Spare Me the bullshit graduation ceremonies

< switching to Old Foagie Mode >

There used to be graduations for high school, college, or graduate school, you know, real milestones, such as making it through compulsory education for 12 years, or getting a college degree when there was much less grade inflation and when having a college degree was an accomplishment. My high school graduation took place at our high school stadium. After my high school graduation I went out with friends.

Now there are high school graduations, middle school graduations, elementary school graduations, and even graduations from PRE-SCHOOL to kindergarten! Yes, I know someone who had their kid in pre-school/daycare and there was a ceremony with CAPS and GOWNS when kids were going to kindergarten the next year. These events are a family affair with announcements, gift grabs, attendance by grandparents, family and friends. Many high schools in my town now use the city arena, the same place where the professional sports teams play. There are family dinners; the graduates get taken out, and they are often showered with gifts. The same person mentioned above had a kid who got a $1,000 savings bond from Grandma and Grandpa for graduating from kindergarten.

What was previously a rite of passage has now turned into orgy of consumption and celebration. Is it any wonder that kids expect a round of applause for just doing normal things?

My high school graduation was held at an arena, but that's because my graduating class was 575 some-odd students and our auditorium or football stadium wouldn't hold everybody's family and whatnot. Plus, summer in Virginia is not a time people want to be sitting outside for a ceremony where just calling out the names for the students to receive their diplomas was going to take an hour, let alone the rest of the ceremony.

I had a preschool graduation, but from what I (vaguely) recall, it was just us performing The Mitten. I think I was the bear.

But I agree that having graduation ceremonies constantly throughout a child's grade school career is stupid. It turns an important rite of passage into a pointless, meaningless gift-grabbing affair. By the time a student reaches an important graduation, it's no more special than the others. Like the demand that children have access to what was purely adult venues, it gives kids nothing to look forward to and society ends up with a bunch of bored young adults who also expect parties and gifts for wiping their own ass.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

My kindergarten graduation ceremony in 1976 was us dressing up and singing a few songs for our parents. We had been practicing the songs since the beginning of the year. I think we all got some piece of paper afterwards.

I don't remember any more ceremonies until graduating junior high (now middle school) in 1984. We had a real graduation ceremony but no caps and gowns. Oh yeah, I do vaguely remember something at the end of elementary school.

Everything is a much bigger production now. Graduations, proms, weddings, even kids birthday parties. When I went to the prom with friends in the mid 80s I wore a dress ordered from the JC Penney catalog. They also sold wedding gowns back then. Now this would be unthinkable, everybody totally needs super expensive designer clothes for every special occasion.

and parents of all income levels have to spend money on renting these caps and gowns for pre-school and kindergarten etc, and the professional pics, and if they wish, money on eating out, this is just consumerism that businesses have latched on too. It behooves them to create these needs so you eat out more.

I wore the same dress for 8th grade "prom', 8th grade graduation and then I wore it at 18 yrs old for my H.S graduation. My parents didnt have to splurge every few yrs. I got a fake gold necklace as a graduation gift.

I have yet to attend one of my graduations. I guess some people get jaded from having all their slight accomplishments celebrated, whereas I have just gotten jaded seeing what a big production other people make of insignificant events, to the point that I have difficulty identifying any true accomplishments in myself or others.

(I think I had an account here years ago, but mostly I have been a lurker. Delurking because I had an unusual K grad.)

Back in the early 70s when I "graduated" from kindergarten, I had to not only memorize all the presidents in order and recite them in front of the class (in order to get my very own copy of the Declaration of Independence), but we also had to memorize the part of an early American figure. Every kid was a different person (George/Martha Washington, Betsy Ross, Patrick Henry, Abraham/Mary Lincoln, etc.). Each kid would come on stage either alone or with a partner (for the married figures) and be "interviewed" by the principal in front of all the parents/grandparents/etc. The principal would read from her script, but we all had to memorize our parts. We each had to wear a historical costume (owned by the school - didn't have to pay for it) and wear make-up. It was ridiculously stressful for a bunch of five and six year olds because we couldn't even have a parent with us backstage, but it was also one of my most complete early memories (both the studying for the part with my mom and the performance). I still remember parts of the script.

I'll owe that when I "graduated" kindergarten in the early 1970s, we did have the cap & gown. But there was no gift grab, no one outside of my parents & brother attended whatever little ceremony we had, and no parties. My Dad took pictures, no professional photography. In fact, one of my cherished possessions is a photo of both my late Mom & I in our respective caps & gowns. Mom had gotten a Master's that year. But I believe it is silly to make a big production out of getting out of middle school.

I had a middle school and a high school graduation that my parents made a big deal of, (not by modern standards...) but my circumstances were different.

At middle school, I was the very first disabled student mainstreamed from 'special' school to full time public school, in some ways the prototype of this practice in that area. After my success, the retard schools opened the flood gates because their funding was getting cut left, right, and center. I got a new dress, and was taken out to dinner.

High school was a bigger deal as I was the first of my family to wear that cap and gown. I also snagged a spot on the Principle's List, the only person with disabilities to grab one of those back when grades weren't inflated and graduates universally rewarded.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

We had one in middle school but it was a low-key thing. I think my parents got me balloons and then I had a 3/4 friends over for a little party. Nothing huge, I think it was snacks and drinks, maybe a cake or a pizza, I don't recall. It was almost 30 years ago. We kids were all just thankful we survived that cesspool. There was a severe bullying problem and my friends and I had all been targets.

Quote
craftyzits
I had a middle school and a high school graduation that my parents made a big deal of, (not by modern standards...) but my circumstances were different.

At middle school, I was the very first disabled student mainstreamed from 'special' school to full time public school, in some ways the prototype of this practice in that area. After my success, the retard schools opened the flood gates because their funding was getting cut left, right, and center. I got a new dress, and was taken out to dinner.

High school was a bigger deal as I was the first of my family to wear that cap and gown. I also snagged a spot on the Principle's List, the only person with disabilities to grab one of those back when grades weren't inflated and graduates universally rewarded.

This deserves recognition, IMO. It is nothing like "all kids who make it to the next grade get a big party" which is expected behavior.

When transitioning from elementary to jr. high the students put together a program for the parents to enjoy. But we didn't have any kind of lavish ceremony.

I think it's OK to celebrate life's milestones, including graduations. Parties are fun! (Especially when there's other things to do than dote over a kid)

But I think OP is right in that not every milestone should be equated to a gift grab. A kid shouldn't expect money for doing what they're expected to do anyhow -- but of course it's nice to receive a gift regardless, and EVERY gift should get a thank you.

I remember after graduating high school, I got a lot of congratulatory cards, and many came with money. I wrote thank-yous to every one -- but I ended up missing one. It didn't take long for Nana to corner me and guilt me hard. "WHY did you not send a thank-you to your AUNT MARY. She called me and she's VERY upset! Send her a thank-you this instant!" I still don't know why Aunt Mary got skipped. Chances are I just accidentally forgot in the rush of prepping for college. But I'll never, ever forget it now!

To tie this to the original post, this is why a lot of graduation parties are bullshit. It's because they're gift grabs, and the kid just tears through envelopes and presents like it's a race. Where did 'thank you' go? Where did being grateful go? It should be a life lesson, not an afterthought.