Single duh on cracked.com and his take on dating

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-wtf-side-effects-being-single-dad_p2/

Number one is him thinking:

"You find yourself turning down wonderful women, because you think they may still have a bit of a wild side. Maybe that's not good for the kids. Or you consider someone who's not a great fit for you, but would be awesome for the kids. You're no longer in a two-person relationship ... you're dating for your entire household"

Or maybe a CF wallet. One of the commenters told him to stop whining and he shoulda used a rubber, and everyone hit the thumbs down on that

I'm skeptical that there are ample supplies of "wonderful women" who are eager to help raise his children.

His perception of himself and his value are overestimated IMHO.

He's not turning down wonderful women. The wonderful women are turning HIM down and he's revising history to make him sound like a better father to put his children before his dick. Plus, on a site like Cracked, if he came out with some bitter breeder bullshit about being turned down because he has kids, he's not going to get dick rubs from other breeders, but called the hell out for expecting that somebody is supposed to roll in and be a stepparent right off the bat and never get to enjoy being in a relationship.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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paragon schnitzophonic
He's not turning down wonderful women. The wonderful women are turning HIM down and he's revising history to make him sound like a better father to put his children before his dick. Plus, on a site like Cracked, if he came out with some bitter breeder bullshit about being turned down because he has kids, he's not going to get dick rubs from other breeders, but called the hell out for expecting that somebody is supposed to roll in and be a stepparent right off the bat and never get to enjoy being in a relationship.

Are there people out there who desire to be a stepparent? Maybe. More likely there are people who will simply tolerate and live with the idea, as opposed to actively seeking it out. When I was a single person I never ever sought out single mothers for a relationship and I was roundly criticized for it.

I don't want to take care of another mans children and I believe it stands to reason that most women probably feel the same way about another woman's children.

He's one of those that busts out photos of his kids on a first date, thinking you'll be so impressed that he's an awesome duh duh. Then he gets all butt hurt when you tell him this isn't going to work out.

All you have to do is look at the fertility industry and the expense and lengths that people are willing to go to in order to get kids with their DNA. Even people who want to raise a kid only want to raise their own.

He isn't saying it but after a divorce most women love the fact that with split custody they get a break from their kids. Maybe he is anxious for a wallet and a full-time babysitter so he can play poker with his friends again? What I don't understand is that is seems so selfish, would almost guarantee he is the one benefitting more from a relationship with a woman who doesn't have kids than she is. Unless he can afford a nanny and is one of the few men who understand his kids are his responsibility, not hers. Then maybe their relationship stands a chance of being egalitarian. While I don't think relationships have to be absolutely egalitarian they should be in the ballpark or at least mutually beneficial and not just during the honeymoon period. I think lots of people stick around simply because they don't want to be alone but that is on them.

Think there are some young naïve people who want kids and don't mind dating someone who has them. They may naively think that they will share equally in responsibilities. But reality is that it should be the father or mother at about 90% of the responsibilities including financial, not the childless SO. Many of them no longer desire kids of their own after that experience.

Problem is, even for people who date others who have adult kids (because they don't want kids) thinking they've found a loophole there is such a prevalence of boomerang kids. If I were foolish enough to do this (I'm not) then I would insist on a one bedroom house so there is no room for adult children. It would be a deterrent at least. Not to say there isn't a way around this!

Also, even if the parent dating has no custody of kids there is no way to guarantee that is permanent.

Hell, I've even asked if the guys I'm dating are godparents, as that is also a "no." They aren't what I'd consider child-free because people die or become addicted to drugs. Now, if they are godparents to a pet, I'm okay with that!

Most single parents have no interest in dating another single parent. His article makes no mention of a blended family or other children, just finding a person to fit into his family, so I assume that he is the same.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

Even if you aren't childfree, being a stepparent sucks. My cousin was never CF, and he ended up marrying a divorced older woman with a kid from the ex. From his nigh alcoholism, I'd say he's miserable.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

You are right freya, I was once one of those young naive people - I thought "how bad can it be?" The answer is, really fucking bad. I got lumbered with a psycho ex wife as well. Not to mention all the messing about around when the kid would come over, could never make plans. the ONE holiday we took as a couple, we never heard the end of it, he missed one weekend he was meant to have his kid and he was the worst most selfish dad ever. He spoiled the kid to try and compensate for the breakup and her shitty Moo. The guy was such an enabler. And his family were breederific, kids were everything. I found myself thinking I'd have to have kids to be on any kind of level playing field and then at some point I went WTF, this is fucked up. I didn't enjoy spending time with his kid and doing kid things. I resented having most of my weekends taken up with it and the inevitable drama. And his kid wasn't even a terrible kid really, a bit spoiled and enabled, but basically OK. It just dawned on me I didn't like kids or parenting really - and that it was so many shades of fucked up that people in his family didn't give a shit about any of their adult children until they bred.

