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Not invited to whelping party, but I should send a gift and beg moo for forgiveness

Posted by hana 
Moo is hosting the One of Our Own and has become a massive pregzilla. She was a decent person pre inpig, and got along well with her. We met through a hobby club. After she announced the pregnasty, the group went to dinner (dinner scheduled prior to pregnasty announcement) in a popular restaurant on a Friday night. The restaurant was packed and she started yelling that the restaurant was trying to kill the piggo because she didn't get another glass of water the second she emptied it. She also threw a tantrum because all the female diners ordered beer with their dinner. One of the people at the table mentioned being tired since she's doing the job of three people, her job is understaffed and a coworker had a medical emergency 2 weeks before their annual convention. So friend is organizing a 20,000 person convention by herself in addition to her regular job and coworker's job. Of course moo says friend can't be tired because only piggos can be tired, after all she's creating life.

Invites to the royal whelping went out today, and I'm not invited. No big deal since I would decline anyways.

Other friends in hobby club are saying I should send a gift to the party with them and apologize to moo for offending her. Apparently moo is furious with me since I'm not worshiping her. I see no need to apologize or send a gift. I'll be polite to moo and duh at club functions, but I made it clear to a member of the executive board that babystalking is a form of harassment and I will make an on the record harassment complaint if moo babystalks me.

I'm openly childfree and antinatalist, so moo should not be surprised. Duh respects my beliefs, and I suspect he regrets this parasite and his 2 brats from his first marriage.

Whelping party is a week from today, and I won't send a gift. We'll see what happens.
Since when are gifts required if you aren't invited to the shower? And who are these idiots who are saying you should give a gift to be nice?

The behavior of these people reminds me of some unpleasant group dynamics in my social circle that I recently experienced. I was not invited to the wedding of lifelong friend's chyyyld. I wouldn't have cared and probably wouldn't have gone but it did not escape my attention that: 1. everyone else in our social circle was invited, even people who live out of town over me, and 2. just about six months prior to that, the Moo in question gave me the resume of this kid and asked me if I could get him a job where I work. (I sent the resume along and made inquiries, but my company had a hiring freeze and nothing came of it. I felt pretty used in the deal and it made me wonder if not being invited was punishment for not finding this kid a job.)

Since this happened I've been avoiding doing one-on-one things with this person and I've not been at all impolite to this person, but some do-gooder, can't-we-all-get-along people in my social circle are now excluding ME and telling ME that I need to apologize to this person because I'm not doing things with this friend since the event. What?

To me, the dynamics of these other people are a cause for concern. I hope you can stay affiliated with this club, but their behavior sounds really improper to me. Not everyone is going to be huggy-bear-friends in a club, and the focus should be on the hobby. They need to leave you the fuck alone.
Double dipping, but I'm curious, what did other people say when this happened?

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She also threw a tantrum because all the female diners ordered beer with their dinner.

I have dietary restrictions due to some health conditions, but I would never force my dietary choices on another person.

Please tell me these people continued to drink their beer and ignored this rude twat.
No. Just, no. When invited to a shower, I will attend if it is a first baby and the person is a friend or relative (or the wife of a friend or relative). I bring a gift that I made (I sew and knit) and another useful gift that is needed in bulk (e.g., diapers), but never anything from a registry.

This person sounds like a nightmare, and sending a gift would only have shown her that she was right and you were wrong, and, most importantly, that she was owed a prize for doing badly what cockroaches are good at.
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hana
Of course moo says friend can't be tired because only piggos can be tired, after all she's creating life.

Invites to the royal whelping went out today, and I'm not invited. No big deal since I would decline anyways.

Other friends in hobby club are saying I should send a gift to the party with them and apologize to moo for offending her. Apparently moo is furious with me since I'm not worshiping her. I see no need to apologize or send a gift. I'll be polite to moo and duh at club functions, but I made it clear to a member of the executive board that babystalking is a form of harassment and I will make an on the record harassment complaint if moo babystalks me.

I'm openly childfree and antinatalist, so moo should not be surprised. Duh respects my beliefs, and I suspect he regrets this parasite and his 2 brats from his first marriage.

Whelping party is a week from today, and I won't send a gift. We'll see what happens.

God, these people sound like such royal assholes. Perhaps a book on etiquette for the rude ass pregzilla? Because your brief story illustrates a definite lack of social graces on her part. I'd recommend one that covers invitations to parties and expectations. And while you're at it, perhaps one for all the little bitches insisting you send a gift with them? These people may be in a hobby group with you but they aren't your friends.
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bell_flower
Since when are gifts required if you aren't invited to the shower? And who are these idiots who are saying you should give a gift to be nice?

