Retarded friend breeding when they shouldn't be

I have a friend whom I'll refer to as "Brian" who just seems to descend further and further into retardation.

Brian was with this woman named "Carol" for about a year and a half and got engaged to her because she was The One^TM. He found out around the 1.5-year mark that Carol had been cheating on him with multiple men and dumped her ass with maximum subsequent Facebook drama complete with his friends harassing Carol online and even stalking her at her place of work and Brian vowing to never, ever date anybody ever again because every single woman he has ever dated cheated on him (he does a "goodbye cruel dating world" post after every failed relationship). Welp, I guess they kissed and made up because they were back together within like two months.

Round two of their relationship has been going for a couple months now, and thanks to Facebook, I now know that Brian has knocked Carol up. I should point out that Brian already has a son with an insane cheater ex who he never sees because he can't afford brat support payments (the ex says, "No money, no visitation") and Carol brought a couple of her baggage brats along from previous failed relationships. It's painfully obvious the currently incubating clump is an accident (or at least it was for him, could have been an oops by her). Meanwhile, shortly before Brian brought up the clump on social media, he was pissing and moaning about how, in spite of the fact that he and his on-again-off-again fiance are both working, they can't afford to live. They aren't living above their means either, like in a luxury apartment or anything. They're living in a place that's one step above low-income housing, though he did share his monthly expenses publicly and I have to wonder what in the fuck he's even doing to wind up with the bill amounts he has.

Of course, they and everyone else they know are just as happy as pigs in shit over the Blessed News^TM. From what I know, Brian would actually be a father of five right now if four of his previous exes had not done the wise thing and aborted. I'm sure your tax dollars will be paying for this loaf that nobody can afford. I would laugh so fucking hard if the kid wasn't actually his.I can always hope Carol miscarries the clump because, frankly, I think that would be a better fate than the one it's currently headed for: a life of poverty.

"Of course, they and everyone else they know are just as happy as pigs in shit over the Blessed News"

I wonder if these are the same people who were harassing the moo over her cheating, but now since she has divine moo status with the upcoming loaf, no one would dare treat her as anything but a princess.

What's going to happen when Carol has more gentlemen callers later? I forsee more Facebook drama in the horizon, better ready up some popcorn cause it's gonna be a multi-season series!

Poor loaf being born in that Maury trainwreck.

Laying a bet that there is a 50% chance the baybee isn't his, who know whether or not he will ever find out though. Could predict the probability with more accuracy if I knew how far along she is exactly but if it doesn't match the date she was with him she'd probably make up lies to cover it.
....Also, since she is a bizzy single mahm with numerous brats how does she find the time to have a boyfriend and then screw around on him left and right?

I'm not totally sure exactly how far along Carol is right now, but she's far enough along to be finding out the gender of the clump. I don't know how early that can be determined. I also don't precisely remember when Brian and Carol decided to bury the hatchet and get back together, so I don't know if how far along she is lines up with their reunion.

Brian hasn't had much luck in the area of conception calculations anyway. When his last ex said she was pregnant, he said that her pregnancy didn't line up with the time she was with him, so there was absolutely no possible way it could be his kid. And it was. So this time, he could very easily say there's no way it couldn't be his loaf and it turns out belonging to a side dish. Time will tell.

I wonder if Carol had the good sense to fuck men with similar skin color to Brian so it wouldn't be glaringly obvious at birth that it wasn't his. And I honestly don't know where Carol found the time for secret romantic trysts between having a boyfriend, raising her bastards and having a job. I don't think they were living together at the time, but I'm guessing since she found out she was in pig, they decided they should co-habitate.

What do you do when you can't even take care of yourself? Add a dependent, of course! I give it a year. I mean they'll realize the second they bring the loaf home they've made a mistake, but they'll stick it out, thinking everything will be just fine eventually, but the relationship will most likely be extremely turbulent and peppered with frequent break-ups and Brian will definitely let every single person on the internet know about it.

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I wonder if these are the same people who were harassing the moo over her cheating, but now since she has divine moo status with the upcoming loaf, no one would dare treat her as anything but a princess.

Most likely, but I don't think it's so much that they like Carol herself, just that they're happy that, in spite of the completely shitty circumstances, a cute widdle baybee will come out of it because people are idiots. I don't remember all the details, but Brian's excessively loyal friends are the reason Carol lost her old job. She worked in a day care and they made fake complaints to her supervisor about her being cruel/negligent/abusive to the kids and she lost her job and had to take a lower-paying minimum-wage position to make ends meet, which she still can't even do.

So much trainwreck. And it will be delicious.