He's actually a really nice guy, so I dont want to have schadenfreude. But my friend, whose wife coerced him into, not one, but TWO SETS of fertility twins they couldnt afford, is now getting a divorce I saw coming from a fucking MILE away. His youngest is 6, so he'll be paying for the next 20yrs, and will be 72 by the time. I just dont know how people are obviously jumping thru the reproduction hoops in search of some kind of happiness, and don't see that it just aint there. The thing is, he actually did pitch in and everything, so one wonders why she would divorce him....oh....he 'doesn't make enough money (he probably at least makes 6 figures)".....so how's divorcing gonna help this? Play back and forth every weekend w/ four kids, and you'll still not have enough money because he'll be supporting 2 households. I know he coulda put his foot down and not fall for this fertility shit, (he wanted to adopt and/or stop w/ the first set of twins), but he didn't. Now he'll carry this burden literally to his grave.

Also, other breeders at work on the verge of divorce, women doing all the grunt work, the dudes being all selfish, but somehow the women didn't see how selfish they all were when the were in biological "clock ticking" mode. I know they all thought I was the evil CF girl but now that I'm retired early, still married, I wonder if they ever think about me in a different light.

Then I heard even more single co worker girls getting sperm from sperm banks cuz they cant have a baby the old fashioned way. Everyone eager to jump on the bandwagon of misery all the while looking for joy. I love how they willingly do the single mom thing while studies show in one parent homes, the children suffer. (I know there are exceptions to this, but that's what I read.)

My friend said, you think having kids is gonna be one way, but you learn it's not. Funny, she says that to me now, but 9 yrs ago, I was trying to convince her that having a kid w/ her shithead husband wasn't gonna make her happy. She out and out refused to believe me. Now she's divorced and broke and worried how she's gonna pay for everything, finally admitting to me it's not what she thought it was gonna be. Talking to my childed friends used to be rather boring since they used to mommyjack every conversation, now it aint so bad because they just confirm everything I already knew and tried to warn them about. Ha!

I lot of Moos who get divorced get a rude awakening: they think they will just get the paycheck child support but then they realize they have to spend more time with the kids.

I once worked with this dumbass bint who got divorced and had one kid. Her husband was a decent guy and he wanted shared custody. This was 25 years ago when shared custody was not very common.

Dumbass bint went all the way to the STATE SUPREME COURT fighting this guy. She spent like $75,000! She eventually "won" but then realized that having the kid almost 24/7 and only getting a break every other weekend sucked. (She also got knocked up and married another guy, which I think contributed to it.) So she ended up re-negotiating for shared custody. I felt sorry for the guy--he didn't want the divorce and she did.

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My friend said, you think having kids is gonna be one way, but you learn it's not.

Any reasonable person can evaluate what having a kid is like. Dawg knows there's plenty of information out there. to quote Robert Palmer, "you see the signs, but you can't read,"

The problem is people romanticize the notion of having a kid. They don't want to know the reality. They prefer to think it's going to be magic and rainbows and it's going to fix their marriage, get their parents to approve of them, experience tru, unconditional luuuuuuv, shape up their partner and make everyone a grownup, make them a better person....all the stupid and wrong reasons why people sprog.

one example of this I "loved" seeing was on Oprah! (yes, I used to watch sometimes--of course O pandered/s to breeders despite not being one herself. Go figure---oh--$$$ of course!) She had some high level assistant who HAD to have kids NOW, despite singleness. She had invitro or whatever and ended up with TRIPLETS!! O did a show on how miserable her life was- no sleep, constant work, inability to do her job anymore, people "didn't come through" to help her, etc etc etc.. We, of course, are sitting here saying "duh"!!

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cfuter
Then I heard even more single co worker girls getting sperm from sperm banks cuz they cant have a baby the old fashioned way. Everyone eager to jump on the bandwagon of misery all the while looking for joy. I love how they willingly do the single mom thing while studies show in one parent homes, the children suffer. (I know there are exceptions to this, but that's what I read.)

I've never understood this. Why would a woman think being a single parent from the start is a good idea? If I had been a different person who wanted kids there is no way I'd willingly be a single parent. I would expect two large incomes and two parents. Kids are insanely expensive.

Even if I was wealthy enough to not ever have to work I'd still plan to have at minimum one nanny if I decided to be a single parent. There is a reason why the overwhelming majority of wealthy families have nannies even if the moo stays at home and just does yoga and shops. If raising kids was all it is cracked up to be then a nanny would be a part-time gig only.

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reeniebessagain
one example of this I "loved" seeing was on Oprah! (yes, I used to watch sometimes--of course O pandered/s to breeders despite not being one herself. Go figure---oh--$$$ of course!) She had some high level assistant who HAD to have kids NOW, despite singleness. She had invitro or whatever and ended up with TRIPLETS!! O did a show on how miserable her life was- no sleep, constant work, inability to do her job anymore, people "didn't come through" to help her, etc etc etc.. We, of course, are sitting here saying "duh"!!

I would guess this is because the majority of her target audience have kids and they're the ones who can watch tv during the day. I haven't seen Oprah since I was in college.

