Why have a SAHM if the working spouse has to attend every little thing?

Mysteries of the Universe:

One part of a couple is staying home to raise the kyds. So why does the working partner have to take off for every little thing? Oh, and since only one parent is working, shouldn't the working person be concerned about, I dunno, being on the job and trying to keep a job? Because managers remember who is ducking out for every Well Baybee visit and all the routine care. Your kid was up during the night and needs to go to the doctor? Why do both parents need to go to the appointment?

My mom stayed home when we were little. Her job was to run the household, which she did, and it would have made a drill sargeant proud. She stretched the dollars, kept a clean house and took us where we needed to go. She wouldn't have dreamed to ask my dad to attend the routine stuff. She just caught him up on events later.

Not so for the Modern Dud. Apparently there is the expectation that he needs to take off and "help" the Moo attend doctor and dentist appointments with the kids. How is this efficient? Let's tie up two adults for a job that should only require one adult. It starts while the loaf is cooking and never lets up. The dud needs to go to EVERY, SINGLE STINKING pre-whelping appointment.

If I needed someone to help me do every aspect of my job, they would start to suspect I was INCOMPETENT.

If you are staying home with your kids in 2017, you have more convenience items than mothers 20 years ago could have ever dreamed of. So why do you need help with Every. Little. Stinking. thing.? Take care of business, the business you presumably wanted to do.

This is exactly what a friend of mine went through with his useless Moo-wife. Married her and bred with her and she agreed to be a SAHM while he went to work, but all she'd do is sit on her ass at home playing Candy Crush or Farmville all fucking day, meaning that my friend had to go to work full-time and then come home to clean, cook and care for their two brats. He wised up and divorced her, I think less than two years after they got married. My guess is she figured she'd just get a ring on her finger and a bun in her oven so she could do nothing for a decade (and then get in pig again if Duh started badgering her to get a job once the kids were in school).

Moos are a special breed of retarded. They'll bitch at their husbands for not doing enough to help out with the brats, which I can understand if both parents work and a majority of the child care is falling on the woman, because that is an unfair division of work. But if Moo is a SAHM instead of contributing financially, you bet your ass she should be doing most of the brat care. Moos just want to act like victims and bitch about their "deadbeat" men who won't "man up" and be involved fathers, or the ones who claim they're jealous because their husbands "get to escape" to work. The average SAHM of today only wants to be a stay-at-home parent so she doesn't have to go get a real job and her kids can be an excuse for her to do fuck all all day long.

Meanwhile, if the Duh does try to be involved with his own kid, Moo will chase him away because they feel only mommies know how to properly care for and interact with their kids, so only she knows how to parent correctly. I think it's a combination of a control freak attitude and Moos not wanting to admit that a man can be just as good of a parent - if not a better one - than a woman.

In other words, SAHMoos want it all three ways: to have Duhs that go to work and support their ass-sitting, but also Duhs who are super-involved with every aspect of their kids' lives... but also not too involved, lest Junior like Duh more than Moo. They want something that doesn't exist; no matter how the Duh acts, he's always going to be wrong. And this is precisely how Moo wants it to be so she can always have something to complain about.

I can't blame anyone for wanting to opt out of the workforce if they can. Work sucks more than ever these days and there are too many people chasing too few jobs anyway. However, I do object to healthy able-bodied adults who don't want to do anything at all. This seems to be what most SAHMs are. It was not that way when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s. SAHMs were still more common then than they are now, especially in the 70s. They were expected to do a decent job of raising well-behaved kids, cooking and cleaning. They were also expected to be reasonably pleasant people and not look like slobs. Somehow all those expectations have disappeared and SAHMs are now allowed to be worthless bums.

And what about the modern phenomenon of expecting Duh to be involved with every aspect of the pregnasty and bratraising? The only thing I can think of is Moo needs someone to constantly validate her existence and make her feel important. I agree both parents should take an interest in the kid(s) and be involved in its life. But if one parent is unemployed he or she absolutely should do most of the work. In the old days fathers did interact with their kids, contrary to what many people believe.

Many years ago, before I learned to screen all dads from my dating pool, I had a serious relationship with a father of two (non-custodial, every other weekend visits).
There were various issues and problems developed, mostly related to his kids, which ended the relationship.
One of those issues was that he had spent his entire adult life with the mother of his children who was a SAHM.
She did not contribute to the household income at all.

When this man and I decided to live together, we discussed most issues, including equally splitting financial and household cleaning expectations.
We kept expenses low and each contributed equally financially to the household expenses, except that he moved his teenage boy in after a month and expected me to subsidize his kid.
Nope!

Also, I rarely am able to work due to multiple disabilities, so we had agreed to evenly split the household cleaning and other responsibilities (grass cutting, laundry, dishes, gardening, floors, etc).
Because he was used to a SAHW, he secretly decided he could do 30 minutes a week and we would be even.
Also when his teenager moved in the workload tripled.

He thought that I could be working extra hours every day doing his and his child's responsibilities for free, even though I was disabled, because I had more 'free time' than they did.
They did not like my comparison to being an unpaid house keeper as a part-time job for the responsibilities that agreed to do, but decided that should be dumped on my shoulders.

For these and many other reasons, I noped my way out of there.

Very astute observation. I've also observed this and wonder....why?

I really think this is a modern thing...my dad was the stay at home parent, if I had appointments or anything during my mum's working hours, Dad took care of it. My mum was a teacher when I was small, so you can't really up and leave your reception class (kids aged 4-5, for those not familiar with the UK school system) to go to your kid's doctor's appointment or whatever. Amazing the number of people that would assume my mum was dead because it was my dad taking me to all these things all by himself...no moo to show him how to do it properly or anything. How on earth did I turn out relatively sane and normal when I didn't have a heli-moo watching over me 24/7...

This became common with the younger guys (it was usually a guy) at work several years back. It is more about using the sprogs as an excuse to miss or duck work. Finding such excuses is amazingly common for those under about 40 out my way.

My work was full of this shit too. No matter if it was SAHM or SAHD, the co-worker spouse had the kyd card to get outta work for every such shit thing. You know how parunts take off now for the first day of school so they can walk kid one block to the school. Such bullshit.