Stepparenting for me was a blessing in disguise, because I got to see what I didn't want for myself.

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yummynotmummy
You are right freya, I was once one of those young naive people - I thought "how bad can it be?" The answer is, really fucking bad. I got lumbered with a psycho ex wife as well. Not to mention all the messing about around when the kid would come over, could never make plans. the ONE holiday we took as a couple, we never heard the end of it, he missed one weekend he was meant to have his kid and he was the worst most selfish dad ever. He spoiled the kid to try and compensate for the breakup and her shitty Moo. The guy was such an enabler. And his family were breederific, kids were everything. I found myself thinking I'd have to have kids to be on any kind of level playing field and then at some point I went WTF, this is fucked up. I didn't enjoy spending time with his kid and doing kid things. I resented having most of my weekends taken up with it and the inevitable drama. And his kid wasn't even a terrible kid really, a bit spoiled and enabled, but basically OK. It just dawned on me I didn't like kids or parenting really - and that it was so many shades of fucked up that people in his family didn't give a shit about any of their adult children until they bred.

Stepparenting for me was a blessing in disguise, because I got to see what I didn't want for myself.

Okay, that is even worse than I suspected. Sounds like Moo controlled him, 100%. Only one holiday together...how long was your relationship?

Almost 3 years. It's absolutely true what paragon_schnitzophonic said that you never really get to enjoy the relationship. As I said I was young and naive, I didn't realize at that point how breeders really worked.

Dating divorced Duds is such a bad deal.

If he left his wife and kids, he's probably a louse in some form, or terminally stupid because he bred with an idiot. (Come on, every ex wife with kids can't be a psycho.) He'll feel guilty and his kidz will get away with murder. NextWife will become #2, #3, or #4 on the priority list.

If he was left, (even if he deserved it) he'll be bitter. He'll feel perfectly entitled that NextWoman will pay for the mistakes of #1. She will be expected to cheerfully raise the kids, who, as in situation #1, will also be spoiled and allowed to get away with murder.

Sign me up for that, NOT.

Kidless Kim was a stepmother in a former life. That girl has some cautionary tales that will (rightfully) scare the Bejeezus out of you.

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yummynotmummy
Almost 3 years. It's absolutely true what paragon_schnitzophonic said that you never really get to enjoy the relationship. As I said I was young and naive, I didn't realize at that point how breeders really worked.

Almost 3 years of breeder time with only one vacation, yikes!

My old boyfriend with whom I remain friends with dated a single mom of 4 kids with all different baby daddies and never married any. He moved in with them and basically blew over 160 grand over the course of their 6 year relationship, with the last two years being horrible and he had to sleep in a locked room. The kids stole his things for scrap metal, the moo cheated on him outright and even after he moved out, the kids would call and ask him for money or rides from strange places. He is a good guy and felt like he shouldn't take it out on the kids.

His best friend is my optician, who strangely back in the day cockblocked me and OBF when we were a thing 20 years ago. I had lost touch with OBF because moo wouldn't let him talk to me. So when I called for an eye appointment I was told...."Noodler. OMG. OBF is in a baaaaad way. You need to talk some sense into him!"
I managed to help OBF out emotionally because moo really messed up his head. He has since sworn off dating single mothers and is casually dating a childfree acquaintance of my husband.

But I tried to tell him when he first started to see moo back then...."Dude. You make good money, no debt, no ex wives or baggage. You are like a wallet on legs. Run don't walk!" Shortly after he stopped contacting me. But before he cut off contact he got very upset with what I told him because he had the blinders on.

Sorry if that was a bit all over the place.

I think that OBF REALLY could've used that 160k for his retirement or towards a houes or something, but it was blown on grubby kids.