Delegate teaching your kid manners too

I know there were finishing schools and etiquette schools back in the day, but still, in this day and age, I just view this as another way to delegate discipline and parenting to someone else and another official "activity" junior can be sent to instead of being a real parent. Have others do the parenting, so you never have to be a big boring meanie, then you will remain Bratley's best friend long into adulthood forever w/o any resentment from his childhood.


Delegate parunthood away!

A pretty worthless concept.

This crap is typically the purview of white upper-class parunts. Pay some money, get Junior out of your hair and make sure he knows the difference between a salad fork and a regular fork. Of course, if Junior later vandalizes a vacant house while "partying" with his friends or gang-rapes a girl with other members of the football team, said parunt can be perplexed because they "raised Junior right."

Society would be better served by parunts who raise their kids to be respectful of authority and to be mindful of other people. That's best taught be example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPWBaNQxVWI

That was an old Red Rose Tea commerical from the 70's that I remember, the kids act very upperclass, I guess because they are. I think todays parents want their kids upstairs at Downton Abbey with their British tea

Quote
bell_flower


Society would be better served by parunts who raise their kids to be respectful of authority and to be mindful of other people. That's best taught be example.

Gosh, we are SO far from that now. Now it's no one can tell you what to do, and all other people should be mindful of YOU. And, don't forget your feelings matter most, and always look for the "offense" to you.

I just assumed that manners were no longer taught at all. My niece and her husband are big into "permissive parenting," and consequently their six-year-old is an insufferable asshole. In fact he's the reason I completely reversed course in deciding against ever having children. If I had a child like him I'd probably be jailed for beating him like a rented mule. I'd also be miserable for having a kid who's the personification of assholery.

Quote

Gosh, we are SO far from that now. Now it's no one can tell you what to do, and all other people should be mindful of YOU. And, don't forget your feelings matter most, and always look for the "offense" to you.

And take your offended self to social media, where you can record every moment of the world not revolving around you. And if it's a case where your chyyyyld gets hurt, you'll get thousands of ass pats instead of someone saying, "toughen up, Snowflake."

Holding an etiquette class for brats is treading some seriously thin bordering on non-existent ice with all the easily-offended mommies and social justice warriors we have now. If a parent is dumb enough to shell out four figures to let their little mongrel sip tea and pick at tiny sandwiches, they're going to bitch about every single aspect of the "class" and I'm sure plenty will be screaming for refunds or threatening to sue over imagined slights or because the hostess/teacher is trying to stifle their brats' Indigo creativity by trying to teach them to not act like animals.

Just another way for parents to blame someone else for their ill-mannered asshole kids. Because, as we all know, parents are never ever responsible for the way their kids turn out... unless, of course, the kids wind up being highly successful. Then that was all because of Mommy and Daddy's hard work. But if the kid winds up being a failure or a criminal, well that must be from those damn video games he plays!

A kid with tolerable behavior is the exception rather than the rule because parents are too lazy to do the job they signed up for. They give their laziness cutesy, socially acceptable names like "natural consequences" or "gentle discipline" or "he has autism" so they can act like there's a reason for their lack of parenting when it really just boils down to, "I don't care if my kid is an asshole and you're going to like it!" Most modern parents just want the title of "Mommy/Daddy" and the ability to flood social media with photos of their ugly brats without actually putting in the shit work that goes with the Kodak moments. Basically, they become that one co-worker who clocks in, hides in the stock room for their entire shift, lets everyone else pick up their slack and then gets pissed off when someone calls them out on it. But oh, they still deserve to get paid for pretending to work.

I was never sent to cotillion or etiquette class. I was raised by good old Southern parenting. My sister and I were the kids getting compliments and free drinks due to our good behavior and manners. I cringe when I see kids acting the way they do these days because I know I would have gotten my ass beat to hell and back if I ever acted like that.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

Quote

I was never sent to cotillion or etiquette class. I was raised by good old Southern parenting. My sister and I were the kids getting compliments and free drinks due to our good behavior and manners. I cringe when I see kids acting the way they do these days because I know I would have gotten my ass beat to hell and back if I ever acted like that.

Same here on how I was raised.

Speaking of "if I had ever acted like that," DH and I were walking through our neighborhood the other night. We are fortunate to have paved walking trails. A Moo and her kid were walking, looked like a Grandmoo type was there too, and the kid, who looked to be around 4, laid down in the middle of the path. We walked around him and Moo gave us that ineffectual smile and said, "oh, sorry, you know kids."

And of course, the negotiation was in process before we got there, and the Moo was speaking to her kid in that grate-on-your-godamnn-nerves, gentle-discipline speak, "Snotleigh, you need to get up because a doggie is coming...." "Snotleigh, Mommy needs you to get up now, please."

