it's the kid's fault, but that's precisely who will get blamed). I think anyone would be heartbroken if their partner basically says that a potential child meant more to them than their significant other.

And yeah, I know, Moos feel an attachment to the thing growing inside them because it's part of them and all that shit. But just because something is growing in their bodies doesn't mean they know that fetus like they know their significant other. A fetus has no personality, no traits, no sentience, nothing that makes it distinguishable or unique. To choose a parasitic blob over the person you've known and allegedly loved for years, been through heaven and hell together with them, laughed and cried together, seen one another at their worst and their best shows where that other person truly stands on the piggo's priority list. A loaf should never take precedent over a spouse (unless the spouse poses a threat to the kid). Your partner was there first and they actually had to earn your love. The clump just had to show up and suddenly all that love gets re-routed to it. How's that right?

I have several cysts growing inside my body, but somehow don't feel attached to them...maybe there's something wrong with me?