CF piece on Today.com

A bit breeder-pleasey (she sounds like someone who generally hates the thought of upsetting anyone), but some decent points decently presented. I especially like:

Quote

As women, we’re expected to take on so much, and I know that something we love would have to give if we became parents.

More PARENTS should be aware of how their decision to have children takes from those around them.

I also like #5 on her list. The "family" thing is a push-button for me, too.

Anyway, the article.

" Though our lives aren't as glamorous as they seem to outsiders, we love to travel."

I think our lives are glamorous to many parents, comparatively speaking. The fact that they don't revolve around kids is probably enough to make it so. Sleeping in, last minute road trips and not having to ever worry about a babysitter are probably high on the glamorous list. Travel and other leisure activities (without kids) just make it more so.

I've heard parents say just spending the afternoon doing what they want with no kids around would be the perfect vacation for them, and we have that every day. A few have said being able to use the bathroom in peace without interruption would be the best moment of their day. Also heard parents divorcing who say they are looking forward to the reprieve away from their kids with split custody.

Maybe I am an oddball but I really don't care how people choose to live their lives, so long as they live peacefully and not infringe upon the rights of others. If you want to have a bunch of kids, fine. Want to live a LifeScript? Fine. Want to live alone? Fine. Want to Spend all of your time smoking cigars and watching porno flicks? No problem.

Whatever you do is fine except when you infringe on the rights of others to choose how they want to live. Choose a lifestyle that works best for you... but don't expect the rest of the population to follow your lead.

Quote
freya

I've heard parents say just spending the afternoon doing what they want with no kids around would be the perfect vacation for them, and we have that every day. A few have said being able to use the bathroom in peace without interruption would be the best moment of their day.

That's a cop out.

They CAN do these things! But instead they end up conditioning their kids to ensure that they'll never be able to do these things.

When I was a kid we were told to go out and play, independently. Today's kids are involved in multiple organized sports teams and various other activities which remove ANY opportunity for anyone in the household to get a free hour or two during the week or on the weekend. The parents willingly pay and sign them up for these events, and are responsible for chauffeuring them from ballet practice, to baseball games, to oboe lessons, to wherever else they must go. I know many of these families and this lifestyle is a 24/7 responsibility. Weekends are 10+ hours per day driving to different ball fields and trying to win "tournaments" that no one will ever give a shit about.

I estimate that at least 50% of these are a complete waste of time and money and yield little for anyone involved with them, with the exception of increased anxiety.

Quote
freya
" Though our lives aren't as glamorous as they seem to outsiders, we love to travel."

I think our lives are glamorous to many parents, comparatively speaking. The fact that they don't revolve around kids is probably enough to make it so.

I agree. Breeders seem to be full of unacknowledged regret, and I think anger (actually repressed jealousy) toward the CF is one of its expressions.