I learned you only have to give a gift if you attend the shower, I'm not attending so no gift. The idiots who say this are massive breeder pleasers that think the club should be more fambily friendly. Apparently I'm going to destroy hobby clubs future by not being more welcome to breeders. Also head breeder pleaser is trying to to up her profile in hobby club community and thinks kissing ass to breeders in general moo and duh specifically will up her profile.

There were 3 female diners including myself, none of them part of the idiot breeder pleaser crew. We ignored moo and ordered beers.

To answer other club related questions, I only see the idiots at club meetings and have no friendship with them outside of hobby club. I do social media for hobby club, and Takeo is on the board of directors. Moo and duh come to maybe 20% of meetings and do some half assed volunteer work. I hold all the cards because if I get pissed and leave, I'm taking Takeo with me and then they're in a world of hurt.

Before anyone asks, hobby club will not be sending a gift, the only way the club will acknowledge the birth is if the breeders send a birth announcement to the club newsletter editor.

Thought of walking to the neighborhood thrift store and buying the idiots etiquette books, but it's $1.00 more than I want to spend. Also they won't get the hint.

Figured out why moo is furious with me. A mutual friend on farcebook (I'm friends with duh but not moo) asked what people did to reduce their carbon footprint in honor of Earth Day. My response was and I'm paraphrasing that I can do anything as a CF person and have a smaller footprint than the crunchiest eco breeder.
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I do social media for hobby club, and Takeo is on the board of directors. Moo and duh come to maybe 20% of meetings and do some half assed volunteer work.

CF/CL people are usually the backbone of any organization. Most people with families pull the kyd card often and are organizational freeloaders.

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There were 3 female diners including myself, none of them part of the idiot breeder pleaser crew. We ignored moo and ordered beers.

I just re-read what you wrote again....so she only had a hissy fit that the females were drinking and not the males? Because females are supposed to be on solidarity with Moo and give up their beer? I'm hating this cow more and more.
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bell_flower
CF/CL people are usually the backbone of any organization. Most people with families pull the kyd card often and are organizational freeloaders.

Not unusual for new breeders to drop out and rejoin a few years later. Club meetings are in private homes and the hosts are empty nesters who made it very clear breeder bullshit isn't welcome. Most of the members are childed, but their children are in their 20s and 30s. The majority of the promotional stuff is done by Takeo, Anne (who was at dinner), and I. Anne is CL by choice, she doesn't want to pass on certain genes.

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I just re-read what you wrote again....so she only had a hissy fit that the females were drinking and not the males? Because females are supposed to be on solidarity with Moo and give up their beer? I'm hating this cow more and more.

Think it was supposed to be some solidarity thing, maybe she read about it in a moo blog. The only reason I had a beer was that Takeo and I take turns driving. If the dinner was a week earlier, it would be Takeo drinking. The other diners, Anne and Karen, took public transit to the restaurant and we drove them to the meeting and home.

edited for spelling and grammar
"Figured out why moo is furious with me. A mutual friend on farcebook (I'm friends with duh but not moo) asked what people did to reduce their carbon footprint in honor of Earth Day. My response was and I'm paraphrasing that I can do anything as a CF person and have a smaller footprint than the crunchiest eco breeder."

Breeders HATE it when someone mentions their effect on the natural world. They have the usual optimism that their kids will be the ones to save the planet and to point to to any of them that they are a problem, and rarely a solution is to set them off.
It was hypocritical of her to post that Earth Day question in the first place. If she's so concerned about the environment, maybe if she lifted her finger from Candy Crush and slid it over to Google for a second she'd realize that anyone who breeds should never preach green living. I'm no crunchberry myself, but at least I'm not doubling and tripling my impact on this already dying planet. "But no, I use biodegradable shitrags and all that crap." That's still a dinosaur-sized carbon footprint.
Sounds like you have this well under control. And where would the food bullying end if you let it start? Moo can't have alcohol so no one else can. Then, moo had baby and is trying to lose weight and so no one at the table can eat anything fatty or with sugar. Really happy the females ignored her attempt to control their food intake and ordered beers.

If the breeder pleasers are that concerned then let them buy a big gift on the behalf of others since they're convinced that will redeem them. Doesn't sound like most of the members care.
Going to a hobby event this weekend and I'll see idiot breeder pleaser and her lackey. Anne is invited but hasn't talked to me about the party since she knows it's bad manners to talk about a party to a person that isn't invited. The only reason I know is she just texted me and asked me to trade shifts at hobby club's table. No reason given and no reason needed, I agreed since it works better for me.

