Grandparents admitting what we know

https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/b8b72521-b99e-3542-88ca-0c7ab6f3d8d3/ss_sisters%26apos%3B-animosity-leads.html

A woman who calls herself "childless" and self-sufficent has noticed that her sister and parents are "phasing her out" after her siser had a sprog. Grandparents in the comments admit that it is a "survival of the species" thing where parents will ignore an adult kid without kids, and move on to the grandkids while admitting that their adult kids who are parents are now secondary, but still above the adult CF/CL kid.

Someone else then said that if all their kids had kids grandparents will usually then decide to pay more attention to the grandkids of the kid that was secretly the favorite. Regardless the CF/CL adult "kid" is at the bottom. I notice this with my spouse. His three siblings have kids and he is ignored as some odd guy they happen to know. Since it is clear to his family that we are permanantly CF due to age and being married 16 years, he has little contact with his family except Thanksgiving and phone calls only if something really big is going down like when his father was dying.

yup. My mom devoted most of her "offspring energy" to my niece after she was born. My former husband and I had long had fantasies of buying a home "in the country"--about an hour away from the family. The neglect we felt after everyone started Baby Worshipping encouraged us to go ahead and move. A couple of years later, my sister and her family moved across the country! So my Mom ended up removed from ALL of us. Ha! Sad.

I don't have any siblings but when my cousin's began sprogging... I felt pushed to the side.. but still the 'suggestions' continued. You know... the suggestions on just WHEN Starlady would have one. I was CF.. married many years at the time...and I was (am) devoted to my dogs. So attention as well as some of my old toys went to the grand nieces and nephews. My mother was almost obsessed with my cousin's daughter.. about all she talked about for a while.

My dh's family has been totally ignoring us for about 15 years now. It's more than the fact that we didn't have kyds...but I know that's part of it.

I have many many other friends who accept my choices... and my parents are both gone. Life goes on. It IS a rather selfish thing amongst grandparunts though.

They ignore the CF/CL offspring but you betcha they'll be the ones expected to provide care for elderly and ailing parents. Yet more proof that breeders are totally selfish.

I've never noticed this, because my Opa passed away before I was born, my Oma died before I turned six, and my other Grandmother wasn't really in my life most of the time because of location. After my father passed, we developed a good relationship, mostly over the phone.

It's disappointing to hear how grandparents are behaving towards their CL and CF kids. It upsets me that even in our own families, we are treated like second-class citizens. I'm glad I never had to deal with that, but I'm sad that all of my grandparents have passed away now.