After we passed them I said to DH, "never in a million years." I would have been told I needed to get up now and had I not complied the first time, I would have been unceremoniously jerked up by the arm and probably scolded with maybe a swat on the butt if I was being particularly obstinate. He knew exactly what I meant because he was raised the same way.

I see these stupid parents who allow their kids to rule their lives with their whims and I think, what dumbasses.

Quote
bell_flower

Society would be better served by parunts who raise their kids to be respectful of authority and to be mindful of other people. That's best taught be example.

Problem is we've few 'examples' to give kids these tools.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Tea and salad forks? I just want someone to teach the little beasts not to scream at Target.

Quote

Society would be better served by parunts who raise their kids to be respectful of authority and to be mindful of other people. That's best taught be example.

The problem is that the very first authority figures in a kid's life is his parents, and when the parents do a shit job of raising their kids, then those kids grow up thinking authority is a joke. The kid grows up with no boundaries or routine and the parents just throw their hands up and decide they don't feel like dealing with it. Then, big shock, when the kid goes to school, they don't listen to their teachers at all and the parents still refuse to do anything about it because it would involve them actually getting off their asses and parenting.

This is the norm for the average modern child, so it doesn't surprise me that none of them of any age have even a shred of respect for authority. Why would they when they've been raised to think their primary authority figures are their friends?

Quote

The kid grows up with no boundaries or routine and the parents just throw their hands up and decide they don't feel like dealing with it.

The word "discipline" receives a bad rap due to hang-wringers, but it means so much more than punishing bad behavior. I like this definition, courtesy of the internet:

"Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement."

Nobody ever accomplished anything without being disciplined. It means doing things you may not want to do for long term gain. It means delaying gratification. It means applying yourself. It means not being lazy.

Quote

Then, big shock, when the kid goes to school, they don't listen to their teachers at all and the parents still refuse to do anything about it because it would involve them actually getting off their asses and parenting.

It all comes down to being lazy, being undisciplined, wanting Junior to like you, not wanting to do the hard stuff, buying into "modern parunting" which says there are no bad kids, only ineffective parunting methods. Of course the "effective" parunting methods involve psychologists, "re-directing," drugs, giving "alternate choices," all code words for not allowing your kid to experience the pain and consequences of bad choices.

Side story/tangent: I work with parents who despite being educated, are just lazy when it comes their kids. One in particular has a stay at home wife who is with the little bastards all the time, yet, she never cooks meals and their house looks like hoarders, while she constantly buys more shit. The kids have no schedule or bedtime and their lives are chaotic....on school nights, they are running to Burger king for dinner at 9 p.m. Everyone gets a constant diet of junk food.

The oldest kid has been diagnosed as an autard. They spent a lot of money sending him to a private school, where he was constantly being sent home because he was hitting kids and acting out. He's six years old. They got their money back and sent him to public school, where he is suddenly getting "glowing reviews." You know he's the same badly-behaved little bastard he always was, but the public school teachers are just probably letting do what he wants, which includes harassing other kids, until they get a complaint. (I'm not knocking teachers, but they are overworked and with 25+ per class, many of whom have behavioral problems, I'm sure they are overwhelmed.)

And, now this is leaking into adult society where NO ONE thinks the police has authority to give you an order and you have to comply. No, this is not nazi germany, but if you don't listen to the police, society has chaos and mayhem. If you are wronged, then get a lawyer and sue later, but you dont fight every time an officer talks to you. This is because everyone has been told, you don't have to listen to teacher, or the nun at church, or the librarian when they shush you. People actually think if your boss hurts your feelings, that counts as a legal "hostile work environment". Heck your boss doesn't even call himself supervisor or manager anymore, they are the "team leader" and are all equal now. The bullshit words we use now, George Carlin is spinning in his grave.

Quote
cfuter
And, now this is leaking into adult society where NO ONE thinks the police has authority to give you an order and you have to comply. No, this is not nazi germany, but if you don't listen to the police, society has chaos and mayhem. If you are wronged, then get a lawyer and sue later, but you dont fight every time an officer talks to you. This is because everyone has been told, you don't have to listen to teacher, or the nun at church, or the librarian when they shush you. People actually think if your boss hurts your feelings, that counts as a legal "hostile work environment". Heck your boss doesn't even call himself supervisor or manager anymore, they are the "team leader" and are all equal now. The bullshit words we use now, George Carlin is spinning in his grave.

Yeah, the Soft Language routine.

Quote

I see these stupid parents who allow their kids to rule their lives with their whims and I think, what dumbasses.

I'm confident I have seen an adult version of that. Its sickening, especially since the father was a warm hearted guy. I wouldn't call him a dumbass, but he certainly made a stupid decision, mollycoddling his princess brat.

I spent the weekend with three adults who are retired teachers, and all of them had observed that children with manners are a rarity these days.

And, ironically, we have the 'most-involved' (hovering) parents ever in the history of parenting.