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cfuter
He's actually a really nice guy, so I dont want to have schadenfreude. But my friend, whose wife coerced him into, not one, but TWO SETS of fertility twins they couldnt afford, is now getting a divorce I saw coming from a fucking MILE away. His youngest is 6, so he'll be paying for the next 20yrs, and will be 72 by the time. I just dont know how people are obviously jumping thru the reproduction hoops in search of some kind of happiness, and don't see that it just aint there. The thing is, he actually did pitch in and everything, so one wonders why she would divorce him....oh....he 'doesn't make enough money (he probably at least makes 6 figures)".....so how's divorcing gonna help this? Play back and forth every weekend w/ four kids, and you'll still not have enough money because he'll be supporting 2 households. I know he coulda put his foot down and not fall for this fertility shit, (he wanted to adopt and/or stop w/ the first set of twins), but he didn't. Now he'll carry this burden literally to his grave.

Is his wife playing with a full deck? Why would she push for 2 sets of twins if he doesn't make enough money? I just don't understand when people do things like this. He is going to be eligible to collect social security before he is done paying child support.

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freya

Is his wife playing with a full deck? Why would she push for 2 sets of twins if he doesn't make enough money? I just don't understand when people do things like this. He is going to be eligible to collect social security before he is done paying child support.

The answer to any logical person is no. She HAD to have the 2nd set of twins because the embryos were frozen and those were BAYBEES and to let them go was MURDER. She made him feel really bad about it. (P.S. she literally was on like 9 months of ABSOLUTE bedrest with the first set of twins because how precarious the pregnancy was. She was ONLY allowed to get outta bed to use the bathroom. Her mom came to help her for 9months because she was in bed. THEN the stup decided to go for a run after giving birth because she was active before the pregnancy. Well, stup was too short sighted to see that one doesn't go from bedrest to running a couple miles. Because the bedrest, her body was atrophied, and she BROKE BOTH HER LEGS with the little precious twins at home---she ended up being in bed AGAIN for months!!!! NOW would a sane person go thru all this shit to have more babies when they already have two blessed miracles????? ) Anyway, she badgered him to get different better jobs so he could make more money so they could live the highlife w/ the four kids. It never was enough for her tho. Her parents have money, nonetheless she's likely not going back to work herself and is somehow looking for happiness thru divorce now that isnt gonna happen either. The money still wont be there to make her happy if he's supporting his household and hers. I no longer expect people to make sense I guess because as a CF girl, from my POV, nothing typical breeders do ever makes sense to me. We have a million examples on this board alone.

But when I found out thru the grapevine when she was preggers again six yrs ago, I literally dropped what I was doing, and marched into my female friend's office and asked if it was true about male friend and his wife. She and I never talked about him or really my official CFness officially before, but she totally got where I was coming from immediately and she knew like i knew he really didnt want the fertility kids, if anything, he wanted to adopt one maybe two if necessary. It's odd how everyone can see how you're fucking up your life but you sometimes. Then, again, that's what the breeders think of the CF, and so far so good, I think most of us are pretty darn content with our major life choices especially when it comes to our lack of reproduction.

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cfuter

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freya

Is his wife playing with a full deck? Why would she push for 2 sets of twins if he doesn't make enough money? I just don't understand when people do things like this. He is going to be eligible to collect social security before he is done paying child support.

The answer to any logical person is no. She HAD to have the 2nd set of twins because the embryos were frozen and those were BAYBEES and to let them go was MURDER. She made him feel really bad about it. (P.S. she literally was on like 9 months of ABSOLUTE bedrest with the first set of twins because how precarious the pregnancy was. She was ONLY allowed to get outta bed to use the bathroom. Her mom came to help her for 9months because she was in bed. THEN the stup decided to go for a run after giving birth because she was active before the pregnancy. Well, stup was too short sighted to see that one doesn't go from bedrest to running a couple miles. Because the bedrest, her body was atrophied, and she BROKE BOTH HER LEGS with the little precious twins at home---she ended up being in bed AGAIN for months!!!! NOW would a sane person go thru all this shit to have more babies when they already have two blessed miracles????? ) Anyway, she badgered him to get different better jobs so he could make more money so they could live the highlife w/ the four kids. It never was enough for her tho. Her parents have money, nonetheless she's likely not going back to work herself and is somehow looking for happiness thru divorce now that isnt gonna happen either. The money still wont be there to make her happy if he's supporting his household and hers. I no longer expect people to make sense I guess because as a CF girl, from my POV, nothing typical breeders do ever makes sense to me. We have a million examples on this board alone.

But when I found out thru the grapevine when she was preggers again six yrs ago, I literally dropped what I was doing, and marched into my female friend's office and asked if it was true about male friend and his wife. She and I never talked about him or really my official CFness officially before, but she totally got where I was coming from immediately and she knew like i knew he really didnt want the fertility kids, if anything, he wanted to adopt one maybe two if necessary. It's odd how everyone can see how you're fucking up your life but you sometimes. Then, again, that's what the breeders think of the CF, and so far so good, I think most of us are pretty darn content with our major life choices especially when it comes to our lack of reproduction.

Okay. This is insane. This woman is insane and betting her husband is just trying to maintain the peace. Spaghetti monster forbid he suggest running after being bedridden for months is a bad idea! You could file these people away as a new level of train wreck in the Urban Dictionary.

Any CF person who has the ability to walk away a spouse who acts like a lunatic is way better off than a stuck breeder already.