Shutting down the tech so I can go to bed early, I'll post a full report Monday night or Tuesday afternoon.
Back from the event and I'm sure no one will be surprised by this update.

Idiot breeder pleaser and lackey ignored me all weekend long. No loss there

Helped Anne take down the table since the cash box needed to go to my room since Takeo had opening shift at the table next morning. She looked really annoyed, so I asked her what happened. According to her moo was in a very bad mood the entire time. She was mad that duh refuses to go to court to get his child support payments reduced. He doesn't see the point of spending time and money for a judge to tell him no. Ex and his sons were invited and attended, and she tried to bully ex into accepting less child support. Ex stood her ground. Moo didn't like Anne's gift, a set of clothes and a book.

Duh took Anne aside and asked her to explain to moo how child support works, and Anne declined saying it's a family matter.

Anne and I started a pool on when they announce they're getting divorced.
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Duh took Anne aside and asked her to explain to moo how child support works, and Anne declined saying it's a family matter.

wow, pass the eating popcorn.

Sounds like that discussion should have taken place prior to the sperm hitting the egg....or maybe it did, and Moo's true colors are coming out.

Good luck in getting the child support reduced. That never happens unless someone dies.

He sounds like a ball-less dumbass and she sounds like a shrew.

He probably can't afford a divorce.
Why not send a box of condoms?
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bell_flower
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Duh took Anne aside and asked her to explain to moo how child support works, and Anne declined saying it's a family matter.

wow, pass the eating popcorn.

Sounds like that discussion should have taken place prior to the sperm hitting the egg....or maybe it did, and Moo's true colors are coming out.

Good luck in getting the child support reduced. That never happens unless someone dies.

He sounds like a ball-less dumbass and she sounds like a shrew.

He probably can't afford a divorce.

Think moo doesn't like the idea of duh having preexisting children that drain his money and his time. She wants them punted behind the couch. Anne volunteers with an organization that helps DV victims navigate the courts, so duh thought she could explain it better. Because Anne spends so much time in family court she concluded they'll divorce eventually. Moo will be more resentful over duh paying child support for at least 5 more years, not sure if he's required to pay for college. He's a lawyer, she's a teacher. Not sure if she wants to be a SHAMoo or not.

Next hobby club meeting is this Saturday, wouldn't be surprised if they showed up expecting gifts from people who declined the whelping party due to being at hobby event the same weekend.


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mr. neptune
Why not send a box of condoms?

This is my usual whelping party gift, didn't occur to me to send a box with Anne. It's a great way to make sure moo and duh never speak to you again.
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mr. neptune
Why not send a box of condoms?

bouncing smileys
If you run into them, give them a copy of "Deliverance". Tell them you thought they would feel at home seeing their relatives in the movies.

_______________________________________________________________

"It is better not to look like what you are; it is better to look like a bourgeois woman because then all the doors are open for you and then you can just go and make hell." - Marjane Satrapi
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addiea raine
If you run into them, give them a copy of "Deliverance". Tell them you thought they would feel at home seeing their relatives in the movies.

You should, with what is going on there, I am starting to hear banjos.
Wahhhhh! Others dare to drink beer around me when I can't.
Wahhhhh! My husband should get his child support reduced because I say so.
Wahhhhh! I don't like a gift someone bought for my whelping party!

This child is going to have a tough time raising it's mother!
an update of sorts

Moo volunteered for an event hobby club is running in the fall, and is mad that Karen (who is in charge) insists moo have a back up in case she can't do it. Loaf will be 2-3 months and moo is convinced it will sleep quietly under the table during the event. Also her moo will be present maybe and can take care of the loaf. Except when she wants to dump it on whoever is running the operations side of everything. She expects that the loafleigh will attract so many worshippers, she'll need her own security. If I was Karen I would put them in a non critical volunteer position, but I'm not so not my problem.

Royal whelping will happen any day now, and moo already talking about giving it a younger brother. She's convinced if she gives duh a golden penis he'll kick his sons behind the couch. Don't think that will happen. If he has any brains he'll get a vasectomy before it's too late.
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hana
an update of sorts

Moo volunteered for an event hobby club is running in the fall, and is mad that Karen (who is in charge) insists moo have a back up in case she can't do it. Loaf will be 2-3 months and moo is convinced it will sleep quietly under the table during the event. Also her moo will be present maybe and can take care of the loaf. Except when she wants to dump it on whoever is running the operations side of everything. She expects that the loafleigh will attract so many worshippers, she'll need her own security. If I was Karen I would put them in a non critical volunteer position, but I'm not so not my problem.

Royal whelping will happen any day now, and moo already talking about giving it a younger brother. She's convinced if she gives duh a golden penis he'll kick his sons behind the couch. Don't think that will happen. If he has any brains he'll get a vasectomy before it's too late.

A) BULLSHIT! Babies are noisy at home, add in the stress of a new place with strangers running around you'll have a screaming loaf on her hands. It's selfish to the attendees and it's at most endangering the loaf's health. All loafy needs is some schmuck with a cold and then you'll have one sick loaf. You would think these idiots would have paid attention to the news the past month or so with the baby catching herpes because some idiot kissed her. She died from herpes meningitis because some idiot couldn't keep their germs to themselves. Here's the link on that clusterfuck: Link

cool smiley I wouldn't be so sure of duh not kicking the first set to the curb. Nagzilla will make his life a living Hell while reminding him he has a baby with her and therefore is his true son since they are together now. She will nag him until he spends less and less time with his other kids until they realize he's never coming for them when he says he is. If they visit she will treat them as slaves and if they get anywhere near the "Holy Loaf" they will be shrieked at and told how worthless they are. She will go on tell anyone who will listen how hard it is being a step-mother to kids who are so jealous of their baby brother they actually tried to hurt him.

Bitches like this have found a home on the I.D. Channel.

_______________________________________________________________

"It is better not to look like what you are; it is better to look like a bourgeois woman because then all the doors are open for you and then you can just go and make hell." - Marjane Satrapi
Sounds like moo is always pangry (pregnant then permanently angry afterwards). I feel for her kids and everyone who has to be near her because her misery seems desperate for company.
He'll likely have to pay for college to the point he can afford. Divorced ppl usually do nowadays. As a college student, you're better off w/ a divorced parent than married parents because the courts don't make regular everyday married parents pay, but most do a working divorced parent and it is part of the Divorce order agreement.
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addiea raine
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hana
an update of sorts

Moo volunteered for an event hobby club is running in the fall, and is mad that Karen (who is in charge) insists moo have a back up in case she can't do it. Loaf will be 2-3 months and moo is convinced it will sleep quietly under the table during the event. Also her moo will be present maybe and can take care of the loaf. Except when she wants to dump it on whoever is running the operations side of everything. She expects that the loafleigh will attract so many worshippers, she'll need her own security. If I was Karen I would put them in a non critical volunteer position, but I'm not so not my problem.

Royal whelping will happen any day now, and moo already talking about giving it a younger brother. She's convinced if she gives duh a golden penis he'll kick his sons behind the couch. Don't think that will happen. If he has any brains he'll get a vasectomy before it's too late.

A) BULLSHIT! Babies are noisy at home, add in the stress of a new place with strangers running around you'll have a screaming loaf on her hands. It's selfish to the attendees and it's at most endangering the loaf's health. All loafy needs is some schmuck with a cold and then you'll have one sick loaf. You would think these idiots would have paid attention to the news the past month or so with the baby catching herpes because some idiot kissed her. She died from herpes meningitis because some idiot couldn't keep their germs to themselves. Here's the link on that clusterfuck: Link

cool smiley I wouldn't be so sure of duh not kicking the first set to the curb. Nagzilla will make his life a living Hell while reminding him he has a baby with her and therefore is his true son since they are together now. She will nag him until he spends less and less time with his other kids until they realize he's never coming for them when he says he is. If they visit she will treat them as slaves and if they get anywhere near the "Holy Loaf" they will be shrieked at and told how worthless they are. She will go on tell anyone who will listen how hard it is being a step-mother to kids who are so jealous of their baby brother they actually tried to hurt him.

Bitches like this have found a home on the I.D. Channel.

It's real. We went for a house viewing the other day and the owner, a newly divorced Duh with a new much younger girlfriend was showing us around and telling us how new squeeze wants to move ASAP, wants to leave even the white goods in the house because she doesn't want anything from his old place, everything has to be new, got to be a fresh start and she wants to start a family...his two teenage sons were destined to be behind the couchers, I felt sorry for them. New stepmoo to be had Duh round her little finger, dictating everything. He mentioned that if they had more kids then the teens would have to share a room and they wouldn't like it. Writing on the wall.
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